MOVING FORWARD REQUIRES LETTING GO

Why is it that when “all has been said and all has been done,” many continue to seek what more they might say and what else they can accomplish?  They seem unwilling to close the door – to move on once a decision has been made – continuously second guessing themselves to the point that “all that was said” becomes meaningless noise and “all that was done” loses its significance.  What may have been a great solution to a tough problem becomes a rest stop rather than a destination.  Rather than dousing the flames they smolder – ready to reignite as they devour our time like a fire feeding upon dry leaves in a forest.  Rather than being put to rest so their talents can be channeled towards the resolution of other issues – so that they can move on to climb other mountains – the steps they have taken and the accomplishments they have experienced become the goal rather than the springboard for future success.  When you feel that “all has been said,” quit speaking and start acting.  When you sense that “all has been done,” turn away from the closed doors so you can begin opening new ones.

It is never wrong to change your mind or shift direction IF the conditions or factors that led to your decision change.  It IS wrong to avoid making a decision or setting a course of action because you fear you may have to change your mind.  When we become paralyzed by our analysis of a situation – unable (or unwilling) to accept the validity of our thought processes once an issue has been identified and a resolution formulated – we establish insurmountable roadblocks that prevent us from moving or doing anything.  We become pawns

to the process rather than stewards of the solution.  We become bound by a need for absolute certainty, losing sight of the possibility that “a fix has been found” allowing us the freedom to consider new opportunities and challenges.  When we focus on finality rather than simply seeking closure, we stifle our ability to innovate.  We limit our ability to take calculated risks that may open new doors when we exerting all our energy nailing shut the doors behind us.  We must shift our vision forward if we wish to let go of the past so we can move ahead into the future – allowing ourselves the luxury of turning around to face forward rather than walking backwards towards an unseen cliff.

In order to thrive we must learn to innovate rather than finding comfort in what always was (because it may never again be)!  We must learn to think of alternatives (rather than simply “doing what is expected") if we wish to taste success.  We must apply our knowledge to new situations rather than memorizing answers to questions that have already been (or may never be) asked.  When all is said and done, our emphasis must be on recognizing accomplishment rather than rewarding effort – or people around us will continue to try proven solutions rather than accomplishing great things.

Everyone wants “change” but few take the time to define what “change” truly entails.  What lies ahead for us?  Is the light at the end of the tunnel one of Hope or is it one of unavoidable Disaster?   Listening to promises of change is never a bad thing in and of itself.  Such promises, however, should always identify what is being targeted AND what the alternative will be.  Seeking change just to alter the present is hollow unless we know – and are willing to accept – the alternative opportunities available when we decide to change (OR the consequences that will necessarily follow should we NOT change).

Before accepting the premise “all that could possibly be spoken has been said and all that could be accomplished has been done,” think about what might be possible (rather than dwelling upon those things that have  already been accepted as feasible or worrying about things that may not work).  Identify where you want to be – intentionally thinking about what must be changed (and what should be left the same) – before seeking the promise an unrealized future may hold (or worse, accepting only the reality of an already fulfilled past).  Embrace the opportunities that an uncertain future offers, moving deliberately forward in an effort to grow from them, rather than worrying about things you cannot control or obsessing over change that is going to happen regardless of what you may (or may not) do.

Individuals either embrace the opportunity of a new tomorrow by consciously (and intentionally) leaving

behind what is not working as they seek what might work OR they are swept up in someone else’s vision without thinking about its ramifications.  Do not fear change – fear only those things AND individuals that refuse to change as you seek to expand your present-day reality into a fresh new tomorrow.  Closing one door usually opens another – but it does not eliminate the opportunity to reopen the door should situations change.  All may never be said – and all may never be done – but we all should recognize and acknowledge “stopping points” from which we can move forward if we ever hope to hear what has yet to be said or experience what has not yet been accomplished.

THE SECRET TO MAKING GOOD DECISIONS

Many of the decisions we face everyday will be made based on “what feels right” rather than a well thought out “cause/effect” response to a defined set of facts – a definitive “cookbook” recipe of right and wrong. Good decision makers see a high percentage of their “judgment calls” result in successful outcomes – often because they listen to the facts available, make a decision ONLY AFTER considering not only what could go wrong but also what could go right, and anticipate alternative directions and responses prior to their becoming necessary. People who fail to thoroughly think through the potential results of their actions BEFORE initiating them often create more negative or “questionable” results than they do positive and should probably avoid roles where making sound decisions is an essential part of their daily routine.

Good judgment is the basis of all positive outcomes when making decisions and is truly an experience-based characteristic. In order to make more “good judgments” than bad we must actively seek a variety of experiences upon which we can draw to make good choices – we must learn from failure or we will fail to learn. Rarely can we assume a position of authority without having first experienced many different roles and responsibilities that allow us to win and to recover from our losses. Visualizing how one situation applies to another – dealing with the practical application of situations rather than just the theoretical facts – is a transition that many find difficult. (Probably the TWO exceptions to this rule are being in a personal relationship or being a parent. No experience or prior knowledge is typically available and there are no “proven methods guaranteed to work.” Reading a book will give you one person’s perspective. Reading many books will provide multiple perspectives. LIVING THROUGH the situation is the only way to gain your own perspective! Perhaps that is why so many people feel at a loss when sharing a relationship or raising children!)

Good choices are more often the result of many small decisions – seeing and reacting to how they impact

each other on the road to a major decision – than the infamous “ah-ha” moment creative and innovative trainers attempt to reveal. Great decisions are the result of careful analysis, thorough investigation, and a conscious, willful implementation of an action plan intended to initiate cautious forward movement. We never have all the answers – nor should we assume we have even asked all the right questions – but when we choose to move it MUST be with a sense of confidence that inspires others to follow.

We must continually expose others within our sphere of influence to new and different situations as we apply our knowledge – allowing them to grow by failing and feeling safe in doing so – if want them to develop their own breadth of experiences from which future decisions can be made independently from our own. Until another is developed and ready to carry on for us we cannot ascend the “ladder of success” as we will never make it past the first rung. When we make ourselves irreplaceably valuable at responding to and putting out fires we find our skills and talents cannot be “spared” to do anything else. The best “doer” in the world often fails as a leader because he or she fails to release what they did well when trying to assume new responsibilities – serving two masters rather than mastering one.

Making good decisions is part of a process rather than an event. As situations change, so should our willingness to shift direction. Once decisions are made we should move on to other challenges rather than dwelling on the action taken and agonizing on those not taken. Time does not stand still nor rest on its laurels - Do YOU?

INITIATING CHANGE REQUIRES INTENTIONAL ACTION

They stood at a crossroads…
     Looking back in an attempt to see how their lives had unfolded...
          Looking ahead towards a future not yet defined.

Their aimless wanderings lay behind them…
     Their paths weaving desperately through the wilderness…
          Coming near then veering away - not ever quite merging into a single trail.

They find strange comfort within the hazy darkness of their individual pasts…
     Gazing back at their towering peaks of accomplishment
          Made greater when seen from the valleys of their despair…

Increasingly tired of their struggles within a thankless world…
     They both sought paths that would lead towards truth…
          Seeking an obscure road that might reveal a brighter future…

What makes us decide to do things differently – particularly if the things we are doing are providing a degree of satisfaction or a comfortable position in life? What makes us wander from familiar paths in search of unknown opportunities?  Why do we seem always to seek what is "on the other side" rather than building upon what we are comfortable and familiar?  Why do some seem content with what they are while others may never be satisfied with their lives?  Often the way we look at what we have (and what we wish to acheive) is driven by the success that comes as a result of what we have done.

We all want success, but far too often success can breed arrogance - which can lead us towards complacency. If we ride a success beyond its effective lifespan, thinking “our way” is the only way, someone else will either assume our position (by improving upon what we do) OR force us to change (by revealing the shortcomings of our established approach). We must actively appraise the things we do – both in our work and our personal relationships – if we wish to remain relevant. We must continually analyze our strengths and weaknesses if we are to remain effective. If we wish to remain successful we must realize the only constant in life is change. We must occasionally stop what we are doing so we can start doing something else!

To initiate change one, three major issues must be addressed. First, as the wanderers realized, we must recognize what we have always done and acknowledging where we have come from THEN start doing something different if we expect altered results. We may serve our customers well but how can we better serve them?   We may be content with the consistency of a current relationship but what can we do to improve it?  Should we change for the sake of change or only to address a specific issue or item that needs to be altered? Whenever we recognize our goals have changed we must move away from our original path onto one that redirects our efforts or we will never be positioned to take advantage of our expanded perceptions.

While identifying what must be done to create meaningful change, paths (and methods) needing abandonment will inevitably be revealed. Can suspension be an effective punishment for someone missing too much time from work? Can an individual communicate effectively without embracing technology and learning how to “entertain” using Power Point? Should we expect an introvert to take the lead during a social encounter? If you have never reached for the sky - never attempted to stretch your horizons - how can you expect to rise above the clouds without intentionally taking a different path than you have travelled before?  In order to travel upon a new road that leads to a different future we must stop doing the things we have always done (even if they may be temporarily effective) in order to realize different results.

One caution that few think of when seeking change, however is that we must avoid abandoning everything we used to do while travelling the road to new opportunities. We must identify and continue doing things that produce growth while we add new approaches that might provide a different reality. Everyone can gaze upwards to celebrate “peaks of accomplishment.” We far too often choose, however, to dwell within our “valleys of despair” as we look up to the seemingly insurmountable challenges that lie ahead of us - holding on to the comfort our darkness provides rather than opening our eyes to the bright light hidden just beyond the horizon. In order to realize meaningful change we should continue doing the things that brought us to our heights while we actively and intentionally discard those that brought us to our knees - find comfort in those things that may have formed us while we seek the fire that will temper us and make us stronger.

People must change more than their outward appearance if they expect their path to shift significantly. We often hear about “new and improved” products only to find nothing but the packaging has changed. Television networks frequently move a failing show from one night to another (without changing the program) to gain viewers from a less competitive time slot. If we are resolved to change we must consciously decide NOT to “stay the course” by innovatively clearing a new path into an unknown wilderness. In order to accomplish change it is important that we continually take stock of what we are doing and where we are going – then actively seek paths that will lead us from complacency to new destinations within this earth we call “home.”

They turned slowly and deliberately…
     Moving forward into the vast unknown that lay ahead…
          Leaving behind the comfort they once knew…
               Embarking deliberately upon a path that would change their lives forever…

An excerpt from “Life’s Path To The Promise of A Dream” by Dave Smith

INTENTIONAL ACTIONS PRODUCE INTENDED CONSEQUENCES

INTENDED actions (those things we think about doing but have not acted upon) often result in UNINTENTIONAL consequences. INTENTIONAL actions, however, produce INTENDED consequences. Should we wish to change the direction and/or course of our lives we must do more than think about what we should do – we must put into action our intentions.

When we intend to do something but do not get around to acting upon our intentions, we have nobody but ourselves to blame when an outcome is other than what we might expect. Intending to leave early for a meeting does not guarantee we will arrive on time (should we actually leave ten minutes late). Intending to work hard around the house does not mow the lawn (until we intentionally start the lawn mower). Intending to get good grades in school does not assure us of a stellar grade point average (should we choose not to study). Intending to visit a shut-in friend or relative does not constitute support (until we invest our time and efforts to do so). Our best intentions are just that – thoughts not put into actions. Whenever we think we SHOULD do something we choose not to (for whatever reason), we are creating an “intended action.” When we intentionally act on our intentions, however – when we examine the alternatives and intentionally bring to fruition an action, we often change the course of our (or someone else’s) life.

When we choose to help another out of a jam (rather than wishing them well) we make a difference in the lives of those around us. Caution should be taken that such help does not become enabling. We should teach those around us how to manage their problems so they might be avoided rather than hiding from them by seeking outside intervention. We will not change anything until we choose to act no matter how noble and honorable our intentions. Action might translate into finding a program or class, securing employment (or new employment), seeking guidance from a knowledgeable resource or moving from your “comfort zone” into new and unfamiliar territory. Regardless, a conscious decision to take intentional action must occur – even if to intentionally and knowingly avoid acting – in order for “change” to happen. We cannot travel a new road until we first INTEND to move then put that intention into action by venturing forward.

We cannot change our (or another’s) future – contribute to anyone’s good – until we CHOOSE to act – to either consciously change or intentionally maintain the status quo. Simply failing to act can be an expression of good intentions – a hollow consideration that will not typically produce a reasonable consequence. Choosing to act (or not to act), however, will result in intended (or at least anticipated) consequences.

Do not let yourself live a life of unintended consequences. Do what you say, say what you do – or what you intend to do – then ACT. Validate your good intentions by bringing them to fruition through focused, intentional action - then move deliberately forward towards the accomplishment of your dreams.

ANSWER THE DOOR SHOULD OPPORTUNITY KNOCK

There are several ways to react when opportunity knocks. Some will seek to shift the blame, excusing themselves from any responsibility for the challenges that life placed before them. They prefer the “easy road” to all the destinations they might choose to visit, finding that “taking the hard road” might be OK – but for someone else. Rarely will you find a risk taker within the ranks of those wishing to travel but paved paths. You would not often find an individualist willing to embrace the bad as a precursor for the good among those seeking “all gain with no pain.” Often those seeking to rise to the top upon the backs of others want all they might ever need without working for it – expecting the same fruits that others enjoy simply because they share the same space and breathe the same air.

Those who seek to accomplish much without giving any are often dreamers whose great expectations and plans are not destined to be realized. They refuse to put forth more than minimal effort to achieve exceptional rewards. They are unrealistic in seeking all that is good without extending from “what is” to “what could be.” Should opportunity knock upon their door it most likely would be turned away rather than embraced. Should it beckon it would be considered a wrong number rather than accepted as a legitimate call.

Others seek to immerse themselves in the issue – becoming an indispensable part of the solution rather than an integral part of the problem. They move forward with measured abandon – seeking paths not yet imagined as they travel upon roads not yet improved. They seek to live out their being as more than simply existing.

These are the gentle giants of this land – accomplishing much because they sacrifice all, seeking all because they hold nothing back. Should opportunity present itself to these they would ask “why not?” rather than focusing upon “why?” They see a hill rather than a mountain. They see a temporary detour rather than a permanent closure. They not only see where they wish to be and envision what they wish to become, they INVEST themselves in making those things become reality. It is these whom are responsible for not only their own growth BUT for the growth of others – not only for their own accomplishments but also for the success of many.

When opportunity knocks, you can ignore it, consciously turn it away or proceed with a resolution. You can embrace it and work diligently to answer its call or hope that it will simply go away – or that someone else will invest the time and energy needed to resolve it. Reach out and open the door when opportunity knocks for you may not be given a second chance should you turn a deaf ear upon the first.

We often see but the surface of opportunity when reality it is a deep inviting pool awaiting our entrance. Take the plunge – you will find that awaiting you is far greater than what you currently enjoy. Reaching the goal may be an accomplishment of huge proportion BUT “getting there” is often more than half the fun.