One of the key principles in any relationship – be it professional or personal – is that much can be accomplished IF you do not care who receives the credit. Though it is human nature to want recognition for successfully implementing an idea, an individual becomes a leader (OR truly contributes selflessly to a relationship) when he or she realizes that being responsible for advancing something – for seeing an anticipated result come to fruition – is often more important than receiving credit for its accomplishment.
Any relationship – be it business or personal – will be strengthened by actively engaging in cooperative (two-way) reasoning – through openly discussing all possibilities before intentionally acting to travel upon the “best” road (not necessarily the “only” road or what you had considered the “right” road prior to your conversations). Originating alternative ideas or concepts is critical to initiate change BUT the implementation of change can often be more effective if the “doers” are empowered to act so that the “dreamers” can more freely innovate. Maturity within a relationship (or success in a managerial position) comes when the originators of ideas internalize the reality that while “doers” tend to receive credit for their performance in bringing ideas to fruition they would never have acted had not a new idea or direction been brought to the surface by a “dreamer.” As Leaders (AND Dreamers) we far too often try to push everyone in the direction we want to go (you should realize that it is far easier to pull a string than it is to push it – so why do we try to push rather than pull people?) or walk over those that appear to be in our way (stepping on someone feels SO much more satisfying than taking the effort to circumvent the problem!) rather than leading them through our actions and lifting them up upon our shoulders (rather than climbing upon theirs). Conversely, some misguided Leaders (or participants in a relationship) attempt to “overly involve” those around them in the “germinating” process hoping that a single great idea will grow from a collectively-generated seed (this may be how hybrid plants come into being but rarely can a single solution come from a fragmented collection of thoughts and suggestions). Sometimes we must determine what is appropriate to share so that “group-think” can occur while recognizing that decisions must be made and/or direction established (often singularly) so that collective action can take place to reach planned objectives (allowing the group to take the credit).
We unleash the potential of those around us to create change when we formulate an idea, expand and enhance it through conversation with stakeholders (anyone involved in necessary change or the accomplishment of alternative results), determine the best possible course of action (which will produce the best answer having the most support to minimize detractor disruption) then communicate the course we have chosen to those that will be implementing the change, acknowledging their role and contribution to determining the path we will be taking (rather than telling them what to do and how to bring our thoughts to fruition). We create dependency upon our oversight – validating and confirming our control over each and every situation and within our relationships – when we tell others what to do and when to do it (rather than by defining goals and/or expectations then monitoring progress towards their accomplishment). A relationship constructed upon a foundation of dependent reliance on the thoughts and ideas of another cannot be healthy or meaningful. Growth or success beyond that which one has already achieved cannot occur until a Leader equips those around him or her with the tools (talents, experiences, training and abilities) which will lead to and openly allow independent actions.
Great leaders originate ideas, communicate expectations then move on to consider new alternatives as they monitor the progress of those left to accomplish their initiatives. They are rarely around when the initiated tasks are completed (they will have moved on to consider a new problem) so the Dreamers will not often receive direct recognition for the results. They WILL celebrate in the accomplishments of others, however, recognizing that great rewards will ultimately come to those who can selflessly initiate change as they continuously seek new opportunities.
Those that seek recognition for their ideas and actions often lose sight of their long-term objectives and fail to meet their ultimate goals. To achieve greatness, seek it within the accomplishments of those with whom you have relationships. Leverage the capabilities of those you have equipped to act upon their ideas rather than limiting your potential to only those things you can accomplish on your own. Define yourself in the celebrations you share while leading others through their darkness so they can help light your way as they begin to utilize their gifts, abilities and talents – planted by you but nurtured through their own intentional actions - while discovering all that they can be, learning from their mistakes without fear of reprisal or being reminded of their failures.