WHY SETTLE FOR CHANGE WHEN YOU COULD TRULY MAKE A DIFFERENCE

Were we to live in an ideal world, everyone would focus more on new beginnings than on conclusions or endings.  “Drawing a line in the sand” would define more our intent to move forward than to keep us from stepping back – to establish that we are initiating a new path or direction as we seek a different destination rather than highlighting where we do not want to be.  Far too often, however, people think that closing one chapter is more important than opening the next – that finding closure is somehow more critical than initiating change.  I would disagree, preferring to think that drawing a line in the sand should serve as a springboard that launches you towards the discovery of a not-yet realized reality existing deeply within your imagination rather than as a perceived barrier to keep you from falling back into your old ways.

In any decision we make or action we take we should always reflect upon successes and failings in the past while seeking to clearly differentiate our dreams and/or goals from our present realities before intentionally acting to bring them to fruition as we seek to make a difference.  Allow each day’s sunset to bring closure to life’s challenges so that morning might offer a fresh new beginning – whether it be a new project or simply a different perspective that transforms frustration or ambivalence into opportunity.  Far too many well-intended individuals stagnate as they cross their line in the sand because they were more concerned with enacting change – with stepping away from unwanted actions or results – than they were with charting a new path and moving forward towards a new destination.

The next time you draw a line in the sand, think about the new realities that you wish to establish or bring to fruition through the actions you will be taking rather than focusing upon what will no longer be done because you stopped performing or acting in a particular way.  One cannot drive safely or reach their desired destination by constantly looking in the rear view mirror.  While they CAN focus upon where they have been they CANNOT focus upon where they are going.  We build the future upon dreams that become reality – not on the actions taken to avoid negative consequences.  Refuse to live in a world of “what is” and you just might find yourself firmly rooted in one made up of “what if,” “what could be” or “why not?” 

What intentional acts have you taken lately to initiate change – to develop a new path or truly make a difference in where you are going rather than simply stepping away from where you have been?  In the actions that you have recently taken and the changes you have recently made were you more driven by moving forward towards the unknown or were you more motivated by a fear of falling back – of becoming what you were but do not want to be any longer?  Were you more hesitant to let go of “what is” than you were excited to reach out for “what could be?” Were you truly more focused on where you might travel, looking ahead towards the journey rather than simply trying to keep from falling back?  While both are necessary, one cannot make a difference simply by accepting that things must change - he or she must INITIATE and FOLLOW THROUGH on their actions to make a difference.

When you come to the point in life that you KNOW things must change and you REFUSE to live another day doing the same things that bring unwanted (or potentially destructive) results, draw your line, step over it, then move steadfastly forward towards the realization of a goal or the discovery of a new destination.  Refuse to limit your potential by focusing upon what you want to leave behind rather than seeing clearly what you wish to accomplish.  It is only when one truly walks away from stagnation (rather than accepting it or simply stepping aside to avoid it) and chooses to move relentlessly forward towards the possibilities the future holds (rather than accepting continuous disappointment found within their current situation) can the world be turned upside down.  It is then that one can begin to truly make a difference rather than simply initiating a change.

THERE IS MORE TO LEADING THAN CAPTURING THE WIND

Every team needs a leader – but rarely can one individual set the course, trim the sails, maintain direction and stabilize the ship by him or herself without the help or assistance of others.  True leaders emerge during times of trouble, turmoil and strife – riding the strength of their convictions – as they leverage the abilities of others to accomplish exponential multiples of what they could have achieved by themselves.  While there should be very little difference in one’s leadership style when enjoying success OR facing unexpected hurdles, far too many “competent” managers take full responsibility for accomplishments while blaming mistakes on the actions (or inactions) of others rather than sharing credit for things done well and accepting responsibility for unwanted or unintended consequences.  A good manager assesses his or her situation, gathers metrics that explain or clarify what has happened in the past and plots a course that will build upon what has proven successful (or been demonstrated to fail) so as to minimize risk and maximize the potential of positive results.  A good leader bends to fit into their surroundings rather than standing firmly against life’s storms.  An exceptional leader utilizes all the resources at his or her disposal to ensure success, safety and continued progress rather than seeking personal praise and short term-gain (popularity, acceptance, being “liked”) while pursuing excellence. 

Leadership is like a ship at sea as decisions made and actions taken need a form of propulsion (to make them move forward), a means of stabilization (to keep them on track), a method to control direction (to ensure they do not drift aimlessly) and a way to see beyond the horizon (to safely travel a charted course) in the pursuit of a not yet realized (but well planned and intended) destination.  When setting and communicating a course of action, a Leader must take responsibility for his or her actions AND the consequences of the team’s actions by taking ownership of a situation rather than blaming another for an unfortunate circumstance – accepting and facing reality while constantly pushing towards an anticipated destination.   He or she must act as a sail by capturing the wind to push the team forward – anticipating and avoiding changes in the winds that could disrupt progress.  Without a sail (or motor, for the less classical thinker), a ship will drift endlessly upon the currents having no control of its motion or expected results.  A sail pushes a ship forward much as a good leader encourages forward progress by recognizing and anticipating the contributions of each member as the team progresses towards a final destination.  A sail does no good if left folded for, no matter how much good a sail COULD do, if it is removed from its proper place on the mast of a ship no intentional progress will be made.  Similarly, if a leader spends time collecting data points and focusing upon what has happened in the past at the expense of what could (or should) happen in the future it is like setting a folded sail upon the deck of a ship with no intention of rigging it to the mast.  The means for success may be within reach but when active and decisive leadership is missing, a team will wallow and drift aimlessly before eventually (possibly) reaching a destination (which is often unplanned, unexpected and less than ideal) than was anticipated. 

A ship needs both a rudder and a keel in order to “stay the course” as it progresses forward.  Without some form of steering a ship cannot turn – and while the quickest path between two points IS a straight line, life rarely provides unobstructed access to our goals.  Without some kind of stability – a keel or ballast beneath the surface – a ship will tilt, lean and possibly capsize before it reaches its destination.  A Leader must ask the right questions when investigating a situation – listening for useful input from others – while steering around obstacles (or correcting missteps) in the pursuit of a final objective.  A Leader takes his or her personal obligations (and credibility) more seriously than his or her personal work expectations.  Anticipated or planned objectives invariably change but a course charted by intentional thought and navigated with integrity can lead a team through any unexpected obstacle or unwanted disruption.  Trust is not earned easily will be granted when those being led see an individual consistently demonstrating through his or her life the ability to maintain control and provide the stability needed to keep a team on course.  While taking the easy road that needs no navigation or situational stabilization (allowing unequitable situations to exist within a team or partially concealing a truth) may be less painful and create fewer short-term disruptions or distractions than would direct confrontation, individuals preferring to dodge responsibility for their choices and actions will never be seen as credible leaders when given the opportunity to lead.  Straight and narrow paths through waters having no turbulence are rarely encountered in life yet those that PROVE themselves credible tend to develop the “hands on deck” that will make any rough water much more navigable.

A ship cannot travel forever without stopping for replenishment.  While a sailboat needs only the wind to move forward and a nuclear-powered ship could theoretically travel nearly forever, both have to stop at some point to resupply.  A ship does not typically reach its final destination by accident or without the ability to seek safety from the elements to resupply and rest its crew or – regardless of the ongoing ability of propulsion – the journey would be fraught with danger and distress.  Ships need an anchor to secure them while considering a new course BEFORE venturing forth if a destination is to be reached with maximum efficiency.  Likewise, a team needs “an anchor” to hold it back long enough to examine how it must proceed as it seeks new and innovative routes to accomplish its assigned objective.  Fools rush in – leaders step back so they can understand what was done, why it happened and what could be done differently BEFORE pushing relentlessly forward.  UNLESS a leader can identify sails, rudders, keels and anchors within his or her team – accepting each part’s abilities to contribute and limitation that keeps it from acting independently (in order to augment it with what is needed to ensure success) – the path taken will never be traveled without tragic mishap.  

A great leader may serve as the sail to his or her team – capturing the wind and transforming it into the propulsion needed to reach a destination – but must also recognize the necessity of stability, direction and the time for reevaluation if he or she hopes to be successful in moving effective problem resolution and the intentional accomplishment of our objectives.  Crisis becomes the testing ground for leadership excellence – one can either hold fast by creating, examining and reviewing metrics that clearly define what has been done in the past OR one can set sail while maintaining stability and establishing a course of action that will demonstrate confidence and ensure credibility and take intentional action that will initiate movement AWAY FROM what always was TOWARDS what could be but has yet to be discovered.  The decision (and the differentiation between GOOD and GREAT) is entirely up to the leader to make and express to his or her team.

The Courage to Continue Brings Success

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal; it is the courage to continue that counts.” Sir Winston Churchill

Success often comes to those willing to not only wait but also to those actively in pursuit of “outside of the box” thinking.  New directions, products, goals, destinations, partnerships and alliances never before thought possible have emerged from the “shelter in place” economy.  We all do things differently – the degree of success achieved often directly linked to the amount of risk we are willing to take, the confidence we have in the gifts we are given and the courage we have in our ability to learn from failure.

Many of us have experienced failure to varying degrees during the past several months.  Our comfortable existences (built upon personal dreams that came to fruition through hard work and determined actions) crashed upon rocky shores – dismantled by a stormy world and its altered expectations that we could not have anticipated nor controlled.  Stories about plant closings and personal loss became more the norm than the exception – the negative reality (and its perceived lingering impact) overshadowing news about business expansion, short term disruption and the predicted rapid return to “normal” – all totally unexpected even two short months ago when our economy was moving along at an unprecedented rate.  Unanticipated failure, uncontrollable restrictions, unwelcome disruptions, unwanted time away from what we want and need to do and forced “confinement” within a limited space and a handful of people (for those fortunate enough to share their home lives with others) are all issues that must be dealt with in a world that seems to have run amok – fallen over the edge – leaving many abandoned within its wake.  In times such as these we must either accept that we cannot control certain aspects of our lives and move on OR become lost in misery and self-loathing – painting ourselves as victims within a world over which we had no control – and wait for “things to get better.”

In order to grow in life we must experience failure – know that everything happens for a reason but that sometimes the reasons for things happening are to help us learn rather than to provide us results.  If we are to thrive in life we must truly believe that learning lessons from our experiences today (rather than trying to avoid all potential of failure or shortcoming) will actually allow us to move relentlessly towards a brighter tomorrow.  “Getting by” can be done with very little risk, investment or commitment.  Thriving is reserved only for those willing to try without guarantee or promise of success – to recognize that falling is not failure, rather failing to get up after falling is the only true impediment to success we will ever face.  While some may limit their potential by doing only that which they know will work (for whatever reason feeling that what has been is all that will ever be), others will fly like eagles by recognizing no life is without disruption and that one can only truly live life after they accept failure as a given and recognize the strength that can be gained ONLY by working through that failure.  Individuals whom consistently taste success and thrive during times of turmoil typically define their future ONLY by its potential rather than by imaginary restraints (be they real or perceived) constructed from beliefs and conditions within their pasts that cannot be overcome.  Once achieved, success should be viewed as a means to an end rather than an end in itself.  Success can lead to obsolescence without continuous attention to and improvement of the choices we have been given.

Failure is not fatal UNLESS we accept it as a conclusion to our actions rather than an unplanned stop along the way.  Let us not look into the face of failure only to find that “it is us.”  Move forward with courage to establish lofty goals – never resting on the laurels of past successes.  Seek new mountains to climb – refusing to be lost in the dark valleys of missed opportunity.  Though we are emerging from the mists that have slowed our journey, our road to recovery has not yet ended – our destination has yet to be fully revealed.  Failure can only become success when we exhibit the courage to continue.  While we all assume our share of blame in this world, we should never allow ourselves to be accused of following the crowd we were destined to lead – of becoming but an “accepted” part of the problem rather than an essential part of the solution.  Our dreams will be realized only when we continuously move forward in our quest for new realities, accepting failure as a part of that ongoing process we cannot control – a part that will negatively impact us ONLY if allowed to grow unabated within us because we do not have the courage to move on or the desire to grow.

VALUE YOUR TIME AND FIND JOY IN THE JOURNEY

During this time of unprecedented “isolation,” many are grumbling about all they cannot do rather than all that might be possible.  Why is it that people tend to rush to judgment (particularly of others) without trying to find “the story behind the story?”  Too many hurry up to wait and do anything but “stop to smell the roses” or try to accomplish all that really NEEDS to be done rather than all that they may WANT to be done.  We seem to worry more about how quickly we can finish the race (the lawn, the wash, the cleaning) than about the joy along the way — or even the satisfaction derived from simply crossing the finish line (eventually even if not “first”).  People far too often worry needlessly about things outside their control rather than identifying the things over which they do have influence and acting upon them.  The “stay at home” order is a reality – perhaps a huge inconvenience and a potentially crippling blow to our economy, but a reality that we – as creative individuals – have the ability to work with and through but not ignore or pretend it does not exist.  Fearing that we do not have the time to slow down – to appreciate the things around us because of the unrealistic expectations we sometimes place upon themselves – makes us slaves to the very clock we desperately seek to master as we try to keep ourselves busy to the point of exhaustion so we can complete a journey rather than seeking the enjoyment along the way as we move towards completion.

Many people complain about the lemons in life rather than celebrating the opportunity to make lemonade. The summer weather is too hot (yet January and February will almost certainly bring complaints about it being too cold)...I cannot stay at home because there is nothing there to do (while complaining there is too much to do when in the office so they never make it home on time)...I hate being alone at home (when many have a family that could be loved, relationships that could be strengthened and appreciation that could be shown).  Rather than finding satisfaction in who they are, what they are becoming and all they have accomplished, some see only what has not been finished due to a lack of time, what others are not doing and how the inability of someone else to contribute is getting in the way of what is not getting done. They spend time wishing they had something more rather than being grateful for what they have – wanting what another might have rather than seeking how they might be able to access things that are truly important.  We have become a nation of complainers who find satisfaction in bringing others down in order to make ourselves look better rather than elevating ourselves so we can pull others up with us.  Perhaps we should choose not to rush to judge others by taking the time to ask WHY someone acted in a way we might feel is foolish or ill-advised. Rather than expediting our condemnation, we should take time to consider that our own perspectives (expectations and frustrations) might be the cause of our exasperation rather than the well-intended actions of someone else that just do not fit into our inflexible reality.

Think about how much our words might matter if we offered advice and counsel rather than critically dismissing another’s action as being worthless, wrong or misguided.  While not everyone agrees with the short-term impact that the Governor’s (and the President’s) decisions are making on their lives – and the immediate impact may seem dark and irreconcilable – what has been decided is done so perhaps it is better to work with it rather than complain about it.  Complaining about decisions over which we have absolutely no control provides a short-term “fix” as it allows us to “vent” about our misgivings.  Unless (and until) we take positive action (sometimes which might include enjoying the things we would not have been able to see had we done things the way they have always been done to achieve what has always been accomplished) we will not be able to develop realistic expectations so we may never taste the satisfaction of accomplishment.

Why hurry up to wait? I have been passed by countless drivers rushing to get to a destination that might include half empty parking lots, ravaged grocery shelves and vacant offices as they refuse to leave the deserted passing lane upon which they choose to travel.  If you are going to have to wait anyway, use the time preparing for the journey. You can only control your own behavior. Each individual must take responsibility for his or her own actions so that they might be able to enjoy the rewards (or deal with the repercussions) that result from those decisions.  If someone is frustrating you by being late, use the time productively to think about how you might be able to change the situation. Avoid the senseless feeling of angst caused by another’s thoughtless action by taking something you can do while waiting.  If you can arrive early to a meeting, maximize your time by doing so but call ahead to make sure it is alright with the person you are meeting rather than showing up unannounced. If you are going to be late, call ahead to ask if it is alright or if you should reschedule. At least your tardiness will not be holding others up.  Perhaps focusing on your own flexibility (which you CAN control) will help to make your journey more enjoyable than fretting about another’s inflexibility (rudeness, tardiness or lack of purpose) over which you truly have no control.  Rather than worrying about all that is not happening or not getting done during these times of health crisis, what COULD you be doing to better yourself or help others?  Far more can be accomplished in life when we truly draw a line in the sand and step forward without looking back rather than simply putting out toe over the line but never moving beyond it.

People can be far too quick to blame and too slow to seek responsibility.  They far too often assign fault and transfer blame as to why something cannot be accomplished rather than to seek a workable solution and ensure its implementation.  Some measure the moments of their life by counting the number of breaths they take – the number of things they accomplish or the magnitude of their success. Might not a better measure of our lives be to track the number of moments we can discover that take our breath away – the depth and breadth of our accomplishments or the impact of our relationships? Spend time during the coming “weeks at home” to immerse yourself in the beauty our region provides – the depth of the relationships we have with the families that surround us.

Though we cannot alter the reality in which we find ourselves living we can stop chasing the hands of time as they race relentlessly around the clock. The sands of time will not bury us if we become the master of our own universe by taking the time to appreciate not only where we are going but also how, when and if we chose to arrive. Stay safe during these troubled times but be practical.  Use the time you may not have wanted to accomplish things you had not previously imagined and enjoy sights, relationships and activities that you may once have made yourself too busy to recognize.  Should you add this attitude of discovery to your daily routines when life begins to return to normal, what could possibly stand in your way from reaching the realistic destinations you establish when focusing upon what you can control, influence or change.

HOPE FOR THE BEST (while planning for but NEVER expecting the worst) IF YOU WANT TO SUCCEED

Some people identify the many things that could go wrong then spend most of their waking hours trying to avoid those possibilities.  They find themselves worrying so much about what COULD go wrong that they have no time to consider what MIGHT go right.  Focusing on (and investing in) negative outcomes tends to spiral into a self-fulfilling prophecy of sorts – when we are so convinced that something is going to fail it becomes our driving force and we tend to make decisions, take steps and move towards that destination – laser focused with blinders on and no alternative courses of action being considered.  If we think something it is likely to become reality, it most likely will unless we intentionally change the likelihood by taking positive and definitive action.  Successful people (and those that are generally happy) tend to hope for (and expect) the best possible outcome (rather than worry and fret over the most likely disaster) while preparing for and remaining cognizant of what COULD happen in order to formulate several courses of action to take IF (not when) the worst begins to happen.

Examples of this kind of thinking are plentiful in society today.  Individuals looking to take on new responsibilities or move to a new job often think about what will happen if the move does not work out.  Will their old job still be available?  Will they be able to do something else in the new organization if it does not work out?  Leaders seek employment contracts to protect them rather than allowing their accomplishments make them irreplaceable.  Many years ago workers at a local manufacturing plant sought representation by a collective bargaining agent “in case” the company shut down so they could receive severance pay and a cushion upon which to land RATHER THAN seeking increased compensation to better reward them for their results (the Union was ratified and the company shut down without providing significant severance compensation).  People go into relationships thinking about how they will move on or who will be there if their partnership “goes south” rather than seeing it as something more permanent that might take time, effort and sacrifice to solidify.  Simply put, when people expect something to happen it often does.  You overeat around the Holidays and know you will gain weight and (surprisingly???) it happens.  You make a New Year’s Resolution knowing that you will probably abandon it by February and guess what?  You start to get too busy to see it through after about 3 weeks of half-hearted effort.  You begin a new project by thinking about why it could never work because it is so different from what is being done now.  If that is truly your thinking you should probably never even begin to travel alternative paths because they will only lead to dead ends, detours and cliffs that will keep you from moving forward.

An optimist is defined as a person who tends to be hopeful and confident about the future or the success of something – one who believes that this world is the best of all possible worlds and that good must ultimately prevail over evil.  Perhaps it could also be stated that an optimist is one who believes that the best possible outcome will be realized because of his or her personal actions and the efforts of those involved and engaged.  An optimist is not an unrealistic “rose colored glasses” person but rather one whom fully invests in achieving a positive outcome because he or she SEES and FEELS how their efforts will be rewarded almost before they begin to move forward.  Planning for the best DOES NOT (necessarily) mean that one should expect something that would take a miracle to produce or that has very little fiscal, practical or historical support to happen.  Wishing and hoping for a BB gun as a child may or may not bring those thoughts to fruition.  Hoping for a way to be your company’s President may be a realistic dream for some employees but may not fall within the “reality” framework for many others.  Unless (and until), however, we begin to think like achievers – like a “success just waiting to happen” – will we become anything more than complainers or (even worse) finger pointers assigning blame as validation and justification for why what we thought was going to happen did.

A pessimist is defined as a person who tends to see the worst aspect of things or believe that the worst will happen - a person who believes that this world is as bad as it could be or that evil will ultimately prevail over good.  While pessimists are often right in the results they think they will attain it is usually due to the fact that they set their sights on things that could go wrong (and that, not surprisingly) end up just as they planned.  One must envision success in order to taste success – must expect accomplishment in order to experience it.  A pessimist might share the definition of expectations and results with an optimist BUT the expected results are usually different so the outcomes are typically as different as night and day.

Successful individuals (and leaders) RECOGNIZE the things that could go wrong but do not dwell upon them as their efforts and energies are focused on what they EXPECT to happen (a positive result).  They often CONSIDER the potential pitfalls of the steps they may have to take in order to plan alternative courses of action but their focus is on what SHOULD be done if they are to reach their destination rather than what COULD HAPPEN to derail them on their journey to the prize.  

Great leaders couch their hopes and dreams in reality, however – one could hope to fly an airplane but will probably not realistically accomplish that without the proper training, practice and experience.  One could hope to lead others upon a path to success but will probably not be able to do so unless (or until) they are properly equipped with the skills and training needed to lead (rather than to order, direct or manage) others.  One could expect to earn a six figure income and be well prepared for retirement by the age of 50 but will probably not do so without training, a specialized skill and good planning.  Hopes and expectations are necessary if one is to succeed but we also must have REALISTIC hopes and expectations that align with our skills, abilities, experience, potential and desires. 

LOOK BEYOND WHAT YOU SEE TO REALIZE WHAT MAY BE…

First impressions influence our attitudes as we work with others – sometimes positively but far too often in a negative manner.  Until (and unless) we allow ourselves to view people with an open mind – seeking the value they could bring rather than limiting their contributions by pre-evaluating their abilities based on our initial thoughts and feelings – we will never be able to realize how much of an impact they might be able to make.  We must dig deeper when we work with others – continually seeking to identify the “method to their madness” as we deliberately limit the “madness our own methods” can sometimes create.  While being a good judge of character is a leadership strength, following ONLY the paths that our tunnel vision allows us to easily identify can create much distraction and confusion along our road to success.

Unfounded perceptions can negatively influence our thinking and our actions – potentially undermining another’s ability to contribute and the possibility of enhanced organizational success.  The owner of a small machine shop once stated that he “would like to have a whole shop full of employees like the 76-year old who had retired then come back to work.  He noted his perceived loyalty and leadership ability that was seemingly inspirational to other employees.  Employees revealed that they were always looking for other opportunities – not so much because they did not like the work but rather because they did not want to end up working until they died because they “could not afford to retire” like the 76-year old “role model” that still had to work.  The “individual in question” stated that he was aware of both the owner’s and his fellow worker’s thoughts but that the REAL reason he worked was that it gave him something to do on a regular basis AND that “if I ever met his wife I would know why he still came to work!”  Often our perceptions can taint our thinking – many times creating false perceptions or huge misconceptions.  When working with others we should ALWAYS take time to question, listen and learn before leaping to judgment.

  

When we act on available information (without first validating our position and/or asking for clarification) we often initiate disaster.  Many years ago, my wife and son were engaged in a heated discussion when I arrived home from work.  It seems that he had been sent to the principal’s office for “hitting a kid with leaves” on his very first day of kindergarten.  She could not understand why “throwing leaves at someone” was an offense worthy of a principal’s attention.  He could not understand why she kept asking him about the situation after he had clearly and concisely answered her question about hitting a fellow student with a bunch of leaves – agreeing that he should not have been punished for such a trivial infraction.  I looked at my tearful son and asked, “How big of a stick were the leaves attached to?”  Upon hearing the “right” question he brightened and made an inch wide circle with his fingers and said, “Oh, about this big – nobody asked me that!”  We often lose sight of where we are going because we are so focused on what we think we know as determined by where we have been, what we have heard and what we have experienced.  Never form an opinion without first thinking about all the things that COULD BE rather than simply focusing upon what we think IS or HAS TRANSPIRED.  Always take the next step to learn “the rest of the story” before committing to a course of action or changing what has always worked (and is still working) to something that has not been tested, tried or thought about.

In order to maximize our own potential (AND encourage others to reach theirs) we must recognize that others truly do matter in life.  We can lift each other up (or weigh each other down) depending on how we view the relationships we might be able to establish.  If we verify our perceptions before we pass judgment we can often avoid making assumptions that could lead us down the wrong path.  If we ask for help and opinions from others before acting on our own – particularly when they may have already “been there and done that” – our journey can become much easier (for we may not have to “reinvent the wheel” before rolling down the road).  If we truly seek what others can contribute and listen to their words when we see their mouths moving (rather than using their “talk time” as an opportunity to catch our breath before continuing to “have our way” or “impose our will” upon others) we may find support and affirmation coming from unexpected sources all around us. 

People tend to act and respond in the manner they are treated.  If we respect others and help them to elevate their ideas to the next level they will contribute in surprising ways.  If we assume that others are but pawns within the chessboard of life – foot soldiers whose only purpose is to “march into battle” as ordered without questioning the “why” of their actions or the “where” of their going – we will never come to appreciate the “hidden good” that others have within them – good that will bubble to the top making their NEXT employer or relationship great.  Look beyond the obvious to make sure you pay enough attention to what others say and do (and sometimes what they may NOT say or do because of fear or intimidation) that you can enjoy the difference their input makes in your life (AND you in theirs).