BE A PATH MAKER RATHER THAN A PATH TAKER

Have you ever met someone who sets a course in life based on how many others are doing the same thing?  Rather than identifying problems, investigating root causes and intentionally setting into motion the actions that would resolve issues in an individual and/or unique way, the path of least resistance is chosen as these individuals travel upon roads that others take and make “safe” (commonly acceptable) rather than “right” (based on fact rather than the opinion of others) decisions.  Perhaps it might be better (though possibly more difficult) to seek individuals who seems to consistently and continuously “take the high road” in the way things are done and choose the path less traveled (rather than the path of least resistance) when making decisions – for knowing (and associating with) such a person will invariably lead to success.

Far too many people diminish their potential by following the crowd (doing what is “right and prudent”) rather than following their own beliefs.  They seek popularity (or at least acceptance) rather than standing strong on their own values, judgments and decisions.  They choose to blend into the majority rather than the criticism that standing alone often brings.  They accept that things are as they should be rather than seeking what could be possible if established systems and familiar processes were to be challenged.  The “throng” tends to validate itself by thinking, “We are no different than anyone else – the same as all others with whom we associate” rather than believing, “We are all unique individuals whose potential is limited only by our individual actions and behaviors.”  The attacks our society mounts against individuals seeking to make a difference through non-conventional methods or untested thoughts and processes are often enough to discourage all but the brave to forge their own path.  By homogenizing our unique characteristics into a single melting pot that can be universally accepted by all, “the many” seek to stifle the ability of all but a rare and outspoken few to make a difference in the world.  Allowing this to happen – either explicitly through participation or implicitly through acceptance – diminishes one’s ability to think, act and contribute in a meaningful way.

  

Following the crowd is easy.  Anyone can do what others accept, go where others are going, act as others act and find a sense of community by blending in. Travelling familiar roads and doing things the way they have always been done can take the bumps and turns out of our journey BUT when we do things as they have always been done we can expect nothing more than has already been accomplished.  When we move forward by focusing upon where we have been and what we have done we cannot truly see where we are going or what might be accomplished.  While teaching our granddaughter to ride a bicycle I found myself telling her to “look where she is going rather than watching where she has been” if she seeks to achieve success without falling – an axiom that should apply to all we say and do in life but is often abandoned as we seek acceptance and validation by others.   Only when we accept that much can come from seeking a different reality than that chosen by the crowd will we realize that loss can become gain, failure can breed success, and the decision to stop can be either a conclusion (accepting that what is will always be) OR a new beginning (failure is a detour rather than a dead end on the road to success).  Followers of a crowd tend to accept the group’s destination as a place to land while those seeking to make an individual difference often build their future from the stopping point accepted by others as being “good enough.”

Too many supervisors seek acceptance from those they lead rather than striving to earn their respect.  Too many parents seek to be friends with their children (and their acquaintances) rather than role models.  Too many teachers want to be “liked” by their students rather than viewed as being “tough but fair.”  Too many of our political leaders make decisions based on polls that measure what the majority think they should do rather than doing what might negatively impact the majority IF a decision or course of action might be best for the values (and sustainability) of our nation.  When forging a path using our personal strengths, values and character we tend to lean towards greatness in all that we say, do and accomplish.  Alternatively, when we try to make ourselves look better by pulling others down – making ourselves look good by tarnishing another’s reputation or diminishing their abilities – we often find ourselves travelling upon roads fraught with hazards, pot holes, barricades and dead ends. 

What kind of transformations might take place in our nation (and in YOUR life) if more decisions were made (and courses of action taken) driven by “rather than…” thinking?  What might YOU be able to accomplish – what potential might you be able to realize – were you to “march to your own drummer” and forge your own path rather than listening to (and following) the music made by others?  You will know (and be able to realize) your true potential ONLY should you choose to accept the risk and opportunity that individuality brings – leaving behind the comfort, support and (often) false security that being “one of the crowd” provides. Only those choosing to be path makers rather than path takers can truly rise to the top.

TRANSFORMING DREAMS TO REALITY

We must never try to be someone we are not.  Many individuals start the New Year with fresh “resolutions” to do something (or be something) different.  Unless there is more gain from the change, however, than pain from NOT changing, such corrections rarely prove effective.  People change very little once they have established their basic values, patterns and thought processes.  It is often easier (and more effective) to leverage an individual’s strengths than it is to try to change their shortcomings.  As a “well known philosopher” (Dr. Suess) once so aptly proclaimed, "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."

The Holidays are a great time for people to sit back and dream – about what they have (or do not have), who they are (or who they might wish to be), and what they want to do differently so that they can achieve an altered result.  One must first imagine something as being a possibility before it can become a probability – yet "Dreams take time, patience, sustained effort, and a willingness to fail if they are ever to be anything more than dreams." (Bryan Linkoski).  Unless (and until) we dream of something different, nothing will change.  If, however, we wish to have change without recognizing where we are or what we are currently doing and consciously initiating a course of action that will move us from our present towards our “wished for” future, we will never feel the “thrill of victory” as we will be helplessly mired within the “agony of defeat.”

While “failure” is not a desired (nor welcome) outcome of change, dreamers often recognize that there is a very real possibility they may not achieve immediate success.  Robert F. Kennedy said, "Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly."   Individuals whom have truly made a difference in this world understand that failure is not the worst thing that might happen to them – failing to try is a far more impactful (and personally devastating) choice.  While much intentional thought and deliberate action is required to succeed, individuals making a difference in life recognize that nothing of significance is ever accomplished without having to overcome criticism, conflict and doubt as they move from the established road to a path less traveled.  Further, if thoughts are to become reality, the word “impossible” must never be considered.  While facts, information and well-considered alternatives are the building blocks of change, when our dreams become real to us – taking on a life of their own as we strive to fulfill the possibilities that they present – the facts do not really matter.  What we BELIEVE we tend to ACHIEVE – it is those things we only wish and hope for (without acting upon) that often fail to materialize.

Life is a series of starts and stops – of closed chapters and of new beginnings.  Most have heard that insanity is doing things the way they have always been done while expecting the results to change.  If we are to realize change it is important that we not only recognize the need for altered behavior as we plan for a different outcome but that we also intentionally ACT to make it happen.  Knowing the facts and understanding how to make change happen does not ensure transformation.  Even if we know what must be done AND recognize our role – realizing the path that must be taken should we choose to leave where we are in pursuit of what we wish to be – we will be run over and left behind if we just sit and consider what the next steps might be.

During times of change – of altered perspectives and intentional actions that create potential conflict and send us into uncharted waters – many seek to follow individuals more willing to take risks.  They hope for the rewards earned by those willing to risk much by hitching their wagons to another’s star.  They seek equality rather than equity in the world – often pulling down those who are successful, taking from them the fruits of their labor in an effort to narrow the gap between “those who have and those who have not.”  Think about how much could be accomplished (and achieved) if “those without” would be willing to accept the tools necessary to narrow the gap and learn how to use them to elevate themselves (rather than hoping to receive what they feel they deserve).

Mark Twain once said, "Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first." We are not “owed” success – we must identify what WE consider to be success before seeking ways that might move us from possibility to probability then INTENTIONALLY ACT to make our hopes and dreams become reality if we are to start fresh and experience change.  What might be possible if everyone worked towards an elevated goal rather than accepting their current reality as an end?  Imagine the heights we could achieve if all attempted to reach the top of their mountain rather than being content to rest in the shadows and valleys.  Think of the dreams that might be brought to fruition if all viewed their present position in life a starting point rather than a destination – a beginning rather than an end.  Make 2016 a year of transformation by thinking big and acting audaciously – embracing (without fearing) failure and accepting (without hesitation) each opportunity or challenge that enters your life.