VALUE YOUR TIME AND FIND JOY IN THE JOURNEY

During this time of unprecedented “isolation,” many are grumbling about all they cannot do rather than all that might be possible.  Why is it that people tend to rush to judgment (particularly of others) without trying to find “the story behind the story?”  Too many hurry up to wait and do anything but “stop to smell the roses” or try to accomplish all that really NEEDS to be done rather than all that they may WANT to be done.  We seem to worry more about how quickly we can finish the race (the lawn, the wash, the cleaning) than about the joy along the way — or even the satisfaction derived from simply crossing the finish line (eventually even if not “first”).  People far too often worry needlessly about things outside their control rather than identifying the things over which they do have influence and acting upon them.  The “stay at home” order is a reality – perhaps a huge inconvenience and a potentially crippling blow to our economy, but a reality that we – as creative individuals – have the ability to work with and through but not ignore or pretend it does not exist.  Fearing that we do not have the time to slow down – to appreciate the things around us because of the unrealistic expectations we sometimes place upon themselves – makes us slaves to the very clock we desperately seek to master as we try to keep ourselves busy to the point of exhaustion so we can complete a journey rather than seeking the enjoyment along the way as we move towards completion.

Many people complain about the lemons in life rather than celebrating the opportunity to make lemonade. The summer weather is too hot (yet January and February will almost certainly bring complaints about it being too cold)...I cannot stay at home because there is nothing there to do (while complaining there is too much to do when in the office so they never make it home on time)...I hate being alone at home (when many have a family that could be loved, relationships that could be strengthened and appreciation that could be shown).  Rather than finding satisfaction in who they are, what they are becoming and all they have accomplished, some see only what has not been finished due to a lack of time, what others are not doing and how the inability of someone else to contribute is getting in the way of what is not getting done. They spend time wishing they had something more rather than being grateful for what they have – wanting what another might have rather than seeking how they might be able to access things that are truly important.  We have become a nation of complainers who find satisfaction in bringing others down in order to make ourselves look better rather than elevating ourselves so we can pull others up with us.  Perhaps we should choose not to rush to judge others by taking the time to ask WHY someone acted in a way we might feel is foolish or ill-advised. Rather than expediting our condemnation, we should take time to consider that our own perspectives (expectations and frustrations) might be the cause of our exasperation rather than the well-intended actions of someone else that just do not fit into our inflexible reality.

Think about how much our words might matter if we offered advice and counsel rather than critically dismissing another’s action as being worthless, wrong or misguided.  While not everyone agrees with the short-term impact that the Governor’s (and the President’s) decisions are making on their lives – and the immediate impact may seem dark and irreconcilable – what has been decided is done so perhaps it is better to work with it rather than complain about it.  Complaining about decisions over which we have absolutely no control provides a short-term “fix” as it allows us to “vent” about our misgivings.  Unless (and until) we take positive action (sometimes which might include enjoying the things we would not have been able to see had we done things the way they have always been done to achieve what has always been accomplished) we will not be able to develop realistic expectations so we may never taste the satisfaction of accomplishment.

Why hurry up to wait? I have been passed by countless drivers rushing to get to a destination that might include half empty parking lots, ravaged grocery shelves and vacant offices as they refuse to leave the deserted passing lane upon which they choose to travel.  If you are going to have to wait anyway, use the time preparing for the journey. You can only control your own behavior. Each individual must take responsibility for his or her own actions so that they might be able to enjoy the rewards (or deal with the repercussions) that result from those decisions.  If someone is frustrating you by being late, use the time productively to think about how you might be able to change the situation. Avoid the senseless feeling of angst caused by another’s thoughtless action by taking something you can do while waiting.  If you can arrive early to a meeting, maximize your time by doing so but call ahead to make sure it is alright with the person you are meeting rather than showing up unannounced. If you are going to be late, call ahead to ask if it is alright or if you should reschedule. At least your tardiness will not be holding others up.  Perhaps focusing on your own flexibility (which you CAN control) will help to make your journey more enjoyable than fretting about another’s inflexibility (rudeness, tardiness or lack of purpose) over which you truly have no control.  Rather than worrying about all that is not happening or not getting done during these times of health crisis, what COULD you be doing to better yourself or help others?  Far more can be accomplished in life when we truly draw a line in the sand and step forward without looking back rather than simply putting out toe over the line but never moving beyond it.

People can be far too quick to blame and too slow to seek responsibility.  They far too often assign fault and transfer blame as to why something cannot be accomplished rather than to seek a workable solution and ensure its implementation.  Some measure the moments of their life by counting the number of breaths they take – the number of things they accomplish or the magnitude of their success. Might not a better measure of our lives be to track the number of moments we can discover that take our breath away – the depth and breadth of our accomplishments or the impact of our relationships? Spend time during the coming “weeks at home” to immerse yourself in the beauty our region provides – the depth of the relationships we have with the families that surround us.

Though we cannot alter the reality in which we find ourselves living we can stop chasing the hands of time as they race relentlessly around the clock. The sands of time will not bury us if we become the master of our own universe by taking the time to appreciate not only where we are going but also how, when and if we chose to arrive. Stay safe during these troubled times but be practical.  Use the time you may not have wanted to accomplish things you had not previously imagined and enjoy sights, relationships and activities that you may once have made yourself too busy to recognize.  Should you add this attitude of discovery to your daily routines when life begins to return to normal, what could possibly stand in your way from reaching the realistic destinations you establish when focusing upon what you can control, influence or change.