A LEADERSHIP DILEMMA

Our world needs strong, unwavering leadership more than ever.  Parents want to be their children’s friends rather than their spiritual and emotional leaders.  People overlook critical issues within their relationships, preferring to avoid confrontation and resolution by staying away from each other or being too busy to talk. Partisan politicians are more committed to identifying who is at fault than to recognizing the problems and acting to resolve them.  Is it possible (or even worthwhile) to differentiate “management” from “leadership?” I sometimes fear that our leaders have taken leave – or are at least staying so far below the radar screen (and out of fire) that their effectiveness may be compromised.  IF that is the case, where have the leaders gone – and how can we bring them back?

If someone could develop a “one size fits all” leadership style that was “guaranteed to produce positive results” they would make a fortune. We all bring unique and individual characteristics to the leadership party so such an approach could not work.  To maximize results we must identify and accentuate strengths, meld them into the fabric and culture of our workplace, then find ways to make up for our inevitable weaknesses.  While this might prove to be a big challenge, several consistent differences between strong leaders and those who wish they could lead would include:

• Leaders who struggle to gain respect often “deliver” news as being “from Management” rather than “owning it” and seek credit for things that “go right” while assigning blame for things that “go wrong.”
• True leaders leave their reservations about communications in the meeting room – expressing opinions and concerns behind closed doors – then take ownership for the news they deliver. They also tend to “own” their department’s failures while deferring the ownership of success to others.
• Leaders who struggle to make a difference often wait for direction and guidance (so they do not do something that might be “wrong”) then openly express resentment when excluded from the decision-making process.  They seek recognition but avoid the ownership of failure yet the absence of their input prevents them from ever claiming the fruits of success.
• Strong leaders make decisions based on the information they have at their disposal (recognizing that if the information changes, so might their decision).  They then take action, guiding employees towards the accomplishment of a goal AND informing top management (not necessarily seeking permission) of their progress.
• Ineffective leaders tend to ask, “Why am I not part of the management team?”  Strong leaders step forward to make themselves an invaluable part of the team by learning as much about the organization as possible and leveraging this knowledge to make significant, profitable decisions.

While managers are often appointed, promoted or anointed, leaders assume responsibility through their actions and gain credibility through an honest and unwavering expression of their character.  A manager may assign blame – a leader assumes it.  A manager often deflects criticism – a leader addresses it.  A Manager can lead but tends to focus on how things “must be done” rather than on what “must be accomplished.”  Putting his or her own needs above those of others, a manager often creates a sense of “having to do work” through fear of the consequences rather than creating an environment that encourages others to perform.

Leaders typically demonstrate the ability to influence by example to gain the support of others that choose to follow.  They pull others up while rising to the top rather than climbing on top of them as if they were rungs on a ladder.  Leaders understand their “audience” when speaking or communicating – incorporating the needs and desires of the group into the message delivered and the results expected.  Leaders recognize there is no limit as to how much can be accomplished IF they do not care who receives the credit for the work being done.  Further, great leaders put more effort into selling than they do into telling – into securing “buy-in” and sharing ownership than they do making excuses or assigning blame.  They tend to recognize that people (both in the workplace AND within society) contribute more if they WANT to do something than if they HAVE to do something.

Our region needs confident, competent leaders willing to take risks and to grow from their consequences. We need fair and honest individuals willing to lead by example rather than by edict – seeking to motivate rather than intimidate.  Are you a part of the solution or are you a major part of the problem?  Do you anticipate “what might happen” and prepare for it or react to “what has happened” by blaming others rather than accepting the consequences?  Do your actions inspire others to action or encourage them to conspire against you?  A society that expects others to “do as I say rather than as I do” is one that may “get by” but will rarely thrive.

Where have the leaders gone?  Look in the mirror!  We all lead someone or something, be it a business, a family or simply our own existence.  Let your intentional actions reflect positively upon someone else as you fulfill your own destiny.  When individuals receive the tools with which to work (education, experience and/or mentoring) and the environment in which to operate (honest, open, accepting and forgiving) with leadership that encourages growth, there will be no limit to our possibilities.

MUCH CAN BE ACCOMPLISHED WITHOUT RUNNING AWAY

Far too many people think that moving away from a situation – that picking up and starting over – is all they need to do to begin a new life and experience different results given the same effort.  They feel that changing the environment around will drastically alter their lives – will magically cause them to react differently to situations or choose different courses of action.  Not surprisingly, when individuals run away from their worlds they rarely run away from themselves (so “picking up and starting over” accomplishes very little).

People tend to maximize the impact others have on their failures while minimizing their own contribution to negative results.  Likewise, they maximize their personal contributions towards any success while discounting the contribution of others.  They DO NOT realize that distancing themselves from a situation or problem does nothing to eliminate one of the major factors that are tough to run from – that being the person they see whenever they look in a mirror.  We can run from places, situations, relationships and the ramifications of the choices we make but we cannot alter “who we are” or how we react by simply positioning ourselves in a different space or time.  When recognizing the need for change and identifying the steps needed to implement it, “the monster in the closet” that needs addressing is often “us” (and the things we do) rather than “them” (or the things done to us).  Identifying and owning our own role in creating a roadblock to success is vital if we are to overcome the obstacles in front of us.  Realistically establishing what role we played in the success of an endeavor (rather than claiming all the credit while shifting all the blame) will help build “transferable problem solving skills” that will serve us well.

Too many people live in a world of “what is” rather than in one of “what if.”  They like to make excuses for

things that happen “to them” rather than identifying and implementing solutions that change or alter “where they are” so they can become “what they wish to be.”  Nobody is going to make us succeed – we must wrap success around ourselves by considering the ramifications of each action we take and the impact that each choice we make has on the world around us.  We cannot run away from “who” we are – we only shift “what” we are to a new location UNLESS we identify our strengths (and utilize them) as well as our weaknesses (and work on them) so we can own the solutions that are developed through the contributions of many (rather than through our own limited knowledge).  Though a new environment might provide a fresh perspective, it will not change what we do or how we do it UNTIL we identify our flaws and intentionally act to change (or overcome) them. We cannot become something different by moving to a new location, beginning a new relationship or taking a new job unless we change, alter or modify ourselves in such a manner that new initiatives and altered perspectives are probabilities rather than remote possibilities.

Change can be good (if it is intentional rather than accidental and responsive or anticipatory rather than reactive) but we should never “change for change sake.”  Before running where brave men refuse to walk we should ask WHY we wish to move, WHAT we plan to do upon arrival and HOW those actions, thoughts or attitudes will be different than the ones we chose to leave behind.  People cannot be “something different” by simply changing their environment – they must change who and what they are (along with where they choose

to exist) if a “fresh start” is to occur.  We must be unafraid to be different - to stand out from the crowd - if we seek to initiate change.  A change in perspective allows for the creation of new thoughts, concepts and processes while a change of environment only provides new grounds upon which old ideas can be planted.

Change does not come easily – we must intentionally invest ourselves if different results are expected – results that cannot occur if we are doing things the same way we always have done them (even if it might be in a different location).  Words describe what one wishes to accomplish - actions (and results) define success.

IMAGINATION CHALLENGES AND SHAPES OUR WORLD

A person can show great proficiency without exhibiting imagination but an individual will never exercise their imagination by simply accomplishing the work assigned without asking “why” (or, “why not”).  Delivering a standard or anticipated response to a directive often satisfies those willing to do nothing more than the minimum. An understanding of what must be done as well as a verbalization of what might yet be accomplished is demonstrated when one researches enough – or is interested enough – to ask “why not?”

Given the choice between a “doer” and a “dreamer,” I would prefer to live within my imagination than within my reality. A realist accepts only what can be defined and demonstrated – content to accomplish the dreams and desires of others.  Many people live within the memories of their past, dwelling in thoughts of the safe places that brought them happiness and security rather than seeking new beginnings - living comfortably within a sheltered world of previous accomplishments. When life is contained within established thoughts of “what is” and memories of “what has been,” can one ever realize his or her full potential – can he or she even identify “what could be but has not yet been considered?”  I would prefer to live amongst those who imagine what has not yet been proven – has not yet been established – for they will accept nothing less than the great things they are destined to accomplish in this world.

While our memories are necessary to remind us of what we have accomplished – of the things we can do – our dreams provide an indication of what has yet to be, leading us to places not yet discovered. As we bring today’s dreams to fruition, they become tomorrow’s memories, leaving behind the safety and stability that yesterday provided.  Many successful individuals dream of what could be, casting off the limitations of “what is” or “what was” by choosing to reach for the promise and possibility of things that have not yet been realized.  They dwell upon how things might be different than in the past – truly believing that just because something “was” or “is” does not mean it will “always be.”  One cannot be content to live within a world defined by everyday realities when continually seeking unlimited potential and possibility.

For you who find fulfillment within the "way things are" and travel obediently upon the straight and narrow path that leads to a defined destination – good for you!  The world needs individuals that will “do without questioning” as it seeks to fulfill the mundane tasks required to close out each day while moving towards a new dawn.  For those unwilling to live another’s vision or accept another’s explanation of “why” as they seek their own “why not,” endless possibilities that have yet to be imagined are waiting to be realized.

In whatever you do, look beyond the obvious to experience all that life might provide.  Seek “the possible” rather than “the probable.” We need only our eyes to see – but casting and pursuing a vision requires our imagination. We need only our ears to hear – yet recognizing the cause and purpose of a noise requires our understanding.  Immerse yourself within your senses if you seek to fulfill the promise of a new tomorrow – a day that cannot materialize until yesterday becomes a historical “jumping off” point from which growth originates rather than a sacred safe haven that will always provide comfort.

A brave new world awaits those willing to question even those things that are held as true because of past practice or long-accepted policy - those courageous enough to act in a manner not yet imagined by the general public to accomplish things not yet considered possible. While known actions result in predictable results, untested and unproven actions cause equal and opposite reactions - creating new opportunities and fresh challenges that will transform things once considered only possible yesterday into probable advances as we move towards tomorrow.

VALUE THE TIME YOU ARE GIVEN IN LIFE

Why is it that people tend to rush to judgment, hurry up to wait, and do ANYTHING but “stop to smell the roses?”  Though time is seemingly in abundance when we have nothing to do, it passes far too quickly when we would prefer it to stand still.  We seem to worry more about how quickly we can finish the race than we do about the joy found along the way – or even the satisfaction derived from simply crossing the finish line as rest briefly before preparing to pursue the next opportunity.  People far too often worry needlessly about things outside of their control rather than identifying the things over which they have influence and acting upon them.  We fear that slowing down to appreciate the things around us will delay us from accomplishing our goal RATHER THAN adding value to the time spent invested to bring our dreams to fruition.  We often find ourselves slaves to the very clock we so desperately seek to master – trying to burn both ends of a twenty-four hour candle rather than brightening our way in a more measured manner.

I have heard many people complaining about the “lemons in their lives” rather than celebrating the opportunities they might have to make lemonade.  The weather is too hot (yet January and February will almost certainly bring complaints about it being too cold unless global warming exerts itself upon us).  I am too busy to exercise (several acquaintances were in accidents this past year that took from them the ability to freely move about – I’m sure they wish “being busy” was all that kept them from exercising their bodies and their minds).  Rather than finding satisfaction in all they have accomplished, some see only what has not been finished due to a lack of time.  Some constantly seek what they wish they had rather than what they actually possess.  Many elevate the accomplishments of others rather than looking for the difference that their own activities and actions bring about.  We have become a nation of complainers – bringing others down in order to make ourselves look better RATHER THAN elevating ourselves in order to pull others up with us. Perhaps we might take the opportunity to recognize individual accomplishment during this season of Olympic Pride.  Let us openly acknowledge the hard work and sacrifice those willing to “participate in the pain so they can enjoy the gain” put forth, and give freely our praise and encouragement as their efforts elevate them to heights not imagined.

Rather than rushing to judge others, take time to ask WHY someone acted in a way you might feel foolish.  Do not expedite your condemnation – take time to see if YOUR perspective might be the cause of your exasperation rather than another’s actions.  Offer advice and counsel rather than critically dismissing another’s action as being worthless, wrong or misguided.  Doing something for another because they may have done it wrong (or differently than you might have) provides but a short term “fix” as it changes only symptoms rather than altering behavior.  Providing fish gives someone a meal – teaching them how to catch
fish provides a long-term solution.  Telling someone how to do something resolves many a situation.  When we take the time to help identify alternative resolutions we prepare others to act independently in the future. Why hurry up to wait?  If you are going to have to wait anyway, use the time preparing for the journey.  You cannot control another’s behavior – only your own.  We are far too quick to blame and too slow to seek responsibility when we play the hurry up and wait game – often too determined assigning “fault” to seek (and implement) a workable solution.
 
When people rush to see how much they can do or see, they lessen the enjoyment of what they actually saw or accomplished.  They begin to measure life by the number of breaths they take – or the amount of activities they perform – rather than seeking and enjoying moments that might take their breath away or add depth and breadth to their existence.  To accomplish more we cannot merge our days and nights - life needs both light and darkness to exist.  We must remember, however that the bright lights of hope and promise generate the shadows in life that necessarily exist – that without a destination an obstacle standing in our way could never be overcome.

We cannot hold back the hands of time but we must not chase them blindly, racing relentlessly in a
continuous circle around the clock.  We must break free of the sands of time if we wish to conquer their grasp – if we hope to become all that was intended.  Perhaps rather than seeking longevity and good fortune from life, we should seek fullness and meaning.  Perhaps we could better measure our success by how many lives we have touched – by the differences we have made –than by how many things we have done or projects we have accomplished.

EXPRESS INTEGRITY WHEN FACING (AND OVERCOMING) ADVERSITY

When faced with difficult decisions, we all must make choices that are well thought-out and that lead to a planned “end point.”  When given a choice, far too many individuals take the path of least resistance – one that might appear to be more popular – rather than taking “the high road” wherever it may lead.  Perhaps its time we focused on acting ethically and consistently in our dealings with others (rather than acting out of convenience or in our own best interest).  “Integrity” not an object we can seek nor a destination we can find, it is the keystone to all human interaction – a path to follow as we seek to find meaning and fulfillment in our everyday actions.  Integrity is the “high road” upon which we should travel as we build meaningful, trust-filled relationships.  We must demonstrate integrity if we are to lead others (rather than following them blindly) as we travel through life.  Without integrity we cannot achieve consistency.  A path worth following must be based upon facts that are tempered by personal values which can be expressed openly and honestly to others if we expect it to lead to a predictable (and desirable) destination.  Travelling upon such a path will prove fruitful regardless of the circumstances that influenced your initial decision to embark upon that trail.

“Ethics” has become but a word linked to a particular situation or set of circumstances.  Such a linkage would indicate that one’s values and beliefs change depending upon whom we are with or what the situation in which we find ourselves may be.  In life, our environment and those we are with DO change frequently, BUT our value system – our ethics – cannot drift upon the winds if we are to remain an anchor to those around us.  In order to be a contributing part of the solution rather than a significant part of the problem, our values must serve as a rock-solid set of principles to establish and guide proper conduct. This set of principles should ALWAYS influence our decisions and choices, outwardly determining our actions, if we are to express integrity and establish credibility.  Unless our exhibited actions are natural expressions gained through training, experience, and an application of closely held principles in real life situations, however, those depending upon us for guidance will lose confidence in our choices and fearful of our leadership decisions – often seeking other beacons to lead them from danger.

Making purposeful choices – charting a course and sticking with it as long as it leads towards the destination we have chosen – will help us establish respect.  In order to avoid being more “stubborn” than “purposeful,” however, we should be prepared to change our mind (and potentially change our direction) should the situation around us (OR the facts upon which our initial decision was based) be significantly altered.  In life, the only thing that is certain is change – not the direction of change nor the likelihood of controlling change, only the knowledge that change will (and does) happen so we must be prepared to manage it.  The key to making change purposeful is being able to assess the nature of change and act in a manner that embraces the possibilities it brings rather than closing out the opportunities it generates.

Why would one assume the responsibility and accountability for the results of making decisions at the risk of
highlighting their own individual frailty?  Leaders often find themselves placed in a position to make or break relationships, ensure the success of a venture or institution, or bring about the failure of a dream with every decision they make.  Good leaders typically thrive on “making a difference.”  All of us like taking the credit for things when they “go right.”  A good leader will quietly accept the praise for a job done well (often spreading it graciously over the efforts of a team) but will also willingly assume blame for things that went wrong (often individually, sheltering “the team” from outside criticism).  Such a leader will not accept a negative result as being a “final destination,” rather viewing it as but a resting point along the road to success – an obstacle that must be identified, addressed, and leveraged in a way that adds (rather than detracts) value.  Becoming a good leader requires us to praise loudly while blaming softly.  An individual cannot assume this responsibility when he or she consistently strives for the acceptance of others for such transparency clouds the intent of our thoughts and actions.

As we work together to coexist (and, perhaps even more significantly, to co-contribute to the expression and accomplishment of our dreams), we should focus upon our destination as we move steadfastly towards its accomplishment.  There is never a wrong time to make the right decision in life (NOR a decision that cannot be changed should the situation, facts or circumstances change) as long as we dare to be ourselves.  We must be unafraid to demonstrate the strength of our convictions as we face (and overcome) adversity, guided by our morale compass, if we hope to lead others to safety beyond life’s dangerous and rocky shores.

PROVIDING PATHWAYS

People face crossroads throughout their lives.  Some stressful situations are the result of unavoidable circumstances within our daily lives.  Most, however, are a result of our own individual failure to anticipate the potential ramifications of decisions we make (or choose not to make).  An idealist might ask how much stress can be avoided if timely and “correct” decisions that lead to a proper course of action are made BEFORE a difficult situation arises.  A realist would probably opt to consider how much stress is acceptable and what are the most likely avenues of escape when it becomes too much.  An optimist might look at stress as a proving ground – an opportunity to become stronger and prove one’s self-worth while moving towards a better place.  A pessimist might look at stress as a roadblock that makes the path impassable, causing one to turn around and seek the comfort of familiarity rather than forging ahead.  Some take accountability for their stress and share the success that might result from their efforts to move forward.  Others blame failure and complications on someone else while taking credit for gains and personally assuming any growth that might come from moving through difficult situations.

We all play a significant role in our own happiness (or sadness) yet can be major contributors to those same feelings in others depending upon the decisions we make and the directions we choose to take.  Dealing with people is an art.  In order to advance ourselves we must often provide others a “safe passage” so they can come along beside us as they actively contribute.  We should consider each situation we face – each decision we make – as an opportunity to find not only those parts of a solution that might be “partially true” but also what could be “potentially false.” As we provide a path for others to follow (which will hopefully allow them to become a “trailblazer” at some point in time), consider the following:

• Knowing what you want is half the battle.  Expressing what you want WITHOUT stifling creativity by saying how to do it is the other half.  The first question is a half truth – people should not be told exactly how to do things all the time – but they MUST be told what is expected if they are to achieve any fulfillment from their contributions and assisted along the way should they run into temporary obstacles or experience set-backs.
• All people bring a degree of experience and expertise to any situation.  They probably would not be in a position to offer their opinion if they were not at least marginally able to contribute to the resolution of an issue, concern or problem.  As soon as you think (and in some way express) that a question is “stupid,” you have lost all respect.  Not everyone knows the right answers (nor do many know the right questions!), so we should not expect people around us to act without some form of feedback or direction.  Allowing someone to run in whatever direction they choose might be good for their endurance BUT undirected effort and activity can create frustration, waste time and produce ineffective results.
• People are (and should be) expected to contribute to the resolution of a problem or the elimination of troubling situations by applying their individual skills and abilities.  They must also receive appropriate praise and effective correction – targeted towards improved performance – if we expect them to leverage their unique gifts as we develop and implement mutually beneficial solutions.
• Worrying about things or situations around us is a good thing.  Hiding reality from others is not so healthy. While people contributing to the resolution of a situation do not all need to know the same information, the DO need to know SOME information in order to act.  If we wish to be an island, expect to receive the limited rewards that a self-contained eco-system might provide.  When we want to receive all that is available to us – to benefit most from the efforts that a group can contribute – inform those around you what is going on, what will (or will not) work, what obstacles exist (and which are merely bumps in the road) and how they can help.  Letting others become involved is not a sign of weakness – it allows them to get involved in choosing the path to take so that there is “buy-in” to the path chosen – whether it is the “best path” (in our own opinion) or one that will (eventually) lead to the same destination.

Sometimes a “definite maybe” is the best way to work with those around us – expressing neither a strong directive nor an unarguable premise before asking for input and listening for a response from those around us. Provide a passageway by looking back while moving forward – by reaching out while holding back – by running ahead while encouraging others to follow – allowing us to move forward together.  Life does not stand still for anyone.  Allowing others to think their road is a straight and narrow passage to a known future as they travel upon a defined route does nothing to help them grow – it simply allows them to exist!  Providing passageways for them to consider as they move forward in life, however – being available as a resource should the need arise without becoming the only source of direction when the going gets tough – will help develop those around us into functioning contributors to our great society.

MOVING FORWARD REQUIRES LETTING GO

Why is it that when “all has been said and all has been done,” many continue to seek what more they might say and what else they can accomplish?  They seem unwilling to close the door – to move on once a decision has been made – continuously second guessing themselves to the point that “all that was said” becomes meaningless noise and “all that was done” loses its significance.  What may have been a great solution to a tough problem becomes a rest stop rather than a destination.  Rather than dousing the flames they smolder – ready to reignite as they devour our time like a fire feeding upon dry leaves in a forest.  Rather than being put to rest so their talents can be channeled towards the resolution of other issues – so that they can move on to climb other mountains – the steps they have taken and the accomplishments they have experienced become the goal rather than the springboard for future success.  When you feel that “all has been said,” quit speaking and start acting.  When you sense that “all has been done,” turn away from the closed doors so you can begin opening new ones.

It is never wrong to change your mind or shift direction IF the conditions or factors that led to your decision change.  It IS wrong to avoid making a decision or setting a course of action because you fear you may have to change your mind.  When we become paralyzed by our analysis of a situation – unable (or unwilling) to accept the validity of our thought processes once an issue has been identified and a resolution formulated – we establish insurmountable roadblocks that prevent us from moving or doing anything.  We become pawns

to the process rather than stewards of the solution.  We become bound by a need for absolute certainty, losing sight of the possibility that “a fix has been found” allowing us the freedom to consider new opportunities and challenges.  When we focus on finality rather than simply seeking closure, we stifle our ability to innovate.  We limit our ability to take calculated risks that may open new doors when we exerting all our energy nailing shut the doors behind us.  We must shift our vision forward if we wish to let go of the past so we can move ahead into the future – allowing ourselves the luxury of turning around to face forward rather than walking backwards towards an unseen cliff.

In order to thrive we must learn to innovate rather than finding comfort in what always was (because it may never again be)!  We must learn to think of alternatives (rather than simply “doing what is expected") if we wish to taste success.  We must apply our knowledge to new situations rather than memorizing answers to questions that have already been (or may never be) asked.  When all is said and done, our emphasis must be on recognizing accomplishment rather than rewarding effort – or people around us will continue to try proven solutions rather than accomplishing great things.

Everyone wants “change” but few take the time to define what “change” truly entails.  What lies ahead for us?  Is the light at the end of the tunnel one of Hope or is it one of unavoidable Disaster?   Listening to promises of change is never a bad thing in and of itself.  Such promises, however, should always identify what is being targeted AND what the alternative will be.  Seeking change just to alter the present is hollow unless we know – and are willing to accept – the alternative opportunities available when we decide to change (OR the consequences that will necessarily follow should we NOT change).

Before accepting the premise “all that could possibly be spoken has been said and all that could be accomplished has been done,” think about what might be possible (rather than dwelling upon those things that have  already been accepted as feasible or worrying about things that may not work).  Identify where you want to be – intentionally thinking about what must be changed (and what should be left the same) – before seeking the promise an unrealized future may hold (or worse, accepting only the reality of an already fulfilled past).  Embrace the opportunities that an uncertain future offers, moving deliberately forward in an effort to grow from them, rather than worrying about things you cannot control or obsessing over change that is going to happen regardless of what you may (or may not) do.

Individuals either embrace the opportunity of a new tomorrow by consciously (and intentionally) leaving

behind what is not working as they seek what might work OR they are swept up in someone else’s vision without thinking about its ramifications.  Do not fear change – fear only those things AND individuals that refuse to change as you seek to expand your present-day reality into a fresh new tomorrow.  Closing one door usually opens another – but it does not eliminate the opportunity to reopen the door should situations change.  All may never be said – and all may never be done – but we all should recognize and acknowledge “stopping points” from which we can move forward if we ever hope to hear what has yet to be said or experience what has not yet been accomplished.