RESOLVING TO CHANGE

The only certainty about change is that it will happen – regardless of what we do or say.  We can anticipate change – planning alternative reactions to the multitude of possibilities that might present themselves – but rarely can we predict with any degree of accuracy what we will be doing during the New Year as we so well learned last year (but we MUST react to unexpected circumstances or anticipate things that COULD happen to minimize their impact in our lives). Change is far too elusive to be contained – its possibilities far too numerous to be compartmentalized within our finite minds.  In order to accomplish change we must act with purpose and refuse to accept the status quo as we constantly identify new possibilities through a process of screening or validating their potential benefit by measuring their rewards against the investment of time and effort required to bring them to fruition.

As we move from one year to the next, many make resolutions of what they wish to change – proclaiming what will be different or what things in life they will leave behind – without ever taking the time to identify what must be changed BEFORE they move forward.  They often fail to realize their dreams because they do not identify and eliminate the behaviors that led to the need for change.  We cannot expect to see different results until we start doing things differently, honestly thinking about our strengths AND weaknesses or responding to the things in life that impact us rather than simply recognizing them and accepting them as fate, destiny or some other unchangeable influence.  Change is as much about identifying where we want to MOVE FROM as it is about looking towards where we wish to be.  We need to establish goals and objectives in order to begin a journey towards change – but to accomplish change we must intentionally decide to move away from our past without becoming comfortable and content within the “present” we find if we wish to discover and embrace all the future might hold.

In order to grow we must come to grips with who we are and what we do well as well as what we want and why we wish things to be different if we seek lasting change.  We must embrace our positive attributes while compartmentalizing the negative – and accept that where we wish to be IS an extension of where we are rather than an abstract concept or a desire shrouded by mists and darkness.  Change most often succeeds when it is gradual – when it builds from our strengths while minimizing our weaknesses – rather than proclaiming that things will be different without planning, preparation or self-awareness.  We can initiate and maintain change that builds upon what we do well – that does not require a complete transformation of who we are or what we portray ourselves.  It is relatively easy to change when we can alter a negative behavior or isolate a wandering thought to receive a greater reward than we would have had if we remained tied to what we did or where we were.  It is much more difficult to re-invent ourselves, our actions, our tendencies and our expectations without plan or purpose in order to achieve a different outcome in our lives.  Self-directed change can be accomplished when the initiator of change is able to monitor progress, see results and continue to move forward because the positive benefits gained are greater than those received had change NOT been initiated.  

Typically, resolutions that result in visible physical or behavioral change that others notice and comment upon passively feed one’s desire to maintain their change.  When obvious “positives” come from minor behavioral changes or altered choices, resolutions are often at least partially (if not fully) realized.  When individuals enter into a “pact” with themselves to realize change, however, it is not always accomplished since accountability to another is stronger than holding oneself responsible for results.  Even resolutions initiated through internal desires (one must WANT to change before change can occur) may need external oversight to keep the train on the track and moving in the right direction. It is almost impossible to “resolve” to be something different or “wake up” as someone other than who we have always been without someone being honest and helpful should you begin to drift from your objectives.  Far too often when we make a personal commitment to alter our behavior we compromise our internal standards when “the going gets tough” by allowing ourselves to “stop going” (and often fail to get back on track when conditions change).  We accept a level of “acceptable sameness” when we measure our own progress and answer only to ourselves for the results we achieve.  While short-term change can be dictated, lasting change occurs ONLY when we internally formulate the “what,” fully realize the “why,” understand the “how” and are completely committed to the “what will be.”  Relying upon a trusted friend, partner or co-worker to discuss the distractions while holding us accountable to push forward will help us make significant and lasting change.  We should always declare our resolutions publicly (even if the “public” to whom we declare them is but one or two) rather than keeping them secret IF we truly want help in our accomplishing transformational change.

Take the time to start fresh in 2021 BUT hold on to those things that you do well – that move you forward – rather than resolving to be drastically different in an unrealistic period of time.  Change is good – but sometimes choosing NOT to change can be just as rewarding.  Do not, however, accept mediocrity as a standard or find comfort in complacency.  When you resolve to change, do whatever it takes (internally OR with an external accountability partner) to initiate, monitor and maintain the change.  Make this year one of successful resolution so that, should you so desire, you might be able to initiate a meaningful revolution in your life.