BE YOURSELF IN LIFE – IT IS TOO HARD TO BE SOMEONE ELSE…

How might the world be different if transparency truly replaced the guarded face we typically present when interacting with others? If we were to transform the tolerance we often painfully exhibit when others are “not like us” into unconditional acceptance, would the world become a better place? If we could be more comfortable with who we are – readily exhibiting our strengths, acknowledging our shortcomings, and intentionally acting to bring about positive change – might we more readily embrace the similarities and accept differences of those around us?

Accepting “who we are” does not imply we do not need to change. An individual is not a static point within a sedentary world. Rather, life “happens,” and we must anticipate, respond, and reply to the challenges it presents. Being “who you are” today does not mean you should be the same tomorrow – nor does it assume you are the same today as you were yesterday. We must accept our skills, abilities, values, ethics, standards, and persona as they were yesterday – enhancing and improving upon them today – so we can build upon them as we move towards a better tomorrow – using all that we once were and all that we presently are as a springboard to that which is to come rather. Success does not come from doing what has always been done in the way that it was previously done (without change, challenge or thought) but from viewing all that has been as a harbinger of things yet to come – a precursor to excellence rather than a destination or an epitome of all things thought possible.

To become all that we can be we must first accept all that we are so we can move beyond the boundaries created by our present reality into the unlimited realm of future possibility. We cannot fulfill our potential when we are so busy immersing ourselves in the accomplishments of others that we have no time to enjoy (or even identify) our own successes. Celebrate the progress you have made with the gifts you have been given rather than dwelling upon the things you do not have or have yet to (and possibly never will) accomplish. Rather than worrying about the things you cannot yet do or the ideas you have yet to express, embrace the things you have done and the value of the thoughts you routinely bring to fruition. We must recognize “what is” while moving towards “what could be” AFTER considering “what has been” and examining what has worked (and what has failed) in the past if we are to truly make a difference in this world. We must force ourselves to take two steps forward for each one we slip back – knowing it is not what we have nor what we have done that makes us different, but rather what we have yet to do and what we have not yet accomplished. While all things are possible, some things take a bit longer to accomplish than others.

Successful individuals tend to achieve great things with and through others – gaining satisfaction from celebrating he accomplishments of others rather than seeking recognition and acknowledgement for their own thoughts or actions. Few respected individuals make decisions based solely upon what is best for themselves or their own future. When we spend too much time tracking who is doing what (wrong) that we cannot assign proper credit for everything that is done well we end up taking more time validating results than initiating or performing actions necessary to make things happen.

What you do is a greater indicator of who you are than anything you will ever say. If you do not “do what you say and say what you do,” however, you will probably never completely fulfill your potential. If you try to live within the image of another or hide within their shadows, a misspoken word or unintended action will eventually reveal your true self as being different from what you project yourself to be. It is best to be yourself in all you say and do because until (and unless) we allow others to view us as we are – to see the value we bring rather than allowing our contributions to be limited by what we might think they expect – we will not realize our true significance.

We should accept that all things are possible while recognizing some are not yet feasible. Refuse to be content with your position in life, however, continuously seeking those things not yet realized while moving towards new avenues not yet explored. When we begin to identify and fulfill our own potential, we find that “being ourselves” is not such a bad thing – which is good – because anyone else we might wish to become has already been taken.

THE KEY TO STRONG RELATIONSHIPS – GIVE MORE THAN EXPECTED (OR ANTICIPATED) TO RECEIVE IN RETURN

One cannot do ONLY what is anticipated or expected if one wishes to gain as much from a relationship (business, personal or professional) as one could possibly enjoy without first giving more than we might ever wish to receive in return. We can never hope to receive more than we personally contribute to any situation, relationship, or solution. Looking back (finding comfort in what once was rather than seeking it in what has not yet materialized), remaining content within the present (rather than using the present as a springboard to the future), giving what is expected (rather than what you might want if you were the other person) and doing only what works (as opposed to seeking what might work better) are all signs of relationship stagnation. In order to assure that life-changing relationships are being developed AND maintained, we should strive to: 

·     Seek what COULD be done rather than doing what MUST be done. No relationship ever grows to a meaningful or “state of oneness” without putting another’s wants, needs, and desires first. When we do all that the other expects…all that would be considered necessary…we are doing no more than anyone else would within the same situation. When seeking to build strong relationships we must go over and above – give more than we might ever anticipate receiving in return – without expectation of any “equal and opposite action” but accepting only the giving as reward enough without needing any gifts in return.

·     Avoid the misguided concept of being irreplaceable. No individual is irreplaceable BUT it should be our aspiration to become helpful, supportive, and available. If an individual feels that nobody could EVER do what he or she does – that they are “the best thing since sliced bread” and that nobody has better insight, information, or knowledge to support or “make another whole,” then that person has probably limited what he or she will ever be able to accomplish, contribute or share. Individuals who believe they are “critical” to another person OR an organization because of their limited and specialized role, ability or presence simply reinforce the stagnation of stifled growth and acceptance of the status quo as individuality is sacrificed at the altar of co-dependence.

·     Quit believing you know all the answers. People who think they know everything tend to talk more than they listen…feel that they are more important than others and (often unknowingly) make sure others know it as well by repeating the same stories of success, importance and “better than anyone else” until people choose not to listen. Knowing how to ask the right questions and bringing others along into conversations to highlight their abilities, successes and strengths are much more valuable (and desirable) than those who try to give all the right answers. One must always be open to new ideas, techniques, and ways of doing things. We can truly contribute to a meaningful relationship ONLY after identifying (and admitting to) our own limitations before focusing on existing processes, practices, systems, and apparent realities by asking questions that identify and isolate deficiencies – then by taking intentional action that defines a new direction and establishes a better destination.

·    ALWAYS give credit to others. Individuals who recognize and acknowledge the ideas and actions of others – rather than taking credit for thoughts that may not be their own – tend to rise more rapidly to the top and find more satisfaction in close relationships. Those taking credit for another’s ideas better like themselves a lot because they may find their once supportive friends will not be around to prop them up in the future when everything is “I knew (or was about to say) that” to every solution that is suggested. When credit is freely given (with accountability being accepted should mistakes occur), people learn from their mistakes (rather than being flogged for making them). Ultimately, the individual initiating the thoughts (with OR without credit), the person allowing their development (into actionable ideas) AND the person performing the action will jointly own the benefits of an idea being allowed to grow and prosper.

A continuous source of water – of ideas – must be available if we wish a pond to become a lake – and an even greater source must exist if we seek to expand a lake into an ocean. We must sometimes build a dam (to provide support or containment of rushing ideas) in order for them to slow down long enough to build and grow. For one to realize “what could be” rather than simply bringing to fruition “what is,” a variety of ideas and abilities must be channeled into a single catch basin rather than being diverted into unrelated tributaries that flow uncontrolled away from the goal. It is only by giving without expectation that we will ever receive without limitation – by helping another far more than they might ever be able to return the help – that one is able to build and maintain strong relationships. When we feel most important in a relationship we typically are – to ourselves – but not to others. It is only when we give without ceasing…when we share beyond all reasonable expectation…when we find joy in the glow within another’s eyes rather than needing to feel joy because of another’s actions…will we be able to become one with another for only when we give freely and fully of ourselves will there be room within to accept the giving of another.

LOOKING (AND LIVING) FORWARD RATHER THAN DWELLING (AND HIDING) IN THE PAST

Many people live within the memories of their past, dwelling in thoughts of the safe places that bring them happiness and security as they live comfortably within a sheltered world of accomplishments. When life is contained within established thoughts and dreams of “what is” and re-enactments of “what has been,” however, we may never realize our full potential. When we drive forward while gazing intently through the rearview mirror, we are able to see clearly where we have been and what we have done but far too often miss where we are going or what we could become (as well as being unable to avoid what might be coming that we cannot see when focusing on what has already been done).

Some dream of what could be, casting off the limitations of “what is” or “what was” in favor of the promise and possibility of what has not yet been considered. They spend more time thinking of how things might be different than they have shown themselves to be…how the established processes that have worked well might be modified and how those that have left much to be desired can be replaced with something new (and potentially untested). They seek the possible rather than the proven and often find satisfaction in the PROCESS of change as much as they do in the RESULTS they attain.

In order to make a difference in our lives (and in the lives of those around us) - to achieve that which was considered improbable (or even impossible) by others – we need but our eyes to see where we are going and our minds to consider changes to where we have been.  We need to cast our vision upon where we want to be…limiting our potential ONLY by the self-imposed barriers placed before us by our inability to act or our unwillingness to stretch (and failure to challenge) accepted boundaries that were established by others. Understanding the cause and purpose of what we see requires our mind to bring to fruition the potential…to bring to reality the dreams that we see within our imagination when we open our eyes to see what CAN be done rather than focusing upon what HAS been done.

While there is comfort in living a life that we know “works” (because it has always worked in the past), there is also danger in driving forward while looking backwards. Focusing upon what has been done (or not done) may help us to fully understand our history…to dwell within and gain from our successes as we marvel upon our accomplishments…but we cannot anticipate the changing road in front of us nor the pitfalls (OR possibilities) that might lie ahead. When we live in the present and find comfort in the past (in who and what we have established ourselves to be), we may be successful and accomplish all others ask or expect of us BUT will rarely achieve MORE than the “minimum” or truly fulfill our potential (as we become content to “merely” fully demonstrating our proven abilities). If we wish to realize our own desires and live out our own dreams, we must look forward more than backwards…seek what has yet to come (AND how we will get there) rather than finding comfort in what has already been…as we move intentionally (and relentlessly) ahead towards “worlds unknown” and destinations not yet imagined.

The rearview mirror does have value. It reminds us of what we can do…of what can be accomplished…of the recognition we have been given because of the way we led others to grow and meet the expectations of those around them…of the things that provide us both pleasure (that we can replicate) and pain (that we can avoid). Our dreams, however – that can be seen only when we look forward rather than backwards – provide an indication of what has yet to come – leading us to places not yet realized from which we can either expand our horizons OR pick ourselves up after we have fallen, seeking what could be possible while learning from our failures as we achieve new and different realities. All things that have already been accomplished were once dreams that were brought to fruition through the efforts and abilities we possess…that we leveraged to our benefit and advantage. To stop dreaming, however, means to accept what has been done as all that could possibly be accomplished…to virtually draw a line in the sand that we refuse to cross for fear of what might be on the other side.

If we are content to live wholly within “today’s world” we may be able to test established limitations and expand upon existing practices in order to achieve more others thought probable while accomplishing all that might be expected of us by another. If one ceases to dream, can he or she continue to grow? Should one be content to live in the past…to talk about all that was done and all that resulted from their actions…can one truly even continue to exist as anything but an empty shell or a hollow seed pod drifting uncontrollably upon the wind? There are many people in the world willing and content to be who and what they are…to please and satisfy others by doing what is asked of them, escaping to the comfort (or familiarity) of their residence in the company of those they enjoy (or sometimes simply tolerate) before returning to do what was asked in the manner that was expected, repeating the cycle and receiving the same results through repetitively similar efforts.

There are others, however, that will do what is expected while expanding the expectations placed upon them because of their need to accomplish what CAN be done (rather than doing only what MUST be done). They seek to add value to the lives of those around them so that all can contribute and grow while finding pleasure and contentment not only in what they have but reaching for what they might wish to achieve and seeking ways to go places they might wish to visit. They remember the past while enjoying the moment but live for what has yet to be realized (or, sometimes, has yet to be considered), receiving desired results through unique activities, independent thoughts, and individual efforts.

When we actively and intentionally work to accomplish much and dream of what more might be done or what other roads might yet be travelled as we look to what might be rather than finding comfort in what is or has been, we can live yesterday’s dreams by bringing them to fruition today…and create tomorrows pathways by dreaming about what may be in our future rather than focusing upon what we have already done…making today’s accomplishments but yesterday’s memories to be built upon as we grow rather than dwelled within as we stagnate.  

TO WHAT WILL YOU AWAKEN?

Everyone comes to a fork in the road – a place in life where they say, “no more” yet truly seek “no less.”  When we finally realize that life cannot continue at the insane pace we tend to pursue – that running towards a goal is far more important than running from a place we wish to abandon – we begin to understand that what motivates us to move can make a huge difference in where we may end up and when we may arrive…that allowing fear and emotion to drive our decisions may not produce the best results.  We eventually (and inevitably) run into a wall when our dreams for the future are overshadowed by our memories of the past…when looking behind us in the rearview mirror keeps us from realizing the opportunities that might be in front of us, locking us firmly into a “present” that is not growing, fulfilling or likely to change.

Some might say that we too often senselessly hold on to what we have (particularly that which does not contribute to our own or other’s growth) by over-valuing what has been (using our past accomplishments as shelters and destinations rather than foundations and springboards). Perhaps we should invest more in seeking what has not yet been revealed as we move forward towards what we want to accomplish and where we wish to go. When you quiet your soul and vanquish your fears – calm your apprehensions and begin to recognize that the light at the end of the tunnel into which you have entered may not be a train coming at you but rather a beacon leading you towards a dream that has yet to be realized – you enter into a new world of possibilities that sees life through a lens of “what could be” as an achievable alternative to seeking no more than “what has always been.”

We all awaken (eventually) to realize that our hoping for someone to give us something we do not have must stop – that we can no longer wait for change to “just happen,” others to “show us the way” towards being different, or that happiness, safety, and security will be waiting for us to discover without any effort or planning on our part. We must consciously and intentionally act to initiate change by leveraging our own abilities, experiences, and knowledge – accept the reality that we all have strengths, weaknesses, beauty, and warts. Nobody can (without intentional thoughts and actions) live like “Prince Charming” or “Cinderella” waiting to be provided a happiness in which they might live happily ever after by simply being in the right place at the right time (or kissing a frog). We must realize that life cannot be a fairy tale unless (and until) we recognize that peace and serenity is born through an acknowledgement (but not the acceptance) of our own inadequacies and an acceptance of the imperfections of others. Once we awaken to realize that life is a fluid state of flux rather than a static state of entitlement, we can cast aside the chains that hold us back as we reach out to grasp the lifelines that will pull us forward.

We view ourselves (and the world around us) through a filter born of the messages and opinions ingrained in us throughout our childhood then reinforced by the successes or failures – the acceptances or rejections – we have experienced throughout adulthood. Only when we begin to sift through the “junk” we have been fed about how to behave, what to wear, how to act and what to value – to determine what is real and important to us rather than reaching towards what was expected to be valued and significant for us by others – will we learn to open ourselves up to new worlds and different opportunities.  We cannot begin to reassess and redefine who we are and what we really stand for until we recognize that our individuality is shaped by our external influences and our internal desires – and how we allow each to impact the other. We must come to own what we can initiate (control and enact) and accept what we cannot change (alter or eliminate) before we can move forward to claim a life that is different from any we may have already experienced (or even possibly imagined).

As we awaken to the possibilities of a new and altered life, we begin to learn the difference between wanting and needing – discarding the doctrines and values we have outgrown or should never accepted to begin with as we follow our hearts, instincts, and consciences. We learn that it is truly in giving that we receive – that we can discover fulfillment and accomplishment through creating and contributing – but ONLY if we stop maneuvering through life as a consumer long enough to recognize that creation and consumption are distinctly different paths leading towards opposing and conflicting objectives. We must learn the differences between guilt and responsibility to thrive. We must learn the importance of setting boundaries and knowing when to say “no” rather than always saying “yes” (for when we extend ourselves beyond what we are capable of doing – even if it is intended to relieve the pressure on those around us – we may actually stifle the growth of others while reducing our own ability to initiate or master new things).

In the depths of our confusion when we find ourselves at an inexplicable fork in the road, we come to realize that, for the most part, we get from life what we believe we deserve (whether that be good or bad) and that much of life is a self-fulfilling prophecy. In order to achieve success, we need to believe that success is probable (or at least possible). We must recognize that anything worth achieving is worth working for – and that wishing for something to happen is far different than working to make it happen. In order to initiate change we need to identify a destination, establish a direction we will travel, then exhibit discipline and perseverance to stay on track. Before embarking upon a journey of change it is important that we recognize nobody can do everything alone, that it is OK to ask for help (and not a weakness of shortcoming to accept it) as we move forward towards a different reality.

When one feels that an impossibly large load has been dumped in front of them – that there is no reasonable or realistic way to get around the obstacle in front of us – we may come to realize life is not always “fair.”  We do not always get what we think we deserve – and sometimes bad things truly do happen to good people. We must learn to fight for what we want in life, however, rather than living under a cloud of impending doom if we hope to understand that fear of failure is not the only impediment to our growth – that a fear of success (and the unknown that accompanies it) may be an equally binding tie that holds us back OR launches us forward as we seek paths that will keep us moving towards what we could become.

We all awaken to a new dawn each day we rise. Far too many individuals are content to wake each morning and do what they have always done (with whom they have always done it) then go to sleep at night without accomplishing anything new or becoming anything different – not out of choice but rather out of obligation. If we are to make the most of the days we are given, we must learn from our failures rather than allowing our hopes to be buried by them. We must face life with and attitude of “Why Not?” rather than wallowing in one of “Why Me?” Those that awaken to what could be often seek the path leading towards “what might be possible” rather than settling for “what is and will never change.”  When we live our lives “as they could be” rather than being content to find comfort in “what they are” we will find ourselves awakened to a world of possibilities. 

WORDS ATTRACT ATTENTION – ACTIONS INITIATE RESULTS

While words and promises can be compelling, the true measure of a person is not what is said but rather what is done. Following a leader’s actions is much easier than believing promises – especially if what is said changes like the ever-shifting winds. Though a zebra may think itself a horse it cannot lose its stripes. A child’s storybook once portrayed a porcupine that thought himself to be “fluffy” rather than “prickly,” but his actions spoke louder than his words. We have often been told that “if we can dream it, we can do it,” but until we take intentional action to move from where we are to where we wish to be, nothing changes from what it is to what it could become. In order to lead effectively we must let go of the misconception that people will listen to what we say (and ask) without regard to what we do (or expect to be done) to accomplish what we want (without appropriate explanation) as we seek different results (without leading by example).

How can we expect our employees to adhere to an “eight to five” schedule if our day frequently begins at eight fifteen or ends at four thirty – with errands extending lunch and personal phone calls, internet inquiries or text messaging disrupting us from fulfilling our responsibilities? (Forget about the fact that you might have been doing company business the previous night, or that lunch was really an important business meeting or that breaks are not part of the daily routine…people SEE you coming in late or leaving early, your actions screaming far more loudly than the whispers of reality.)  Parents tell their children to obey the rules (as they break the speed limit driving them somewhere), to respect their teachers (as they complain about the “boss that does not know anything”), and to take time to enjoy life (when they are “too busy doing their own thing” to play catch in the yard or ask how a child’s day went).  Many sales organizations make unrealistic promises to customers (in order to “close the sale”) that must be kept by employees working long hours (evenings, weekends, and Holidays) while the people making the promise spend time with their family. While this “customer service” reality may be hard to avoid, repeated abuse of the time of others while no apparent “self-sacrifice” is perceived by those putting in the time will minimize the credibility of the “abuser” and create hard feelings within an organization.

We are not perfect and must learn to lead effectively by acting in a consistent and predictable manner (NOT necessarily doing the same thing in the same way all the time but rather by thinking in a logical manner that recognizes and considers the factors influencing success before acting in a way that those being led can understand). If we wish to be who we truly are rather than presenting ourselves as what we wish we could be, it would be wise to remember: 

1)                  Words are but whispers when compared to the shouts of our actions. People more often believe what they see than what they hear. Those around you establish their perception of you by what you do – by how you act – not by the things you say, ask or request. We may try to reinvent ourselves with eloquent words, but we are truly only what our actions establish us to be in the eyes of others. If a picture is worth a thousand words, how many volumes would a day’s worth of our actions (be they good or bad, consistent, or random) write upon the pages of the lives of those with whom we interact on a regular basis fill?

2)                  It is better to compromise than to criticize – to live in the house you have built through your actions than in the rubble of another’s house you destroyed with your words. Criticism is destructive. Competent leaders do not tear others down to make themselves look good…they build others up to make ALL improve. One cannot lead by pushing from behind – leadership leverages the abilities of all to move the group into a singular direction that benefits the whole – to raise the abilities of all so that the team can achieve an ever-increasing level of competence – pulling others along with them as they rise to the top rather than dragging them down so the “top” is not so far away.

3)                  Look inwardly when assigning blame. People often defend their inappropriate actions by shifting blame to others. Rarely does an individual come out and say, “It was my fault.”  Far more often it is, “Sam over there did something much worse than I would ever do. Address him before you talk to me.”  When we measure ourselves against the actions of others, we will never truly see value in what we may have done (nor the full impact that our mistakes may have initiated) – we see only the relative value of how our actions compare to another’s (concluding that “better than another” is “good enough” rather than striving to be the best).  Far too many politicians blame all failures on their predecessors while claiming all success as being their own –deflecting and deferring rather than speaking boldly and acting with confidence (assuming both the credit for decisions “gone right” and the blame for actions that failed).

4)                  Judge yourself using the same standards you apply to others. The greatest leaders of our times would never ask others to do what they would not do themselves. Great generals lead their troops into battle rather than following them from behind. Parents must “walk the talk” for their children. Managers cannot expect full productivity without giving it themselves. Anyone in a meaningful and sustainable relationship must share equally and contribute proportionately to a mutually beneficial outcome (rather than expecting another to be you or do things exactly as you would do them).

Effective leaders seek truth rather than distributing consequences. They focus more on what they are doing than on what others may not be doing – leading by example rather than by edict. They seek and provide “treats” much more frequently than they do “tricks.” In order to lead effectively, we must recognize that nothing we say will overcome the things others see us do – that our actions are the clanging symbols of a band while our words are the whispering flutes…often lost within the collective but vital and necessary as part of an overall masterpiece. Were we to live each day as if we lived in a glass house having no shades or blinds to mask our actions, would our words reinforce our reality or would our reality fade to but a reflection of our words? Only when we can accept the results that come from others doing what they see us do rather than performing as we tell them to act will we become leaders within our work, our personal lives, and the reality of those around us.

REFLECTIONS ABOUT GREAT LEADERS

Leaders inspire others to change. Rather than telling another what must be done (or what has been done wrong) they show individuals a better way. Rather than dwelling upon an individual’s negative behavior and their shortcomings they acknowledge positive efforts and reward positive results. A leader paints a picture of “what if” or “what could be” rather than “what is” or “what always will be,” making sure that stakeholders within the process are included in the “painting” as easily recognized key contributors. We cannot make an individual do what they choose not to do but we CAN provide positive reinforcement and identify potential negative consequences should they choose NOT to act appropriately. Leadership IS NOT an attribute isolated to your work environment…it is a characteristic that should indwell us in all of our relationships and interactions if we are to become all that we can be WHILE making those around us grow to their full potential as well.

Leaders typically demonstrate the ability to influence by example to gain the support of others that choose to follow them RATHER THAN forcing them to follow a lead they do not believe in or trust. Successful leaders put more effort into selling than they do telling – into securing “buy-in” and sharing ownership than they do in making excuses or assigning blame – recognizing that people contribute more if they WANT to do something than if they HAVE to do it. They anticipate “what might be possible” and prepare to advance that objective rather than reacting to “what did happen” and blaming others to avoid accepting the consequences. Gaining respect and credibility in the eyes of those being led is far better than trying to be a friend of those being managed or protecting them from tasting defeat. Asking “what part of this (situation, crisis, shortcoming, failure, or damaged relationship)” did I cause (before pointing out what the other party may or may not have done), accepting and admitting it, then taking proactive steps to keep it from happening again goes a long way to building a leader’s support and long-term credibility.

Leaders remain true to their values – transferring the skills and aptitudes they have learned onto others by saying what they believe and doing what they know to be right. Great leaders tend to display a fierce resolve to do whatever is needed in order to accomplish their stated objectives without really caring who gets the credit for the work AS LONG AS the anticipated results are accomplished. Saying what you mean – then doing what you say – are the two greatest attributes that a leader can exhibit. In a working environment those two simple actions create credibility and confidence…in a personal relationship they create trust and solidarity.

Exceptional leaders (within a work or a personal setting) recognize that their actions speak far more loudly than do their words. They look for the good in others, loudly praising their positive actions, interactions, and attributes (publicly when appropriate) while quietly addressing their shortcomings (privately and behind the scenes). Though negative behavior needs to be addressed, they make an effort to acknowledge and verbalize appreciation for things done well. Words describe what one wishes to accomplish but actions lead to the results that define success. An individual blessed with the gift of communication can paint a picture with the words he or she speaks. An individual blessed with the gift of accomplishment can achieve great things with or without the help of others. The rare individual possessing both gifts can accomplish things not yet imagined by engaging the abilities of others to raise both the floor (elevating those things once seen as unlikely to be accomplished) and rip off the ceiling (allowing them to grasp for the things that were considered to be out of their reach).

When all is said and all is done, our emphasis MUST be on recognizing accomplishment rather than rewarding effort OR people will continue to try tested and proven ways of doing things rather than attempting the unconsidered to achieve the unimaginable. While all individuals SHOULD be able to play on a team – to share in the rewards of a group’s efforts and work together to accomplish more than any one individual could have done on their own – every team needs a leader to monitor its activities, measure its efforts and acknowledge its accomplishments or the “wins” will become insignificant events while the “tries” will become praiseworthy. A leader identifies the issues, points out the challenges, equips the team (or partner) with the resources and abilities to perform then gets out of the way and observes from a distance…monitoring progress and helping to avoid pitfalls…but does not “protect” someone from learning through faltering or prevent them from finding a different path to a defined objective.

There is no limit to what can be achieved when one seeks results rather than recognition – when the goal becomes to accomplish our objective rather than making sure that we receive what we believe to be the appropriate credit for our individual (or our team’s) efforts. While doing things “as they have always been done” will often result in an “acceptable” result, is it not better to strive for excellence (rather than to thrive on mediocrity) and to push the boundaries out towards the unexplored horizon (rather than living comfortably within defined silos and contained fields)?

Before we can move from “what we have” to “what we hope for” we must realize that one journey must end before another can begin – that we must free ourselves from the constraints (and restrictions) that hold us back before we can wrestle with new opportunities. We must acknowledge that, before taking a new path to an unknown destination, we must abandon the old and familiar roads that have taken us safely to places in which we have found comfort. All change begins with the deliberate consideration of an intentional action that, if initiated, will forever alter where we are as it redefines where we are going. Without a goal – an aspiration to accomplish that which has not yet been achieved and to imagine that which has yet to be considered – and a way to measure progress towards its accomplishment, one will never know how far they have come nor how far they have yet to travel. The secret to being all that you can be is in setting realistic goals that stretch your reality from what it is to what it has not yet been accomplished. How can one move forward if they do not know when to begin their journey NOR where to cease their wandering?

In order to MAKE a difference in life we must be willing to BE different. We cannot remain “one of the crowd” doing things the same way that have always been done if we expect change to occur. We all choose which path we wish to travel – neither path being totally “right” or completely “wrong.”  We all live with our choices – holding fast to the possibilities (or the probabilities) that our actions dictate or choosing to pursue the unknown. Whether you are a seeker or a planter – a dreamer or a doer – you will receive back in direct proportion to what you have invested in – limited ONLY by your own acceptance of (or refusal to accept) reality.

Before we seek safe passage, we must first dream – for without dreams we cannot establish goals and targets that have not yet been considered so that we might be able to achieve that which has not yet been discovered. Before we determine which path we will follow we must immerse ourselves in all things that could be possible rather than seeking only those things of which we can be assured. Allow each pathway you take provide safe passage to the fulfillment of your dreams – never giving in or giving up no matter what obstacle may block your way. Seek greatness (rather than settling for adequacy). Reach for the stars (rather than being content to bump against the ceiling). Live within your potential (rather than limiting your success to those things that have previously been achieved or engaging only in the things you know how to do). Great leaders do not measure success by how many times they have tried nor even how much they have accomplished but rather by what they learned each time they stumbled – by the number of times they picked themselves up after being knocked down – as they positively influence the lives of those around them while persevering to do the things once thought to be beyond their reach (but never outside of their imagination).

BE A BEACON...

Today’s world is fraught with danger – a place where “not knowing” is an excuse rather than a valid justification. You can search on the computer, listen to the radio, or watch television and (depending upon which channel or version you happen to see or hear) find a treasure trove of information, representations and (sometimes) biased opinions about the same story (which never seem to coincide with the “truth” told by another outlet). There is no scarcity of news or information but there seems to be a void (at times) in terms of a credible resource that will RESEARCH the news-worthy situation, ANALYZE the story behind what happened then REPORT INFORMATION in a way that will allow a reader or listener to understand what is happening (rather than simply believing what they are being told). Too often individuals entrusted to report today’s events fabricate or embellish stories rather than simply stating facts as they seek to advance or validate their own opinion rather than allowing others to make their own decisions based upon the reported truth. Shining the light of self-serving opinion IS NOT the kind of beacon that individuals need to keep them from crashing upon a rocky shore during times of turmoil – it is a false security that will often lead to tragedy after leading another into the darkness. 

The many challenges provided by today’s global economy are not unprecedented threats to our sustainability. If you have never read Any Rand’s classic novel Atlas Shrugged, a small investment of your valuable time could reap invaluable rewards. In an uncanny foretelling of our times, Rand points out that “Government ‘help’ to business is just as disastrous as government persecution. The only way a government can be of service to business is by keeping its hands off.” How true in a time of fiscal cliffs, automatic budget cuts and increased taxation intended to redistribute wealth or create equality (rather than equity) in our society. Helping another find their way IS NOT finding it for them and leading them to a destination of your choosing. It IS assisting them as they identify the problem which can be addressed through their own intentional actions while serving as a guide to get them through unfamiliar territory along the way. 

Rather than seeing a storm as a possibility to shine, many view turbulence and tempests as being limitations placed upon their future. To this Ayn states, “Live and act within the limit of your knowledge and keep expanding it throughout the limit of your life. If one does not know, do not get scared – learn.” As you plan, respond, and anticipate, remember that what you know (and how you apply that knowledge to any specific situation) is the major obstacle most face when reaching towards their future. It is not a lack of ability, of trying or of “good intentions” but a lack of commitment and drive that prevents an individual from succeeding…a lack of trust (in their own abilities OR in the help offered by others) that keeps them from trying. 

Elsewhere Rand states, “Do you know the hallmark of a second rater? It is resentment of another’s achievement. They envy achievement and their dream of greatness is a world where all have become like their acknowledged inferiors, not knowing that such dreams are the infallible proof of mediocrity.” Those unable to rise to the top through their own merits or abilities often climb over others by minimizing their value and diminishing their worth. Rand observes that “The question is not who is going to allow you to accomplish your goals – it is who will you allow to stop you (from accomplishing them)?” We are often our own worst enemies because we rush forward as soon as an opening exists then move blindly without input from others, oblivious to the light that a beacon to safety can offer during our self-imposed storms. Compounding that, we expect others to act quickly before gathering information that could be critical to the successful accomplishment of their objectives. Being a beacon is more than simply shining a light – it is also reflecting and redirecting the light of others so they might find their way even when the nights are darkest and the storms most violent in their lives. 

Do not allow yourself (OR others) to be lost in a fog or be shattered upon the rocks. Be a beacon that can “lighten” the load of others while helping them to find their own safety through the rocky shores that life presents us. Seek a guiding light from others should you become lost yourself as it is impossible to lead another when you need leadership yourself. There is no shame in admitting the need for help or support as long as accepting it provides us with the skills, knowledge, and ability to move forward on our own. Extinguishing the beacon of another, however, by closing it out or shutting it down…or shining our own light upon the safety of the shore rather than the turbulence of the waters…is a travesty which should not be allowed nor tolerated.