LEAD BY EXAMPLE

Though words and promises can be compelling, the true measure of a person is not what they say but rather what they do.  Following a leader’s actions is much easier than believing promises – especially if they change based on the audience.  We must measure our leaders NOT by what they say but rather by what they do (or what their actions initiate) – and recognize that those we lead will use the same litmus to measure our decisions, actions and thoughts.  A zebra does not lose its stripes nor does a leopard lose its spots.  Why do so many leaders believe that they can get away with a “do as I say, not as I do” attitude?

How can you expect your employees to adhere to an “eight to five” schedule if your own day frequently begins at eight fifteen or ends at four thirty?  (Forget about the fact that you might have been doing company business the previous night, or that lunch was more of a thought than an action or that breaks are not part of the daily routine…people SEE you coming in late, or leaving early, and expect that to apply to them, too.)  I once worked for an organization whose engineering group participated in a Thursday afternoon golf league.  When things were going smoothly and all was running well, this was not a real problem BUT if an engineering problem on Thursday afternoon caused a disruption in production that forced employees to work over the weekend it was PERCEIVED that “engineers were never around and did not care if production employees had to give up their private lives just so that they could play golf.”  Perception often becomes reality when we choose a leadership role – and we must be vigilant to consider our integrity and how our choices might be viewed prior to taking any actions.  Parents tell their children to obey the rules (as they break the speed limit driving them somewhere), to respect their teachers (as they complain about the “boss that does not know anything”), and to take time to enjoy life (when they are “too busy doing their own thing” to play catch in the yard). 

True leaders do not worry about what they say to one group when speaking to another – they portray a consistent, predictable “story” to whomever they address.  They are not “flavor of the month” thinkers – rather they are grounded in their principles, driven by their values and willing to reveal themselves to anyone seeking to know more about them.  Individuals striving to become leaders (rather than struggling to be managers) would be wise to remember:

1)                  Words are but whispers when compared to the shouts of our actions.  We more often believe what we see than what we hear.  Regardless how you work with people, those around you establish their perception of you by what you do – by how you act – not by the things you say.  We may try to reinvent ourselves with words, polish and packaging – to sound intelligent or authoritative, to discourage challenges to what we want to do through our projected confidence – but we are no more than we appear to be to others – often unable to accomplish anything more than we are willing to do ourselves.

2)                  Look for the good in others, publicly praising their positive actions and interactions while privately addressing their attitude and enhancing their abilities.  People usually see what others do wrong – rarely recognizing or acknowledging what they do right.  Unfortunately, teachers rarely say to their students, “You are really extending your thinking today!”  Rather it is, “Do not bother the student next to you as he/she is trying to work,” “Could you help ‘Jamie’ with his work when you have done?” or “If you have finished, find something quiet to do while I work with the rest of the class.”  While we need to provide help to those requiring it – and to address and constructively correct negative behavior – we should ALSO make an effort to acknowledge and verbalize appreciation for things done well through our words AND our actions.

3)                  It is better to compromise than to criticize – to live in the house you have built through your actions than in the rubble of another’s house you destroyed with your words.  Criticism is destructive.  Competent leaders do not tear others down to make themselves look better.  One cannot lead if pushing from behind – leadership leverages the abilities of all to move the group into a singular direction that benefits the whole upon a road planned with good intentions and paved with sweat equity.

4)                  Look inwardly when assigning blame.  People often defend their inappropriate actions by shifting blame to others.  Rarely does an individual come out and say, “It was my fault.”  Far more often it is, “Sam over there did something much worse than I would ever do.  Address him before you talk to me.”  If speeding, how often do we rationalize our actions by saying, “I was going the same speed as everyone else” rather than recognizing that doing something wrong cannot be “made right” JUST BECAUSE everyone else was doing it.  When we measure ourselves against the actions of others, we will never truly see value in what we may have done (nor the full cost of what we may have done wrong) – we see only the relative value of how our actions compare to another’s.    

5)                  Judge yourself using the same standards you apply to others.  The greatest leaders of our times would never ask others to do what they would not do themselves.  Truly great generals lead their troops into battle rather than following them from behind.  Parents must “walk the talk” for their children – allowing them to follow the example of a role model rather than try to be someone or something they can only imagine possible.  Managers cannot expect full productivity without giving it themselves.

Rather than distributing consequences, we should seek truth.  We should focus more on what we are doing than on what others may not be doing.  We should lead by example rather than by edict – expecting others to do as we do rather than as we tell them to act.  Viewing life through the lens of relativity will never provide personal fulfillment – only a sense of “better than” whomever we are comparing ourselves to (or possibly worse than someone else).

GREAT LEADERS MAKE INTENTIONAL DECISIONS

Everyone makes decisions throughout their life.  Whether meaningful or insignificant, life is an ongoing realization of the possibilities we consider, the decisions we make and the actions we take.  As much as we try to research and analyze our destination before beginning a journey, people typically take multiple detours along the way by making decisions based on “what feels right” rather than on an inflexible course of action and a reaction to current events or conditions rather than an analytical weighing of all that the facts.  Good leaders win more than they lose when faced with making quick decisions based on incomplete data.  Great leaders gain the respect of others by making a high percentage of “judgment calls” that turn out to be successful decisions.  In seeking to understand how great decisions are made, some thought processes that come into play would include:

Great decision-making requires us to utilize experience-based judgment when determining the likelihood that the road we choose will lead us towards our destination.  An inexperienced driver may think he or she knows what to do when encountering a patch of black ice on the road because of the study they went through during a driver’s training class but lose control before being able to intentionally act.  An individual having experience driving in winter may react more quickly – out of a “conditioned response” to the situation – taking control of the situation without really thinking about what to do if presented with the same challenge.  Experience allows us to act without having to consider all the ramifications of our actions before taking them because we already know (without thinking) what will be more likely to lead us to success.  Rarely will a truly exceptional leader step into a position of authority until he or she has performed many different jobs within an organization, demonstrated competency in a wide array of responsibilities and experienced (and taken credit/responsibility for) both success and failure.  Gaining life experience through watching, seeing and participating in a variety of different activities is critical to the decision-making process. 

Many individuals rush to act without thoroughly investigating all potential ramifications of their action so they will not lose what they see as a potential opportunity to excel.  Truly successful people take the time to consider the “possible” as they move forward to accomplish the “probable” before attempting what others might see as being “highly unlikely” or presenting too much risk.  Conceptualizing as many possible outcomes that could occur as a result of the actions we take – being willing to accept or respond to them appropriately using knowledge we have gained through experience – establishes a far greater potential than would doing what we know works in an environment that we know breeds success.  Before acting, great leaders tend to (quickly and without hesitation) ask not only “what should be done” but, more importantly, seek to determine “why” action should (or should not be) taken, CONSTANTLY weighing the potential benefits of doing something against the repercussions (or ramifications) of doing nothing.  A validation of any decision is whether one is in a “better place” after acting than they were before.  If doing nothing provides a preferable result, it is often more advantageous to intentionally hold back rather than to foolishly rush forward.

Great leaders ensure that the organization will continue to benefit from good judgment in the future by developing it in those with whom they work today.  They involve others in the decision-making process by leading them to a solution rather than pushing them to a conclusion, allowing them to see both the benefits and the potential pitfalls of any action taken.  They allow others to make mistakes so that they can experience resolving them rather than continually sheltering them from harm’s way by removing the risk of loss from the equation.  Unless (and until) an individual is given the opportunity to overcome the limitations of today’s reality by moving beyond “what works” towards “what has yet to be attempted,” developing a variety of experiences from which future decisions will be based, he or she may never be able to make important or significant decisions.  Involving the people needed for implementation in the decision-making process, adding to and gaining from their experience along the way, will allow them to make better judgment calls in the future.  Helping others to make better decisions will minimize the number of critical calls we must make ourselves.

Great leaders gain credibility and respect by allowing those around them to grow through exposure to new and different situations (often allowing them to grow by failing), rewarding progress as they move towards success (always monitoring the decisions they make to minimize catastrophic disruption) and encouraging others to analyze risk before acting (to recognize both the rewards of accomplishment and the ramifications of failure). 

The key to making great decisions is to maintain “mental flexibility.”  It is OK to change your mind if the conditions or situations driving your initial decision change.  It is never wrong to act UNLESS you act without first considering all the ramifications involved with the actions you take.  It is never wrong to INTENTIONALLY CHOOSE not to act UNLESS your failure to act is due to a fear of the unknown or an unintentionally missed opportunity.  Being unafraid to make a mistake from which you can ultimately learn is critical as our greatest rewards are often born through the painful experiences of our losses.

 

 As you move forward in decision-making skills, seek that which is possible rather than settling for what might seem probable.  Do not limit yourself to what you can see – reach for what you dream.  Recognize that dreams and imaginings often initiate great discoveries if we allow them to lead us to action.  Avoid, however, pushing others ahead as you go.  Pull them along with you as you discover new and exciting opportunities – allow them to reap the benefits of your work as they seek to establish the courage of their own convictions.  Take control of your life by deciding to act (or intentionally choosing NOT to act) – inspiring (or getting out of the way of) those seeking to advance.

TO MANAGE OR TO LEAD? THAT IS THE QUESTION...

A manager mobilizes others to act in order to accomplish a defined goal or objective.  Managers identify (and communicate) expected results then train, direct or tell others what must be done to accomplish specific tasks.  The shortcoming with managing, however, is that doing things “by the book” and “as expected” inhibits innovation, creativity and change.  Unfortunately, many managers put what is accomplished above how it is done, inadvertently demonstrating that the ends are more important than the means.  Managers who dictate who does what, how is it to be done and what is an acceptable outcome can accomplish much BUT will rarely inspire others to greatness nor improve upon “what is” by discovering “what could be.”  Through the application of a specific and highly honed skill-set, managers successfully:

·         Identify objectives

·         Communicate expectations

·         Monitor progress and modify processes and

·         Acknowledge results

We know that when someone moves into their first management role it is common to do what their favorite manager did OR intentionally act differently than their worst supervisor.  Far too often, however, employees are promoted into management because they were great “performers” and are expected to pass their exceptional abilities on to others (without being equipped with the tools necessary to make this transfer).  Managing tends to be accomplished through “carrot and stick” directives – with an emphasis on the stick and a minimization of the carrot.  These traditional methods of managing people at work, however, are being challenged by social and cultural factors within today’s workforce.  Some Managers get frustrated with this emerging reality as they keep behaving the way they always have (believing that if they show consistency of style and predictability of reactions employees will eventually adapt) expecting to motivate a different workforce. 

A leader accomplishes transformational change through people.  While great leaders are typically good managers, a strong manager does not necessarily have the ability to lead.  Leaders accomplish change by inspiring others to act (without fearing failure) rather than expecting them to act as directed.  Leaders are able to leverage the strengths of employees having diverse backgrounds, experiences, values and expectations to achieve a common goal or shared outcome.  A Leader must be willing to change course while keeping sight on the objective, recognizing that anything worth accomplishing often presents risks and challenges that must be overcome – that changing conditions, new information, or unexpected obstacles are temporary obstructions in life’s pathway to success.  Leaders who embrace change and welcome different perspectives are open to new ideas and often accomplish much more than could have been done individually.  Successful leaders must periodically reflect upon “how” things are done rather than focusing solely upon “what was done” and must work with (rather than through) others in order to achieve success.  A great leader accomplishes much by consistently:

•         Building and maintaining relationships
•         Identifying and satisfying the needs of all those invested in an outcome
•         Motivating and rewarding individuals while acknowledging the contributions of a team
•          Establishing trust and showing respect
•          Setting goals, communicating expectations and providing feedback, and
•          Allowing people to learn from (rather than punishing them for) failure

It is difficult to get employees to act independently and take accountability for their actions – embracing both the lessons of their shortcomings and the success of their accomplishments – if they are “told” how to do what they have been assigned rather than being “sold” on why something must be done and allowed to participate in choosing how it might be best accomplished.  The days of an autocratic and directive management style are long gone, replaced by a need for adaptability, responsiveness and oversight.  A good leader NEVER lessens the requirements or expectations of a job nor diminishes individual performance standards or overall results.  Today’s leader must, however, understand how to leverage (and acknowledge) individual strengths to accomplish corporate objectives.  Clearly communicating expectations then effectively engaging others to establish processes and procedures that will accomplish required objectives then monitoring and measuring activities while staying out of the way of progress are the keys to successful leadership.  While managers can still help to identify problems, strong and effective leaders become a vital part of most new and innovative solutions.  

THERE IS MORE TO LEADING IN LIFE THAN CAPTURING (OR CONTAINING) THE WIND

Every team needs a leader – but rarely can one individual set the course, trim the sails, maintain course and stabilize the ship by him or herself without the help or assistance of others.  True leaders emerge during times of trouble, turmoil and strife – riding the strength of their convictions to success – as they leverage the abilities of others to accomplish exponential multiples of what they could have achieved by themselves.  While there should be very little difference in one’s leadership style when facing success OR unexpected hurdles (whether at work, at home or in a relationship), far too many “competent” individuals take full responsibility for accomplishments and excuse their action (or inaction) by blaming them on or deferring them to others rather than sharing credit for things done well and accepting responsibility for actions that may have led to unwanted consequences.  A good leader bends to fit into their surroundings rather than standing firmly against life’s storms.  An exceptional leader utilizes all the resources at his or her disposal to ensure success, safety and continued progress rather than seeking personal praise and short term-gain (popularity, acceptance, being “liked”) while pursuing excellence. 

Leadership (and life) could be thought of as a ship at sea – needing a form of propulsion, a means of stabilization, a method to control direction and a way to hold fast in order to safely travel a charted course in the pursuit of a not yet discovered destination.  When setting and communicating a course of action, a Leader must take responsibility for his or her actions AND the consequences of the team’s actions by taking ownership of a situation rather than blaming another for an unfortunate circumstance – accepting and facing reality while constantly pushing towards an anticipated destination.   He or she must act as a sail by capturing the wind to push the team forward – anticipating and avoiding changes in the winds that could disrupt progress.  Without a sail (or motor, for the less classical thinker), a ship will drift endlessly upon the currents without intentional motion or expected results.  A sail pushes a ship forward much as a good leader encourages forward progress by recognizing and anticipating the contributions of each member as the team progresses towards a final destination.  When propulsion is removed, a ship will stall.  When leadership is missing, a team may wallow and a relationship may drift aimlessly and before eventually (possibly) reaching a destination (which is often unplanned, unexpected and less than ideal). 

A ship needs both a rudder and a keel in order to “stay the course” as it progresses forward.  Without some form of steering a ship cannot turn – and while the quickest path between two points IS a straight line, life rarely provides unobstructed access to our goals.  Without some kind of stability – a keel or ballast beneath the surface – a ship will tilt, lean and possibly capsize before it reaches its destination.  A Leader must ask the right questions when investigating a situation – listening for useful input from others – while steering around obstacles (or correcting missteps) in the pursuit of a final objective.  A Leader takes his or her personal obligations (and credibility) more seriously than his or her personal work expectations.  Anticipated or planned objectives invariably change but a course charted by intentional thought and navigated with integrity can lead a team through any unexpected obstacle or unwanted disruption.  Trust is not earned easily but MUST be attained through consistent demonstration within an individual’s life as it often becomes the stability that keeps a team on course.  While taking the easy road that needs no navigation or situational stabilization (ignoring a situation or partially concealing a truth) may be less painful and create fewer short-term disruptions or distractions, individuals preferring to dodge responsibility for their choices and actions will never be seen as credible leaders when they are provided the opportunity to lead – and straight and narrow paths through waters having no turbulence are rarely encountered in life.

A ship cannot travel forever without stopping for replenishment.  While a sailboat needs only the wind to move forward and a nuclear-powered ship could theoretically travel nearly forever, both have to stop at some point to resupply.  A ship does not typically reach its final destination by accident and without an adequate anchor (or anchorage) holding the ship steady – providing safety from the elements – a crew could not rest (causing the journey to become dangerous).  Ships need an anchor to secure them while considering a new course BEFORE venturing forth if a destination is to be reached with maximum efficiency.  Likewise, a team needs “an anchor” to hold it back long enough to examine how it must proceed as it seeks new and innovative resolutions.  Fools rush in – leaders step back so they can understand what was done, why it happened and what could be done differently BEFORE pushing relentlessly forward.  UNLESS a leader can identify sails, rudders, keels and anchors within his or her team – accepting each part’s abilities and limitations – the path to success will never be traveled without tragic mishap.  Life Leadership requires us to acknowledge sails, stability, direction and time for reevaluation if we are to be successful as we move towards effective problem resolution and the intentional accomplishment of our objectives.  

WORDS ATTRACT ATTENTION – ACTIONS INSPIRE RESULTS

While words and promises can be compelling, the true measure of a person is not what is said but rather what is done.  Following a leader’s actions is much easier than believing promises – especially if what is said changes like the winds (or the weather here in Michigan).  Though a zebra may think itself a horse it cannot lose its stripes.  A child’s storybook once portrayed a porcupine that thought himself to be “fluffy” rather than “prickly” but his actions spoke louder than his words.  We have often been told that “if we can dream it, we can do it” but unless (and until) we take intentional action to move from where we are to where we wish to be, nothing changes from what it is to what it could become.  In order to lead effectively we must let go of the misconception that people will listen to what we say (and ask) without regard to what we do (or expect to be done) to accomplish what we want (without appropriate explanation) as we seek different results (without leading by example).

How can we expect our employees to adhere to an “eight to five” schedule if our day frequently begins at eight fifteen or ends at four thirty – with errands extending lunch and personal phone calls, internet inquiries or text messaging disrupting us from fulfilling our responsibilities?  (Forget about the fact that you might have been doing company business the previous night, or that lunch was really an important business meeting or that breaks are not part of the daily routine…people SEE you coming in late or leaving early, your actions screaming far more loudly than the undertones of reality.)  Parents tell their children to obey the rules (as they break the speed limit driving them somewhere), to respect their teachers (as they complain about the “boss that does not know anything”), and to take time to enjoy life (when they are “too busy doing their own thing” to play catch in the yard).  Many sales organizations make unrealistic promises to customers (in order to “close the sale”) that must be kept by employees working long hours (evenings, weekends and Holidays) while the people making the promise spend time with their family.  While this “customer service” reality may be hard to avoid, repeated abuse of the time of others while no apparent “self-sacrifice” is perceived by those putting in the time will minimize the credibility of the “abuser” and create hard feelings within an organization.

As humans, we are not perfect.  We must learn to lead effectively by acting in a consistent and predictable manner (NOT necessarily doing the same thing in the same way all the time but rather by thinking in a logical manner that recognizes and considers the factors influencing success before acting in a way that those being led can understand).  If we wish to be who we truly are rather than presenting ourselves as what we wish we could be, it would be wise to remember:

1)                  Words are but whispers when compared to the shouts of our actions.  People more often believe what they see than what they hear.  Those around you establish their perception of you by what you do – by how you act – not by the things you say, ask or request.  We may try to reinvent ourselves with words, polish and packaging but we are truly only what our actions establish us to be in the eyes of others.  If a picture is worth a thousand words, how many volumes would a day’s worth of our actions (be they good or bad, consistent or random) write upon the pages of the lives of those we interact with on a regular basis?

2)                  Look for the good in others, publicly praising their positive actions and interactions to raise their attitudes and abilities while privately addressing their shortcomings by helping them to learn from their mistakes.  People usually see what others do wrong – rarely recognizing or acknowledging what they do right.  Parents rarely say to their children, “You are really being a good shopper today!”  Rather it is, “don’t touch,” “wait until we get home,” or “I’m never going to bring you shopping again!”  Though we need to address and constructively correct negative behavior, we should make an effort to acknowledge and verbalize appreciation for things done well.  Far too many Managers feel that good performance is an expectation needing no acknowledgement (we pay people to do their job) while poor work must be immediately addressed and corrected (far too often in an excessive or potentially abusive manner). 

3)                  It is better to compromise than to criticize – to live in the house you have built through your actions than in the rubble of another’s house you destroyed with your words.  Criticism is destructive.  Competent leaders do not tear others down to make themselves look better, they build others up to make ALL improve.  One cannot lead by pushing from the bottom – leadership leverages the abilities of all to move the group into a singular direction that benefits the whole – to raise the abilities of all so that the team can achieve an ever-increasing level of competence – pulling others along with them as they rise to the top.

4)                  Look inwardly when assigning blame.  People often defend their inappropriate actions by shifting blame to others.  Rarely does an individual come out and say, “It was my fault.”  Far more often it is, “Sam over there did something much worse than I would ever do.  Address him before you talk to me.”  When we measure ourselves against the actions of others, we will never truly see value in what we may have done (nor the full impact that our mistakes may have) – we see only the relative value of how our actions compare to another’s (concluding that “better than another” is “good enough” rather than striving for the best).  Far too many politicians blame all failures on their predecessors while claiming all success as being their own – or (as is currently being done) deflect and defer rather than speaking boldly and acting with confidence. 

5)                  Judge yourself using the same standards you apply to others.  The greatest leaders of our times would never ask others to do what they would not do themselves.  Truly great generals lead their troops into battle rather than following them from behind.  Parents must “walk the talk” for their children.  Managers cannot expect full productivity without giving it themselves.  Anyone in a meaningful and sustainable relationship must share equally and contribute proportionately to a mutually beneficial outcome (rather than expecting another to be you or do things exactly as you would do them).

Effective leaders seek truth rather than distributing consequences.  They focus more on what they are doing than on what others may not be doing – leading by example rather than by edict.  In order to lead effectively we must recognize that nothing we say will overcome the things others see us do – that our actions are the clanging symbols of a band while our words are the whispering flutes.  Were we to live each day as if we lived in a glass house having no shades or blinds to mask our actions, would our words reinforce our reality or would our reality overcome our words?  Only when we can accept the results that come from others doing what they see us do rather than performing as we tell them to act will we fulfill our leadership potential.

THE PATH (AND POWER) DIFFERENTIATING LEADERS FROM MANAGERS

Leadership and management are not synonymous.  Though some feel they must be “fully in control” if they are to be “in charge” of a situation – that to acknowledge challenge or criticism weakens their position of authority – they lose the power of leadership when they force others into being managed.  Many feel that leading and managing are synonymous – that to lead they must actively and overtly establish themselves as being in charge – of managing and controlling the actions of another.  What they do not easily realize that leaders are often rugged individualists able to assume power and authority by the sheer presence of their strength while managers are instruments necessary for the accomplishment of assigned tasks but often fail to rise above their surroundings.  Managers need to plan, measure, monitor, coordinate, solve, hire, fire, and so many other things. Typically, managers manage things. Leaders lead people.  The definition of a leader is someone who has followers – people who believe in the leader’s values, abilities, and judgments enough that they are willing to support him or her as they are led towards a shared destination.  This is far different from managing someone’s actions or directing them to accomplish an assigned activity as no loyalty or belief is required when direction comes from a position of assumed power rather than one of sincere trust.  At the risk of over-simplifying a complicated issue,

MANAGEMENT is:

·         Coordinating and directing activities in order to accomplish defined goals or objectives

·         Telling others what to do (and, often, when/how to do it)

·         Assigning and overseeing specific activities that must be performed by others to complete work or projects in a predictable and proven way

·         Directing, measuring, and correcting work activities intended to accomplish assigned tasks

·         Accomplishing personal or corporate objectives through the efforts of others

·         Top down directives with little room for self-expression

·         More autocratic than democratic – often accepting responsibility for success

·         Minimizing chaos (maximizing order and control) to produce structured results

·         Working through others to accomplish objectives

·         Expecting others to do as they are told so things are done correctly

·         Making sure people are doing things right

LEADERSHIP is:

·         Defining objectives then facilitating discussion on how best to accomplish them

·         Asking for input from others before telling others what should be done

·         Assigning responsibility for and providing accountability to others for the work they do

·         Demonstrating practices and welcoming input that will improve results

·         Accomplishing shared objectives through the efforts of the team

·         Lifting (and holding) the team up so it can accomplish great things

·         More democratic than autocratic – but responsible for both successes and failures

·         Allowing controlled chaos to create effective solutions

·         Working with others to accomplish great things

·         Not asking others to do what they would not do themselves

·         Making sure objectives are being accomplished and credit is being given appropriately

Those who cannot differentiate power from authority often diminish their ability to rise with their team – choosing instead to raise themselves upon the work, effort and accomplishments of others OR minimize the work of others so they appear to have risen without doing anything to advance their cause or purpose.  Individuals unable to accept success as a stepping stone rather than a destination – as a point from which to leap rather than a place upon which they settle – often find themselves chasing windmills rather than harnessing the wind.  They find that coasting downhill is easier than pedaling up and accept living in the valley rather than climbing to the next peak – choosing to manage their current situation rather than leading in the discovery of a new solution.  Those seeking power often do so at the expense of gaining respect – mortgaging their long-term integrity for a short-term taste of recognition.  Seeking power focuses efforts on the means rather than the ends – on how something should be accomplished rather than on what must ultimately be achieved – often inhibiting creative efforts that might exceed (rather than simply meeting) expectations.  Those accepting authority find themselves given more power than they could ever have imagined for when authority is assumed the responsibility (and reward) for outcomes is freely given.

To bring others along with us as we accomplish great things we must lead rather than manage – pull others with us rather than pushing them from behind.  We must establish and demonstrate confidence in our own abilities before we can expect anyone else to have confidence in us.  Anyone can manage by imposing their will upon those around them – by forcing compliance through a position of power.  Only those willing to learn, to apply their knowledge and exercise their authority (by sharing successes and assuming blame) will become leaders – finding the most effective passage through whatever obstacle presents itself - at work, at home or in their personal relationships.

THE TROUBLE WITH ACCEPTING BAD BEHAVIOR

Have you ever noticed that people tend to blame others much more frequently than they accept blame when something goes wrong?  Our children do it ("It was not my fault!"), our employees do it ("I could have had it finished if only I had received it on time from..."), and we often even do it ourselves ("Had I done it by myself it would have been finished long ago…").  Blaming is easy.  One must only open his or her mouth, shoot off a couple of random statements that shift responsibility to another, then sit back and keep out of the crossfire.  While blame can be deferred, however, it does not change the fact that someone did (or did not do) something that derailed a project, process or activity.  Unless (or until) we address or correct the behavior it will most likely continue to happen – each time becoming more acceptable than the last.  Unless (and until) we address the behavior (action or decision) that leads one to produce poorly we will never rise above the obstacles that surround us. 

Learning from the mistakes of others is easy (since there is no personal pain from their thwarted gain).  Assuming accountability for our own shortcomings or failures is far more difficult.  Though most people would say it is ridiculous to think that one would subject themselves to the added pressure of constantly assuming another's mistakes, think about the way that our culture has evolved.  We come to the rescue of those in need.  We try to create an “equal playing field” whenever possible.  We reward effort rather than results.  We provide limitless opportunity to succeed while sheltering, buffering or protecting from failure.  How can we expect to instill a degree of accountability into others when we are unwilling to implement the “effects” that should be a direct result of their “causes?” 

We teach to the masses, trying to bring all to a defined level of competency rather than pushing those capable of more to their maximum potential.  Rather than grouping kids by learning (and achievement) levels, classrooms are "blended to better reflect the environment that will be experienced in real life."  We make sure that kids are SOCIALLY adjusted - but at what cost?  Why be the "good kid" when those creating havoc are the ones receiving all the attention?  Why do we reward "improvement" or “effort” rather than "achievement?"  Do our extreme inclusive and recognition efforts encourage good behavior or reward bad?  Think about the ramifications of our actions - who gets most of your time and attention?  Do you spend more time with those doing all that is expected or the one needing constant attention and continuous reminders as to what needs doing next?  Our continuous excusing of bad behavior (or accepting a marginal result) is possibly the worst behavior we could display – and it seems to run rampant in the name of equality (rather than equity), living wages (rather than competitive market rates),  and relative worth (rather than absolute value).

We tend to reward bad behavior in business, too.  Sometimes individuals rise to their highest level of incompetence unless we are willing to identify and address inadequacies along the way.  I once knew an employee who had excellent technical skills but could not supervise people.  Rather than providing him with the tools needed to perform his job then holding him accountable for his performance, he was promoted into an upper management position so the company could retain his knowledge of the industry but “insulate him from making daily supervisory mistakes.”  Failing to evaluate performance honestly – not communicating expectations and establishing consequences – often allows a person to rise within an organization by moving from one frustrated supervisor to the next.  Though we may not intentionally reward someone for acting poorly, accepting the results of negative behavior without consequences unintentionally validates the poor behavior being displayed.  Supervisors often look the other way when employees make mistakes but very few employees (or people) will initiate behavioral change without first feeling a little pain of reproach – a conundrum created by silent acceptance of inadequate behavior.

Everyone has rules designed to control actions, increase productivity or quality, reduce losses or provide a safe, socially acceptable environment in which to work.  When writing or implementing rules, however, we should identify the intent or behavioral change expected.  Before publishing the restriction, consider the “why” of a rule more than what the rule says (allows or disallows).  Should a rule violation occur, we must address inappropriate or unacceptable behavior, point out what was done wrong AND detail how it could have been done correctly.  In addressing an unacceptable result we must not minimize the individual responsible but cannot excuse bad behavior but rather should embrace the learning that comes from making mistakes.  We must allow individuals to recognize and acknowledge the obstacles that stand between where they are and where they wish to be – and to address them (rather than simply moving around them).  Pure avoidance rarely results in lasting change – the very action you wished altered often reinforced when there are no consequences.

Nobody can stand up without first falling down nor run without first walking.  Why do we expect more from people in a work situation than is necessary to live and grow?  When actions are overly regulated, we penalize individuals making a mistake by removing their opportunity to change – to learn from failure.  Rather than being a part of the problem, address the negative actions of others (in a positive way) to become a major factor in the implementation of a solution.  Learn from personal failure while remaining tolerant of shortcomings.  We tend to receive no more than we expect and achieve no more than we believe possible.  When we accept poor behavior (and its resulting poor performance), how can we ever expect to achieve greatness? 

Identify inappropriate actions, correct them, then monitor the resultant changed behavior to make sure a mistake becomes “the exception” rather than the “rule.”  People can learn from their mistakes and move forward ONLY if they are constructively confronted when the behavior occurs (AND their actions or results addressed appropriately should the behavior not change).

THE CONVERGING PATHS OF CREDIBILITY AND INTEGRITY

Choosing right over wrong, ethics over convenience, and truth over popularity are seemingly difficult benchmarks to achieve in life.  Business leaders must continually use consistency, fairness and equity as the litmus test for decisions they make in regards to product offerings, finances and employee-related issues.  Employees (or those seeking work) must identify and present truth over fiction, reality over desires and an honest appraisal of what they can do over what they feel they could be capable of doing when seeking advancement or fulfillment.  Individuals within successful relationships must remain open and honest with communications, fair and reasonable in expectations and willing to both express “wished for” outcomes and accept compromise to achieve mutually beneficial results.  Far too many of the ethical shortcomings in today’s world have their roots in a lack of transparency – people or business seeing what they can get away with rather than doing what they know is right or speaking in one manner while acting in another – as they seek the fulfillment of self-serving values.

Supervisors (or individuals within their personal relationships) often find themselves in trouble when they communicate a partial truth, remain silent on an important aspect or condition, or fail to tell the “why” when issuing instruction or correction.  Communicating partial truths to different people – even if what is being said is not a lie but rather just part of the story – can compound itself by allowing stories to become mixed during ongoing communication or to fully materialize when people talk to each other about what you have said.  If an individual is being criticized or verbally attacked and you are in a position to intercede with “the rest of the story” that might make the berating stop but you choose to say nothing, silence can broadcast a lack of integrity more loudly than words could ever manage.  Directing rather than explaining – particularly if there appears to be inconsistency or a lack of consideration for others in the orders – can reduce credibility and integrity within a leader, partner or friend.  Honesty and integrity must be the benchmark of all communication – fairness and equity the litmus – for an individual to earn and maintain respect in their personal OR professional life.

Our environment and those we are with change frequently but our value system – our ethics – cannot drift upon the winds if we are to remain an anchor to those around us.  In order to be a contributing part of the solution rather than a significant part of the problem, our values must serve as a rock-solid set of principles to establish and guide proper conduct. This set of principles should ALWAYS influence our decisions and choices, outwardly determining our actions, if we are to express integrity and establish credibility.  Unless our exhibited actions are natural expressions gained through training, experience, and an application of closely held principles, those depending upon us for guidance will lose confidence in our choices and become fearful of our leadership decisions.  When faced with difficult decisions, we all must make choices that are well thought-out and that lead to a planned “end point.”  When given a choice, far too many individuals take the path of least resistance rather than taking “the high road” wherever it may lead.  “Integrity” is not an object we can seek nor a destination we can find, it is the glue that holds successful human interaction together – a path to follow as we seek to find meaning and fulfillment in our everyday actions.  Integrity is the “high road” upon which we should travel as we build meaningful, trust-filled relationships.

In order to avoid being more “stubborn” than “purposeful” we should be prepared to change our mind (and potentially our choice or direction) should the situation around us OR the facts upon which our initial decision was based be significantly altered.  The only thing that is certain in life is change – not the direction of change nor the likelihood of controlling change, only the knowledge that change will happen – so we must be prepared to manage it.  Leaders often find themselves in a position to make or break relationships, ensure the success of a venture or institution, or cause the realization or the destruction of dreams with every decision they make.  Good leaders typically thrive on “making a difference,” quietly accepting praise for a job done well (often spreading it graciously over the efforts of a team) while assuming blame for things that went wrong (often sheltering “the team” from outside criticism).  Great leaders build credibility through the transparency, consistency, predictability and integrity of their words and actions.

BE A PATH MAKER RATHER THAN A PATH TAKER

Have you ever met someone who sets a course in life based on how many others are doing the same thing?  Rather than identifying problems, investigating root causes and intentionally setting into motion the actions that would resolve issues in an individual and/or unique way, the path of least resistance is chosen as these individuals travel upon roads that others take and make “safe” (commonly acceptable) rather than “right” (based on fact rather than the opinion of others) decisions.  Perhaps it might be better (though possibly more difficult) to seek individuals who seems to consistently and continuously “take the high road” in the way things are done and choose the path less traveled (rather than the path of least resistance) when making decisions – for knowing (and associating with) such a person will invariably lead to success.

Far too many people diminish their potential by following the crowd (doing what is “right and prudent”) rather than following their own beliefs.  They seek popularity (or at least acceptance) rather than standing strong on their own values, judgments and decisions.  They choose to blend into the majority rather than the criticism that standing alone often brings.  They accept that things are as they should be rather than seeking what could be possible if established systems and familiar processes were to be challenged.  The “throng” tends to validate itself by thinking, “We are no different than anyone else – the same as all others with whom we associate” rather than believing, “We are all unique individuals whose potential is limited only by our individual actions and behaviors.”  The attacks our society mounts against individuals seeking to make a difference through non-conventional methods or untested thoughts and processes are often enough to discourage all but the brave to forge their own path.  By homogenizing our unique characteristics into a single melting pot that can be universally accepted by all, “the many” seek to stifle the ability of all but a rare and outspoken few to make a difference in the world.  Allowing this to happen – either explicitly through participation or implicitly through acceptance – diminishes one’s ability to think, act and contribute in a meaningful way.

  

Following the crowd is easy.  Anyone can do what others accept, go where others are going, act as others act and find a sense of community by blending in. Travelling familiar roads and doing things the way they have always been done can take the bumps and turns out of our journey BUT when we do things as they have always been done we can expect nothing more than has already been accomplished.  When we move forward by focusing upon where we have been and what we have done we cannot truly see where we are going or what might be accomplished.  While teaching our granddaughter to ride a bicycle I found myself telling her to “look where she is going rather than watching where she has been” if she seeks to achieve success without falling – an axiom that should apply to all we say and do in life but is often abandoned as we seek acceptance and validation by others.   Only when we accept that much can come from seeking a different reality than that chosen by the crowd will we realize that loss can become gain, failure can breed success, and the decision to stop can be either a conclusion (accepting that what is will always be) OR a new beginning (failure is a detour rather than a dead end on the road to success).  Followers of a crowd tend to accept the group’s destination as a place to land while those seeking to make an individual difference often build their future from the stopping point accepted by others as being “good enough.”

Too many supervisors seek acceptance from those they lead rather than striving to earn their respect.  Too many parents seek to be friends with their children (and their acquaintances) rather than role models.  Too many teachers want to be “liked” by their students rather than viewed as being “tough but fair.”  Too many of our political leaders make decisions based on polls that measure what the majority think they should do rather than doing what might negatively impact the majority IF a decision or course of action might be best for the values (and sustainability) of our nation.  When forging a path using our personal strengths, values and character we tend to lean towards greatness in all that we say, do and accomplish.  Alternatively, when we try to make ourselves look better by pulling others down – making ourselves look good by tarnishing another’s reputation or diminishing their abilities – we often find ourselves travelling upon roads fraught with hazards, pot holes, barricades and dead ends. 

What kind of transformations might take place in our nation (and in YOUR life) if more decisions were made (and courses of action taken) driven by “rather than…” thinking?  What might YOU be able to accomplish – what potential might you be able to realize – were you to “march to your own drummer” and forge your own path rather than listening to (and following) the music made by others?  You will know (and be able to realize) your true potential ONLY should you choose to accept the risk and opportunity that individuality brings – leaving behind the comfort, support and (often) false security that being “one of the crowd” provides. Only those choosing to be path makers rather than path takers can truly rise to the top.

WHEN OPPORTUNITY KNOCKS...

When opportunity knocks, some refuse to open the door, excusing themselves from any responsibility for the challenges that life might place before them. They prefer living within the status quo – taking the familiar “easy path” to any the destination that might appear beyond the horizon – implicitly declaring that change and opportunity may be great for others but should be avoided at all costs when personally confronted.  Rarely will you find an individual wishing to initiate change – to face opportunity head on so they might reap the potential rewards their risk might provide – travelling only upon the straight and narrow road.  Conversely, one seeking the comfort of “what is” rather than the opportunities that “what could be” might present will avoid the twists and turns that an unimproved path presents as they will spend so much of their time blaming each bump on the inadequacy of another and perceiving every detour as a dead end rather than unrealized possibility – that little forward progress will be accomplished.  People refusing to put forth more than minimal effort while expecting exceptional results are unrealistic in their beliefs.

 

Far too many individuals seek to rise to the top upon the backs of others, expecting to receive the same rewards simply because they share the same space and breathe the same air, rather than opening the door when opportunity knocks.  Those seeking to leverage their individual abilities, attitudes and desires eagerly open the door to new opportunities.  They immerse themselves in the identification of “root causes” that may have initiated the disruptive events in their lives, seeking to become an indispensable part of innovative solutions rather than an ongoing contributor to seemingly unresolvable issues and unreasonable expectations. They move forward upon paths defined by the conditions – considering not only the situation as it is but also what it might project to become – before beginning their journey, ALWAYS willing to adjust their travels should any motivating or influencing factors change. Individuals answering the knock of opportunity typically identify paths not yet imagined as they take roads not yet improved while seeking destinations not previously explored or defined. Those willing to take risks in life visualize where they might go once they step through the door of opportunity. They do not hide behind the safety of a closed existence, they absolutely refuse to accept the loss of “what might be possible.”

Sharing our workload and the results of our efforts has become an expectation as we seek to magnify and enhance our individual contributions by blending them with the unique gifts others have been given to accomplish collectively more than could have been completed on our own.  Might our emphasis on sharing and “teamwork”, however, be inadvertently discouraging individuals from “answering the knock of opportunity” by dissuading them from expressing their personal thoughts, feelings and expectations – encouraging them to find comfort and security in “group think,” fearing failure rather than embracing the learning that it can bring? Within a world that rewards results rather than encouraging discovery, do we allow people to bring their dreams to fruition or do we contain their imaginations within well-defined parameters and highly structured “acceptable” processes?  Do we actually keep the door closed by convincing people it is alright to find comfort in the way things are (and that they will never change) rather than encouraging them to take intentional risks that MIGHT produce exceptional rewards?  Perhaps the opportunity that knocks in life should be welcomed as a dream that has yet to become reality rather than a reality that has established itself as a dream.

Dreams are thoughts not yet realized – aspirations not yet brought to fruition. Dreams are the basis of our goals and the foundation of our good intentions. We can LIVE life without dreams BUT cannot EMBRACE life’s full potential (or become all we hope to be or realize all we might wish to accomplish) without first visualizing what we want to become or what we desire to do BEFORE we begin to travel through life.  Those that perform to the standards and expectations of others may be great contributors (as they add value to society) but until they identify their individual aspirations and work towards accomplishing them, people rarely discover new horizons or identify unknown paths that would allow them to travel beyond the door of opportunity once it has been opened – to cross the threshold from “what is” to “what has yet been imagined.”  To accomplish our dreams we must be willing to open the door that holds us captive within the safety and security of our “present” so we can embrace the unknown opportunities of a “future” yet to be fully identified, realized or finalized. When opportunity knocks, you can ignore it, consciously turn it away or embrace it as you move towards its unrealized potential. You can answer its call or hide within the safety and security of what you know to be real – leaving the opportunity for someone else to invest the time and energy you are unable (or unwilling) to expend – but must then accept the results they accomplish rather than the possibilities you could have attained.

Should you seek to make a difference in the world – to expand your horizons beyond “here and now” towards dreams not yet realized (or, in some cases, not yet imagined), open YOUR door when you hear someone knocking.  When opportunity knocks, some accomplish much because they sacrifice all, holding back nothing as they seek “the prize” rather than worrying about “the cost.”  They picture life as a series of surmountable hills rather than a single insurmountable mountain.  They see obstacles in life being temporary detours rather than permanent closures, finding “the good” in every situation they encounter rather than dwelling upon “the bad” in what might come their way.  People answering the knock of opportunity see where they wish to be and envision what they wish to become the intentionally acting to make those things reality rather than holding back or maintaining the status quo. While accomplishing much for themselves, they allow others to taste success by paving the way for them to follow once they the door has been opened (understanding and knowing that leaving the door closed would prohibit new discoveries and eliminate new accomplishments – sentencing the world to stagnation and decline rather than hope and prosperity).