Thursday, June 6, 2013
ADDRESSING INNAPPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR
We often interact with people seeking success at the expense of others or wanting to win by making others fail. They do not look to see who was stepped on during their ascension to the top or what rules might have been broken along the way. If we are honest with ourselves, rather than looking at how someone does things we tend to focus more upon their results – often elevating individuals to super star status based on the future they may bring without considering the carnage they may leave behind due to their lack of compassion. While many successful individuals rise to the top due to their own abilities, what should we do when we find that a person behaved inappropriately during their ascension? Do we ignore the “ways” in order to enjoy the “means” or should we act intentionally to address the unintended consequences of inappropriate behavior? Too many individuals assume all the credit while assigning only the blame – take the rewards associated with accomplishment while giving all responsibility for action to others. The choice we make speaks volumes to our character and the values we express to others as we live our daily lives.
When addressing a behavior that seems to be inappropriate, look inwardly before striking out. Did YOU do
Discussing inappropriate behavior is confrontational and never easy regardless of the relationship you may have with an individual. Before speaking, think about observable warning signs or clues YOU may have missed during the time leading up to the indiscretion. Mentally detail the individual’s strengths AND weaknesses (nobody is either all good or all bad – we are a combination of characteristics that make us unique). What is it about the individual that puts him or her above all others? Does the person possess the ability to grow or has the individual gone as far as they are going to go with the talents they possess? Are you willing to suffer a short-term disappointment in order to cultivate a long-term success? A realistic evaluation as to whether the individual is ABLE to grow (rather than simply being willing to try) must be an integral part of confrontation. We cannot force a person to change – he or she must see the benefits of altered behavior as being more significant than the rewards doing nothing differently.