WE MUST LET GO BEFORE WE CAN MOVE ON…

Why is it that when “all has been said and all has been done,” when there is nothing left to say that will make a difference, many continue to seek what more they might say and what else they can do to achieve the accomplishment they feel should happen?  People often seem unwilling to close the door – to move on once a decision has been made or a situation has been tentatively resolved – continuously second guessing themselves to the point that “all that was said” becomes meaningless noise and “all that was been done” loses its significance as nothing “right” has been accomplished and the proper words were not spoken (or at least not heard).  What may have been a great solution to a tough problem becomes a rest stop rather than a destination to those seeking “perfection” rather than resolution.  Rather than dousing the flames they smolder – ready to reignite as they devour our time like an untended fire spreading out upon the dry leaves in a forest.  Rather than calling something finished so their talents can be channeled towards the resolution of other issues, some cannot “let go” (because of their sense of perfection or their need to have all the details right before being convince to move on) so very little “new” is ever accomplished (though much “tried and true” can be validated, confirmed and completed).   Two vital and critical steps to letting go and moving on would be that when you feel “all has been said,” quit speaking and start acting – when you sense that “all has been done,” turn away from the closed doors so you can begin opening new ones.

It is never wrong to change your mind or shift direction IF the conditions or factors that led to your decision change.  It IS wrong to avoid making a decision or setting a course of action because you fear you may have to change your mind at some point in  time – that we become paralyzed by our analysis of a situation, unable (or unwilling) to accept the validity of our thought processes once an issue has been identified and a resolution formulated.  Unless we accept resolution (even if for a short period of time until situations, circumstances or conditions change) we establish insurmountable artificial roadblocks that prevent us from moving in any direction or accomplishing anything.  We become pawns to the process rather than stewards of the solution.  We become bound by a need for absolute certainty, losing sight of “the possible” that provides with the freedom to consider new opportunities and challenges rather than doing ONLY what has always been done before (to achieve the same outcomes that have always been achieved).  When we focus on finality rather than simply seeking temporary and acceptable closure we stifle our ability to innovate, motivate and shift directions as needed to identify new frontiers and sail upon uncharted waters.  When living under the cloak of “fearing failure” we limit our ability to take calculated risks that may open new doors moving forward (which remain out of our reach if we expend all our energy trying to nail shut the doors behind us).  We must shift our focus from where we have been (and are comfortable) to where we wish to be (regardless of the risk or anxiety change may cause) if we wish to let go of the past so we can move towards a new (and potentially bright) future – allowing ourselves the luxury of turning around to face forward rather than walking backwards towards an unseen cliff.

Everyone wants “change” but few take the time to define what “change” truly looks like.  Is the light at the end of the tunnel one of Hope or is it one of unavoidable Disaster?   Listening to promises of change is never a bad thing in and of itself.  Such promises, however, should always identify what is being left behind along with what the alternative might be.  Seeking change just to alter the present is hollow unless we are willing to accept the differences that are expected when we decide to change (OR embrace the consequences that will necessarily follow should we choose NOT to change).

Whenever we decide to change we must identify where we want to be – intentionally thinking about what must be changed (and what should be left the same) – before seeking the promise an unrealized future may hold (or worse, accepting only the reality of an already fulfilled past).  We must embrace the opportunities that an uncertain future offers, moving deliberately forward in an effort to grow from them rather than worrying about things you cannot control or obsessing over change that is going to happen regardless of what you may (or may not) do.  Individuals either embrace the opportunity of a new tomorrow by consciously (and intentionally) leaving behind what is not working as they seek what might work OR they are swept up in someone else’s vision without thinking about its ramifications.  Do not fear change – fear only those things AND individuals that refuse to change as you seek to expand your present-day reality into a fresh new tomorrow.  Closing one door usually opens another – but it does not eliminate the opportunity to reopen the door should conditions or circumstances change.

In order to thrive we must learn to innovate rather than finding comfort in what has always been (because today will never become tomorrow).  We must learn to think of alternatives (rather than simply “doing what is expected") if we wish to taste success.  We must apply our knowledge to new situations (rather than memorizing answers to questions that have already been asked and answered).  When all is said and all is done, our emphasis must be on recognizing accomplishment rather than rewarding effort – or we will continue to answer questions with proven solutions rather than accomplishing great and not-yet realized things.  In order to initiate change we must recognize that one must move forward if he or she ever hopes to hear what has yet to be said or experience what has not yet been initiated – and that holding on to what we do (know or are comfortable with) MAY keep us from realizing our full potential or accomplishing what was once thought impossible.

MAKING SOUND DECISIONS

Whether you feel it best to simply avoid them, live in frustration because of them or view them as an opportunity to shine, decisions are a necessary part of life.  Though some parents (and supervisors) try to protect others from the consequences of poor choices by catching them before they fall – preventing them from experiencing any negative ramifications by insulating them from failure – nobody is completely isolated from the decision-making process.  Some may wish they had a map that would provide a definitive route upon which to travel but the road to change is fraught with danger.  Others would like a detailed instruction sheet so that they know that the actions they ultimately take have a high likelihood of succeeding – preferring to act in ways that would guarantee predictable and consistent results rather than potentially significant rewards if a chance of devastating loss might also be present.  A select few, however, view each decision that faces them as an opportunity to choose which road to take, what path to follow, when to climb (or circumvent) a mountain as they celebrate the chance to act intentionally and exercise independent judgment to accomplish new and different things.

There are as many approaches to making decisions in life as there are people living it – and therein lies the problem.  Since no two people are alike, no two decisions will be alike, either.  There are very few absolutely “correct answers” to a question (though some may be better than others) NOR is any one answer completely wrong (as each solution presents different variables towards the resolution of an issue).  Regardless of the situation, the level of disruption or magnitude of change required, any intentional action taken is better than inaction or unintentional action that results in unintended consequences.  Reviewing and refining the possible actions we could take prior to acting helps to minimize risk and maximize success but far too often individuals delay their actions by dwelling upon why they should not act rather than considering why they should.  A fulfilled and worthwhile life is truly the ongoing result of what we choose to do and the actions we take (or intentionally choose NOT to do or take).

Making solid decisions that result in life-changing experiences requires careful consideration, intelligent planning and intentional action. Most successful individuals establish rules they use to hold themselves accountable for their actions (or their intentional lack of action) so that progress can be monitored and modifications implemented along the way rather than waiting until a destination is reached only to find that it is not where they wanted to go. While everyone lives by some set of values and ethics, some of the rules that provide the “highest return on investment” in the decision-making process would include:

·  It is OK and natural to dislike parts of any job, situation or relationship. It is NOT OK to avoid, refuse to do, or ignore the parts you dislike – or to discuss openly your dissatisfaction with others not having a need to know your opinion.  We accomplish much more when we move forward with a positive attitude than we do if complaining as we go about things we cannot influence or control.  Good decisions are the result of intentional disruptions or informed conformity.

·  It is OK to make a mistake but not OK to repeat the same mistake. Everyone that makes decisions will make their share of wrong decisions.  You have probably never initiated action if you are never wrong.  Most prefer that every choice they make would lead them to prosperity BUT it is OK to make a wrong decision on occasion as long as a lesson was learned.  Learn from your errors, using them as a springboard to leap forward when making decisions based on firm principles and reasonable information.  People will usually work with you – help you make intelligent decisions) – as long as you continue to show measurable progress or the ability (and willingness) to grow.

·  Focus on things you can control rather than worrying about those you cannot. Identify obstacles that are within your sphere of influence so you can remove them and act accordingly.  Actively seek to eliminate the hurdles that are outside of your control by giving them up to someone having the ability to influence or change them.

·  Lying, cheating, or stealing is intolerable if one expects to be valued or respected during the decision making process.  If you are the best performer or individual with the highest results – but those results came through dishonesty or at someone else’s expense – you will not be respected, credible NOR working (or participating in an ongoing relationship) for very long.  It is always more profitable (but much harder) to elevate others and bring ourselves along than to raise ourselves and expect others to grab on as we pass them by.
           

·  Results are recognized – effort is merely a means to the end. Do not seek praise for working hard or contributing greatly – recognition will follow the successful completion of objectives (and will be given to all involved).

·  All individuals may speak, question, and have a voice in any decision but that does not mean all votes are equal. Life is not a democracy.  Input is valued but the individual responsible for the ultimate success of any endeavor must make (and live with the results of) the final decision. Do not confuse “equal” with “equitable” as you live life – nor a democracy with efficiency.

·  Nothing is impossible in life.  While some solutions may not be cost-effective, are seemingly impractical or beyond our ability to implement, “I cannot,” “It is not possible,” and other self-defeating attitudes should not be allowed to enter (or rule) our lives.  Well thought-out solutions to issues you may encounter while doing your job (or during life in general) are not reasons for celebration, they are simply expectations of the way you should continually exhibit and utilize your abilities while striving for new decision, actions or solutions.

Everyone comes to a fork in the road – a decision point that forever changes what they have done or where they are going – redirecting all efforts and activities towards the accomplishment of what has yet to materialize.  Do not walk blindly upon an uncharted path or you may end up missing a turn and becoming helplessly lost within an impossible maze – unable to find an end OR return to the beginning for a fresh start. Establish the rules YOU choose to live by then keep them close to you, guiding your steps and actions as you consciously and intentionally decide to act AND act to implement your decisions.

DO YOU HAVE A PERSONAL MISSION STATEMENT?

Every organization must have a mission – a vision – a reason for “being.”  Unless an organization exists to fulfill a specific (and necessary) purpose – to produce a product or provide a service – it will not survive. Unless consumers or a market segment needs a product or service (it has, creates or enhances value), the best or largest “supply” in the world will not be “in demand” enough to justify its ongoing presence.  Though a business can (and does) impact society by providing jobs, work is a necessary part of the process of producing results NOT the result of an organization’s efforts to create meaningful activity.  Work without purpose may keep an organization busy (for a time) but will not produce the income needed to sustain its activities.  An organization will not be able to attract and retain employees unless it can clearly and definitively communicate what kind of work is expected to be done, how “success” will be measured and how results will be rewarded.  Without a mission, an organization cannot focus its resources towards the accomplishment of an identified purpose, choose the direction it should go or qualify the decisions it must make as it establishes itself as being a vital and contributing part of the business community.

In order to be effective, an organization’s mission statement must clearly (and concisely) define why a business exists, what it does, and (sometimes) who it serves in a way that can be easily remembered and communicated by all involved in its accomplishment.  Nike has established the phrase, "To bring inspiration and innovation to every athlete in the world" as its mission statement – implying what it does by who it serves.  "Our mission: to inspire and nurture the human spirit one person, one cup and one neighborhood at a time" is the stated purpose of Starbucks Company, never mentioning coffee but referring to the inspirational experience it hopes to provide.  Coca Cola’s mission, “To refresh the world - in mind, body and spirit; To inspire moments of optimism - through our brands and actions; To create value and make a difference everywhere we engage” states what the company does without ever saying what it produces.  Kohl’s mission, “To be the leading family-focused, value-oriented, specialty department store offering quality exclusive and national brand merchandise to the customer in an environment that is convenient, friendly and exciting” says what it is without limiting itself to any one particular product or brand.  The Employers’ Association’s mission is “To provide practical Human Resource solutions to West Michigan business promoting operational excellence and sustainability,” defining what we provide, to whom it is provided and what our service is intended to accomplish.  While no two mission statements are the same, each successful enterprise must be able to state why it exists by communicating what product, service or value is being provided in a way that people understand – and can hopefully easily remember when a need materializes.

Individuals often accept that business needs a mission – a purpose and reason to exist – but fail to transfer that essential reality to their own lives.  In order to establish value in ourselves, everyone needs to establish a PERSONAL mission statement to guide individual actions, efforts and activities.  A personal mission statement is a bit different from a company mission statement, but the fundamental principles are the same – it provides clarity and a sense of purpose.  It defines who you are and how you will live. When we drift without purpose towards an unidentified objective, we will take a long time to accomplish nothing.  While we cannot miss a target unless it has been clearly identified and posted – cannot fail unless we establish goals and objectives – life without purpose becomes meaningless.  A sailboat needs a sail (to capture the wind) and a rudder (to set a course) if it is to move forward.  It needs a keel to stabilize its journey and an anchor to hold it in place during times of rest.  Though there are many parts and pieces that work together to make a sailboat move ahead, unless a destination has been identified and deliberate action is taken to move towards it, the best wind, the most favorable seas and the mildest conditions will be wasted unless a “reason to sail” has been established.  Unless we (personally) know what we wish to accomplish through the actions we take and the decisions we make, we will never learn what we need to know (do or understand) in order to add value (to ourselves, our friends or our society) as we seek to make a difference in this life.  We must dedicate our actions, our efforts and our thoughts towards the accomplishment of SOMETHING if we hope to accomplish ANYTHING.

Writing a personal mission statement offers the opportunity to establish what is important, often allowing us to make a decision to stick to it before we waste energy and resources without knowing where we might want to go.  As we establish a personal mission statement, we should seek to ask the right questions rather than trying to provide the correct answers – to expand our horizons to regions we have not yet explored rather than limiting them to our “known and comfortable” universe.  An individual mission may be as simple as “I will make a difference in all I say or do,” or “I will live everyday with Integrity and vow to make a positive difference in the lives of others utilizing my knowledge for the good of all people.” It may a “short term” objective like, “I will complete my education so that I can pursue a new career.”  It may be as complex (and convoluted) as, “I will pursue knowledge that can, through intentional actions and experiences, be transformed to wisdom.  I will apply wisdom to advance myself (and others around me) while seeking and establishing new opportunities that add value to my life and my community.  I will never give up (though I may occasionally give in) while realizing all that I might hope or imagine myself to be.”   Make your dreams become reality by “memorializing” them in writing – by telling another about them so they can hold you accountable for their fulfillment.  However you wish to establish a personal mission statement, consider Steven Covey’s reference in First Things First – that it must connect your own unique purpose with the profound satisfaction that comes from fulfilling it.  Life fulfilled is life worth living!

MOVING FORWARD REQUIRES LETTING GO

Why is it that when “all has been said and all has been done,” many continue to seek what more they might say and what else they can accomplish?  They seem unwilling to close the door – to move on once a decision has been made – continuously second guessing themselves to the point that “all that was said” becomes meaningless noise and “all that was done” loses its significance.  What may have been a great solution to a tough problem becomes a rest stop rather than a destination.  Rather than dousing the flames they smolder – ready to reignite as they devour our time like a fire feeding upon dry leaves in a forest.  Rather than being put to rest so their talents can be channeled towards the resolution of other issues – so that they can move on to climb other mountains – the steps they have taken and the accomplishments they have experienced become the goal rather than the springboard for future success.  When you feel that “all has been said,” quit speaking and start acting.  When you sense that “all has been done,” turn away from the closed doors so you can begin opening new ones.

It is never wrong to change your mind or shift direction IF the conditions or factors that led to your decision change.  It IS wrong to avoid making a decision or setting a course of action because you fear you may have to change your mind.  When we become paralyzed by our analysis of a situation – unable (or unwilling) to accept the validity of our thought processes once an issue has been identified and a resolution formulated – we establish insurmountable roadblocks that prevent us from moving or doing anything.  We become pawns

to the process rather than stewards of the solution.  We become bound by a need for absolute certainty, losing sight of the possibility that “a fix has been found” allowing us the freedom to consider new opportunities and challenges.  When we focus on finality rather than simply seeking closure, we stifle our ability to innovate.  We limit our ability to take calculated risks that may open new doors when we exerting all our energy nailing shut the doors behind us.  We must shift our vision forward if we wish to let go of the past so we can move ahead into the future – allowing ourselves the luxury of turning around to face forward rather than walking backwards towards an unseen cliff.

In order to thrive we must learn to innovate rather than finding comfort in what always was (because it may never again be)!  We must learn to think of alternatives (rather than simply “doing what is expected") if we wish to taste success.  We must apply our knowledge to new situations rather than memorizing answers to questions that have already been (or may never be) asked.  When all is said and done, our emphasis must be on recognizing accomplishment rather than rewarding effort – or people around us will continue to try proven solutions rather than accomplishing great things.

Everyone wants “change” but few take the time to define what “change” truly entails.  What lies ahead for us?  Is the light at the end of the tunnel one of Hope or is it one of unavoidable Disaster?   Listening to promises of change is never a bad thing in and of itself.  Such promises, however, should always identify what is being targeted AND what the alternative will be.  Seeking change just to alter the present is hollow unless we know – and are willing to accept – the alternative opportunities available when we decide to change (OR the consequences that will necessarily follow should we NOT change).

Before accepting the premise “all that could possibly be spoken has been said and all that could be accomplished has been done,” think about what might be possible (rather than dwelling upon those things that have  already been accepted as feasible or worrying about things that may not work).  Identify where you want to be – intentionally thinking about what must be changed (and what should be left the same) – before seeking the promise an unrealized future may hold (or worse, accepting only the reality of an already fulfilled past).  Embrace the opportunities that an uncertain future offers, moving deliberately forward in an effort to grow from them, rather than worrying about things you cannot control or obsessing over change that is going to happen regardless of what you may (or may not) do.

Individuals either embrace the opportunity of a new tomorrow by consciously (and intentionally) leaving

behind what is not working as they seek what might work OR they are swept up in someone else’s vision without thinking about its ramifications.  Do not fear change – fear only those things AND individuals that refuse to change as you seek to expand your present-day reality into a fresh new tomorrow.  Closing one door usually opens another – but it does not eliminate the opportunity to reopen the door should situations change.  All may never be said – and all may never be done – but we all should recognize and acknowledge “stopping points” from which we can move forward if we ever hope to hear what has yet to be said or experience what has not yet been accomplished.

THE SECRET TO MAKING GOOD DECISIONS

Many of the decisions we face everyday will be made based on “what feels right” rather than a well thought out “cause/effect” response to a defined set of facts – a definitive “cookbook” recipe of right and wrong. Good decision makers see a high percentage of their “judgment calls” result in successful outcomes – often because they listen to the facts available, make a decision ONLY AFTER considering not only what could go wrong but also what could go right, and anticipate alternative directions and responses prior to their becoming necessary. People who fail to thoroughly think through the potential results of their actions BEFORE initiating them often create more negative or “questionable” results than they do positive and should probably avoid roles where making sound decisions is an essential part of their daily routine.

Good judgment is the basis of all positive outcomes when making decisions and is truly an experience-based characteristic. In order to make more “good judgments” than bad we must actively seek a variety of experiences upon which we can draw to make good choices – we must learn from failure or we will fail to learn. Rarely can we assume a position of authority without having first experienced many different roles and responsibilities that allow us to win and to recover from our losses. Visualizing how one situation applies to another – dealing with the practical application of situations rather than just the theoretical facts – is a transition that many find difficult. (Probably the TWO exceptions to this rule are being in a personal relationship or being a parent. No experience or prior knowledge is typically available and there are no “proven methods guaranteed to work.” Reading a book will give you one person’s perspective. Reading many books will provide multiple perspectives. LIVING THROUGH the situation is the only way to gain your own perspective! Perhaps that is why so many people feel at a loss when sharing a relationship or raising children!)

Good choices are more often the result of many small decisions – seeing and reacting to how they impact

each other on the road to a major decision – than the infamous “ah-ha” moment creative and innovative trainers attempt to reveal. Great decisions are the result of careful analysis, thorough investigation, and a conscious, willful implementation of an action plan intended to initiate cautious forward movement. We never have all the answers – nor should we assume we have even asked all the right questions – but when we choose to move it MUST be with a sense of confidence that inspires others to follow.

We must continually expose others within our sphere of influence to new and different situations as we apply our knowledge – allowing them to grow by failing and feeling safe in doing so – if want them to develop their own breadth of experiences from which future decisions can be made independently from our own. Until another is developed and ready to carry on for us we cannot ascend the “ladder of success” as we will never make it past the first rung. When we make ourselves irreplaceably valuable at responding to and putting out fires we find our skills and talents cannot be “spared” to do anything else. The best “doer” in the world often fails as a leader because he or she fails to release what they did well when trying to assume new responsibilities – serving two masters rather than mastering one.

Making good decisions is part of a process rather than an event. As situations change, so should our willingness to shift direction. Once decisions are made we should move on to other challenges rather than dwelling on the action taken and agonizing on those not taken. Time does not stand still nor rest on its laurels - Do YOU?

RULES OF ENGAGEMENT

Life is full of opportunities, challenges, suggestions and directions – all working to guide our paths as we accomplish our daily activities.  While many have adopted “gems of wisdom” handed down through previous generations to help guide their actions, influence their decisions and help establish their sense of values, over the years (along with the “golden rule” and other biblical principals) I have developed several concepts that help mold my personal decisions (that I have listed below).  When we feel we “have arrived” and know it all – when we can stop learning and coast through life with the knowledge we have accumulated – is when we actually stop living and begin only to exist.

• If given the option of doing something right or doing it quickly, choose doing it right. 
• Do not make a decision until (and unless) you are willing to accept the consequences of your actions.
• Newton had it right – every action results in an equal and opposite reaction.  Do not act
  without considering what will change, who will be effected and whether more good than bad will be brought into play.
• Life is not an isolated event having one beginning and one end.  It is a series of starts and stops
  
  – of new beginnings arising from short-term plateaus rather than of abrupt endings without thoughts of continuation.  If you do nothing else in life, enjoy what you do.  If you seek nothing else from life, seek what you wish to accomplish.  Should you ever feel that “all has been said” and “all has been done,” run quickly from where you are – get back onto the circle of life where every end is but the beginning of something new and different.
• Spending time to improve ourselves often provides an immediate return.  Spending the same time to improve others pays dividends in the future that are incalculable to us today.
• It is better to live life without fearing death than to fear death so much that you fail to live life. 
•  Life is full of activity and of rest – of visions and of voids.  Refresh during times of rest so you
  can accomplish much during times of activity.  Perhaps more importantly, make sure no void ever goes unfilled.
• When you say things without worrying about how they will affect others you build a ceiling that limits how far you may rise.  When you say things without caring how they affect others you reduce others so that you might easily rise above them without having to elevate yourself.  Only when you rise with the help and assistance of others will the sky be your limit.
• Turning out the lights indicates closure on things we have accomplished.  Reaching for the stars exposes new opportunities we have not yet seen.  I would prefer spending my time looking into the light than staring into the darkness.
  
• When reaching out to help others, make sure you provide the tools they need to accomplish great things rather than only the great things they want.  All your help and efforts become but a disservice if an individual receives “the world” without learning how to achieve (and maintain) greatness through their own efforts and abilities.

Please feel free to reply to this list with additional insights and “rules of engagement” you rely upon to help develop your actions, interactions and attitudes.

DO YOU CONVERSE OR DO YOU COMMUNICATE?

Far too many people believe having the ability to CONVERSE is the same as being able to COMMUNICATE.  They believe that if one can talk effectively they will be able to influence the behavior of others.  They are firm believers in the principle that “he/she who speaks last is right” so will talk an issue to death rather than allowing someone else to have the “final say.”  Rather than recognizing that individuals have two ears and one mouth (which should be an indicator of importance – redundancy is necessary for critical components) they think since the SIZE of a mouth is larger than the size of two ear canals it MUST add more value to exercise the vocal cords than the ear drums.

EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION is a sum of several important parts – not simply words spoken or sounds heard.  When we communicate is should be “for a purpose.”  What are we trying to say or accomplish?  Why should someone invest valuable time to read an article or join into a conversation?  What do you wish another to TAKE AWAY from an article, discussion or directive after they have read, heard or seen it?  In order to communicate effectively we must:

• Listen actively
• Speak thoughtfully
• Establish and assign ownership of a shared vision or idea while transferring accountability with responsibility
• Intentionally follow-through to make sure expectations are met and objectives are accomplished
• Allow mistakes to become learning experiences rather than death sentences
• Praise openly and honestly – criticize privately and quietly
• Provide a return for the investment that another makes in reading your article, listening to your conversation or taking your advice

To communicate well we must identify what we wish to accomplish – figure out what we want our

communication to change, alter or enhance – before we begin to talk, write or “tweet.”  Politicians often seem to say whatever they think you want to hear – in a manner convincing enough to make us forget what they may have said yesterday or what they will be saying tomorrow. They are typically highly effective communicators but may be lacking as conversationalists (where listening and speaking must closely align).  Politicians (and other effective public speakers) identify what they want their audience to “take away” from a speech – often abandoning their principles or core values in order to appease the masses.  A good conversationalist enters a debate with his or her ears (and mind) wide open so that their discussions can be focused and targeted to the listener AND actionable when the conversation is done.  Ineffective communication is often “telling.”  Effective communication often becomes overt “selling” resulting covertly in "telling."

One of the more critical aspects of communication is silence – that space where listening becomes active and saying nothing helps to formulate direction.  When one is speaking, he or she is not actively listening.  When planting your thoughts and concepts it is hard to harvest the bounty another might offer.  When we try to be heard above the noise around us, we often lose sight of the fact that a whisper can be much more effective in a quiet, listening room than can be a shout in a crowded building.  Silence often creates discomfort – but it is not YOUR responsibility to fill every void with the sound of your own voice.  Allow silence to be deafening at times – echoing within the space left vacant of conversation as if it were an angry sea pounding upon the
shore of an exposed shore.  Allow your thoughts and ideas to permeate the moments of silence that listening (rather than talking) might create – then EXPRESS the thoughts into encouraging words in order to motivate

change.

Effective Communication is more than talking – it is artfully transforming words into actions through carefully directed compromise that produces “win-win” situations rather than creating and fostering a “win-lose” mentality.  When you wish to share experiences, thoughts, feelings or dreams – converse.  When something absolutely, positively needs to be accomplished (on time) – when an action must result in an equal and opposite reaction that changes a condition or behavior – communicate.