FINISHING THE RACE

One cannot do only what has been assigned (regardless of how well each individual assignment is performed) if one expects to grow and succeed. Looking back (instead of ahead), remaining content with the present (rather than building upon the present as a springboard to the future), and doing what works (as opposed to seeking what might work better) are all signs of career stagnation. A source of water must be made available if a pond wishes to become a lake. A seed cannot become an oak tree without the proper conditions and nourishment. An individual cannot become “one” with another without caring more for the other than for him or her self. If one wishes to achieve “the possible” rather than being content to accomplish those things that are “probable,” the thoughts, ideas and abilities of others must be leveraged to enhance and transform “what is” into “what could be.” In order to assure life-changing assistance and support is available when needed we should strive to:

1) Clarify the difference between efficiency with effectiveness. An e-mail may be efficient, but a conversation could more effectively resolve an issue without extended “replies and clarifications.” Effective individuals make sure that every investment of time and/or energy has a direct and measurable impact. They rarely waste time or energy doing unnecessary things that “could be done – might be nice” but are not related to the accomplishment of their objectives. Effective individuals accomplish things that need doing in order to move forward – and do them well. Efficient individuals accomplish all things well whether or not they serve to advance their cause or move them towards a defined objective. An immediate e-mail communication may efficiently promote conversation but might not effectively resolve an issue.  When we strive to be EFFECTIVE in all that we say and do, EFFICIENCY will necessarily follow.  While being efficient is an admirable trait, it should be a means to an end rather than an end in and of itself.

2) Avoid the misguided concept of being irreplaceable. If an individual feels that nobody could EVER do what he or she does, that person has probably limited what he or she can accomplish. When we feel nobody could ever do the things we do as well as we do them ourselves – and accept that as an unwavering paradigm – we become so enamored with our abilities that we fail to identify our possibilities. If nobody else can do (or even wishes to try) your job, then you will never advance beyond the rung of the ladder upon which you have firmly positioned yourself.

3) Quit believing that know all the answers. People who know to ask the right questions are much more valuable than those who can give all the right answers. One must always be open to new ideas, techniques, and ways of doing things. We can truly contribute to our organization’s success and profitability – or experience all that life could offer – ONLY after identifying the limitations of current systems, policies, practices or procedures by asking questions as to how they might be improved. Nothing will change, however, until we decide to act – to move forward by implementing the answers received of the questions we asked (rather than doing things as we have always done them because we think we know all the answers ourselves).

4) ALWAYS give credit to others. People recognizing and acknowledging the ideas and actions of others tend to share a never-ending ride to the top – enjoying a seemingly unlimited potential “upside” while tempering their individual risk. Those that take credit for another’s ideas had better like themselves a lot because they may not have supportive friends to prop them up in the future.

5) Add to existing abilities and upgrade outdated skills, refusing to accept “what is” as “what will always be.” What was once necessary to maintain a life-long job or to enjoy a long-lasting relationship is no longer sufficient in today’s ever-changing world. Employees who “fail to know” typically fail to grow – those who refuse to retrain typically will not remain. Unless an individual brings more into a relationship than he or she could ever expect it to return – is willing to give to another more than is taken (unconditionally and without expectations) and seeks to gain more by sharing than by receiving, he or she will never realize the treasures awaiting them just beyond their current reality.

While we may be able to start a race on our own, we need the help, support and efforts of those around us to finish. Life is not a sprint – it is a marathon. To accomplish much, we must give much. To receive support from those around us we must first encourage their individual growth. To rise to the top – to finish the race – we must not only build the foundation upon which we stand (so that we are firmly rooted in our convictions), we must accept the support of those around us as we grow – support possible ONLY because we cared enough to share with those around us.

The Keeper and His Sea…

The Beach is quiet now…
Her sun-worshippers long gone, abandoning Her as the warmth of summer left making the days cold and desolate...
Builders, having constructed their dreams within Her shifting sands…
now returned to their classrooms…
Lovers, having gone their separate ways after making promises to meet again when summer returned…
The gulls, so active during the short season…
now gone in search of a more bountiful harvest.
Leaving only the Keeper of the Harbor - the Guardian of the Shore...
to look after the Sea…

He stands…cold and alone…seeing Her in a different light than those who see only Her summer-time joy as
they seem to pass over Her beauty…
Differently than those who feel but the warmth of Her surface, while passing over the depths of Her soul…
He stands facing the tempest of an autumn storm…
Feeling the biting cold of Her loneliness as She lashes out at the confines of Her reality…as She struggles to

find Herself within the cold, gray dawn…within the expanse of Her emptiness…
He sees Her troubled, turbulent waters as She wakes from the comforting calm provided by night’s shroud of darkness…
Only to face but another day of restless searching...
for a Keeper to understand Her soul...

He treads gently upon Her shores, as though in a sacred temple, feeling Her strength as he walks, sensing Her cries for one who understands Her…soothing her suffering with his presence...
He falls to his knees…absorbs her pain...shares Her suffering…immerses himself within Her sorrow…
then joins in Her confusion as they both seek the same silent peace…
Quietly...solemnly...in an eerie, compassionate moment, they celebrate their freedom…
Before She returns to her solitary essence…
He rising with Her upon the strength of Her tide - immersed within Her reality - becoming one with the power of the Sea.

He pours himself upon Her surface…casts himself into Her depths…walks blindly towards Her
outstretched welcoming arms…

He buries himself within the deep, dark, comforting confines of her waters…

Where the Two become one, beneath Her surface…within Her soul…united together…

Forever…within the comfort of Her depths…finding peace within Her turmoil…enclosed within the safety of Her endless soul…

No longer tortured by the desperate taunting of the consuming storm…

Never again distracted by the seasonal squatters who occupy Her shores…

Forever at rest…the Keeper and his Sea...

ADDRESSING INNAPPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR

Some people possess positive characteristics so distinguishing them from others that they seem to “walk on water.” Others seem to produce positive results in whatever they say or do. Their very presence tends to lift those around them to achieve greatness. We see them as “super stars” shining brightly above all others. These rare individuals do not need much guidance – rather they need clear objectives and general direction from a person willing to get out of their way as they move forward. Unfortunately, these individuals seem to be the exception in life rather than the norm.

We often interact with people seeking success at the expense of others or wanting to win by making others fail. They do not look to see who was stepped on during their ascension to the top or what rules might have been broken along the way. If we are honest with ourselves, rather than looking at how someone does things we tend to focus more upon their results – often elevating individuals to super star status based on the future they may bring without considering the carnage they may leave behind due to their lack of compassion. While many successful individuals rise to the top due to their own abilities, what should we do when we find that a person behaved inappropriately during their ascension? Do we ignore the “ways” in order to enjoy the “means” or should we act intentionally to address the unintended consequences of inappropriate behavior? Too many individuals assume all the credit while assigning only the blame – take the rewards associated with accomplishment while giving all responsibility for action to others. The choice we make speaks volumes to our character and the values we express to others as we live our daily lives.

When addressing a behavior that seems to be inappropriate, look inwardly before striking out. Did YOU do

something to establish (or allow) expectations contrary to generally acceptable practices? Might you have driven the individual into areas outside of his or her core competency (or comfort zone)? When encouraging change, consider the reasons the individual has been successful before condemning him or her for their shortcomings – what they have experiences as “rewards” for the behavior you are now deeming inappropriate. Before addressing an individual’s “bad behavior,” establish how much of the blame YOU should assume and deal with it. Once resolved, identify and address the actions that are causing the problem NOT the individual performing the actions. Attacking an individual behaving inappropriately rarely results in lasting change because, as much as we might try, people do not change much. Instead, address and modify the person’s behavior. Actions are more easily modified than people (who are highly sensitive to criticism) immersed in the drama of life.

Discussing inappropriate behavior is confrontational and never easy regardless of the relationship you may have with an individual. Before speaking, think about observable warning signs or clues YOU may have missed during the time leading up to the indiscretion. Mentally detail the individual’s strengths AND weaknesses (nobody is either all good or all bad – we are a combination of characteristics that make us unique). What is it about the individual that puts him or her above all others? Does the person possess the ability to grow or has the individual gone as far as they are going to go with the talents they possess? Are you willing to suffer a short-term disappointment in order to cultivate a long-term success? A realistic evaluation as to whether the individual is ABLE to grow (rather than simply being willing to try) must be an integral part of confrontation. We cannot force a person to change – he or she must see the benefits of altered behavior as being more significant than the rewards doing nothing differently.

Behavior can be modified ONLY when “the issue” can be addressed and steps can be taken (with consequences attached) to prevent it from recurring – and we should look both “within and without” when making this discovery. We often focus so much on correcting the behavior of others that we lose sight of our own shortcomings. Until we truly acknowledge that we must AND understand why we should change our own behaviors, we will not do things much differently than we are now doing them and should not expect our results to be much different than they have always been. Failing to recognize the need for continuous change and improvement – accepting the status quo as being the only acceptable solution – is perhaps the most inappropriate behavior of all!