ACCEPTING THE INEVITABLE ALLOWS CHANGE – INDIVIDUAL ACTION INITIATES TRANSFORMATION

Fall seems to be passing quickly, burying the memories of summer under a blanket of colorful leaves that have become but a wet and slippery slope towards the coming winter.  The lake has taken on the cold hues of winter – covered with black migratory birds quietly seeking food and rest during their long journey south. Gone are the joyful sounds of children playing upon the beach and the throaty rumble of “go fast boats” as they glide across the surface of the early morning or late evening lake.  The mornings arrive later than before – and the night earlier – obscuring the beauty of the lake beneath a shroud of darkness.  The eerie sound of cool breezes moving the naked branches of trees having lost their leaves and of whitecaps crashing upon the shore replace the desperate cry of gulls swarming for food.  This time of year is hard for a “lake lover” for the cooling water serves as a reminder that a time of frozen life and suspended dreams is just around the corner.

Looking out the window this past weekend reinforced the reality that summer is behind us – a hard frost left

the ground blanketed beneath a delicate white sheet – far too thin to be snow but a harsh reminder of the transformation about to begin.  Plants that once thrived begin to wilt and trees that hid beneath an emerald green coat appear thoroughly dead rather than simply dormant.  Fall signals a time of change within our lives (for winter enthusiasts perhaps a happier tone than for me) but transition is in the winds and transformation will not be delayed.

Along with the weather, autumn signals another opportunity for individual change.  One of the greatest freedoms our country offers is the unrestricted right to express our opinion within the voting booth – an opportunity that presents itself on November 4 this year.  It seems that every time we turn around there is an election, whether for local, school, state or federal issues, giving us the opportunity to express ourselves often in this country.  Many feel their single voice does not make a difference so they chose to silence it by not voting – but when we do not speak, how can we claim victory (or complain when what we want is not implemented)?  Since our nation was founded on individual rights, freedoms AND responsibilities, perhaps we should make a concerted effort to be responsible this year by voting for individuals we deem qualified to lead our state and country rather than simply going dormant like the plants and trees of summer.

The opportunity we have to vote allows us to endorse the direction that our country (or state) is moving OR seek to change it.  This November offers us the opportunity to participate in a rare “mid-term election” that might truly make a difference in our daily lives.  Primaries throughout the country indicate that “the people” want change they thought they were getting in the last general election.  Whether an incumbent speaks for the people or not seems not to matter this year – it is a year of transition in which being in the right place at the wrong time may result in a “clean sweep” of those in office.  Advertising has become more negative than positive as candidates from both parties provide information that “has been approved” by the person seeking your confidence.  Truth seems created (rather than reported) during campaigns – with responsible advertising a hope rather than an expectation.

In order to participate in this opportunity to create intentional change, study to reveal reality rather than simply reacting to an emotional appeal.  Do not act on the suggestion or recommendation of another – be it a friend, a union, a church or a newspaper article.   Do not take your responsibility lightly – the power of individual opinion can still establish the course of a nation when concerned and educated people base their actions upon solid information gathered through individual research, voting with their heads rather than their hearts!

Whether you consider yourself Democrat, Republican, or Independent – Liberal or Conservative – we are

provided the right to express our personal opinions within the voting booth.  Far too many of us, however, choose not to exercise our right to voice an opinion.  Choosing not to vote is not a “silent protest” – it is a blatant disregard for the freedom we have been given to express our views within a system that, in many parts of the world, all too often closes out the opinions of private citizens.  When given the opportunity to speak this November, shout with your vote.  Do not remain a passive spectator to the action that is unfolding in front of you – be an active participant in the formation and implementation of life-changing agendas.

WHICH COMES FIRST – SELF ESTEEM OR SUCCESS?

Society tends to minimize the importance of learning from failure, encouraging positive self-esteem and equality within all individuals, in order for them to be confident in taking the risks required of success.  Unfortunately, life is not always fair – and people should look to receive “equitable consideration” (based on their individual needs) rather than “equal treatment” (as “one size does not fit all”).  What is good for one IS NOT necessarily good for all – we must focus on what will help each individual with whom we interact rather than what is good for the majority.  Rather than making everyone feel good by trying to meet the lowest common denominator in all that is said or done, we could gain far more by focusing on the development of strengths rather than holding back our leaders until the followers catch up.

Schools have elevated “self-esteem” to one of the more important aspects of a student’s education, wanting students to feel better about their self-concept than about what they can accomplish.  An elementary teacher once said it was her job to make everyone an equal contributor to the classes’ success – leaving nobody behind.  While there is immense value in helping those who do not understand, perhaps the system should provide help to those that need it without holding back those that might be able to perform at a higher level.  Having seen some of the work students perform today only reinforces the need for transformation.  Little attention is paid to proper spelling (“spell check” will handle that) and basic math concepts are not emphasized enough in the lower grades (“that is what calculators are for”).  Some high school teachers retest multiple times (allowing students to study their test so the right answers can be found) in an effort to have students pass rather than focusing on their learning.  In sporting events, schools tend to focus on the equality of playing time (regardless of an athlete’s ability), effort and sportsmanship rather than on winning.  In moderation, these are not bad concepts.  In practice, however, our future leaders are being rewarded for simply trying rather than for actually achieving.

Business often tends to reward “the masses” through the application of inconsistent employment policies and practices.  Many employers avoid confrontation by giving performance reviews that establish “average” work as being proficient.  Giving an “across the board” pay increase minimizes friction but rewards mediocrity.  Adjusting an employee’s work schedule to “meet their situation” does not necessarily address their inability to show up on time or work as needed to accomplish the job.  We tend to reward the good that people bring to the organization but ignore their negative characteristics until they become more hurtful to the group than they are helpful – at which time it is often too late to salvage any positive value.  Allowing everyone to participate in each decision-making process is a noble intention – but the tactic could cause unnecessary delay or the adoption of workable solutions that may be popular but not the best possible.

Our fervor to make people “feel good” often removes the motivation for individuals to achieve their full potential.  In order to constructively establish and maintain an individual’s self-esteem – whether in business, education or personal relationships – we should always try to create situations that maximize the chances of another’s success if we wish to reward and build upon results.  Things that often stand in the way of recognizing accomplishment include:

1. Rewarding efforts, good intentions, hard work and/or the willingness to accept new responsibilities
   
   rather than the actual work accomplished
2. Placing unqualified individuals into a positions they want or think they can handle without providing the tools required to accomplish their new expectations – a move often made to reward an individual’s past performance that will potentially breed frustration and failure
3. Praising an individual for “trying hard,” hoping that such attention will encourage better performance down the road.  In reality, recognizing effort as a result tends to establish progress (rather than results) as the driver of success
4. Providing equal pay adjustments to all rather than paying for individual performance in an attempt to minimize confrontation with employees.  “Across the board” pay adjustments actually help to retain under-qualified workers (who may not be able to achieve elsewhere) by rewarding mediocrity while demotivating high achievers (who can easily find recognition from someone else)
5. Treating all people the same in any given situation or expressed expectation.  Each of us have unique and individual skills, abilities, aptitudes, attitudes, strengths and weakness – to maximize contributions we must recognize our differences
6. Distancing ourselves from all associations with failure rather than acknowledging and recognizing them while growing from the experience.  When we live upon a pedestal – whether intended or inconsequential – we spend so much time and effort maintaining the expectations of others that we have little left to bring to fruition our own realities

Some would say that a good self-concept breeds success.  I would offer that success creates a good self-concept.  We have been told that students (and workers) need to work as equals within teams to accomplish anything.  I would offer that all teams need a leader – a collector of ideas or champion – to accomplish change.  We have been told that rewarding the process will enhance creativity, thereby minimizing the fear of failure.  I would offer that rewarding accomplishment, while constructively addressing sub-standard effort, fosters creativity and encourages risk-taking behavior that can eliminate the fear of failure.  Some might say that failure should be avoided at all cost – that we should catch others before they fall so they can focus on all things positive rather than having to face negative consequences.  I would offer that seeing failure as a new beginning rather than an end result allows us to achieve much (Edison never failed while inventing the light bulb – he simply refined his attempts by recognizing why something did not work and correcting it until he reached a satisfactory conclusion).  Some say that individuals involved in a relationship must contribute equally to its success or it will fail.  I would offer that each individual must contribute equitably – based on their individual strengths and abilities – and the ability (or inability) to communicate expectations, hopes, dreams and desires predicates failure more than equal contribution to results.

Which is more critical – self-esteem or success?  This “chicken or the egg coming first” conundrum has been around since the beginning of time.  While we should acknowledge the work needed to achieve results, we must reward successful outcomes.  Rather than praising each attempt – regardless of its significance – sustainable self-esteem emerges when we reward accomplishment.  All organizations need willing and capable team members, good interpersonal relationships, and an adaptive learning environment BUT they also need leadership.  We should recognize and support effort but NEVER should it be rewarded at the expense of results!

TRICK OR TREAT – Do YOU Hide Behind a Mask of Mediocrity?

People are sometimes “marginally competent” when their benchmark is the work and results of others rather than the goals and expectations they establish for themselves.  People living a life of “good enough” or “better than another” usually meet their minimum expectations but do not excel in what they do – often disappointing themselves as much as they do those depending upon them.  Unfortunately, many individuals hide behind a mask of mediocrity by trying to be better than others (or have more than someone else, or do something faster than another) because our society has come to rewards efforts rather than results – to praise “beginnings” rather than recognizing successful  “ends.”  In order to realize our full potential we must discard the masks we wear to hide our insecurities, apprehensions and fears of being “different” so that others can accept us for who we are (rather than for what we think they might wish us to become).
 
People are often identified as being capable of “growing into” something they have not yet become, accepting the recognition of potential as being the end of a journey rather than the beginning of a new adventure.  Unless an individual is given time to develop (and tools to help them succeed), they are often incapable of transforming their current reality into a potential future state.  Until we recognize what we wish to become (through our own individual efforts) we will be nothing more than an empty vessel hiding behind the mask of another’s expectations.  When we cover-up our deficiencies by adding others into a “performance mix” for comparative purposes, our justifications mask our role of “pretender.”   We shift the responsibility for results onto the overburdened shoulders of achievers – competent individuals who WILL seek recognition elsewhere for their contributions if is not fully and freely provided within their current world.
 
Whenever we avoid competency issues rather than resolving them, we “mask” our problems without eliminating them.  We reward effort and intent but compromise our expectations for positive results each time
we accept a “mask of good intentions” rather than looking behind it to see what talent (and desire) truly exists.  We may accept children hiding behind masks and costumes knocking on our doors calling out “Trick or Treat” but should not allow ourselves to live within a world that encourages and rewards similar efforts without accomplishments or results.  When we portray ourselves to be something we are not, we may be able to fool those freely distributing meaningless rewards but will not be able to transform our lives into what they could be until we learn our lessons from failure – until we leap forward after falling back.  When we accept others at “face value” without investing anything into them, we can expect to receive back what we have invested – nothing of value.
 
Children hide behind a variety of masks at Halloween while seeking treats in an effort to camouflage their identities from those around them.  Acceptable child-like behavior, however, should not set the course we find ourselves following.  If we consciously and intentionally seek to become something not yet realized or achieved – to become what we WISH to be rather than being what others might accept as being acceptable – we will celebrate true success.  Unlimited possibilities abound when reality is set free as extraordinary investment ALWAYS provides an exceptional return.
 

Do not give yourself the choice to accept mediocrity in life – expect “treats” rather than “tricks” by seeking the tools and support necessary for them to become a reality.  Acknowledge, accept and reveal yourself to those around you – refusing to accept anything less than your all or reaching lower than the sky.  You can achieve your full potential ONLY when you remove the mask (that is so tempting to hide behind) and quit pretending to be something you are not.  Then, and only then, will you be able to bring to fruition all that you could be – to realize the dream of an unrestricted, uninhibited and unmasked future as you move from “pretender” to “contender” within this race we call life.

EMBRACING CHANGE

Their aimless wanderings lay behind them…
     Their paths weaving desperately through the wilderness…
          Coming near then veering away…never quite crossing or becoming one.  
They stood at a crossroads…
     Looking back in an attempt to see how their lives had unfolded...
          Looking ahead towards a future not yet defined.
Increasingly tired of their struggles within a thankless world…
     They sought a path that would lead towards truth…
          An obscure trail that would carry them to a brighter future...  
Deliberately they turned, moving forward into the vast unknown…
     Leaving behind the comfort and security their past once held…
          Intentionally embarking upon a path that would change their lives forever…
                    An excerpt from Life’s Path to the Promise of a Dream, a book of poems by Dave Smith

Why do people seek change?  What makes us decide to do things differently – particularly if the things we are doing provide us comfort or bring us success?  What makes us wander from “the familiar” in search of unknown opportunities?   With summer’s passing and a new, hectic fall upon us, we all tend to seek different ways of doing things - resolving to change in ways that will allow us more free time, success or tangible rewards.

Several factors come into play as we move beyond “where we are” to “where we might wish to be.”  We must recognize that before we can move from “what we have” to “what we hope for,” one journey must end before another can begin – that before we can wrestle with new opportunities we must free ourselves from the constraints (and restrictions) of the old.  We must acknowledge that before we can take a new path to an unknown destination we must abandon the old and familiar roads that have taken us safely to the places in which we have found comfort.  All change begins with the deliberate consideration of an intentional action

that, if acted upon, will forever alter where we are as it redefines where we are going (one cannot do the same things they have always done and expect different results).

Success often follows change.  When we are able to produce results that were previously thought to be impossible by doing things not previously considered, those around us often view us as being “successful.” Everyone desires success BUT an individual must work to accomplish something not yet done, dreamed of or considered if he or she seeks to claim the results as a personal achievement.  We cannot grant success to another because it is different for everyone – one person’s idea about a “logical conclusion” could be another’s definition of a “good starting point.”  Unless (and until) we determine where we wish to “end” our journey, it is difficult to know how far we have come (or if, indeed, we have even begun to initiate a transition).  Holding on to past success, however – riding a single success beyond its effective lifespan by thinking “our way” is the only way – will almost always force us to change (by revealing the shortcomings of our established approach) or disrupt our stagnant but comfortable existence (by offering a more exciting option).

We must actively appraise the things we do if we wish to remain vibrant and relevant.  By continuously analyzing our strengths and weaknesses – leveraging those that pull us forward while addressing those that hold us back – we will remain effective.  Recognizing that the only constant in life is change will allow us to accept the possibility of failure (and the learning it brings).  Success does not come, however, from frantic movement without direction or purpose - we must intentionally stop what we are doing if we wish to start something else!  To initiate change (and achieve PERSONAL success), we must intentionally address three major issues:

• WE MUST ACT by acknowledging where we have been, recognizing what we have done, and wishing to be (or achieve) something different before we can start travelling upon a new path.  How can we better serve our customers?  What can we do to improve a relationship?  Must we alter our behavior so that we can remain relevant within a changing world?  When our goals change we must step from our original path onto a new (perhaps uncharted) trail – must leave our comfortable surroundings in search of a new place of shelter – if we are to achieve success through refocused and redirected efforts.
• WE MUST STOP DOING THE THINGS WE HAVE ALWAYS DONE – no matter how effective they may have been in the past – if we seek something different results.  While identifying what must be done to create meaningful change, paths (and methods) needing abandonment will inevitably be revealed, but they will not lead us anywhere until we choose to step forward.  Can a worker that values time off from work (new life balance issues) be effectively disciplined with suspension (old “rules are rules” mentality)?  Can an individual communicate effectively without embracing technology and learning how to “entertain” using Power Point?  Can two people maintain a meaningful relationship if neither is willing to “walk a mile” in the other’s shoes – or to talk about what the other might need?
• WE MUST IDENTIFY AND ABANDON THE THINGS THAT HOLD US BACK while we continue doing things that initiate change (while producing growth).  We all have personal strengths – characteristics responsible for the successes we have achieved.  Everyone can celebrate a “peak of accomplishment” in their past but far too many choose to dwell within the quiet valleys surrounding their peak rather than seeking new heights that rise all around them.  In order to realize meaningful change we must continue doing the things that brought us to our heights while discarding those that bring us to our knees.  We must seek alternative paths that will lead us forward rather than continuing to fall back upon the “safe roads” that lead to places (activities and relationships) we have already achieved or established.

People must change more than their outward appearance if they expect their path to shift significantly.  We often hear about “new and improved” products only to find nothing but the packaging has changed. Television networks frequently move a failing show from one night to another in order to gain viewers from a less competitive offering.  If we are resolved to change we must consciously decide NOT to “stay the course” by intentionally seeking a new path into an unknown wilderness.  While we must acknowledge our past (both the wins and the losses) before we can define our present (from which we must move forward) if we harbor any expectation of creating a different future, we must choose to move from the safety that our current situation provides if we are to experience anything new.

ACCOMPLISH MORE BY LEADING (RATHER THAN CONTROLLING) OTHERS

Great leaders develop practices and communicate expectations that allow them to manage fairly and consistently as they motivate people to contribute their proportionate share towards the success of the team or the stability of relationships.  Unfortunately, there are many insecure and unprepared leaders seeking to claim all of the “gain” while accepting none of the “blame.”  The road to success is not a highway built by a single individual – rather it is a precarious path paved with the sacrifice and hard work of a team allowing individuals to share both setbacks and successes as they grow together towards the accomplishment of a goal.

We maximize the potential for success when a group develops and discusses mutually beneficial objectives then takes the actions necessary to bring them to fruition (leveraging their strengths while compensating for their individual deficiencies).  Poorly thought-out initiatives, reactions without consideration of repercussions and a general misdirection of otherwise worthwhile effort will result in failure.  A successful leader determines a direction, communicates a potential course of action then monitors progress – stepping in to redirect effort only when necessary.  In order to accomplish much with others, a leader must:

• BE ACTIVELY ENGAGED IN BUILDING APPROPRIATE RELATIONSHIPS.  Successful leaders are actively involved in making the decisions that affect themselves, those around them and/or their families.  Poor leaders often allow others to direct their actions (then complain when things do not progress as they might have wished).  Good leaders make decisions then move forward while monitoring progress so a detour does not become a dead end.  Poor leaders lose track of the “big picture” while making isolated decisions – tending to live within silos rather than on an operational farm.  While a stated objective becomes our final destination, the relationships and decisions we make build the path upon which we will travel.  How you lead (or relate to others) ultimately determines whom you lead (or are in relationship with).
• DELEGATE RESPONSIBILITY AND AUTHORITY TO THOSE AROUND YOU.  Good leaders analyze strengths when assigning projects to maximize the potential for successful resolution – they recognize what others can (and cannot) do, then work within those parameters to optimize the chances of success.  If an individual has the ability to perform a task, knows when it must be completed, and is not overloaded with interfering assignments, much will be accomplished IF the leader avoids micro-managing activities while remaining available for questions and monitoring progress.  Individuals must have the desire and feel the need to contribute – must feel empowered to identify alternative actions and enabled to act independently – before they will risk failure (or taste success).
• ACCEPT THAT FAILURE IS AN EXCELLENT TEACHING TOOL.  Far too many leaders feel that “winning at any cost” is the only way to be successful.  While winning more often than not is desirable, if an individual never makes a mistake he or she will not know how to deal with adversity.  Repeated failure should never be tolerated but if an individual can learn from a mistake – which is not dangerous, destructive or damaging to the organization’s (or the individual’s) reputation or ability to perform – embrace the shortcoming (rather than hiding it) and move beyond it (rather than dwelling within it).
• DEAL WITH ISSUES PROMPTLY AND APPROPRIATELY.  If something needs correcting and discipline is required, administer it specifically and immediately.  If an individual does something exceptionally well, celebrate as soon as possible.  It is important to stop (or clone) the behavior rather than avoiding or ignoring it.  Address and discuss issues that bother you BEFORE they become insurmountable.  One will not create mutually beneficial relationships if “everything is always wrong” and “nothing is ever right” in the actions, attitudes or behaviors of others.  Focus on modifying the behavior to achieve different results rather than addressing the individual and expecting personality change. 

Good leaders publicly celebrate success loudly while privately whispering (specifically and directly) about

failure.  They analyze themselves to identify their strengths (which they leverage towards a common good) and their weaknesses (which they work hard to strengthen OR minimize by leveraging another’s gifts).  A good leader may or may not be “a friend,” but must ALWAYS be seen as fair and consistent.  We must establish decision-making skills that allow us to act in a predictable and reasonable manner if we wish to become effective – which, if done by example rather than through edict – will allow us to accomplish great things with others.

RECOGNIZING AND REALIZING SUCCESS

Some would define success as “having arrived” at a final destination. Others measure success through the progress they make while working towards the accomplishment of a challenge.  Whether you consider “success” to be a destination or the journey towards a conclusion, it entails inspiration (to identify what could be), deliberation (to consider the benefits AND the ramifications of change) and transformation (intentional action to initiate change) to be realized.

Success is not defined by what (or how much) we do nor by where we end up in comparison with where we began.  Success measures both what we accomplish AND what we have been able to learn from our experiences along the way.  Simply being busy – or doing things – does not guarantee success.  We must perform with purpose – moving towards defined objectives – to experience success.

Success is not a measure of what (or how much) one has but rather of what (or how much) one has invested to attain it.  Success is not something that can be granted, bestowed or declared by others – it is an accomplishment or series of planned activities that, when internalized by an individual as being significant to him- or herself, results in the proclamation of achievement through words, actions or attitudes.

Does a child hurt (and cry) less if falling when nobody is watching than if someone rushes to provide comfort

and care?  Is their crying more the result of an action (a fall) OR an action seeking results (comfort to counteract the fall)?  Do we learn more from the fall or from the comfort received from another because we fell? If a tree falls in the forest with nobody near to hear it, is there sound?  Is noise a consequence of waves received or the result of waves generated – a process or a product?  Is success achieved because a series of actions culminates in the accomplishment of a goal OR is the growth experienced as we initiate and work through the actions themselves a better barometer of success?

Rather than striving to achieve success, perhaps it would be better if we invested our talents and abilities to seek achievement, allowing our actions to create success.  Rather than seeking recognition, praise or notoriety we should recognize (and accept) that we will become “significant” when our efforts are recognized by others, attracting the attention they deserve.
 

In life, success typically breeds more success (NEVER being content to rest upon its laurels) while uncorrected or unresolved failure perpetuates continued failings (unless or until something happens to break the pattern of non-achievement).  Celebrate the successes you achieve but do not rest upon (or within) the past or your achievements will become your ceiling rather than your floor.  Success follows our opening up new chapters in life rather than from our closing old ones – from our initiating new beginnings rather than from resting within old ends.  ONLY when we reach for the stars – stretching beyond what can be easily attained – we will experience success.  Only when we EXPERIENCE success will it become real.

EXPERIENCE UNLIMITED POSSIBILITIES BY AVOIDING THE BLAME GAME

Leadership emerges during times of trouble, turmoil and strife.  It had been said that anyone can manage during good times – that even a “blind squirrel can find a nut once in a while” – but what do YOU do when the going gets tough?  While there should be very little difference in your leadership style (whether at work or at home) when you face unexpected hurdles, far too many “competent” individuals excuse their own actions by blaming or deferring to others.  Seeking short term-gain (popularity, acceptance, being “liked” by others) often damages long-term credibility when “it was not my fault” is the immediate response to every issue, problem or concern that faces us.  In that we are all human, however, we are bound to fall into the “credibility exchange” trap.

Examples of “decision deferral” and “blame game mastery” exist everywhere we look.  The Government tends to shift blame rather than assuming ownership of most situations – and (sadly) the American People tend to accept that transfer as being acceptable.  The current Administration blames our past President for creating the crisis in care within the Veteran’s Administration because when we began the war in Iraq during the past presidency we did not anticipate the increased need for care so “it is not our fault” that there are more veterans in need than there are providers to care for them. Our past State administration blamed the previous governing body for our financial woes – then took credit for any gains by claiming that the turnaround was a result of implementing initiatives started during their time in office.  Rare is the politician who will say, “It does not matter who caused the situation – we must work together to identify the root cause of the problem so we can concentrate on its resolution rather than focusing on fault.”

On a personal level, individuals within failing (or suffering) relationships often blame others on their “position in life,” think “if only something else had happened differently, I would be in a different place,” or simply walk away rather than assuming part of the blame.  Many people feel vulnerable when they accepting blame rather than shift it to others.  “It is not MY fault!” is far easier to say than “I am sorry – I was wrong.”  An apology should be the beginning of a new direction rather than the end of a poor choice.  It is not a conclusion – it is a fresh start.  Too many people feel they need to avoid all appearance of being “human” (making mistakes, expressing doubt, changing a direction should the conditions change) if they want to be respected –that “being right” trumps “being real” when it comes to relationships.

At work, many examples of responsibility shift exist.  Seemingly competent managers sometimes tell staff to
“look busy” because “top management” is out to cut staff and “we don’t want that to happen to us” when orders begin to drop.  By building a bond of mutual fear with staff, these managers avoid the “blame bullet” but will never become leaders.  Rather than becoming part of the solution their deferral of responsibility has made them an unexpected part of the problem. A leader will “take the bull by the horns” and face reality by confirming that things are tough (staff probably already knows this), telling them that something must happen to change the current situation (insanity is doing things the same way expecting different results), and painting a realistic picture of what might happen unless an alternative is identified.  It does not really matter WHO is to blame or WHY the situation currently exists (if, indeed, it was the fault of another).  What DOES matter is what will (or can) be done to move from where we are (regardless of why we are there) to where we want to be.

Life is not a paved highway that provides us one clear path to a known destination – it is a winding road offering many alternatives. Unless (and until) we move forward, we will fall back (or be run over by others as they rush ahead).  When we wait for (and ultimately accept) the solution of others we give away our ability to define our own destiny.  We forfeit the right to share any of “the fame” (but often hold onto the desire to isolate and transfer “the blame”).  Blame is situational – life is transactional.  Avoiding (or accepting) the obvious does not create change – it fosters complacency. Assigning fault excuses our condition – accepting responsibility and seeking resolution initiates change.   If we wait for things to happen to us (or expect someone else to lead us from where we are), our choices become obvious and our results limited to a narrow set of defined (and predictable) outcomes.  If, however, we react and respond to situations rather than planning and anticipating (or blaming and excusing) – we will find our lives full of unpredictable moments that reveal to us unlimited potential leading to undefined (and unexpected) possibilities.