INCLUDING OTHERS ON YOUR ISLAND PROMOTES SUCCESS

Many people feel they can “go it alone” rather than including others when making decisions. In order to establish and maintain accountability for our thoughts and actions, however, we need input from others to challenge, validate and support our direction, decisions, and aspirations.  While most of us are able to move forward through much of life on our own, we find encouragement to keep moving when we might prefer to rest if others are encouraged (or at least allowed) to walk beside us. Before we can expect others to join us, however – to care enough about us to invest their time in making us better – we must first accept that others CAN play a significant role in our success…that we are better WITH the input and perspective given to us than we are when relying solely upon our own thoughts, experiences, and solutions. 

The first step in the acceptance of others onto our island is to discover our own potential – fully assimilating the beauty of what is possible into the reality of our lives. Before we could hope to have another see value or worth in us, however, we must identify our individual strengths and weaknesses, realizing the role that each might have in our development AND to our detriment. We must recognize and accept what is possible (even if highly improbable), what is probable (even if unlikely), and what might be fiscally irresponsible (the potential cost far outweighing any possible gain). People that can make an individual difference tend to celebrate success rather than looking for weaknesses…they assume blame rather than assigning fault…they focus on what has “gone right” rather than upon what has “gone wrong.” Rather than identifying the deficiencies of others and using those as an excuse NOT to change themselves, successful people compliment what was done well rather than focusing upon what “was not done” or “could have been done much better. They often attempt to change behavior by identifying deficiencies that need altering (becoming important as the identifier of another’s problems) rather than by encouraging the “cloning” of healthy behaviors and attitudes. 

People acknowledging (and relying upon) only their strengths often enter relationships to “fix” those around them – never fully exposing themselves to the scrutiny that true friendship (or “community”) brings. Those that limit themselves by accepting their shortcomings and deficiencies as ceilings rather than floors often sell themselves short when it comes to achieving success. These individuals avoid their own emptiness or darkness by reflecting another’s light or fullness through the pronouncement of a relationship. They find personal success through the accomplishments of others (claiming credit for their results) – or by elevating their own minor successes by minimizing those of another. They tend to deflect negative attention from themselves by directing it to another - often influencing the way others are perceived while appearing to be “above it all” in their personal interrelationships. Island living IS NOT about being alone but rather being all that is possible by becoming all that we can be. 

No relationship – whether it be in business or in your personal life – will grow unless we establish an expectation of what we hope it might become then work hard to bring that dream to fruition. Some say that setting low expectations will keep them from ever failing or being disappointed. What kind of a meaningful relationship could develop from the premise that what “is” will never change – that wherever a relationship began is where it will eventually end – exhibiting no growth.  A relationship serves no valuable purpose if the melding of beliefs, values, ideals, and accomplishments are intended to advance each individual more than it enhances the group. If one benefits from the input of another, think how much could be accomplished should several come together, openly sharing thoughts and ideas without fearing loss, reprisal, or repercussion. 

Choice is the key to success. Unless and until we CHOOSE to move forward, to leave behind or to seek new pastures, we live our lives more by fearing the pain of failure than by expecting and anticipating the rewards of success – we may survive but will rarely thrive. Relationships focusing on why things did not work or how they could have been done differently are destined to fail. Those using (accepting and learning from) failure as a springboard towards implementing new and different solutions are more likely to succeed. Believing that the “light at the end of a tunnel” is an opportunity yet to be realized rather than a train heading towards you on a collision course reflects the assimilation of dreams into our daily relationships – the acceptance of “what has yet to become” becoming a precursor of reality rather than a harbinger of never-ending turmoil. 

When people lose sight of their goals, coming to rest upon the side of the road before accomplishing their dreams, they cannot find fulfillment and often fail to persevere. When we travel alone, we are more likely to lose our way – why should it be any different as we live life?  The realization of dreams is linked to how effectively your strengths can be focused as we travel unfamiliar paths that encourage new ideas – and unless our thoughts are challenged by others holding us accountable for the results promised, how can we ever achieve anything beyond what we already know and accept as being possible? Accepting that our own (or another individual’s) weaknesses are insurmountable often results in our believing that failure is not just a possibility but rather a foregone conclusion. When we truly believe that the accomplishment of anything is possible – and that nothing can diminish or replace the unwavering power borne through a strong and trusting relationship – only then will we be able to experience the impact others have on us by sharing our island – when others work together to achieve more than any one individual might accomplish. 

While one man (or woman) may think he (or she) is an island, they will not experience all life has to offer until accepting that to live we must share life – and that we are only as strong individually as is the group of close friends, peers, or co-workers we have around us.