INFLUENCING AND MOTIVATING OTHERS TO SUCCEED

Whether managing people, relationships, situations, teams, products, processes, your temper or yourself, someone has written a book guaranteed to make you an expert.  Since there are far fewer managers than people being managed in this world, however, I’ve often wondered why so little attention has been given to influencing “from the bottom up” rather than to managing from “the top down.”   In that we are all human, whether or not we manage, I would like to propose seven “keys” to making yourself more influential as you interact with others.

1)                  Recognize it is your responsibility to SELL an idea, NOT someone else’s responsibility to BUY the concept.  Good salespeople identify and relate to the needs of the buyer, not their own needs.  While making a sale will obviously benefit the seller, a buyer must recognize why he or she will benefit from his or her buying decision before a sale will ever be consummated.  Remain positive and upbeat, focusing on what YOU can do to “make things right” rather upon what others could do to make things fail.  Until you truly “sell” change, you will be but an implementer rather than an initiator. 

2)                  Consider how change will impact “the whole” rather than how it might advance your personal objectives.  Since most people are hesitant to abandon the status quo, if you want something to be different than it is, you must convince others that the promises of change are better than the comforts of staying the same.  In order to initiate change, every individual must take full responsibility for being understood.  If you wish to influence another’s actions you must clearly demonstrate how resultant change will positively impact that individual, the organization, their environment, and their future

3)                  Present a realistic cost-benefit analysis of your idea as you define and communicate value.  Whether it be a major corporate decision or a family vacation, be prepared to have a realistic discussion on the cost of change as well as the results of change.  Acknowledge that implementing your idea will probably mean that someone else’s idea was not used.  Recognize that whenever anything has changed in history, the benefits of change have outweighed the costs.  It is your job to clearly communicate this if you expect to be heard.

4)                  Treat those you are communicating to with the same respect and courtesy you would like yourself (OR that you would utilize with a customer).  Recognizing that the person to whom you are communicating IS your customer when presenting an idea or concept will help you be a better salesperson.  Within your personal relationships, “dictating” might be a quick remedy…but selling (rather than telling), discussing (rather than imposing)…will be much more effective over the long run.

5)                  When a conclusion is reached, whether or not you fully agree with it, adopt the final decision as your own.  Many ineffective influencers will “own” decisions with which they agree and “credit others” with the ones they may not have wholeheartedly supported.  Remember that you will not always “win” when influencing upwards, but you will gain tremendous credibility if, after all the discussions and debates, you own any solution that is not illegal, unethical or immoral.  We can always live to fight another day as long as we don’t impale ourselves upon the sword of principle today.

6)                  NEVER advance an idea without having a sincere belief it will make a difference…regardless of who might receive the credit.  If we lose sight of the result of our ideas, focusing instead on getting credit for the concept, we often discredit others to make ourselves come out on top.  When we consciously make others feel that they are right or responsible, rather than continually elevating ourselves into a role of infallibility, our ideas have a better chance of implementation.  Assuring our desired results are realized will provide for better long-term rewards than will being recognized for short-term contributions.

7)                  Rather than focusing on what has (or has not) happened, dream about what has yet to occur.  Far too many individuals are haunted by what went wrong… losing sight of what went right…as their ideas come to fruition.  When we are mired in a world of failure we cannot possibly reach out towards success.  When we focus on “what did not happen” it is difficult to consider what could still be done differently to alter results before they become “final.”  When we accept “what is” we cannot realize “what could be.”

We all invest tremendously in the acquisition of knowledge.  Until we learn to sell our ideas, however, rather than expecting others to simply buy them from us, our knowledge will never be leveraged into positive change.  We must look forward rather than backwards…convincing others to travel along the winding road with us…if we ever expect to influence change.  We must acknowledge that we are capable of achieving more than we might think possible (as long as we are willing to invest our time, talent and abilities into realizing the transition) if we expect to initiate change. 

 

It is not enough to recognize change is needed for us to become all that we might wish to be.  We must understand the ramifications of complacency (as well as the rewards of transformation) and the gains of doing something (which must be greater than the pains of doing nothing) if we are to grow and succeed (or influence and motivate others to thrive).  We will never be able to encourage others to grow unless (and until) we recognize our own potential.

KNOWLEDGE: A REQUIREMENT FOR – BUT NOT A GUARANTEE OF – WISDOM, SUCCESS OR HAPPINESS

We are told from an early age that knowledge is the key to success.  If we learn we will achieve.  If we set our sights high when establishing our goals and objectives – and work hard to equip ourselves with the knowledge to accomplish our goals – great things will happen.  For most, the sky has been painted as “the limit” to success.  In front of each of us lies an endless continuum of possibilities – as long as  we pay attention in school, learn what is presented and “never stop learning” throughout life.  I would disagree with this simplistic approach as knowledge alone seems NOT to be the key to anything.

Wisdom is the application of knowledge.  Just because someone knows facts, details or information does not make them a leader, a teacher or a success.  Individuals chosen to participate on the TV game show Jeopardy demonstrate a vast base of knowledge – an unending ability to recall what many would consider arcane facts and an astounding grasp of history, trivia and culture – BUT do nothing to demonstrate any more success outside of this knowledge-based niche than anyone else.  I have met many intelligent individuals who possess all the “book knowledge” available to them yet lack the common sense and practical experience to make a good decision or know which way to turn given the unguided choice.  The application of knowledge through wise choices, decisions and actions that anticipate consequences (both planned and unintended) is what truly defines success – particularly if we do not care who gets the credit for the results that are achieved.  Knowledge allows us to think about issues, topics and challenges from many different perspectives.  Wisdom (the application of knowledge), allows us to succeed by putting knowledge into action.

Not all individuals are “wired” to attend college.  Some learn through books – and we need educated teachers, engineers, doctors, managers and other professionals to study, practice and learn so they can lead, teach and create.  Others, though, can make a difference by applying the knowledge they attain to situations that do not require a college degree.  Trade schools provide knowledge that can be applied within technical careers (manufacturing, tool and die, machinists, carpenters, mechanics and a plethora of other significant occupations that contribute greatly to society).  Certificate programs can focus learning to a narrow slice of knowledge that can be directly applied to a defined situation or a specific career.  Though our grade schools and high schools equip us with information that is vital and necessary to survive in this world, we must continually stretch our knowledge base throughout life so we can accept new challenges by applying our knowledge wisely to the elimination of roadblocks or the expansion of our responsibilities.  When we learn we plant the seeds of prosperity.  When we apply our knowledge we are able to see it grow into endless fields of opportunity.

Many have been told that “knowing is believing” when it comes to understanding something or accepting the resolution that has been enacted.  Knowing is actually nothing unless it is associated with action, responsibility, accountability and focused follow-through.  We can know much without making a difference unless (and until) we put our knowledge into action.  We can know much without making a difference unless we take responsibility for our actions – learn from our mistakes – then move on to accomplish our next objective.  We can know much without making a difference until we act on our beliefs, assumptions and thoughts so that something can be moved forward rather than being allowed to stagnate. 

We should seek knowledge but strive for ways to apply what we learn to better ourselves and those around us.  We should establish goals and seek to accomplish them but understand success is not simply the fulfillment of a stated objective having no purpose or meaning.  Success is not measured by what we have or what we do but rather by what we are able to accomplish with the gifts we are given and how we can apply the knowledge we attain – how we are able to impact, influence or enlighten others as we demonstrate wisdom through the application of all we know and all we have experienced.  It is not elevating, enabling or providing for others – it is fulfilling our own potential as we vacate a “station” in life which another can fill IF they, too, wisely apply their knowledge.

Nothing changes unless and until something changes.  When we seek knowledge it should be purposeful – with all learning directed towards the accomplishment of an objective or the realization of a dream.  Knowing for the sake of knowing may allow us to win the game of Jeopardy but applying what we know to the accomplishment of everyday problems, issues and situation will allow us to win the game of life.

THINK BIG THIS COMING YEAR IF YOU WISH TO SUCCEED...

Change, like life, happens with or without any help from us.  Growth, however, comes only through our intentional actions.  People love and hate change at the same time.  While wishing for things to remain the same in our lives (comfort, security, job, environment, friends, relationships), we really want them to get better (rarely wanting discomfort, negative change or inconvenience in our lives). Wanting it “both ways,” we often refuse to invest the necessary “sweat equity” to make change happen.  When handed to us, we are more than happy to take it.  We are less likely to actively identify areas needing change then intentionally acting to put them behind us while moving forward in a different direction – leaving behind what is comfortable (and holding us back) while hoisting our sails to capture the winds of a new tomorrow (venturing into unknown territory holding not yet realized opportunity).  Though we may not always know where the winds will lead us, simply catching hold of their endless power will help us to move from our current reality to a future possibility without becoming caught in the calm between what was and what could be.

Some random thoughts to help maintain focus along the journey from what we know to what we might only imagine – from what is to what could be – would include:

 

·         The only way of finding the limits of the possible is by going beyond them into the impossible. (Arthur C. Clarke)

When we restrict our actions, reactions and responses to the ways and methods we have always used, nothing will change.  Only when we dare to act in ways we have never before acted – to think in ways we have never before thought – will those things that were once beyond our reach become possible.  In order to maximize the likelihood we will succeed, however, we must acknowledge the resistance we will face, respond to the concerns our detractors will present, and present a plausible, acceptable alternative (which is more desirable, beneficial or providing of more opportunity) than the status quo.  To move from where you are to where you wish to be, and perhaps even beyond to where you have not yet imagined, tear down the walls that limit you to what you have always known or you will end up doing what you have always done and being what you have always been.

·         Nothing will ever be attempted if all possible objections must first be overcome.  (Samuel Johnson)

Allowing an individual to learn from failure is possibly one of the best learning techniques we can use.  When a person must turn back due to unexpected rapids after charting a course and setting sail, two things happen.  First, the individual will (hopefully) learn form his or her mistake by recognizing the signs of turmoil and acting to avoid them before venturing into the unknown again (recognizing the need to continue as being the critical component of learning).  Secondly, though, and perhaps more important, we must identify the reason success was delayed and correct the error, mistake or poor judgment in a way that allows us to overcome the obstacles that kept us from progressing towards the accomplishment of our goal.  Learning by experience is much more beneficial than listening to someone else say which way to go or what road to take.  We should plan, anticipate and think of reasonable alternative approaches prior to starting any task BUT avoid “analysis paralysis” (refusing to move forward if there is ANY chance that something might go wrong allowing our fear of failure to diminish our chances of success).  When we never leave the blocks we cannot compete and it becomes impossible to finish the race.

·         The only person who never makes mistakes is the person who never does anything.  (Denis Waitley) 

Life is not a carefree path we take while moving towards an idyllic destination.  Life is fraught with pitfalls, traps, snares and impossibly steep embankments.  It would be nearly impossible to go through life without making a mistake so quit trying to be perfect!  Some of the world’s greatest inventions have been the unexpected outcomes from failed experiments.  Our greatest presidents frequently tasted defeat before they were elected.  Many business owners have failed in an endeavor before experiencing success.  Once a path has been taken that leads to a dead end – a process selected that results in set-back – learn from it so your next steps can be successful.

• Knowing is not enough; we must apply.  Willing is not enough; we must do.
  (Johann Wolfgang von Goethe)

Value is established not by what we know but rather by how we can apply it.  Wisdom is the result of applied knowledge.  Knowing that a car needs an engine, a transmission, an electrical system and a variety of other mechanical parts does not make you a mechanic.  You must apply what you know to be of any use to anyone.  I could THINK about fixing a car all day long but nothing would happen until I pick up a wrench (then without proper education, training and knowledge my efforts might cause more harm than good).  Any action creates an opposite and equal reaction, both in physics and in life.  Intentional action is a prerequisite to change.  Plausible and acceptable actions – often outside the normal realm of reasonable and expected responses – are the precursor of success.

·         Risk more than others think is safe. Care more than others think is wise. Dream more than others think is practical. Expect more than others think is possible.  (Cadet Maxim)

As you dive headlong into life, remember that you will get from life only what you put into it.  I have seen individuals slide through life expecting (and receiving) very little.  Some say they set low goals so they will not fail – that when the “bar is low,” nothing will keep them from crossing it.  I choose a different path – and so should you.  Take calculated risks in order to increase your chances of success.   Choose to care more about others than you care about yourself.  You might be surprised how rich and free you life will be in return. Choose to dream enough so that you can experience new horizons when bringing dreams to fruition.  You cannot fulfill another’s dream (no matter how hard you might try), only your own.  As for expectations – you will never rise higher than you expect yourself to rise, nor fall lower than you allow yourself to fall. 

·         Focus more upon “what has yet to be done” than “what has been completed” when seeking change.  Acknowledging and recognizing your weaknesses helps identify the causes of problems – developing and leveraging your strengths produces long-term solutions.  (Dave Smith)

Do not focus upon what cannot be done – continually stretch to achieve those things that have not yet been attempted, reach outcomes that have not been previously accomplished, or choose paths that nobody has yet dared to travel.  Do not seek an escape from reality – embrace the potential around you.  Do not dwell upon what has been done – seek what has yet to be realized.  Always expect more than may seem possible – refusing to accept anything previously accomplished as anything more than a resting point as you seek yet to be discovered destinations – and you will surely taste success during the coming year!