AVOIDING COMMON LEADERSHIP SHORTCOMINGS

Most books about leadership portray the stellar qualities and personality traits individuals have leveraged to bring them success with the expectation that others having the desire but not yet exhibiting the ability can emulate their thoughts and actions to create similar success.  Many of these books rail to recognize that knowledge alone does not guarantee success.  Only when we APPLY our knowledge to change an unacceptable situation by systematically identifying and eliminating those things keeping us from success (then replacing them with transformational thoughts and actions that create and establish alternative behaviors) will an environment that provides the opportunity to succeed be established.  Few “management experts” address the small, commonsense, practical things that often lead to management failure – thoughts, actions or characteristics that MUST be avoided if we are to realize our full potential.  Some of the mistakes a manager often makes that virtually GUARANTEES failure (yet seems to repeat expecting different results) would include:

Mistake #1:     PEOPLE COME TO THE JOB FULLY EQUIPPED TO PERFORM, ABSORBING AND IMPLEMENTING NEW IDEAS AS THEY GAIN EXPERIENCE, SO THERE IS NO NEED TO BUDGET FOR OR INVEST IN TRAINING. 

Successful managers take the time to hone and develop their people.  Individuals perform better when they have a high self –concept – knowing they are fully equipped to perform any job that is assigned.  Managers of excellence recognize that elevating the skills of those working for them will enhance their own ability to contribute more to their organization (and realize the rewards of growth).  Individuals working for you should be capable of assuming more than their basic job responsibilities so that you have time to seek new challenges.  Unless (and until) a Leader’s work can be done by another – the basic aspects and expectations accomplished so that unexpected results can be shown – very little growth will be realized and success will be limited to what is being done rather than expanded to what might be possible.

Mistake #2:     SINCE EMPLOYEES TALK ABOUT THEIR PAY INCREASES ANYWAY, IF ALL EMPLOYEES ARE TREATED EQUALLY THEY WILL NOT COMPLAIN AND WILL FOCUS ON THEIR WORK.  THE BEST WAY TO AVOID CONFRONTATION IS TO GIVE “ACROSS THE BOARD” PAY INCREASES, PROVIDE EQUAL BONUSES AND GENERALLY TREAT ALL EMPLOYEES THE SAME.

Treating everyone the same will result in everyone BEING the same.  All organizations need people to “do” and perform BUT must also identify, encourage and retain leaders, dreamers, visionaries and risk-takers to propose new and untested pathways that create safe passage to previously unconsidered destinations and rewards.  Successful managers will reward excellence rather than celebrating mediocrity – identifying and recognizing individuals and their specific contributions to the greater good rather than defaulting to the “easy” way to go.  Treating all employees the same tends to encourage those who can truly contribute to take their talents elsewhere, leaving behind only those who are happy to receive good money for producing adequate (but average) results.  Nobody has ever ascended the corporate ladder while being weighted down by an anchor.  One must climb from a solid base of support in order to grow. 

Mistake #3:     CRITICIZE INDIVIDUALS WHENEVER YOU CAN – IT BUILDS CHARACTER AND ELEVATES YOU IN THE EYES OF OTHERS WHEN THEY SEE YOU ARE BETTER AND/OR MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE PEOPLE YOU LEAD. 

Finding out who caused a major loss and addressing him/her publicly may serve to make sure that a mistake is not repeated – and the example will help to make sure that nobody else will make a similar mistake – but what is really gained by addressing the individual WITHOUT correcting the action that caused the problem?  We tend to protect and insulate people from the repercussions of their actions far too often in our “politically correct” lives, making excuses for them or forgiving them without consequence.  While people learn from their mistakes, they must be given the tools and the opportunity to change their behavior if they are to become the foundation of an organization’s success.  Weak managers critique and criticize – effective managers identify root causes and provide tools that minimize the chances of reoccurrence.  Good leaders NEVER attack the offender NOR do they ignore the offense.

Mistake #4:       REST UPON THE RESULTS OF YOUR SUCCESS.

Life is not static – it is a continuum of change.  The sun rises and sets each day.  Life begins and ends.  Relationships come and go.  Managers who expect their accomplishments to withstand the test of time without moving forward – viewing their successes as destinations rather than steps along the road to success – will be forgotten as quickly as their contributions fade or their successes are equaled by another.  Great leaders never accept the status quo as being sufficient – they seek to expand it.  They never accept “good enough” as adequate.  They see today’s end as tomorrow’s beginning – leveraging what has been finished as the starting point for what has yet to be accomplished rather than accepting it as an temporary pause within an ongoing concentric story.  While good things may come to those who wait, successful leaders often create their own future by acting in ways that are noticed by others – their results gaining them recognition without having to raise their own banner inviting praise.  

A leader’s success in not measured by what he or she is able to accomplish alone but rather by how much can be accomplished through the power of the team.  Leaders lead – plain and simple.  Unless (and until) the individual talent within an organization works together for the “common good,” creating a unified solution that is exponentially better than any individual’s singular contribution, goodness may be achieved but greatness will be allusive. 

I recently published PATHWAYS AND PASSAGES TO LEADERSHIP, a book encouraging and supporting leadership excellence by helping individuals:

·         Identify and achieve success

·         Proactively anticipate and work through change

·         Accept the responsibilities of leadership, and

·         Recognize the need for life and relationships outside of work.

Available on Amazon or through Barnes & Noble, Pathways and Passages to Leadership (by David J. Smith) identifies pathways (through pictures) that will provide safe passage (in words) through life’s challenges and opportunities.

LIVE LIFE THROUGH THE EYES OF YOUR "INNER CHILD"

As summer returns, we are filled with the hopes of warm (but not too hot) days, peaceful nights lit by the flickering of fireflies, the sounds of laughter upon our plentiful Michigan beaches and a bit more free time to enjoy the environment in which we live.  If only life could remain as simple as our seemingly endless vacations portrayed it to be when we were young.  Perhaps we make life more difficult than it needs to be because we have abandoned some of the lessons we learned while running carelessly along a sandy shoreline – that if we were to look at life through our “inner child’s eyes” we might be able to accept things as they are while seeking what they could be rather than dwelling upon what went wrong or could never be accomplished.

As a child, dreams are built with and upon shifting sands.  Children spend hours building intricate castles upon the shore only to have them swept away in an instant by the tide – or plowed over during an impromptu game of football on the sand.  Though the fruits of their labor are washed out to sea or destroyed by an uncontrolled act, children tend to pick up the pieces quickly and rebuild their dreams as if they had never been taken from them.  Why is it that as we become older (and more experienced) we worry so much about WHY our efforts failed and what we might have been able to accomplish IF ONLY our dreams had not been squashed rather than moving on like a child to recapture the magic and make our efforts even more productive?  Much could be learned from rebounding like a child – from drawing a line in the sand as we move forward rather than trying to draw a boundary to keep others away from our creations.

“A line in the sand” can initiate a plethora of new beginnings for a child.  Asking someone to step over a line in the sand can be either an act of acceptance or an invitation to aggression.  It can be either a new beginning or the beginning of an end.  Drawing a line in the sand often implies that things are about to begin fresh with no holding on to unpleasant memories UNLESS we use it to isolate our belongings or represent a wall around us within a milling sea of humanity.  The pure innocence of acceptance is often lost as we age.  Adults often talk about drawing a line in the sand but rarely empty the memories and concerns that weigh them down like a millstone around their necks.  If our actions could return to those of a child – accepting another for what he or she is (rather than for what we remember or wish them to be), for how they act (rather than how we think they might act based on their past performances) and for what they seek to become as they cross the line (rather than what they may have been before it was drawn) – perhaps then we could truly “draw our lines in the sand” and move forward rather than continually falling back or holding on to things long past rather than seeking those yet to come.

While walking along the shore a child will find many lost and forgotten objects floating upon the waters – learning at a young age that one person’s waste can become the basis for another’s wonderment – that something considered to be trash by one can, with a little imagination, be another’s treasure.  The clutter left upon the shore at the end of the day tends to be gathered up by swarms of gulls during the evening, swept away by the pounding surf at night, then scavenged by early-rising treasure seekers in the early morning.  By the time afternoon comes, even the most cluttered beach has returned to its pristine splendor.  We need to recognize that even the biggest mess we can make in life will be swept clean over time – and that good will usually emerge from our failures UNLESS we dwell upon the loss rather than seeking the potential gains..

Children dream of what they might want to become “when they grow up” then engage in play that (they believe) will bring their dreams to fruition.  They do not grasp on to one destination nor activity, however, moving from doctor to policeman to nurse to teacher (though I’ve never heard of a child dreaming to go into Human Resources…imagine that!) – seeking to expand their horizons by stimulating their minds.  As adults, far too many wish to ESCAPE what they have and who they are during vacation rather than attempting to ENHANCE their careers (lives or accomplishments) or “recharging their batteries” so that they can return to their chosen occupation refreshed and ready to thrive.  As you seek to accomplish your dreams during the coming year, recognize that forces outside of your control may take them from you, as a child’s castle may be swept to sea, before they are fulfilled BUT the same forces that could be seen as destroying your dreams are working to provide a pristine surface upon which you can begin your travels anew.  Rather than dwelling upon your hardships of life, embrace the opportunities you have been given to chart a fresh path upon life’s shifting sands. 

As you look forward to summer this year – to enjoying time with family and friends while drawing your line firmly upon life’s shifting sands, remember that such an act can represent two perspectives.  You can either reflect upon what you have done and who you are OR you can relentlessly rebuild what was accomplished before being washed out to sea – seeking what has yet to materialize rather than dwelling upon what has passed.  Refuse to accept defeat when your castles are swept away – rebuild them!  Seek what may be found upon the deserted morning beach while continuously moving forward towards your future rather than taking refuge upon a seemingly safe shelter upon a continuously shifting shore. 

A child learns quickly that those who linger too long on the beach without moving tend to get burned (a lesson many adults forget) and gives meaning to life by seeking to fulfill their dreams (rather than blindly running from their reality).  Live your life through the eyes of a child this summer – seeking the pleasure (rather than the pain) and the possible (instead of accepting that which has already been proven real) in whatever you say or do.

TO SUCCEED WE MUST ASSUME SUCCESS

Why are some people invigorated by a seemingly insurmountable task while others seem paralyzed by the same situation?   Why do some automatically defer to “I can’t…” rather than stating “I won’t…” or “I’d prefer not to…” do something?  Some see the opportunity to make progress towards the completion of a project while others shut down unless they see an immediate conclusion well within their reach.   Other than the obvious propensity towards taking risks, there are two underlying characteristics differentiating the two attitudes – the ability to question “why not?” before acting rather than needing to understand “why” before formulating a plan and moving forward and the acceptance that failure is a learning experience rather than a stopping point.

Everyone comes to a fork in the road – a decision point that forever changes what they have done, redirecting all efforts and activities towards the accomplishment of what they have yet to become (and often what they have not yet imagined possible).  Many attempt to “define” this moment through resolutions to change but find that shifting directions is a process rather than an event.  We cannot “will” ourselves to eliminate years of bad habits in one moment – it takes time to undo what we often do to ourselves.  “If only…” as an excuse will never replace “what is…” within reality for we justify poor decisions by sidestepping responsibility for inadequate results by looking to what might have happened “if only” we had acted differently, we lose sight of the reality “that is” and may accept a less than desirable outcome as “good enough.”  Dwelling upon things NOT accomplished will never initiate change – it only reinforces your limitations (rather than leveraging or celebrating your abilities).   

Some individuals act in accordance with established policy, practice or procedure whether or not that may be the best way to do something.  A member recently mentioned that they wanted to “promote” an administrator into Human Resources because they were so “black and white” in their thinking that “compliance” would come easily to her.  The problem with their initial thought was that this individual MAY have been detailed and unwavering BUT employees feared her, she NEVER smiled and ALWAYS did things the way they had always been done.  We proposed offering the employee an opportunity to access tools that might help her succeed (TEA’s HR Certification Series) – an opportunity to safely learn about the responsibilities and “grey” world of Human Resources before embarking upon that road as a career choice (the Manager in this case was a Finance person doing HR work so compliance was the litmus upon which she based success).  Others constantly question what they are asked to do as a means to test and temper the validity of an action prior to its being taken thinking “what good does it do to advance an idea unless it makes a difference?” but delay their “call to action” by focusing on whether or not their action might be accepted rather than on whether it might produce a superior result.  One will never experience their full potential by seeking comfort within a world defined by other’s expectations, experiences or proven success.  Life is not a spectator sport – it requires careful consideration, intelligent planning and intentional action.  Most successful individuals establish basic tenants they use to hold themselves accountable for their decisions and actions.  While everyone lives by some set of values and ethics, some of the rules that provide the “highest return on investment” would include the following:

• It is OK to make a mistake BUT we must learn from our errors and move forward so that we do not repeat the same mistake.  It is OK to make a wrong decision (unless we decide to act we will never move from where we are) but we should utilize them as springboards propelling us forward rather than anchors holding us in place.
• Focus on things you can control.  Identify obstacles that are within your sphere of influence and actively seek to eliminate whatever hurdles you can by giving them to someone who has the ability to influence them.
• Lying, cheating, or stealing is intolerable.  If you are the best performer or individual with the highest results - but those results came through dishonesty or at someone else’s expense - you will not be respected, considered credible NOR working or participating in an ongoing relationship for very long.
• Results are recognized – effort is merely a means to the end.  Do not seek praise for working hard or contributing greatly – let recognition come your way through the results your effort achieved.  
• All individuals may speak, question, and have a voice in any decision but that does not mean all votes are equal.  Life is not a democracy.  Input is valued but an individual responsible for the ultimate success of any endeavor must – and will - make the final decision.  Do not confuse “equal” with “equitable” as you seek to identify and establish new resting points from which you can leap forward as you seek change and success.  
• There is nothing that “cannot be done.”  While some solutions may not be cost-effective, or are simply impractical or beyond our ability to implement, “I can’t,” “It’s not possible,” and other self-condemning attitudes are not acceptable.  Do not avoid discussing the reasons behind “I won’t…” by defaulting to “I can’t…”

Well thought-out solutions to issues you may encounter while doing your job (or during life in general) are not reasons for celebration, they are simply expectations of the way you should continually exhibit and utilize your abilities.  Much can be accomplished when we leverage and build upon our experiences rather than accepting that something “COULD have been accomplished IF ONLY we had not run out of time.”   Seeking “what has yet to happen” provides a firmer foundation upon which to build than does “Why try?"  When we quit caring who receives the credit and begin to focus on how we can ALL gain from the results, much can be accomplished.

CREATING (OR ALLOWING) BEHAVIORAL CHANGE

This posting is an excerpt from the recently published PATHWAYS AND PASSAGES TO LEADERSHIP available through Amazon.  Thank you for following, commenting and encouraging the publication of passages from Dave’s Deliberations and may you find pathways through life that take you to places you never dreamed possible.

There are three ways we can try to change another’s behavior.  We can order someone to change, enforcing the altered behavior with penalties or threats (coercion).  We can provide a reward or some other external recognition that is of value to them should they change (motivation).  We can provide a path that will make them a better person or allow them to be something different than they are (inspiration).  Whether in a business or personal relationship – or any role in which we find ourselves interacting with another in order to accomplish a single objective – positive and meaningful change results from an intentional action (even if one intentionally decides not to act) rather than an accidental happenstance.

Supervisors often coerce individuals to change.  They issue orders, give directions and tell people what to do (and often how to do it).  Theirs can often be a world having few opportunities for independent action so they provide even fewer chances for people they supervise to act independently.  While supervision IS (thankfully) changing, many individuals leading work that can be accomplished without much training or preparation spend much of their time assigning work, reviewing processes and measuring results, leaving little time to invest on motivating or influencing altered behavior.  Rather than asking or laying the groundwork for change, they direct and monitor activities so they can achieve on a personal level but often negate individuality when coercing change.  In personal relationships, individuals who coerce others often tear them down to build themselves up, focusing on “what went wrong” rather than celebrating “what went well.”  Coercive individuals tend to get what they want but may get ONLY what they want, with their gains being short term and of limited value.  Telling someone how to do something produces quick and focused activity but rarely the best possible results.

Managers often motivate individuals to change.  They identify alternatives, provide choices and give people reasons that make them want to alter their behavior.  When combined with punishment for not changing, motivation can be a powerful means of producing results.  The problem with motivation, however, is that an external force must initiate the change.  In a working relationship, a manager often identifies what is best for all involved parties then initiates action by spelling out what will happen if change does not occur (coercion) but also what will happen should favorable change occur (motivating the alteration).  As long as a manager is present to identify a suspect behavior and provide reason to change, good things will happen. Rarely, however, will an employee used to constant motivation see the need to change unless they continue to receive external impetus.  Much can be accomplished when individuals are motivated to change – the problem with motivation, however, is that an object at rest (or an individual whom is content to do what he or she is doing) tends to remain at rest (or doing what has proven to be comfortable).  Until one is convinced that they must change their behavior if they are to receive different results, they will not experience growth.

Leaders inspire others to change.  Rather than telling people what must be done they show individuals a better way.  Rather than dwelling upon an individual’s negative behavior they reward positive efforts.  Leaders paint a picture of “what if” or “what could be” rather than one of “what is” or “what will always be.”  A leader makes people want to change in order to achieve something they wish to have, accomplish or become.  Inspirational change goes beyond telling (coercion) and past selling (motivation) – it leads another towards self-actualization.  Inspiration causes people to see why changes should take place, creating an internal desire to abandon who they are to become what awaits them.  Inspirational change is often caused by one’s desire to “be like” another or to achieve what someone else has accomplished – to make oneself (or another) proud of their actions.  In a personal relationship, inspirational leadership makes another want to join in (rather than follow) and to share the "road less traveled" (rather than taking the quickest, fastest route to nowhere).  Rarely will inspirational leaders tell another what must be done or how to do it – they allow their actions to speak louder than their words.  When we look to be that which has not yet been identified we initiate lasting change – which becomes the platform for continued growth.

Whether you choose to coerce, motivate or inspire change, recognize that an individual must see a reason to change before they will abandon their ways to pursue a new horizon.  We cannot CREATE change within an individual – we are only able to initiate it.  We cannot FORCE change within an individual – we are only able to guide it.  We cannot make another do that which they choose not to – we can only provide positive reasons to act AND identify negative consequences should one choose not to act appropriately.

EFFECTIVELY MANAGING CHANGE

Change cannot be happen unless (and until) we identify what needs to be altered, why it needs to be modified, what resistance we might face when setting and embarking upon a new and different course and what we expect to accomplish – what positive outcomes and results might we realize.  We must establish goals that not only define where we wish to travel but address the route we might choose and any detours that could disrupt our journey.  We should include stakeholders whose participation could “make or break” our safe passage as well as those who might be impacted (either negatively OR positively) by a change in course. 

While gathering input from others is a good thing, effective change most typically comes through GUIDED discussions that are focused on an initial anticipated outcome (even if the outcome and objective might change during the facilitated discussion) rather than wide-open agendas having no leadership or coordination.  Good leaders often set goals then gather input from stakeholders as to how they might best accomplish the established objective.  Great leaders often identify what needs to be changed, talk to stakeholders about why the change must happen, then work with others to move towards a resolution that is better than what is currently in place BUT that may end up being but a resting point rather than a final destination. 

In order to initiate (and successfully implement) change, end up in a different place or experience unexpected results, one must:

•          Set a realistic and attainable goal
•          Involve stakeholders who may be impacted by change
•          Initiate action then either lead, follow or get out of the way
•          Monitor progress and generate (and communicate) reports to maintain momentum
•          Feel free to change course if conditions change BUT communicate both the new direction   AND why the focus must shift – defining the new destination – prior to acting
•          Be willing to persevere (potentially against all odds) if the reward is worth the risk
•          Praise loudly and publicly when actions or activities deserve recognition
•          Criticize quietly and privately when needed BUT NEVER without offering alternative solutions or actions to the path that did not produce anticipated outcomes chosen by the individual or group
•          Place the value of change above being recognized as its initiator or the one responsible for its accomplishment
•      Internalize the belief that much can be accomplished if one does not care whom receives the credit for its being done

When considering making a change, be bold.  Look at what could be accomplished then set your sights just beyond that horizon.  Anyone can “get by” in life – only those willing to risk more than they have already accomplished will gain more than they might ever have imagined possible.  Set goals that will test your limits yet still be within the realm of possibility if you seek to advance rather than being content maintaining.

Choose goals that, if achieved, actually mean something to you and those around you. Goals based on important, closely-held values will be the most meaningful AND you will be more likely to achieve them.  Our willingness to change is much higher when we WANT to do something differently than it is if we ARE TOLD to act differently.  When seeking change, give yourself the best chance of realizing your goal by directing your efforts towards its accomplishment (while recognizing and rewarding each measurable step towards its accomplishment).  Recognize there is not “right or wrong way” to achieve results.  If you must focus on one step at a time while focusing all your efforts towards the accomplishment of each individual task, establish your expectations accordingly.  If you “multi-task” and feel the need to juggle multiple priorities, establish systems that will allow you to diversify your efforts yet maintain a reasonable timetable for the completion of a variety of activities.

Change WILL happen regardless of what we may say or do. The keys to managing and accomplishing successful change cycles would include:

•          Identifying what must be improved (deficiencies) and objectives (outcomes)
•          Planning alternatives
•          Reacting to disruptions
•          Anticipating objections
•          Responding to detractors (and distractions)
•          Monitoring activities
•          Reporting progress, and
•          Maintaining momentum
•          Concluding efforts and initiating “closure”
•          Repeat – as often as necessary!

If goals are significant and meaningful, they do not need to be numerous nor earth-shattering.  We all must learn to walk before we can run.  So too, we must be able to handle “the little stuff” before we can be expected to change the world!

MAKING GOOD DECISIONS

Everyone makes decisions throughout their life.  Whether meaningful or insignificant – personal or professional – the decisions we make and actions we take are the building blocks of the life we are able to live.  Unfortunately, many people restrict their decision-making abilities by over-researching an issue or situation keeping them solidly planted “where they are” rather than allowing themselves to move towards “where they could be.” New leaders often feel pressured to take action that results in change to prove their value.  Good leaders typically research their alternatives before choosing the path that will most likely lead to success.  Great leaders go one step farther by learning to anticipate unexpected results – always tempering their intentional actions with an understanding of potential risk – before making what appear to be “judgment calls” that culminate in good decisions.

Great leaders involve others in the decision-making process by leading them to a solution rather than pushing them to a conclusion, allowing them to see both the benefits and the potential pitfalls of any action taken.  They allow others to make mistakes (from which they will ultimately grow) so they can initiate a successful resolution process rather than continually sheltering them from harm’s way.  Involving the people needed for implementation in the decision-making process allows them to make better judgments in the future.  Helping others make better decisions will minimize the number of critical calls we must make ourselves.  When others are involved in the decision-making process, learning from both their successes and their failures, they gain the confidence to lead.  It is important that we enhance and add to the experiences of those working with and for us so that they might be able to contribute (and be ready to take over when we are ready to move up) rather than “doing it all ourselves” and finding that nobody is capable of taking our place.

The key to making great decisions is maintaining “mental flexibility.”  It is OK to change your mind if the conditions or situations driving your initial decision change.  It is never wrong to act – it is wrong only to act without first considering all the ramifications involved with the actions you take OR by simply failing to act due to fear of the unknown.  The only bad decision is one not made, and the only inexcusable action is one occurring unintentionally.  Being unafraid to make a mistake from which you can ultimately learn is critical for our greatest rewards are often born through the painful experiences of our losses.  Far too many people wish to receive results without taking risks – seek to enjoy the rewards offered by doing something differently without investing the effort needed to initiate change. 

Those able to make great decisions seek that which is possible rather than settling for that which is probable.  They tend to reach for what they dream rather than limiting themselves to what they can see – recognizing that dreams and imaginings are the precursors to great discoveries ONLY IF they are allowed to initiate action.  They have learned that if consciously doing nothing provides a better result, it is more advantageous to temporarily hold back (until the situation or conditions change) than to foolishly rush forward.  Before acting one should ask not only “what should be done” but also seek to determine “why” action should be taken – weighing the potential benefits of doing something against the repercussions of doing nothing.  Do not EVER simply fail to take action, however, because unintended consequences often follow unintentional inaction. 

Rarely will a truly exceptional leader step into a position of authority without having first performed many different jobs within an organization demonstrating a wide array of responsibilities and experiencing both success and failure YET many seek roles that would allow them to make decisions that might lead to success having no prior knowledge or experience.  Great decisions cannot be made unless one first acquires the proper tools (training and/or experience) which would allow them to leave the “here and now” without fear of failure as they move towards what has yet to materialize as a new reality.  We would not expect a business owner to “hit the ground running” without any knowledge of operations, administration, or marketing.  We often expect newly appointed supervisors and managers, however, to lead without receiving any transitional tools or training to help them direct the work of others.  We expect new parents to raise their children flawlessly without any previous experience or knowledge. We expect relationships to grow and blossom without experiencing the reality that another must come first (rather than last).  Gaining life experience through watching, seeing and participating in a variety of different activities OR enrolling (and engaging in) training programs designed to enhance a skill set are critical parts of an effective decision-making process.  Good decisions require experience-based judgment allowing us to “let go of what we have and who we are” so we can move from being “great doers” to being a leader who can accomplishes much through the intentional (guided but independent) efforts of others.

BUILDING AND MAINTAINING INTEGRITY

Leaders must establish consistent, fair and equitable (NOT equal) guidelines that are well-defined and clearly communicated as the litmus test for decisions they make – regardless of whether “anyone is watching” or not.  People are far more likely to see what you do than hear what you say in life – and a reputation is much easier to maintain than it is to regain.  Employees (or those seeking work) must identify and present truth over fiction, reality over desires and an honest appraisal of what they can do over what they feel they might be able to do when seeking advancement or fulfillment.  Managers must communicate openly and honestly as well or even the best qualified candidate may choose to leave if the “pain of remaining” is a greater motivator to change than the apprehension of starting over is a motivator to stay – particularly within an economy that has more jobs available than qualified candidates to fill them.  Far too many of the ethical shortcomings within today’s world have their roots in a lack of open and honest communication – people or business seeing what they can get away with rather than doing what they know is right – as they seek the fulfillment of self-serving values and the rewards of self-elevating accomplishments rather than the sustainability of shared goals and objectives. 

People often find themselves in an uncomfortable position if they have communicated a partial truth, remained silent on an important aspect or condition, or failed to tell the “why” when issuing instruction or correction rather than openly and honestly telling the entire and absolute truth.  We are a risk averse culture, avoiding situations where the potential of loss is great EVEN IF the possibility of gain is immense, hesitant to create (or even engage in) confrontation.  While some say that “silence is golden,” it can far more frequently be “deadly” than blissful.  When attempting to build (or retain) integrity, refusing to talk about an issue does not resolve it nor make it go away – it simply allows the underlying “reason” for conflict to grow and establish itself.  When individuals mistakenly believe that avoiding an issue will make it go away they are shocked and disappointed when the minor complications they may have been avoiding become un-navigable (and uncharted) waters that tear and destroy everything in their path.  It is far easier to talk about minor issues when they arise (building credibility, respect and integrity) than it is to continually ignore situations (eventually turning a “mole hill” into a mountain).  Leaders often must sacrifice the “popular” card in favor of one that promotes quiet respect – must walk away from being “one of the gang” to being the one who provides the gang with mission, vision and ongoing support.

There is a fine line between being confident and being cocky – between being considered essential and invaluable in the eyes of others and establishing your own value and importance (then trying to convince others that your personal beliefs and expectations are more valuable than theirs).  Far too many good leaders fail to become great because they put themselves before the wishes and needs of those around them – placing more importance upon their individual “good works” than on the accomplishments of those they lead.  When individuals in a position of power allow their personal influence to rise to the surface, effectively filtering the light from around and beneath them, others will be stifled rather than celebrated. 

Humility is far more frequently the foundation of a great leader than loud or abrasive bluster.  Honesty is far easier to maintain than a series of twisted or convoluted lies.  While one may find joy in the journey when seeking personal gain and rewards, rarely will long-term, sustainable integrity be found by forcing others to move in a defined manner to a contrived destination that benefits one party to the detriment of another.  Too many relationships are damaged because one individual places his or her personal “wants” above those of another.  We often fail to realize (or even recognize) that IF we truly and sincerely care for others by helping them accomplish their objectives and meet their needs (NOT accomplishing their goals or meeting their objectives FOR them), others will have the time (and probably the propensity) to support and care for us as well.  The part about building (and maintaining) integrity, however, would dictate that we help others without expecting anything in return – accepting any “return on our investment” only as an unanticipated benefit that encourages us to grow.