The Employers' Association

The Employers’ Association (TEA) is a not-for-profit employers’ association, formed in 1939, with offices in Grand Rapids serving the West Michigan employer community. We help more than 600 member companies maximize employee productivity and minimize employer liability through human resources and management advice, training, survey data, and consulting services.

TEA is in the business of helping people. This blog is intended to address human issues, concerns and the things that impact people - be they self-perpetuated or externally imposed. Feel free to respond to the thoughts presented here, for without each other, we are nothing!

Tuesday, July 24, 2018

The Not So Dirty Secrets Effective Leaders Tend to Keep

If you listen to the radio, search the internet or read a newspaper, every politician, local or civic leader, sports celebrity (and even many church leaders) seem to have expressed an unpopular opinion, have made a “politically incorrect” comment, behaved in an inappropriate manner or has kept some “dirty little secret” from the public (which, either accidentally or purposefully has “leaked” or become exposed to the public).  We are left with tarnished heroes, questionable leaders, shaky relationships and a plethora of “conspiracy theories” from which we must filter the accusations, investigate the claims and make our own value judgments.  

It seems we rarely are able to “judge a book by its cover” or “take someone at face value” anymore as “what we see is no longer what we get” from many individuals we once trusted.  Rather than “building others up” we seem to have an increasing number of individuals being given leadership roles who would prefer to bring others down (so they can look better or at least rationalize that they are not “so” bad).  It is an exception that individuals lift others up (rising to the top upon their accomplishments) – that they manage others using the same standards they might apply to themselves – rather than the “rule” it once was.  Though business does not typically examine its leaders with the same level of scrutiny we do our political candidates (nor do we apply the same standard to our personal relationships as we seek comfort in the current rather than challenging ourselves to change), many individual “secrets” kept will affect our effectiveness when given the opportunity to take action or make decisions in ANY leadership role we may assume.

To manage others (or effectively navigate through situations) we typically develop and communicate well-defined expectations identifying what must be done (sometimes HOW it must be done), when it must be accomplished, what rewards will be given (if success is achieved) and what might be the negative impact if “good intentions” and “supreme efforts” fail to produce acceptable results.  Effective leaders initiate processes (after ensuring that individuals expected to perform are qualified, trained and capable) by clearly stating what must be accomplished THEN getting out of the way so that work can be accomplished (while monitoring progress, helping to guide efforts and maintaining control of the time-frame, not the specific actions or activities).  Linking rewards to the level of performance demonstrated are invaluable components in the management of people. An effective leader allows others to exhibit their strengths, learn from their mistakes and grow by realizing their own capabilities.  While controlling and overbearing managers MAY accomplish what is expected in the time allotted, the “dirty little secret” that is often ignored is that they rarely build loyalty, create independent thinkers or help others grow.

Effective Leaders often operate more in the world of what could be possible rather than what is probable.  They tend to identify their successes and measure their accomplishments against a “fluid and flexible” set of values, standards and expectations.  A list of “secrets” managers should consider to ensure their success (AND that could be applied liberally to any personal situation or relationship to make it successful) would include:
  • It is OK and natural not to like everything you must do to accomplish your job (or be successful within a personal relationship).  It is NOT OK to avoid, refuse to do, or ignore the parts you dislike (or to remain “painfully silent” within a martyrs role to keep from talking about an issue or concern).
  •  It is OK to make a mistake AND to make a wrong decision as long as you learn from the error, can correct its negative ramifications and grow in the future.  It is NOT OK to keep making the same mistake or to expect to grow by taking the path of least resistance – the road well-traveled upon which everyone else goes – if you hope to achieve different results than everyone else experiences.
  • One must ACT on the things that can be controlled while IDENTIFYING obstacles outside of your sphere of influence that might prevent you from achieving your objectives.  Once identified, either act to eliminate the hurdles OR actively seek the help of someone who DOES have the ability to overcome the inevitable so that you can move on to accomplish the improbable.
  • Lying, cheating, or stealing is intolerable.  Great performers whose high results come through dishonesty or at someone else’s expense will be discredited and lose the respect of others.  Respect is a value that is sometimes difficult to earn and hard to define or assign but easily lost and almost impossible to restore.
  • Effective leaders truly believe that there is nothing that “cannot be done.”  While some solutions MAY be cost-prohibitive, impractical, or beyond our ability to implement, “I can’t,” “It’s not possible,” or “don’t try it” are attitudes that are not part of successful conversations. 
  • Well thought-out solutions that resolve issues encountered while doing your job are not reasons for celebration – rather they are expectations of the way you should continually exhibit and apply your abilities.  Achieving a milestone within a relationship should not be “the end” but rather simply a “new beginning.”  Effective leaders tend to be eternally optimistic – believing that while “Rome may not have been built in a day” it was definitely constructed through the work and efforts of many committed to accomplishing a seemingly impossible dream.
In order to be successful we must say what we mean, mean what we say, live as we would want
others to live, wear our values on our sleeves and BE all that we proclaim (or profess) to be.  When we live transparently (not perfectly) our secrets become revealed as the values we choose to live by and the standards we expect others to apply as they reach for their own stars (with a little help from their leadership friend).

Thursday, June 28, 2018

Let The Past Flow Through Your Fingers as You Hold On to the Hope of a Better World…


I once held my thoughts and aspirations as gold within my hands – seemingly more precious than even the air that I breathed…
I watched my accomplishments shine, rivaling the sun with their brilliance…
I displayed my abilities as I hid my weaknesses, masking them behind the strength I projected…

While we all face distractions and disappointments throughout our lives, holding onto what “once was” rather than reaching out for “what could be” is a recipe for disaster.  Things once held as valuable slip from our grasp as we gain experience.  A bright and shining future put on hold because of seemingly uncontrollable circumstances.  A secure job ripped from us due no fault of our own.  A relationship tarnished by an unanticipated action (or an uncontrolled reaction).  Life happens – how we react to it can either advance or standings or stagnate our existence.  When we try to control life by our own actions and capabilities without any help from others or guidance from those potentially more knowledgeable or experienced we often realize “the best we could expect” rather than enjoying the “most we could possibly imagine.”

I reached out blindly, searching desperately for what had passed me by - grasping what once was but could never be again…
My memories become but water running through my fingers - unable to be contained within my hands as they flowed freely from my grasp…
Accomplishments of the past provide but a flickering light within my darkened world – those things that were once so important now incapable of providing the fire that once flamed within my soul…

When we live in the past we become absorbed by “what used to be” rather than seeking out “what is” or “what could yet be.”  Far too many individuals seek comfort in the belief that things will eventually return to what they once were rather than seeking new beginnings within the activities in which they are engaged.  We tend to stagnate ourselves (and the hopes and dreams of all those around us) when we continually reinforce the value of our memories – when we create our identity from “what we were” rather than “who we are” or “what we might yet become.”  Seeking shelter in the past may not be a fatal flaw but relying upon past accomplishments to provide a refuge from our current realities will never allow us to face the present (or seek the future) as we grow.  Finding comfort in what we once did, accomplished or created rather than in what we may be able to do if only we applied the lessons learned in the past to overcome current obstacles will never fully satisfy our hunger for advancement.

Life has but one beginning and one end - forcing us to travel upon an endless circle of circumstance as we seek meaning to the existence we far too often allow to flow through our fingers…
We must reach out to grasp those things not yet offered – leaving behind what has been accomplished as we seek possibilities yet to be realized in a never-ending quest for fulfillment…
We must acknowledge that the security our past once provided erodes as each new beginning flows through our hands…
We must sail with confidence into each unknown horizon, encouraging those willing to follow as they seek a future while helping those not yet willing to let go of their precarious present…
We must open our hands to let go of all that has been – all we have tried to capture and control through our individual efforts – so we have room within our grasp for what has not yet been revealed.

Though some may find a degree of comfort and security within the confines of their individualized existence, few of us will experience life without unexpected or unplanned change.  Change is the only certainty in life.  People survive by anticipating change, setting their course upon the waters flowing through their hands.  People struggle when they seek to find (or create) “sameness” within an ever changing world.  They tend to thrive when riding freely upon life’s rapids, immersing themselves within currents placed before them within the river of life. 

Good leaders recognize that they cannot hope to hold back the waters of change as they flow through their fingers.  Rather than trying to hold back the waters, Great leaders tend to hold onto their hopes for a brighter tomorrow and their dreams for a future made better by their thoughts, abilities, desires and intentional actions.

Monday, June 18, 2018

EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION IS MORE THAN AUTHORITATIVE CONVERSATION


Far too many people – whether it be in their personal or their work life – believe that TALKING to someone is the same as COMMUNICATING with them.  They believe that conversation (whether it is one or two sided) is enough – that “saying something” and acknowledging a response is sufficient – that sending an e-mail or leaving a voicemail message is equivalent to (if not more efficient than) spending time in two-way discussion.  People often think that if they speak authoritatively they will be able to influence the behavior of others (because individuals do not argue with someone who seems to know what they are doing) – that “give and take” conversations serve only to delay the decision-making process.  These individuals are firm believers in the principle that “he/she who speaks first, last and loudest is right” so they often will talk an issue to death (or send a declaratory note or leave a one-sided voicemail) rather than allowing someone else to have the “final say” (or, sometimes, any “say” at all).  Rather than accepting that individuals have two ears and one mouth (might that not indicate that someone SHOULD listen twice as much as they talk?) they think since the words (and the volume in which they are spoken) are of greater significance and importance than are thoughts and sentences expressed by others (heard rather than expressed – considered rather than imposed).  If we wish to communicate effectively we must listen before expressing ourselves – think before verbalizing our thoughts.
 
EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION is a sum of several important parts – not simply words spoken or actions deferred.  Communication is the act of thinking about what we wish to say BEFORE uttering words – of organizing the thoughts we wish others to hear and discuss so they will initiate appropriate (and intentional) actions.  Conversation is an exchange of words meant to create a meaningful relationship – communication is the transformation of thoughts and words into meaningful (and intentional) action.  Conversation typically involves what you wish to share with another – communication focuses more on what you wish to accomplish.  In order to communicate effectively we must:

·         Identify our objectives and organize our thoughts before we express our wishes or desires
·         Listen actively to others
·         Speak ONLY after considering the ramifications of our words
·         Establish and assign ownership to a shared vision or idea while transferring accountability with responsibility to individuals assuming the risk (and receiving the credit)
·         Intentionally follow-through to make sure expectations are met and objectives are accomplished (while avoiding our natural tendency to “rescue” or “save” another from mistakes or failures)
·         Allow mistakes (our own and those of others) to become learning experiences rather than death sentences – discuss alternatives without imposing “capital punishment” on anyone making a mistake
·         Praise openly and honestly – criticize privately and quietly.

To communicate well we must identify what we wish to accomplish – figure out what we want our words to change, alter or enhance – before we begin to talk, write or “tweet.”  Politicians often seem to say whatever they think you want to hear – in a manner convincing enough to make us forget what they may have said yesterday or what they will be saying tomorrow – often abandoning their principles or core values in order to appease the masses.  A conversationalist enters a debate with his or her ears (and mouth) wide open, clearly identifying and discussing the “means” but often failing to bring to fruition an “end.”  An effective communicator plans his or her outcome before speaking, listens (and considers) responses then works towards mutually satisfactory and actionable results.  Ineffective communication is often expressed by “telling” others what to do and how to do it.  Effective communication is a participative process – not an event but a series of ongoing compromises.  A conversationalist can “talk ‘til the cows come home.” A communicator will first ask (or somehow identify) where the cows live, determine what obstacles might prevent them from returning home, then encourage (facilitate and initiate) their safe return to the barn.  Conversing is often socially and politically correct – an everyday part of life lived in co-existence with others.  Effective communication is often more focused (with a purpose in mind), specific (to the point and directed towards a clearly-identified outcome), intentional (less casual, never entered into without thought, consideration and two-way participation) and result-oriented (NEVER done without rhyme, reason or rationale).

One of the most overlooked aspects of effective communication is intentional and measured silence – when listening becomes active and saying nothing helps to formulate direction.  When one is speaking, he or she is not actively (OR inactively) listening.  When planting thoughts, unless they are given the time to germinate and the conditions to thrive it is hard to harvest their full bounty.  When we speak loudly and forcefully to be heard above the noise around us, we often lose sight of the fact that a whisper can be much more effective in a quiet, listening room than can be a shout in a crowded building.  Silence often creates discomfort – but it is not YOUR responsibility to fill every void with the sound of your own voice.  In order to communicate effectively we must allow silence to be deafening at times – echoing within the conversational void as if it were an angry sea pounding upon an unforgiving rocky shore.  Allow your thoughts and ideas to fill the moments of silence that listening (rather than talking) creates – encouraging and allowing others to enhance your ideas and contribute their own – then EXPRESS shared and mutual thoughts into encouraging words that initiate, communicate and motivate change.

Effective Communication is transforming words into actions through carefully directed compromise that produces “win-win” situations (rather than telling others to do something within a “win-lose” mentality).  Converse with others if you wish to share experiences, thoughts, feelings or dreams.  While one needs to converse in order to communicate, not all conversation becomes effective communication.  Communication is conversation on steroids – an exchange of thoughts and ideas that results in an investment of time and resources focused towards the accomplishment of an intended (and intentional) consequence. People who “can” tend to talk (often about what they intend to do or hope to accomplish)…people who “do” communicate (directing their conversation towards tangible accomplishment and deferring the credit for success to those involved) in order to produce results.

Talk is cheap.  It fills time and space with words (but does not necessarily require an investment of resources to create an intended intentional result).  While conversation is a necessary part of living within a community, communication is the key to creating change.  When you need to accomplish something – when an action must result in an equal and opposite reaction that alters or modifies a condition or behavior – communicate your thoughts, your intents and your expectations clearly by stating the facts then listening for (and encouraging) buy-in from all involved.  We should all strive to be better conversationalists (as good two-way conversation can improve relationships and help support one another).  When we make a conscious effort to communicate more effectively by gathering our thoughts, listening to those around us and allowing others to contribute to “corporate” success we not only enhance and improve relationships but (possibly more significantly) we can help to change the world.

Thursday, June 14, 2018

WE MUST LET GO BEFORE WE CAN MOVE ON…


Why is it that when “all has been said and all has been done,” when there is nothing left to say that will make a difference, many continue to seek what more they might say and what else they can do to achieve the accomplishment they feel should happen?  People often seem unwilling to close the door – to move on once a decision has been made or a situation has been tentatively resolved – continuously second guessing themselves to the point that “all that was said” becomes meaningless noise and “all that was been done” loses its significance as nothing “right” has been accomplished and the proper words were not spoken (or at least not heard).  What may have been a great solution to a tough problem becomes a rest stop rather than a destination to those seeking “perfection” rather than resolution.  Rather than dousing the flames they smolder – ready to reignite as they devour our time like an untended fire spreading out upon the dry leaves in a forest.  Rather than calling something finished so their talents can be channeled towards the resolution of other issues, some cannot “let go” (because of their sense of perfection or their need to have all the details right before being convince to move on) so very little “new” is ever accomplished (though much “tried and true” can be validated, confirmed and completed).   Two vital and critical steps to letting go and moving on would be that when you feel “all has been said,” quit speaking and start acting – when you sense that “all has been done,” turn away from the closed doors so you can begin opening new ones.

It is never wrong to change your mind or shift direction IF the conditions or factors that led to your decision change.  It IS wrong to avoid making a decision or setting a course of action because you fear you may have to change your mind at some point in  time – that we become paralyzed by our analysis of a situation, unable (or unwilling) to accept the validity of our thought processes once an issue has been identified and a resolution formulated.  Unless we accept resolution (even if for a short period of time until situations, circumstances or conditions change) we establish insurmountable artificial roadblocks that prevent us from moving in any direction or accomplishing anything.  We become pawns to the process rather than stewards of the solution.  We become bound by a need for absolute certainty, losing sight of “the possible” that provides with the freedom to consider new opportunities and challenges rather than doing ONLY what has always been done before (to achieve the same outcomes that have always been achieved).  When we focus on finality rather than simply seeking temporary and acceptable closure we stifle our ability to innovate, motivate and shift directions as needed to identify new frontiers and sail upon uncharted waters.  When living under the cloak of “fearing failure” we limit our ability to take calculated risks that may open new doors moving forward (which remain out of our reach if we expend all our energy trying to nail shut the doors behind us).  We must shift our focus from where we have been (and are comfortable) to where we wish to be (regardless of the risk or anxiety change may cause) if we wish to let go of the past so we can move towards a new (and potentially bright) future – allowing ourselves the luxury of turning around to face forward rather than walking backwards towards an unseen cliff.

Everyone wants “change” but few take the time to define what “change” truly looks like.  Is the light at the end of the tunnel one of Hope or is it one of unavoidable Disaster?   Listening to promises of change is never a bad thing in and of itself.  Such promises, however, should always identify what is being left behind along with what the alternative might be.  Seeking change just to alter the present is hollow unless we are willing to accept the differences that are expected when we decide to change (OR embrace the consequences that will necessarily follow should we choose NOT to change).

Whenever we decide to change we must identify where we want to be – intentionally thinking about what must be changed (and what should be left the same) – before seeking the promise an unrealized future may hold (or worse, accepting only the reality of an already fulfilled past).  We must embrace the opportunities that an uncertain future offers, moving deliberately forward in an effort to grow from them rather than worrying about things you cannot control or obsessing over change that is going to happen regardless of what you may (or may not) do.  Individuals either embrace the opportunity of a new tomorrow by consciously (and intentionally) leaving behind what is not working as they seek what might work OR they are swept up in someone else’s vision without thinking about its ramifications.  Do not fear change – fear only those things AND individuals that refuse to change as you seek to expand your present-day reality into a fresh new tomorrow.  Closing one door usually opens another – but it does not eliminate the opportunity to reopen the door should conditions or circumstances change.

In order to thrive we must learn to innovate rather than finding comfort in what has always been (because today will never become tomorrow).  We must learn to think of alternatives (rather than simply “doing what is expected") if we wish to taste success.  We must apply our knowledge to new situations (rather than memorizing answers to questions that have already been asked and answered).  When all is said and all is done, our emphasis must be on recognizing accomplishment rather than rewarding effort – or we will continue to answer questions with proven solutions rather than accomplishing great and not-yet realized things.  In order to initiate change we must recognize that one must move forward if he or she ever hopes to hear what has yet to be said or experience what has not yet been initiated – and that holding on to what we do (know or are comfortable with) MAY keep us from realizing our full potential or accomplishing what was once thought impossible.

Thursday, May 24, 2018

DEMONSTRATING GOOD JUDGMENT IS THE KEY TO INDIVIDUAL (AND GROUP) ACCOMPLISHMENT


One of the most important things that a Leader does is to make decisions.  As much as we try to research and analyze the paths we travel, a good leader typically makes many decisions based on “what feels right” rather than some recipe of right and wrong choices, decisions or alternatives.  A high percentage of the “judgment calls” that people considered to be great leaders make turn out to be successful decisions while poor leaders tend to make poor decisions (often shifting the blame for failure to those that work for them).  How do good leaders “win more often than they lose” and how can their judgment be transferred to others?  THIS is the essence of leadership – not only knowing what to do and when to do it but also how to transfer actions (and accountability) to others - when to hold on AS WELL AS when to let go and get out of the way!

Good judgment is experience-based.  Leaders typically have a variety of experiences to draw upon when making decisions.  Rarely will a great leader step into a position of authority without having first experienced many different roles, responsibilities, successes and failures.  Visualizing how one situation applies to another – dealing with the practical application of situations and how they interact rather than only the theoretical facts that can be seen by anyone – is a transition many find difficult.  Great leaders not only apply their knowledge, they continually expose others within their organization to new and different situations (and appropriate levels of responsibility) – often allowing them to grow by failing (as long as it does not negatively and irreparably impact “innocents” or the organization) – so that they, too, can develop a variety of experiences from which future decisions will be based.

Good judgment is more often the result of many small decisions coming together to pave the road upon which major decisions must travel rather than the infamous “ah-ha” moment that trainers would lead you to expect.  Great inventions were rarely planned – often they are the culmination of many lesser ideas, failures, false-starts and misdirected accomplishments.  While great decisions are almost never made without careful analysis, thorough investigation, utilization of “cause/effect” processes (and a conscious, willful implementation of an action plan to move forward cautiously), they are often the result of our reacting to what has occurred because of the experience we have gained rather than us brilliantly anticipating a solution before experimenting our way through multiple levels of success.  While working to harness electricity, Edison once stated that he had never failed but rather discovered a thousand solutions that did not work on his way to discovering the one that would.  Leaders do not have all the answers (nor should they pretend to know all the right questions) but when moving forward it should be with confidence (having alternatives and options in mind) so that others will follow with faith rather than hold back due to warranted trepidation.

Decision-making is a process, not an event.  As situations change, so should one’s direction.  Good leaders make decisions then move on to other challenges.  Great leaders make decisions and monitor how they play out while moving on to other opportunities.  Great leaders NEVER lose sight of their objective nor abandon the process (EVEN IF others feel that a situation has been resolved) as they recognize that today’s destination is but a launching point for tomorrow’s opportunities.  They are willing to change their mind as factors and conditions change – recognizing that such mid-decision shifts are (when properly explained and  communicated) an indication of strength, intelligence and good judgment rather than a show of weakness, indecision or lack of knowledge.  While good decision-making begins with the realization that a need for change exists (NO change is usually good if made ONLY for the sake of change rather than to accomplish something different) it requires the application of good judgment to initiate positive action, it cannot produce results until a problem has been identified and a reasonable solution considered, tested, implemented, monitored, measured, validated and allowed to produce results prior to it being changed.

Great leaders make decisions by combining their practical experience with a well-developed knowledge of the situation, organization, problem, issue (OR people involved) while considering the context within which a decision must be made (urgency, importance, etc.).  He or she understands that all three factors influence any decision made – people, environment and urgency.  A great leader will engage the people needed to implement a decision in the decision-making process, allowing them to understand not only the “what” of actions but also the “why” as they add to their experience along the way.  Sharing thought processes to develop both “wins” and “losses” on the road to success will help others make better judgment calls in the future.  Great leaders think, consider, decide then intentionally act (while providing those around them with an opportunity to grow by allowing them to expand their own experiences) so that the organization, relationship or situation will continue to thrive and grow as it benefits from the application of good judgment in the future.  While many decisions must be made quickly, no decision should be made without thought, the development of alternative courses of action and the application of good judgment.  Even if the best decision is to intentionally decide NOT to act (which CAN be a good decision), never consider a lack of intentional action or the failure to implement because of time restraints, disinterest or inexperience a positive as it often is but an accident waiting to happen – a crisis waiting to be fully revealed.. 

Be a better leader in whatever situation you find yourself by helping others to grow.  Engage their minds (hopes and dreams) as fully as you engage your own, allowing them to act (as you monitor results and get out of the way of their progress).  Unless (and until) you prepare others to do what you typically are expected to do you will never achieve more than you have accomplished nor realize anything that has not already been experienced by someone else.

Thursday, May 3, 2018

DOES THE BEHAVIOR OF OTHERS REFLECT WHAT WE EXPECT OR WHAT WE ACCEPT?


Have you ever noticed that people tend to blame others much more frequently than they accept blame when something goes wrong?  Our children do it ("It wasn't my fault!"), our employees do it ("I could have had it finished if only I'd received it on time from..."), and we often even do it ourselves ("Had I done it by myself it would have been finished long ago…").  Blaming is easy.  One must only open his or her mouth, shoot off a couple of random statements that shift responsibility to another, then sit back and stay low (to keep out of the crossfire).  While blame can be deferred, it does not change the fact that someone did (or did not do) something that derailed a project, process or activity.  Unless (or until) we address or correct the behavior that caused the mishap it will most likely continue to happen – each time becoming more acceptable than the last because someone will always do something to “work around” the problem and a change of direction may never be needed.   

Learning from the mistakes of others is easy (since there is no personal pain from their thwarted gain).  Assuming accountability for our own shortcomings or failures is far more difficult.  Though most people would say it is ridiculous to think that one would subject themselves to the added pressure of constantly assuming another's mistakes, think about the way that our culture has evolved.  We come to the rescue of those in need.  We try to create an “equal playing field” whenever possible.  We reward effort rather than results.  We provide all with the opportunity to learn and succeed (EVEN IF an individual may need to learn differently than we think or their idea of success is not the same as ours). 

Our schools have taken the major step towards "inclusiveness" when educating children.  We teach to the masses, trying to bring all to a defined level of competency rather than pushing those capable of more to their maximum potential.  Rather than grouping kids by learning (and achievement) level, classrooms are "blended to better reflect the environment that will be experienced in real life."  We make sure that kids are SOCIALLY adjusted so they can get along with others - but at what cost?  Why be the "good kid" when those creating havoc are the ones receiving all the attention in an attempt to bolster their self-esteem or show them that someone cares?  Why do we reward improvement, progress and attempts rather than achievement, conclusion or results?  Are we rewarding bad behavior when we lavish praise on the disrupters trying to get them to change or are we encouraging good behavior when we do not pay attention to those achieving on their own (since they do not need the help)?  Who gets most of your time and attention – the one doing all that is expected or the one needing constant attention and continuous reminders as to what needs doing next?  Our continuous excusing bad behavior (or accepting a marginal result) is possibly the worst behavior we could display – and it seems to run rampant in the name of equality (rather than equity), living wages (rather than competitive market rates),  and relative worth (rather than absolute value).

We tend to reward bad behavior in business, too.  Sometimes individuals rise to their highest level of incompetence because we are unwilling to identify and address inadequacies along the way (sometimes out of fear of discrimination, unequal treatment or just plain aversion to confrontation).  I once knew of an employee who had excellent technical skills but could not supervise people (he continued to be the doer rather than the leader after he was promoted to supervision).  Rather than providing him with the tools needed to perform his job then holding him accountable for his performance, he was promoted into an upper management position so the company could retain his knowledge of the industry but “insulate him from making daily supervisory mistakes.”  Failing to evaluate performance honestly – not communicating expectations and establishing consequences – often allows a person to rise within an organization by moving from one frustrated supervisor to the next – leaving behind a sigh of relief but inflicting an undocumented problem upon the next individual expected to lead the person.  Though we may not intentionally reward someone for acting poorly, accepting the results of negative behavior without consequences is no different than rewarding the negative behavior – in some cases “omission” is the same as “commission.”  Supervisors often look the other way when employees make mistakes because it is far easier to accept and “cover” for another than it is to correct and establish firm expectations.  Employees (or people) do not, however, initiate behavioral change without first feeling a little pain of reproach – a conundrum created by silent acceptance of inadequate behavior rather than specific correction of unacceptable actions.

Everyone has rules designed to control actions, increase productivity or quality, reduce losses or provide a safe, socially acceptable environment in which to work.  When writing or implementing rules, however, we should identify the intent of the policy and any behavioral change expected to embrace a change of culture.  Before publishing the restriction, consider the “why” of a rule more than what the rule says (allows or disallows).  Should a rule violation occur, we must address inappropriate or unacceptable behavior, point out what was done wrong AND detail how it could have been done correctly (AND that the correct course of action will become the norm of the future).  Do not excuse bad behavior - embrace the learning that comes from making mistakes.  We must acknowledge that nobody can stand up without first falling down and nobody can run without first walking.  When actions are overly regulated, we penalize individuals making a mistake by removing their opportunity to change – to learn from failure.  We must allow individuals to recognize and acknowledge the obstacles that stand between where they are and where they wish to be – and to address them (rather than simply moving around them).  Pure avoidance rarely results in lasting change – the very action you wished altered often reinforced when there are no consequences.  We must not, however, allow an inappropriate action or unacceptable result to continue once corrected.

Rather than being a part of the problem, address the negative actions of others (in a positive way) to become a major factor in the implementation of a solution.  Learn from personal failure while remaining tolerant of the shortcomings of others – and allow others to do the same.  We tend to receive no more than we expect of others nor ultimately achieve any more than we believe possible.  When we accept poor behavior (and its resulting poor performance), how can we ever expect to achieve greatness? 

Identify inappropriate actions, correct them, then monitor behavior to make sure a mistake becomes “the exception” rather than the “rule.”  People can learn from their mistakes and move forward IF confronted when the behavior occurs.  They can contribute mightily to their personal growth and success when given acceptable alternatives and their actions are monitored to make sure change happens.

Friday, April 27, 2018

VALUE YOUR TIME FOR IT MARCHES RELENTLESSLY FORWARD


Yesterday is but a memory – regardless of how sweet or sad, it has passed us by and become history.  Today is nearly done – who we are and what we experience will soon be a part of our past as it cannot become tomorrow.  Only what we build for – what is in our “not yet accomplished” bucket – will inevitably (and undeniably) become today at some point in time, pausing only long enough for us to accomplish that which we intentionally act upon before it, too, fades into the past.  Time is a precious (and valuable) commodity that far too many take for granted.  We must value the time we have (recognizing and understanding that we have no guarantee of time) and use it to make a difference in the lives of others if we hope our time can be measured in more than minutes, hours and days.

Why is it that people tend to rush to judgment, hurry up to wait, and do ANYTHING but “stop to smell the roses?”  Though time is seemingly in abundance when we have nothing to do, it passes far too quickly when we would prefer it to stand still.  We seem to worry more about how quickly we can finish the race than we do about the joy found along the way – or even the satisfaction derived from simply crossing the finish line.  People far too often worry needlessly about things outside of their control rather than identifying the things over which they have influence and acting upon them.  We fear we do not have the time to slow down so, instead of appreciating the things around us we ignore them while driving relentlessly to some vague and often unidentified goal.  We often find ourselves slaves to the very clock we so desperately seek to master when we keep ourselves busy to the point of exhaustion – confusing “busy” with “productive” as we measure efforts rather than results.

Many people complain about their lemons rather than celebrating their opportunity to make lemonade.  The weather is too hot (yet the long winter will almost certainly bring complaints about it being too cold).  I am too busy to exercise (several acquaintances were in accidents this past year that took from them the ability to freely move about – I am sure they wish “being busy” was all that kept them from exercising).  Rather than finding satisfaction in all they have accomplished, some see only what has not been finished (excusing indecisiveness or inaction as being a lack of time) or what they wish they had (rather celebrating than what they actually possess).  We have become a nation of complainers – bringing others down in order to make ourselves look better RATHER THAN elevating ourselves in order to pull others up with us.

Rather than rushing to judge others, take time to ask WHY someone acted a certain way (particularly if “that way” is different than your way so you immediately judge it as being “wrong”).  Rather than expediting (and articulating) your condemnation of another’s unique, untested or unusual idea take time to see if YOUR perspective might be the root cause of your exasperation.  Offer advice and counsel rather than critically dismissing another’s action as being worthless, wrong or misguided.  Doing something for another because they may have done it wrong (or differently than you might have) provides but a short term “fix” as it changes only results rather than altering behavior.  Providing fish gives someone a meal – teaching them how to catch fish provides a long-term solution.  Spending time to make time is ALWAYS a good investment.  Making time at the expense of another’s time is questionable at best.

Why hurry up to wait?  If you are going to have to wait anyway, use the time preparing for the journey.  You cannot control another’s behavior – only your own.  If someone else is frustrating you by being late, use the time productively to think about how YOU might be able to change the situation.  Is there something you can do that the person you are waiting for feels the need to accomplish before leaving?  If YOU are the one who is late, call ahead to say when you will arrive.  It will not make you early but at least your tardiness will not be holding others up.  We are far too quick to blame and too slow to seek responsibility when we play the hurry up and wait game – often too busy assigning “fault” to seek a workable (and timely) solution. 

When people rush to see how much they can do or see they often lessen the enjoyment of what they actually saw or accomplished.  A better utilization of the limited time we have might be to find joy in the journey rather than accepting nothing but the accomplishment of a defined goal.  Investing time in the discovery of a solution rather than seeking ONLY the satisfaction of accomplishment of a task or assignment will allow you to apply “lessons learned” to other situations in the future.

Some measure life by the number of breaths they take.  Might not a better measure be the number sunrises (or sunsets) we can see as a testimony of our reality?  Walk occasionally rather than running all the time.  Seek solace in the cry of a gull or find joy in the laughter of a child.  Though we cannot stop the passing of time we can stop chasing blindly the hands of time as they race relentlessly around the clock.  The sands of time will not bury us if we become the master of our own universe by taking the time to appreciate not only where we are going but also how – and if – we chose to arrive.