INCLUDING OTHERS ON YOUR ISLAND PROMOTES SUCCESS

Many people feel they can “go it alone” rather than including others when making decisions. In order to establish and maintain accountability for our thoughts and actions, however, we need input from others to challenge, validate and support our direction, decisions, and aspirations.  While most of us are able to move forward through much of life on our own, we find encouragement to keep moving when we might prefer to rest if others are encouraged (or at least allowed) to walk beside us. Before we can expect others to join us, however – to care enough about us to invest their time in making us better – we must first accept that others CAN play a significant role in our success…that we are better WITH the input and perspective given to us than we are when relying solely upon our own thoughts, experiences, and solutions. 

The first step in the acceptance of others onto our island is to discover our own potential – fully assimilating the beauty of what is possible into the reality of our lives. Before we could hope to have another see value or worth in us, however, we must identify our individual strengths and weaknesses, realizing the role that each might have in our development AND to our detriment. We must recognize and accept what is possible (even if highly improbable), what is probable (even if unlikely), and what might be fiscally irresponsible (the potential cost far outweighing any possible gain). People that can make an individual difference tend to celebrate success rather than looking for weaknesses…they assume blame rather than assigning fault…they focus on what has “gone right” rather than upon what has “gone wrong.” Rather than identifying the deficiencies of others and using those as an excuse NOT to change themselves, successful people compliment what was done well rather than focusing upon what “was not done” or “could have been done much better. They often attempt to change behavior by identifying deficiencies that need altering (becoming important as the identifier of another’s problems) rather than by encouraging the “cloning” of healthy behaviors and attitudes. 

People acknowledging (and relying upon) only their strengths often enter relationships to “fix” those around them – never fully exposing themselves to the scrutiny that true friendship (or “community”) brings. Those that limit themselves by accepting their shortcomings and deficiencies as ceilings rather than floors often sell themselves short when it comes to achieving success. These individuals avoid their own emptiness or darkness by reflecting another’s light or fullness through the pronouncement of a relationship. They find personal success through the accomplishments of others (claiming credit for their results) – or by elevating their own minor successes by minimizing those of another. They tend to deflect negative attention from themselves by directing it to another - often influencing the way others are perceived while appearing to be “above it all” in their personal interrelationships. Island living IS NOT about being alone but rather being all that is possible by becoming all that we can be. 

No relationship – whether it be in business or in your personal life – will grow unless we establish an expectation of what we hope it might become then work hard to bring that dream to fruition. Some say that setting low expectations will keep them from ever failing or being disappointed. What kind of a meaningful relationship could develop from the premise that what “is” will never change – that wherever a relationship began is where it will eventually end – exhibiting no growth.  A relationship serves no valuable purpose if the melding of beliefs, values, ideals, and accomplishments are intended to advance each individual more than it enhances the group. If one benefits from the input of another, think how much could be accomplished should several come together, openly sharing thoughts and ideas without fearing loss, reprisal, or repercussion. 

Choice is the key to success. Unless and until we CHOOSE to move forward, to leave behind or to seek new pastures, we live our lives more by fearing the pain of failure than by expecting and anticipating the rewards of success – we may survive but will rarely thrive. Relationships focusing on why things did not work or how they could have been done differently are destined to fail. Those using (accepting and learning from) failure as a springboard towards implementing new and different solutions are more likely to succeed. Believing that the “light at the end of a tunnel” is an opportunity yet to be realized rather than a train heading towards you on a collision course reflects the assimilation of dreams into our daily relationships – the acceptance of “what has yet to become” becoming a precursor of reality rather than a harbinger of never-ending turmoil. 

When people lose sight of their goals, coming to rest upon the side of the road before accomplishing their dreams, they cannot find fulfillment and often fail to persevere. When we travel alone, we are more likely to lose our way – why should it be any different as we live life?  The realization of dreams is linked to how effectively your strengths can be focused as we travel unfamiliar paths that encourage new ideas – and unless our thoughts are challenged by others holding us accountable for the results promised, how can we ever achieve anything beyond what we already know and accept as being possible? Accepting that our own (or another individual’s) weaknesses are insurmountable often results in our believing that failure is not just a possibility but rather a foregone conclusion. When we truly believe that the accomplishment of anything is possible – and that nothing can diminish or replace the unwavering power borne through a strong and trusting relationship – only then will we be able to experience the impact others have on us by sharing our island – when others work together to achieve more than any one individual might accomplish. 

While one man (or woman) may think he (or she) is an island, they will not experience all life has to offer until accepting that to live we must share life – and that we are only as strong individually as is the group of close friends, peers, or co-workers we have around us.

 

DO NOT AVOID THE OBVIOUS WHEN DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE

Some people are more patient than others when it comes to working with difficult people. These leaders will typically balance the positives someone brings to the table against the negatives – and as long as the scale tips more towards the “good” than it does to the “bad” they will probably tolerate more than an outside observer (OR other employees) might think prudent. Good leaders seek to encourage individual input while guiding the efforts and acknowledging the accomplishments of a group without stifling creativity…maximizing the ability of all to contribute by subtly filtering the more disturbing qualities a difficult person might express and incorporating the positives into the initiation of actions conducive to improving the team. Tolerant leaders tend to focus on results rather than on processes…on contributions to the whole rather than individual recognition – feeling that as long as the objective is achieved why worry who receives the praise? These leaders probably live more in a world of “where can we go?” rather than in one of “where have we been?”  Over time, though, all leaders need to understand how best to “deal with difficult people” by incorporating their (oftentimes) intelligent creativity into a thriving (but easily disrupted) environment while, at the same time, avoiding the perception of paying more attention to the “troubled ones” and allowing the “shining stars” to fade away into the night.

Difficult people often like to speak their mind and get their way. They dislike being told “no” without a solid, rationale reason (and even then, if the reason is not their own, may not accept it easily). Their contributions are often minimized (within a group) by its lack of acceptance (a group does not like a cocky know-it-all or one whom never gives recognition to others) regardless of how valuable the individual’s contribution COULD be. Difficult people tend to talk more than they listen, to act more than they show restraint, and to hide their own inadequacies by dwelling upon everyone else’s “wrongs” or “mistakes” – claiming to be “better than the worst” rather than striving to be better than the best. Rather than continuously raising their own level of performance, difficult people tend to set themselves as the “bar,” downgrading others and forcing them to assume a subservient role or intentionally diminishing their ability to contribute. One characteristic seems to hold true within all situations – difficult people focus on themselves, their perceived abilities, their own actions, their own feelings, and their own “way,” often losing sight of a common goal or the thought reaching a visionary destination together. Recognizing the tendencies that make people difficult is a necessity if one is to channel their negative energy into something that can add value to a team (particularly one that may perceive the individual as disruptive, disturbing, or even dangerous BECAUSE react and respond to obvious negatives rather than seeking or acknowledging any positives that might be brought to the mix). Recognizing the power that difficult people can have over a functioning team is critical BUT an effective leader must act to meld the positive into a team while deflecting the negative…to intentionally demonstrate the value of the difficult person’s contributions to the team’s results and outcomes.

Difficult people are everywhere in our lives. People often chose one of several options when dealing with them – often predicated by past experience and/or learned confidence. MOST people will typically:

• Ignore them (hoping they will go away)
• Minimize conflict by listening to them (whether or not we intend to act on what they say)
• Avoid interacting with them whenever possible
• Resist until we are beaten down enough that we “do things their way” rather than arguing anymore, OR
• Worry ourselves sick about the problem without ever simply addressing the issue.

While selfishly effective (except, perhaps, for the last choice – which is latently disastrous to the effective functioning of a team), do any of these responses really resolve the problem OR are we simply avoiding the obvious – escaping into an internal “safe place” and causing others to silently suffer with us when we ignore the pain and live with the team’s results? To effectively deal with difficult people we must identify a common goal, talk about how we are going to get “there from here,” discuss what road signs we should see along the way to verify the path we choose is going in the right direction, assign ownership (responsibility AND accountability) to actions THEN establish (clearly and concisely) expectations, ramifications if disruptions occur, and establish who is in charge. In that this last action is typically the most confrontational, it must be firmly stated and conditioned by things you are willing to follow-through on (i.e., do not say “this will happen or else” unless you’re willing to follow-through with the promised consequences. Making hollow threats and conditions minimizes both your credibility and your ability to manage.).

Functional teams can (and possibly should) include people who are “different” from all others within the team so that alternative ideas and perspectives can be included within the team’s thought processes BUT it must also remain focused, headed in the right direction, AND have someone monitoring progress to maintain accountability. Do not avoid your responsibility as a leader to “respond to the obvious” by providing that focus, the filter, AND the fulfillment of all team members.

HOW GREAT LEADERS MAKE GOOD DECISIONS (MOST OF THE TIME)

We all make decisions – many based on “what feels right” rather than some “cookbook” recipe that defines exact considerations resulting in a predictable outcome. A high percentage of “judgment calls” result in successful outcomes for those considered “good decision makers” while more seem to result in failure for those that do not make good decisions – but why is there a difference? People whose planned actions create more negative or “questionable” results than they do positive should probably avoid roles where making sound decisions is an essential part of their daily routine – perhaps opting to positions of “doer” rather than seeking those requiring leadership skills. Those that are considered good at making significant decisions quickly should be recognized for their abilities (and cloned whenever or however possible). Saying something is much easier than doing it, however, so what kind of thinking drives the actions of good decision makers (and what is missing in those that make poor decisions)? Some of the more significant influencers are detailed below: 

Good judgment is experience-based. We must actively seek a variety of experiences upon which we can draw to make good choices. Rarely can we assume a position of authority without having first experienced many different roles, responsibilities, successes, and failures. Visualizing how one situation applies to another – dealing with the practical application of solutions rather than relying upon the specifics of theoretical facts – is a transition that many find difficult. 

Some things cannot be experienced prior to doing them. Probably the TWO exceptions to gaining experience before becoming engaged are within personal relationship or being a parent. Typically, no lived experience or prior knowledge available and no “proven methods guaranteed to work” every time in any situation. (Perhaps that is why so many people feel at a loss when entering a serious relationship or raising children…even those considered good decision makers…because doing one’s best is often all that can be done, and it is difficult to accept anything less than predictable and validated results.)

Knowing how to do something well does not automatically guarantee success in a leadership role. Learning the skills needed to perform various functions is not the only requisite to leadership. Many great technicians have failed miserably when promoted to management because they would rather DO than LEAD – and people within a relationship would rather “do for” another than to share with them…or parents that want to be their child’s “friend” would prefer to avoid confrontation while those that wish to “protect their children” would prefer to think for another than provide insight and guidance to them.

Good choices are more often the result of many small decisions than the infamous “ah-ha” moment creative and innovative trainers would lead us to expect. Seeing and reacting to how small steps impact our travels as we move forward to make major decisions reinforces a thought process that considers past successes and relies upon current abilities to anticipate future accomplishments. Great decisions are the product of careful analysis, thorough investigation, utilization of “cause/effect” processes and a conscious, willful implementation of an action plan intended to initiate cautious forward movement. We never have all the answers – nor should we pretend to ask all the right questions – but when we choose to move it should be with confidence gained through proven experiences so that others willingly follow. 

In making decisions, we should avoid living within a vacuum and setting direction by edict rather than through listening and appropriate inclusion. We must continually expose others within our sphere of influence to new and different situations as we apply our knowledge – allowing them to grow by failing – so that they can develop the breadth of experiences needed to make future decisions. We must prepare others to carry on so our own careers can move forward – making sure that someone else can work independently and is capable of making good decisions that contribute autonomous value – if we seek to move up the corporate ladder. This “back-filling” concept is an often overlooked (but vital) part of the decision-making process – unless all has been prepared to SUPPORT progress, nothing will move forward. 

Making good decisions is a process rather than an event. As situations change, so should our willingness to shift direction. Once decisions are made, however, we should move on to other challenges rather than dwelling on the action taken and agonizing over those not selected. While we should monitor how actions play out, we must also let go so that we can move on to other opportunities – often before one has concluded.  Good decision-making begins with the realization that a need to apply life experience when making sound judgments by using practical knowledge that ultimately guides our actions. The process does not end until the things we know are applied in such a way that a reasonable solution has been identified, studied, and implemented. Experience helps us gain the knowledge needed to UNDERSTAND our environment – strong leadership training can make a difference in the way we transform “knowing” into “leading” so that appropriate “doing” can take place. 

THE TRANSFORMATIONAL WISDOM OF GREAT LEADERS

Our metrics-driven society is afloat with facts, data, and information yet it seems that critical thinking skills – those that look forward towards things that have not yet happened but could potentially be avoided if anticipated – are quickly disappearing. We read newspapers (sometimes), watch news (occasionally), page through magazines and check out our electronic news feeds (AND Meta, texts, TikTok, X Corp or other resources) constantly – as we seek stories and interpretations on what is happening (frequently before it happens) throughout the world. We know if a disaster has occurred, if the price of gas is about to rise, what is happening in Washington, who is dating whom, and what the best pet might be BUT we have difficulty applying our wealth of information to un-related circumstances or to identify a resolution to issues not yet experienced. Many can memorize facts but far too few can ask the “right questions” that would allow for the formation of a “best” solution when presented with a new challenge.

Our thirst for facts and comparisons often forces us into seeking answers before fully formulating questions. We want solutions – NOW – without a moment’s hesitation…based on how our tracking SAYS something has been resolved in the past rather than seeing how it COULD be handled going forward. We seek stories with tightly wound endings rather than events that have yet to unfold. We find interest in other’s problems and accept another’s interpretation of the facts as being “gospel truth” rather than digging into a story and coming to our own conclusions. Good news and success are not as important to many as are bad choices and their potentially tragic results. News that “sells” must be entertaining (and often CREATED or ENHANCED) to capture our imagination. We want to be entertained (rather than understood), agreed with (rather than challenged) and provided for (rather than providing for others). It seems that the application of information to create a viable solution – taking the risk required to make a difference by being different – is no longer a desirable characteristic. Impatience and intolerance have become the driving factors in “effective” communication with the analysis of data and deliberate actions due to those findings being minimized in value due to the urgency with which actions are seen to be implemented.

Our senses seem overly stimulated by details, information, and opportunities yet we rarely take the time to identify issues before advancing untenable solutions when pressured by unrealistic deadlines. We run before we walk – oblivious to the fact we might fall – our impatience ruling the day. We often ignore the fact that the efforts of others who came before us (whose results are driving our metrics) acted in different times and different places. We relegate the experience of others (both wins and losses) to a silent historical chart or graphic that tends to (but should not necessarily) rule the day rather than including their insights into our ongoing thought processes as we apply their experiences into a new solution. We pursue the improbable rather than finding comfort in the reality of “what is” and extrapolating it into that which has not yet become – far too often leaping ahead without thought or direction rather than moving slowly (and steadily) forward. We tend to “fire” before we “get ready,” or shoot before we aim (hoping that if we “shoot” quickly enough in the right general direction we are bound to hit something).

It really does not matter which path you take if you are lost as when you do not know where you are going nor from what you are moving, any progress is better than none at all. In order to transform knowledge into wisdom we must take the time to analyze the information around us – to make decisions count by identifying a destination before moving from one situation to another – and planning where you want to be before leaping from the frying pan into the fire. One will rarely fail if they do not establish goals – yet success hinges upon the creation and attainment of targets and the accomplishment of individual dreams. Little credit can be taken for unanticipated results generated through unplanned actions, however, so Leaders must take a stand then act upon it based on the information they have available at the time – being willing to change their mind should circumstances change. In order to demonstrate wisdom, one must take the time to become aware of what those around him/her are thinking, are capable of doing and are willing to act upon for only then can one individual motivate others to leverage the abilities of many to accomplish what might seem on the surface to be impossible.

Great Leaders study, learn, analyze, and apply before charging headlong into an appointment with disaster. When one analyzes the information around them and applies it to their own individual circumstances, they will be able to leverage their knowledge to make wise decisions rather than blindly following the thoughts, suggestions, or considerations of others. Reach up as you reach out – the world is awaiting your curiosity. One must learn to fully develop creativity, leadership potential and team-building skills – then overlay those attributes upon the information available and the timeframe in which one must act – when making decisions or setting directions. In life, at work, OR within personal relationships, those unique individuals able to meld history (metrics) with possibilities (potential) to establish a planned alternative will regularly transform knowledge into the wisdom needed to lead (and thrive).

KNOWLEDGE ALONE DOES NOT GUARANTEE SUCCESS

We are told that knowledge is the key to success. If we learn we will achieve. If we set our sights high when establishing our goals and objectives, and work hard to equip ourselves with the knowledge to accomplish our goals, great things will happen. In front of each of us lies an endless number of possibilities as long as we pay attention to AND apply what was taught in school – then “never stop learning” throughout life. Knowledge alone, however, is not the key that opens up any opportunity. Our recent focus on providing every child or student with an education, leaving nobody behind, ignores the basic reality that each individual child or student should be able to learn – and that we all learn differently.

Wisdom is the application of knowledge. Knowing facts, details or information does not make one a leader, a teacher or even a success. Individuals chosen to participate on the TV gameshow Jeopardy demonstrate a vast base of knowledge – an unending ability to recall what many would consider arcane facts and an astounding grasp of history, trivia, and culture – BUT do nothing to demonstrate how any of these isolated facts might be applied to create solutions outside of the show. The application of knowledge through wise choices, decisions and actions that anticipate consequences (both planned and unintended) is what truly defines success, particularly if we do not care who gets the credit for the results that are achieved. Knowledge allows us to think about issues, topics, and challenges from many different perspectives. Wisdom (the application of knowledge) allows us to succeed by putting what we know into action – whether it be repetitive or a new application of related experience.

Not all individuals are “wired” to attend college. Some learn through books and formal training – and we need educated teachers, engineers, doctors, managers, and other professionals to study, practice and learn so they can lead, teach, and create. Others can make a difference by applying the skills and abilities they attain to situations that do not require a college degree. Trade schools provide skills that can be applied within technical careers (manufacturing, tool and die, machinists, carpenters, mechanics, and a plethora of other significant occupations that contribute to society). Certificate programs allow one to focus training to a narrow slice of knowledge that can be applied directly to a defined situation or a specific career. Though our grade schools and high schools equip us with information that is vital and necessary to survive in this world, we must continually stretch our minds throughout life so we can overcome obstacles by applying our knowledge and experiences wisely to eliminate roadblocks or accomplish new objectives. Education plants seeds of prosperity that lie dormant until they are nurtured and applied. When we apply our learned skills to resolve new challenges not previously experienced, we reap the benefits of lifetime learning.

We should seek knowledge but strive for ways to apply what we learn to better ourselves and those around us. We should establish goals and seek to accomplish them but understand success is not simply the fulfillment of a stated objective having no purpose or meaning. Success is not measured by what we have or what we do but rather by what we are able to accomplish with the gifts we are given and how we apply the knowledge we attain – how we are able to impact, influence or enlighten others as we demonstrate wisdom through the application of all we know and all we have experienced. It is not elevating, enabling, or providing for others that matters – it is fulfilling our own potential as we vacate each “station” in life which another can fill IF they, too, wisely apply their knowledge. Knowing is nothing unless it is associated with action, responsibility, accountability, and focused follow-through. One can know much without making a difference – which can only happen when we apply our knowledge and put it into action...which happens only when one is responsible for his or her individual actions, is able to learn from past mistakes and can move on to accomplish the next objective. Making a true difference usually involves helping others learn without having to experience the same mistake or disruption.

Nothing changes unless someone does something differently than it has been done in the past. We cannot expect to change our outcomes unless we alter our approach. We cannot improve our standing unless we take intentional steps to move from “where we are” to “where we wish to be.” Knowledge provides us with the foundation upon which we can build our dreams, but we must apply what we know without requiring the praise or credit for what has been done to reach new ceilings (which will become floors upon which we can continue to add new perspectives to those solutions we know work as we strive to accomplish things we hope could be possible). When we seek knowledge, it should be purposeful – with all learning directed towards the accomplishment of an objective or the realization of a dream. Knowing for the sake of knowing may allow us to win the game of Jeopardy but applying what we know to the accomplishment of everyday problems, issues and situations will allow us to succeed in the game of life.

GIVE NOTHING LESS THAN YOUR BEST

America was built upon the belief that individuals can realize unlimited opportunity through hard work and the effective utilization of resources if a superior product or service is produced that appeals (and sells) to a consuming public. Implied within this basic tenant is that while we ARE created similarly, we possess different gifts, abilities, and competencies so we ARE NOT presumed to be equal in our ability to produce or achieve results. Not everyone can be a professional athlete, a teacher, a counselor, a leader, a writer, or an innovator…or any of a score of other occupations that require specialized skills or unique temperaments...but all ARE able to succeed to the best of the abilities they have AND accomplish great things if they choose to fully leverage the gifts they have been given. 

While we all taste success, life is an environment of equitability rather than of equality. Our efforts do not create EQUAL results - they produce results that reflect EQUITABLY the abilities we have developed, the intelligence we apply, and outcomes we achieve. One can expect to receive from life only that which results from the efforts they personally contribute – not what might be available through the efforts or activities of another. The only guarantees we can expect in life are rooted in what we believe to be possible, practice to perfect, and relentlessly strive to achieve.

In an effort to equalize everyone and take away any thought or concept of one individual being (for whatever reason) positioned differently than another in their abilities, their rewards or their contributions, our country has taken drastic measures to promote and advance equality. Schools tend to teach to the middle – spending far too much on creating opportunity for the less gifted and failing to advance the talents and abilities of those towards the top. Field days are disappearing from elementary schools because some children are not able to compete with others (often due to their own lifestyle choices) and nobody wants them to feel “badly” should they not win or taste the same success as others. To avoid lopsided losses in sports during a child’s formative years, the solution has been to quit keeping score (that might appease the adults in the crowd but the kids playing know who “won” and what the final score was even though it is not officially tracked). 

Supervisors and managers give “across the board pay adjustments” because it is easier to treat employees equally than to identify and reward exceptional effort (because individuals producing inferior results will require confrontation). Labor unions (potentially making a comeback due to favorable Administrative rhetoric and seemingly positive vocal support promised during political campaigns) flourish within both government and private sector entities by bringing “everyone is equal” and “pay equality based on time in grade” (rather than for performance) concepts into the workplace. The recent repeal of our “Right to Work” law and the re-introduction of “prevailing wages” are but two more examples of legislation designed to make all equal (rather than equitable) within our workforce.

While our country has survived many challenges from outside our borders, possibly the greatest attacks on our greatness come from within. It seems that an individual’s abilities to demonstrate excellence, to reap the rewards of individual efforts, and to live out the belief that one is limited ONLY by his or her own addressable shortcomings are under attack by an overly accepting public. A prevailing concept of “take from those who have the resources in order to give to those having a need” is creating a shift within society where so many individuals receive aid from somewhere that there are more “takers” than “givers” within our world. While everyone may need help to overcome unforeseen issues at some point in their life, the support SHOULD BE helping them become better contributors for which they will be rewarded RATHER THAN heightening their dependency upon a paternalistic government for easy ways out and free rewards.

Our society tends to reward those needing support and penalize those that create wealth, jobs or opportunities. 80% or our taxes are paid by 20% of our population yet more taxes continue to be recommended for those that “can afford them” so that monies can be given to those that do not contribute. We promise to take care of student loan debt (which was voluntarily assumed knowing that it would someday be due) rather than looking to address a system that may have unfairly created the debt. We speak of reparations rather than of the opportunities that every American truly has…we speak of European peace while our nation is in a polarized “war” as evidenced by the numbers of violent deaths each day in this great country…we accept the minimum from ourselves AND others as being the best so as not to risk failure should we truly accept nothing but our best. When will we seek to reward those that deserve recognition and encourage those who have failed to succeed (rather than to reward their shortcomings by providing for them without their contributing themselves)?   

Embrace the freedoms and unlimited opportunities we currently enjoy by striving to move forward (rather than standing fast), by learning and applying the knowledge (rather than simply accepting what is as what will always be), and by focusing upon where you COULD BE (rather than upon where you HAVE ALREADY BEEN). Become all that you may become by seeking all that might be sought, doing all that can be done, and NEVER accepting less from yourself than you are capable of giving and you will both make the world a better place to live AND provide a role model that may, eventually, encourage others to be all that they could be as well.

Letting Go of the Past to Realize Tomorrow’s Dreams

The worst part of letting go of something with which you have become familiar is watching it pass through your fingers and worrying about whether it will ever return. When something that has become more important to your life than the air you breathe floats away upon the wind – dancing just out of reach but never out of mind – you need to work relentlessly to retrieve it or seek intentionally to move on from it. Regardless of how much you try to rationalize that what once was may never be again – that perhaps it should never have been in the first place – the emptiness growing within you when that which was is no more cannot be easily filled. Life drifts freely without point or purpose as one seeks a return to a comfortable past when what you had slips through your fingers – yet such a return is often an improbable dream. What once was can rarely return and what now is must become the foundation of all things yet to come. 

Until you let something go – knowing that you will never again experience the stability it provided nor the comfort you found within the place you once occupied – you may never understand the emptiness that comes from letting go of a dream. Hope may remain within a visionary soul but the emptiness that fills an individual when separated from a dream – or when forced into an unexpected reality – often takes more patience and tolerance – more hard work and sweat equity – than most are willing to invest EVEN IF it might mean a moment of reunification. When Hope is gone, life takes on the deathly pallor of a pale and drawn spirit drifting aimlessly with the wind. Without Dreams, reality can become a millstone holding you down – a weight keeping you from realizing your potential or moving towards the accomplishment of unfulfilled goals – as you struggle to survive (with no thought of ever again thriving). 

When you must move on – which is something we all face within this life (whether it be personally or professionally) – we must look towards where we are going rather than dwell upon where we have been. We must seek new horizons rather than finding sordid comfort within the memories of our past. While understandable from an emotional standpoint, rarely is a new beginning found within the remnants or wreckage of one's irretrievable accomplishments. We must embrace change as an opportunity to excel rather than seeing it as a blockade that makes our once “comfortable path” impassable. Though a career change may not be what we wanted, accept the opportunity that “downsizing” presents to succeed at something new and different  should it come. Rather than seeing disruptive and unexpected change as being an end, it COULD be a beginning. Retirement should be “to” something rather than “away” from it...running away from what you have may eliminate an undesirable situation but leaves an unanticipated void in front of us rather than a temporary gap into which we might confidently reach to begin that which has not yet materialized. An empty nest should be filled with freedoms rather than with the stray feathers left behind by something that will never be again. Life “as it was” should become a springboard into the future rather than a safe haven from “what could be”. 

Whether they be voluntary or out of necessity, life provides us with new realities which will either prove to be our beginning or our end. Accepting challenges as inevitable – recognizing that the only constant in life is change – will help us let go of “what was” in order to truly seek “what will be.” Until you are able to take control of your destiny by walking from what was in order to run towards what has yet to be – by moving forward with confidence as you find yourself shrouded within the darkness of an unknown future – your past will control your life and you will never realize the dream that can be found ONLY within the not-yet-defined reality of your future. Let go of your past as you hold on to your future, reaching out from where you are towards what you have not yet become, in order to ultimately realize your dreams.