ARISE AND AWAKEN - KNOW WHAT (AND WHEN) IS ENOUGH

Everyone comes to a fork in the road – a place in life where they say “no more” while seeking “no less.”  They realize that life cannot continue at the insane pace we tend to pursue – that running towards a goal must be more important than running from something – but that both become equally important when we allow fear and emotion to drive our decisions.  We eventually (and inevitably) run into a wall when our dreams for the future are met equally (and convincingly) by our memories of the past – locking us firmly into a “present” that is not growing, fulfilling or likely to change. 

Some might say that “when we quit learning, growing or changing we die.”  Perhaps it would be better to simply say “ENOUGH” and move on without fighting, crying or struggling – without senselessly holding on to what we have (particularly that which does not contribute to our own or other’s growth) by over-valuing what has been (using our past accomplishments as destinations rather than foundations) rather than seeking what has not yet been revealed (looking over our shoulder to where we have been instead of ahead to where we wish to go).  When you quiet your soul and vanquish your fears – calm your apprehensions and begin to recognize that the light at the end of the tunnel into which you have entered may not be a train coming at you but rather a beacon leading you towards a dream that has yet to be realized – you enter into a new world of possibilities that sees life 

through a lens of “what could be” as an achievable alternative to “what has always been.”

We all awaken to a time we realize that our hoping for someone to give us something we do not have must stop – that we can no longer wait for change to “just happen” or happiness, safety and security to be waiting for our discovery around the next corner.  We must consciously and intentionally act to initiate change.  We must come to terms with the reality we all have strengths (and weaknesses) as well as beauty (and warts) – that nobody can (without intentional thoughts and actions) live like “Prince Charming” or “Cinderella” waiting to find or discover happiness in which to live ever after.  We must realize that life cannot be a fairy tale unless (and until) we recognize that peace and serenity is born through an acknowledgement of our own imperfections and an acceptance of the imperfections of others.  Once we awaken to realize that life must necessarily be an ever-melding mix of hopes, dreams, accomplishments and expectations – a fluid state of flux rather than a static state of entitlement – we can cast off the chains that hold us back so we can reach out to grasp the lifelines that will pull us forward.

As we travel through life we realize that people do not always say what they mean or mean what they say – that not everyone will always be there for us (though someone or a group of trusted individuals WILL BE if we allow it) nor is life ever “all about you and you alone.”  We must learn to stand on our own and take care of ourselves – building safety and security through our self-reliance (which, unlike an island, cannot truly survive life’s storms without external support).  We must stop complaining about other people and blaming them for things they may have done, instead looking to undo what we ourselves may not have done and learning that the only certainty we can count on is the unexpected entering our lives.  We must stop judging and pointing fingers and start accepting others as they are – overlooking their shortcomings and accepting their human frailties – if we are ever to accept ourselves as being similarly fragile and equally as imperfect while striving to grow and succeed.

We view ourselves (and the world around us) through a filter born of the messages and opinions ingrained in us throughout our childhood then reinforced by the successes or failures – the acceptances or rejections – we have experienced as adults.  Only when we begin to sift through the “junk” we have been fed about how to behave, what to wear, how to act and what to value – to determine what is real and important to us rather than reaching towards what was expected to be valued and significant for us by others – will we learn to open ourselves up to new worlds and different points of view.  We cannot begin to reassess and redefine who we are and what we really stand for until we recognize that our individuality is shaped by both external influences and internal desires, and that we must come to own what we can initiate and accept what we cannot change before we can move forward in life.

As we awaken to the possibilities of life we begin to learn the difference between wanting and needing – discarding the doctrines and values we have outgrown or should never accepted to begin with as we follow our hearts, instincts and consciences.  We learn that it is truly in giving that we will receive – that we can discover fulfillment and accomplishment through our creating and contributing ONLY if we stop maneuvering through life as a consumer long enough to recognize that creation and consumption are distinctly different paths leading towards opposing and conflicting objectives.  We must learn the differences between guilt and responsibility to thrive.  We must learn the importance of setting boundaries and knowing when to say “no” when necessary rather than always saying “yes” for when we extend ourselves beyond what we are capable by doing to relieve the pressure on those around us we may actually stifle the growth of others while reducing our own ability to try (initiate or master) new things.

In the depths of our confusion when we find ourselves at an inexplicable fork in the road we come to realize that, for the most part, we get from life what we believe we deserve (whether that be good or bad) and that much of life is a self-fulfilling prophecy.  In order to achieve success we need to believe that success is probable (or at least possible).  We must recognize that anything worth achieving is worth working for – and that wishing for something to happen is far different than working towards making it happen.  In order to initiate change we need to identify a destination we wish to achieve, establish a direction we will travel, then exhibit discipline and perseverance to stay on track.  Before embarking upon a journey of change, however, it is important that we recognize nobody can do everything alone and it is OK to ask for help (and not a weakness of shortcoming to accept it) as we move forward.

When feel that an impossibly large load has been dumped in front of us in life – that there is no reasonable or realistic way to get around the obstacle in front of us – we may come to realize life is not always “fair.”  We do not always get what we think we deserve and sometimes bad things truly do happen to good people.  We must learn to fight for what we want in life, however, rather than living under a cloud of impending doom if we hope to understand that fear of failure is not the only impediment to our growth – that a fear of success (and the unknown that accompanies it) may be an equally binding tie that binds us where we are, keeping us from moving towards what we could become.

We all awaken to a new dawn each day we rise.  If we are to make the most from the days we are given we must learn from our failures rather than allowing ourselves to be buried by them.  When we face life with and attitude of “Why Not?” rather than wallowing in one of “Why Me?” we seek the path leading towards the “what might be possible” rather than settling for “what is and will never change.”  When we courageously live our lives “as they could be” rather than being content to find comfort in “what they are” we will find ourselves awakened to a world of possibilities.  Share your world with those around you so that you all may gain and grow through your independent and intentional discoveries.

REALIZE SUCCESS BY CELEBRATING THE ACCOMPLISHMENTS OF OTHERS

Much can be accomplished IF you do not care who receives the credit.  Though it is human nature to want recognition for successfully implementing an idea, an individual evolves from “doer” through “manager” to “leader” when he or she realizes that being responsible for something and achieving the results that one wishes is often more important than receiving credit for its accomplishment (or making sure that someone else receives the “blame” if something does not work out as hoped for and planned).

 

Any relationship will be strengthened by actively engaging in cooperative reasoning – openly discussing all possibilities before acting to bring to fruition one person’s desires without at least uncovering and exploring the thoughts of another.  Originating alternative ideas or concepts is critical to initiate change as time spent engaging all effected by a decision (even if their thoughts and ideas are not directly acted upon) can make the implementation of change more effective (when the “doers” are empowered to act so that the “dreamers” can more freely innovate).  Successful leadership reveals itself when the originators of ideas internalize the reality that they do not need to receive accolades for their thoughts – even if the “doers” receive credit for their performance in bringing ideas to fruition they would never have acted upon had a new idea or direction not been brought to the surface by a “dreamer.”  We far too often try to pull everyone in the direction we want to go or step over those that appear to be in our way rather than lifting those around us up and rising to the top upon their shoulders as we seek new processes, destinations and results together.  On the opposite extreme, some inexperienced leaders attempt to “overly involve” those around them in the “germinating” process hoping that great ideas will grow from a collective seed – failing to recognize that “too many cooks can spoil the broth.”  Sometimes we must determine what is appropriate to share so that “group-think” can occur while recognizing that decisions must be made and/or direction established (often singularly) so that collective action can take place (allowing the group to take the credit).

 

We unleash the potential of those around us to create change when we formulate an idea then communicate the results we wish to accomplish to those that implementing the change, allowing them to consider alternative paths that could be taken, rather than dictating what must be done AND how we expect it done.  Ordering another to accomplish a specific result MAY lead to a desired solution but often provides an excuse as to why something did not happen rather than a celebration about what did occur.  We create dependency in relationships and minimize autonomy (and independent thinking) when we tell others what to do and when to do it rather than simply defining our goals and monitoring progress towards their accomplishment.  Growth or success beyond that which one has already achieved cannot occur until a leader equips those around him or her with tools that prepare them for independent actions and a confidence that mistakes will be viewed as learning experiences rather than used to generate discipline.

Great leaders originate ideas, communicate expectations then get out of the way while constantly considering alternatives as they monitor the progress of those left to accomplish their initiatives.  Innovators are rarely around when the tasks they initiate are completed because they have built teams that can act independently and communicate openly thereby freeing themselves to focus on other opportunities so they may not be in a position to receive direct recognition for activities that produced results.  Leaders celebrate in the accomplishments and successes of their teams, recognizing that great rewards will ultimately come to those who can selflessly initiate change and deliver results.

Those focusing upon receiving credit for their ideas often lose sight of their long-term objectives and fail to meet their ultimate goals.  To achieve greatness, seek it within the accomplishments of those that you lead.  Leverage the capabilities of those you have equipped to act upon their ideas – that you have provided the confidence to move forward and given permission to learn from their failures – rather than limiting your potential to those things you can accomplish on your own.  Find your full potential as you lead others through their darkness and they will help to light your way as they begin to find themselves.  Make yourself too valuable to replace and you may find that you have nowhere to go as nobody else can do what you have done.

SMART OR WISE – THE SAME OR DIFFERENT?

Wisdom results from our application of knowledge – from using what we know to change (or intentionally stabilize) a situation, alter the life of another, or accomplish something that had not yet been considered.  One can be wise, however, without having (or demonstrating) much common sense or practical knowledge.  We can know all the facts and understand all their ramifications but cannot initiate or accomplish change unless we act upon the things we know rather than simply building upon them to form a hopelessly tall (and self-contained) tower.  Simply knowing many facts, always asking the right questions and appearing to have all the answers may make us smart but unless (and until) we apply the facts we have learned to change a situation or circumstance that we have never encountered we will never demonstrate wisdom. 

Today’s world is afloat with facts, data and information and resources yet it seems that problem-solving skills are less likely to be demonstrated than ever before as many have difficulty trying to apply their wealth of knowledge to un-related circumstances within their daily lives.  We run before we walk as our impatience rules the day.  We pursue the impossible (or at least the improbable) rather than finding comfort in the reality of “what is” and extrapolating it into that which has not yet become – far too often leaping ahead without thought or direction.  Knowing what to do and doing what is right within a given set of circumstances is not always the same thing (situational ethics?).  We are taught to memorize facts and regurgitate answers on tests that measure what we were taught rather than what we may have learned during the lessons.  While knowledge may be the building block of wisdom, it does not shine as a light in the darkness until it is appropriately applied.

Impatience and intolerance have become the driving factors in “effective” communication with the analysis of data initiating deliberate (and specific) action designed to resolve a known problem using the process developed by others in a similar situation – minimizing the impact of creativity in the face of reality.  Integrity was once an integral part of an individual’s make-up – it now seems to be an insignificant backdrop to life’s everyday drama. Relationships once rooted in honesty now seem built upon circumstance fed by individual desires, validated by sincere apologies and justified by “the wisdom of the crowd.”  It seems that the application of information to create a viable solution – taking the risk required to make a difference by being unique in thought and action – is less about “doing things right” and more about “just doing it.”  Knowing what to do (because we have learned facts or seen similar situations in the past) is a good start to transforming our knowledge into wisdom.  To be credible and effective in the demonstrative application of our wisdom we must say what we are going to do, do what we say and show others that we are predictable, consistent and fair in our actions.  We must recognize and consistently honor the values, likes, dislikes and preferences of others as we pull them along with us (rather than trying to push them ahead to test the waters before stepping in).

It is nearly impossible to move in the wrong direction when one does not care where they are going.  Little credit, however, can be taken (or praise given) for unanticipated results generated through unplanned activities. In order to transform knowledge into wisdom – to make decisions count – we must anticipate our destination before moving from one situation to another then plan where we want to land before leaping from where we stand.  Unless we look forward (rather than back) or we will find ourselves moving from the frying pan to the fire. When teaching our granddaughter to ride her bike we constantly reminded her to look where she was going rather than where she had been – a great piece of advice that most individuals seeking to accomplish any new objective should assimilate.  Success hinges upon the creation and attainment of targets so we can recognize and acknowledge that our actions (or intentional in-actions) are leading towards a definitive conclusion.  Many great innovations were a direct result of an initial failure.  Had someone not allowed their mind to wander, however, and fed their curiosity – had they not transformed their knowledge into wisdom while investigating previously unknown (and unconsidered) possibilities – today’s world would be a vastly different place.

We are able to leverage our knowledge to make wise decisions rather than blindly following the thoughts of others when we analyze the information around us, consider the results (and ramifications) of applying it to our circumstances then act (and monitor what happens) as we move forward.  When we look ahead to avoid the obstacles in our path rather than behind at what has already been accomplished we are able to sail towards what might become reality rather than anchoring ourselves within safe harbors of the past that discourage change.  Planned, intentional actions initiate change – and once we are able to demonstrate our ability to orchestrate the transition from “here and now” to “where we have not yet imagined” we will be wise beyond our expectations and experience more success than we ever dreamed possible.

AVOIDING MISTAKEN ASSUMPTIONS POSITIONS US FOR SUCCESS

Most people are “measured” by the success they have which becomes the results we aspire to emulate.  Little attention, however, is given to the small, commonsense, practical things that often lead to failure.  While we cannot avoid all missteps along the way – particularly if we are committed to initiating new solutions, forging alternative paths and seeking places where “no person has ever gone before” – there ARE some sure-fire mistakes we make that minimize our chances of success.  If we are able to identify and avoid these simple assumptions, pitfalls and roadblocks we will be able to avoid debilitating failure.  Some of these “common sense” areas that promote mistakes and disruptive missteps would include:

Mistaken Assumption #1:            PEOPLE DO NOT ENTER INTO A RELATIONSHIP (OR A NEW JOB) UNLESS THEY ARE FULLY EQUIPPED TO PERFORM.  THEY ABSORB AND IMPLEMENT NEW IDEAS AS THEY GAIN EXPERIENCE.  THERE IS NO NEED TO BUDGET FOR OR INVEST IN TRAINING – IF A PERSON IS NOT CAPABLE OF DOING, PARTICIPATING IN OR SHARING SOMETHING HE OR SHE WOULD NOT BE ENGAGED/INVOLVED.  Insecure individuals often feel threatened by others who “know too much” or are “overqualified.”  Unless a degree of “shared success” can be established, refusing to allow or permit one individual doing everything with the other accomplishing very little, a partnership cannot grow.  Individuals perform better when they have a high (but realistic) self –concept – knowing they are fully equipped to perform any job that is assigned or to contribute in the resolution of any problem that is faced while in a relationship.  Managers of excellence recognize that elevating their people’s skills will enhance their own ability to contribute more to their organization.  Individuals should be capable of assuming more than their basic job responsibilities so that both employee AND manager has time to seek new challenges.  Within ANY relationship, once part of the equation feels underappreciated – when all participants can no longer gain from expanding their knowledge base or trying new approaches – the beginning of an inevitable end has clearly revealed itself. 

Mistaken Assumption #2:            IF EVERYONE WERE TREATED EQUALLY THERE WOULD BE NO REASON TO COMPLAIN AND ALL WOULD WORK TOGETHER TO BEST COMPLETE WORK, PROJECTS OR RESOLVE STICKY ISSUES WITHOUT CONFLICT.  THE BEST WAY TO AVOID CONFRONTATION IN ANY SITUATION IS TO TREAT EVERYONE THE SAME REGARDLESS OF THEIR ABILTIY TO CONTRIBUTE OR THEIR CAPABILITY TO GROW.  Rewarding all equally for the work that has been done regardless of individual effort, while often the easiest thing to do, creates animosity within the “high achievers” in our world and NEVER results in everyone BEING the same.  All organizations and relationships need leaders – people of dreams, individuals of vision, contributors that take calculated risks to receive proportionate rewards.  Successful leaders will reward excellence rather than celebrating mediocrity – expecting all to rise to the top rather than pulling the top down to eliminate differences.  They identify and recognize individuals who can give back as much (if not more) than they take away from relationships – rather than those seeking comfort in “acceptability” or hiding within the shadows of doubt.  While giving across the board increases may be an “easy” way to go, it tends to encourage those who can truly contribute to take their talents elsewhere, leaving behind those who are ecstatic to be paid good money for average results.  Treating every individual “the same” will reduce opportunity as it blends individuality into a single “nobody wins – everybody loses” package.  One must climb from a solid base of support in order to grow – at work OR within a shared relationship.

Mistaken Assumption #3:            CRITICIZE INDIVIDUALS WHENEVER YOU CAN – IT BUILDS CHARACTER AND MOVES NEGATIVE ATTENTION AWAY FROM THOSE LESS CAPABLE OR MAY BE DOING AN INFERIOR JOB.  Finding out who caused a major loss and addressing him/her publicly may serve to make sure that the mistake is not repeated – and the example made may help ensure nobody else will make a similar mistake - but what is really gained by addressing the individual WITHOUT correcting the action that caused the problem?  Weak managers critique and criticize while great managers identify root causes then provide tools or training to minimize the chances of recurrence.  Accepting an individual does not necessarily mean we also accept his or her actions – it simply allows us to keep our mind open as we separate the “person” from the “action” in life.  We should not accept poor results or bad decisions but we must be careful to avoid criticizing the person rather than the action.  NEVER attack the offender – address the offense.  We seek to insulate the person from the action far too often in our “politically-correct” lives, making excuses for them or forgiving them without consequence.  While people learn from their mistakes, they must be given the tools and the opportunity to change their behavior if they are to become the foundation of an organization’s success.

Mistaken Assumption #4:              REST ON THE RESULTS OF YOUR SUCCESS BECAUSE PEOPLE WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER THE SIGNIFICANT THINGS YOU DO.  Life is not static.  It is a continuum of change.  The sun rises and sets each day.  Life begins (and ends) each day.  Relationships come and go with little regard to those left behind.  Individuals comfortable with success rarely accept the status quo as being sufficient – they seek to expand it.  We should never accept “good enough” as being adequate.  Rather than seeing today’s accomplishments as an end to the day, some see them as where tomorrow begins.  While good things may come to those who wait, successful people often create their own future by acting in ways that are noticed by others, allowing their actions to speak louder than their words without having to raise their own banner inviting praise.    

Mistaken Assumption #5:            DO NOT EMBARRASS OTHERS BY PUBLICLY POINTING OUT WHAT THEY HAVE DONE.  PRAISE PEOPLE PRIVATELY SO YOU CAN BE MORE PERSONAL IN YOUR COMMENTS.  If you compliment one person you may have to compliment everyone, right?  WRONG!  We must know when to criticize AND when to praise, recognizing that each individual has personal gifts, talents and abilities that ARE NOT equal.  Maximize the possibility of success by identifying strengths and creating environments that rely on or encourage the use of those strengths (while minimizing the need to act within areas of weakness).

Whenever we assume before we investigate or we think we know (and act on our assumptions) when we know we should think (prior to acting) we minimize our chances for success.  It takes practice, patience, perseverance (and personal sacrifice) to rise to the top.  Success and accomplishment does not come to those who take the easy way out or assume only the best and are unprepared for the alternative (rather than hoping for the best WHILE preparing for the worst).  Success tends to come to those who seek it, study alternatives that will help provide it, initiate actions that continuously promote it, monitor (and react to) results along the way and are willing to alter their direction (when conditions change) rather than staying the course regardless of what happens.  Do not assume success will find you – rather seek it out and make it happen.

MAXIMIZING YOUR CHANCES OF SUCCESS

What must we do to navigate through the competitive world in which we live without drifting into a minefield – to set sail and arrive at our destination before struggling through a storm?  We are doing more with less in almost every area of our lives.  Our workplaces are more productive, on-line re-sellers with a limited selection of low-cost items are threatening more traditional retail outlets and we face more competition for the limited number of jobs available in today’s market.  Four characteristics seem to reveal themselves within the actions of successful individuals (and the endeavors they choose to pursue) – keys and values that are strangely absent from those striving to reach their targets rather than thriving while moving beyond anything they ever imagined. These four key characteristics are:

1. Successful individuals recognize that things done within today’s world may not be good enough for tomorrow – that doing things as they have always been done may meet today’s needs but will not begin to satisfy tomorrows hopes, wishes or desires.  Since most individuals prefer not to “fix things that are not yet broken,” individuals able to anticipate when their “good thing” is about to end AND develop alternative ways to leverage their strengths into different avenues will most likely thrive within an ever-changing world. 
2. Successful people recognize the need for change BUT understand that “change for change sake” is not a good thing.  They also know that being afraid to change when it is needed will hold them back when others less hesitant move forward.  Successful people do not typically spend much time asking “why things are the way they are” because they focus on “what else” might be or “why not” do things differently.  They do not worry about “who will let them do things differently” but rather try to identify (and overcome) who might try to stop them.  Achievers challenge proven methods, holding on to those that are effective while replacing and refining those that lose their relevance – constantly seeking what MIGHT work while moving from what USED TO WORK but has run its course or outlived its usefulness.
3. Individuals driving change and achieving success typically live with a continuous sense of urgency – to investigate new methods, try new things, and implement new processes – NOW!  Rather than being content with the status quo, successful individuals defer to others the business of maintaining while they identify alternative paths and “roads less travelled” that will lead to new beginnings.  Initiators rarely become bogged down in detail (though they do like systems) as they take for granted a good idea will be implemented – a characteristic that allows for the free transfer of authority and accountability BUT that can be a fatal flaw to a “dreamer” whom does not see the need for a pragmatic and detail-oriented support team.
4. Successful people maintain open communications with others as they gather the information necessary to make informed decisions.  They talk to other knowledgeable individuals, listen to their input, and readily act upon what they hear (rather than simply talking and listening without acting).  Asking questions with the intent to elicit solutions (rather than simply questioning others to elicit opinions or engage in conversation) signals productive communication.  It is critical that we NEVER believe contributing to the identification of an issue is sufficient.  Only when we galvanize the diverse input of others having different backgrounds, experiences and knowledge can we leverage the abilities of the team to accomplish those things which are “possible” rather than only achieving what has previously been done.

These four characteristics – sensing (and anticipating) the need to change, recognizing when change is needed (and when it might be best to stay the course for a moment), moving forward with urgency (after first imagining opportunities and considering obstacles that must be avoided to minimize disruptions), and seeking external input that will lead to alternative actions (allowing for the implementation of previously untested solutions and the realization of not yet considered opportunities). 

Each of us has the potential to become more than we are and to unlock doors that have kept us from reaching our dreams but must recognize (and understand) that nothing will change unless we truly believe that ANYTHING is possible.  Using the right “keys” will unlock your potential for future success.  Maximize your chances of success by identifying the “key” you might be missing as you seek to accomplish all you are destined to achieve.

THE DEFINITION OF SUCCESS: ACCEPTING NOTHING LESS THAN WHAT YOU HOPE TO ACCOMPLISH BY BUILDING UPON WHAT YOU HAVE PREVIOUSLY DONE

Sometimes an individual is able to succeed, grow and prosper because of a unique skill set, a captivating personality, an influential and motivating mindset OR plain good luck in spite of (rather than because of) the things that are consciously done to create the success.  More often, however, much planning, analyzing, forecasting, and “sweat equity” go into bringing individual thoughts and dreams to fruition.  An individual must selflessly invest his or her time, money and effort to realize the returns that inevitably come when one mortgages their short-term leisure time for long-term rewards – but accomplishing anything, one must envision the future, determine how it can be enacted, then steadfastly advance towards its realization. 

One must closely monitor progress and constantly identify obstacles that could hinder the accomplishment of goals, either avoiding their negative impact or minimizing their effect, in order to help guarantee success.  Changes to established plans should be considered carefully before acting, but actions should be intentional rather than reactive or in response to temporary conditions.  A person will never be able to reach his or her full potential when focused intently upon the path rather than the prize at its conclusion – when looking back to where they have been rather than ahead to where they wish to travel – more concerned with stumbling than learning from each fall.

Individual success can be directly linked to the power a person allows him or herself to take (and the responsibility assumed for each intentional action taken) when contributing freely and creatively to growth.  In order to maximize the chances of success, an individual should first envision the future and where he or she may fit.  Questions that should be asked should include what does one WANT to be, WANT to accomplish, or can realistically EXPECT to achieve?  To taste success one must start with a conclusion - a goal or set of expectations – before embarking upon the path towards accomplishment.  Without an end point, one will never know when one chapter has concluded so that another can begin.  Life without purpose can be eventful but is rarely satisfying.  It may be full of new beginnings but is strangely at a loss for “ends.”  We cannot achieve what we do not believe BUT we will never know how much is possible until we truly identify our abilities, gifts and talents before openly and honestly expressing our expectations and desires for a different or improved future.

Once a goal has been established, an individual must determine how it can be accomplished.  What knowledge or ability must be attained to achieve the goal?  Who must be brought into the solution (to maximize the chances of success) and who should be excluded from its execution (to minimize the potential of failure)?  Too often, training is an afterthought to the accomplishment of a dream.  When we start act without thought we may taste limited success but it will be realized in spite of ourselves rather than because of anything that we intentionally did or could easily replicate.  In order to advance ourselves we must do things differently than they have been done in the past so we must develop new tools, thought processes and methodologies that can be leveraged to build alternative paths that lead to previously unconsidered destinations.  Seeking to leverage that which is common knowledge often reveals only what has been previously accomplished.  In order to fulfill our potential we must expand our horizons beyond the “here and now” to the “what if” and “why not”.

To achieve greatness, people MUST steadfastly advance towards the realization of their dreams.  In order to continually move forward, systems must be put in place to identify obstacles that could hinder progress AND to justify warranted changes.  An individual will never reach his or her full potential should he or she focus too intently upon the path rather than moving towards the prize at its conclusion.  Perhaps we should all take the time to chart a path upon which we can travel, setting our targets high, so that we can be an integral part of a well planned solution RATHER THAN simply a piece of the puzzle or a part of the problem that someone else must resolve.  Only by choosing to envision the future, to enact a solution and to steadfastly advance towards self-actualization (while keeping our eyes on the goal) will we ever achieve our true potential.

One’s potential is not measured by what he or she has done but rather by what he or she is capable of doing.  The potential of an individual is not an accounting of where he or she has been but rather an anticipation of where they might go.  In order to realize our full potential we should recognize and acknowledge the accomplishments of our past, allowing ourselves to bask but for a moment in the memories of what we did – as we let go of what we have proven possible while moving on towards those things that could only have been imagined.

WE MIGHT RUN (OR HIDE) FROM OTHERS BUT CANNOT ESCAPE OURSELVES

People tend to maximize the impact others have on their failures while minimizing their own contribution to negative results.  Likewise, they maximize their personal contributions towards any success while discounting the contribution of others.  They DO NOT realize that distancing themselves from a situation or problem does nothing to eliminate one of the most difficult things to run from – the person they see whenever they look in a mirror.  We can run from places, situations, relationships and the ramifications of the choices we make but we cannot alter “who we are” or how we react by simply positioning ourselves in a different space or time.  When recognizing the need for change and identifying the steps needed to implement it, “the monster in the closet” that needs addressing is often “us” (and the things we do) rather than “them” (or the things done to us).  Identifying and owning our own role in creating a roadblock to success is vital if we are to overcome the obstacles in front of us.  

Too many people live in a world of “what is” rather than in one of “what if” OR “what could be.” They like to make excuses for things that happen “to them” rather than identifying and implementing solutions that change or alter “who or where they are” so they can become “what or whom they wish to be.”  Nobody is going to make us succeed – we must wrap success around ourselves by considering the ramifications of each action we take and the impact that each choice we make has on the world around us.  We cannot run away from “who” we have become – we only shift “what” we are to a new location by identifying our strengths (and utilizing them) as well as our weaknesses (working to correct or minimize their impact on our results) so we can share in the ownership of solutions developed through the contributions of many (rather than through our own limited knowledge or ability).  Though a new environment might provide a fresh perspective, it will not change what we do or how we do it UNTIL we identify our flaws and intentionally act to change (or overcome) them.

We cannot become something different by moving to a new location, beginning a new relationship or taking a new job unless (and until) we change, alter or modify ourselves in such a manner that new initiatives and altered perspectives are probabilities rather than remote possibilities.  Realistically establishing what role we play in the success of an endeavor (rather than claiming all the credit while shifting all the blame) will allow us to (collectively) accomplish much by elevating all to the highest level imaginable rather than lowering others to the highest level we might be able to individually achieve.

OVERCOMING FIRST IMPRESSIONS

Our first impressions often influence the way we respond to and interact with people – whether they are fair, right or completely “off base.”  When we pre-suppose what another’s strengths or weaknesses are because of the way they look, act or present themselves we limit (or elevate) their ability to contribute to the advancement of ideas, the alteration of environments or the success of future endeavors.  When we rush to judgment, defining the capabilities of others based on what we perceive rather than through an analysis of their proven abilities or an examination of the results they produce, we pre-dispose their performance to rise only to the level of competence our minds have established.  Some dangers inherent to allowing our first impressions (be they “spot on” or “way off”) to establish the potential contributions of others would include:

Unfounded perceptions can negatively influence our thoughts and actions – often encouraging us to make inappropriate and potentially harmful decisions.

Our perceptions can cause us to act more on feel than fact – a dangerous and unreliable driver when making significant decisions.  The way others look, dress or speak can indicate much about their actions, reactions and thoughts BUT it can also mislead us into limiting (or elevating) their capabilities.  I worked for a very successful business leader years ago that would always “dress down” when looking to buy any major purchase so that the sales person would not “pre-imagine” how much he could pay for the item but rather think about how low the price might have to go in order to make a sale.  When we label an individual based on what they look like, sound like or appear to be we potentially lose the potential they might have – then wonder why the person did not blossom as we hoped they would when we first met them.  People tend to make judgements based on first impressions but must look beneath the surface when determining the true value of an individual.  Successful individuals (in life, within relationships OR at work) take the time needed to identify (and grow) the strengths of those around them while nurturing (and developing) their areas of weakness.  Unless (and until) we look to leverage the abilities of others we will never be able to overcome the disabilities that we would otherwise focus upon.

We miss much in life when we assume to know what another is thinking as we limit what they might truly be able to contribute by rendering it unnecessary (or unacceptable) for them to speak.

We have all heard someone interrupt another by saying, “I know what you are thinking…” or simply complete another’s sentence only to hear, “That is not what I was going to say.”  When we assume what another thinks (or can contribute), we discount anything they might say or do to improve a situation.  Rather than defining another’s abilities through a potentially inaccurate first impression it is better to ask questions, listen to responses, and drill down to establish their true (or possible) capabilities.  Finding out what someone can contribute by creating an environment allowing him or her to utilize their knowledge as they leverage their experiences to realize their potential will accomplish much.  Successful people provide support and encouragement to individuals around them – helping them define and establish their own reality within a broad framework which has been communicated as being safe and acceptable while allowing (and encouraging) them to learn from failure (rather than trying to prevent them from ever making mistakes).

We tend to fulfill our own prophecies for what we can accomplish AND what others might achieve.  We limit our own potential when we allow ourselves to be content with a partial solution (no matter how much better it might be than what exists now) and inhibit those around us from growing when we establish ceilings that prevent them from reaching their full potential (or building spaces from which they cannot leave to explore other possibilities.  We stifle initiative when we allow our first impressions to dictate acceptable standards, expected actions and what should be accomplished (rather than considering what COULD be accomplished if only others were allowed to stretch their wings and fly on their own).

Some individuals refuse to set goals for fear they might fail – preferring to experience success in whatever they say or do as they measure progress rather than results when performing as directed rather than seeking new and innovative solutions.  While we should measure progress to identify how far we have come and how far we must go, it should be to determine how close we are to the accomplishment of a goal rather than a validation of past success, an excuse for failure or a justification of how far we have come (rather than looking to what might still lie ahead).  We should use accomplishment as a springboard towards future success rather than as a resting place that provides immediate gratification and keeps us from reaching for future rewards.  Had someone not imagined flight as being possible then sought results through practical efforts (rather than stopping when their thoughts had materialized), we may never have left the hanger at Kitty Hawk.  The first impression most had of Albert Einstein was a distracted individual having poor math skills who would never fit into society – an impression he did not accept as a final definition of his worth and value.  He chose to use the “label” as a springboard to accomplish what he dreamed possible rather than settling for what others thought probable – refusing to accept the limits others arbitrarily placed upon his potential as he sought fulfillment and self-worth in his own accomplishments. 

When we establish high expectations, great things happen.  We may find comfort but will rarely experience satisfaction should we settle for something less than the best. 

Individuals tend to rise to the level they are expected to reach – to accomplish the objectives that have been established for them (when they are established) but not often much more than what is expected.  It is important that we overcome our tendency to label people when we meet them, choosing instead to maintain an open mind as we seek astonishing results.  While someone labeled “mediocre” or “lacking” during a first impression does not often realize excellence, mediocrity cannot establish a foothold in our lives (or the lives of those around us) when we truly believe that all people are capable of accomplishing great things.  IF we feel that our first impressions are infallible – and seek to determine our direction based on our pre-conceived values of others – we will thrive ONLY if we can accept that our initial judgments may change and that what was once considered to be a reasonable expectation may, in fact, be but a foundation for future growth.

Successful people find it is easier to work with and build up the strengths of individuals than it is to overcome or try to develop their weaknesses – and that communicating lofty goals and expectations is a precursor to their becoming valued contributors.  Do not let your first impressions (be they overly positive as they may set others up to fail OR too negative as they may discourage and diminish their potential contributions) be the driving force in determining what might ultimately become possible.  Looking at what those around us might be able to accomplish (rather than focusing only upon what they have done) – then equipping them to achieve greatness by accepting their unique and individual potential and building upon the strengths they offer rather than focusing on the abilities they have yet to demonstrate – will allow us all to grow and thrive.

FINISHING THE RACE…

In order to grow and succeed – to contribute to the growth of those around us - one cannot do only what has been assigned (regardless of how well each individual assignment is performed).  Looking back towards where we have been rather than ahead towards where we wish to be – remaining content with the present rather than building upon it as a springboard to the future by doing what works as opposed to seeking what might work better – are signs of a life in stagnation.  If one wishes to achieve “the possible” rather than being content to accomplish only those things that have already been done, the thoughts, ideas and abilities of others must be incorporated into our individual dreams of the future to enhance and transform “what is” into “what could be.”  In order to ensure that such transformation can occur we must:

1)  Understand the difference between efficiency with effectiveness.  An e-mail may be efficient, but a conversation might more effectively resolve an issue without extended “replies and clarifications.”  Effective individuals make sure that every investment of time and/or energy has a direct and measurable impact – they accomplish things that need doing in order to move forward – and do them well – rarely wasting time or energy doing unnecessary things that “might be nice” but are not related to the accomplishment of their objectives.  Efficient individuals accomplish all things well whether or not they serve to advance their cause or move them towards a defined objective.  An immediate e-mail communication may efficiently promote conversation but might not effectively resolve an issue.

2)  Recognize that NOBODY is irreplaceable.   If an individual feels that nobody could EVER do what he or she does, that person has probably (unknowingly) limited what he or she can accomplish.  When we feel nobody could ever do the things we do as well as we do them – and accept that as an unwavering paradigm – we become so enamored with our abilities that we fail to identify our possibilities.  If nobody else can do (or even wishes to try doing) what you can then you will never advance beyond the rung of the ladder upon which you have firmly positioned yourself – potentially poised for greatness but unable to progress from where you are to where you wish to be.

3) Acknowledge that you MAY NOT know all the answers.  Though it may seem that whatever some do or say is right – that any direction they take turns out to be the path that is chosen – nobody has the experience or abilities to make all the right decisions regardless of the situation, environment or time-frame.  In reality, people knowing how to think through all the possibilities so they can ask the right questions are much more valuable than those who feel they are able to give all the right answers.  One must always be open to new ideas, techniques, and ways of doing things.  We can truly contribute to our organization’s success and profitability – or experience all that life could offer – ONLY after identifying the limitations of current systems, policies, practices or procedures by asking questions about how they might be improved.  Nothing will change, however, until we decide to act – to move forward by implementing the answers received of the questions we ask (rather than doing things as we have always done them because we think we know all the answers ourselves).

4)  ALWAYS give credit to others.  People recognizing and acknowledging the ideas and actions of others tend to share a never-ending ride to the success (and glory) – enjoying a seemingly unlimited potential “upside” while tempering their individual “downside” risk.  Those that take credit for another’s ideas had better like themselves a lot because they may not have supportive friends to prop them up in the future. 

5)  Add to existing abilities and upgrade outdated skills while refusing to accept “what is” as “what will always be.”  What was once necessary to maintain a life-long job or to enjoy a long-lasting relationship is no longer sufficient.  Employees who refuse to learn new skills or different ways of doing things typically fail to grow – those who refuse to retrain may not remain.  Unless an individual brings more into a relationship than he or she could ever expect it to return – is willing to give another more than is taken (unconditionally and without expectations), seeking to gain more by sharing than by receiving – he or she will never realize the treasures awaiting them beyond their current reality.

While we may be able to start a race on our own, we need the help, support and efforts of those around us to finish.  Life is not a sprint – it is a marathon.  To accomplish much, we must give much.  To receive support from those around us we must first encourage and support their individual growth.  To rise to the top – to finish the race – we must not only build the foundation upon which we stand (so that we are firmly rooted in our convictions) but we must accept the encouragement and support of those around us as we grow – recognizing both our ability AND our need to change – if we seek to “travel where no one has previously gone” in order to achieve that which has not been previously accomplished.

MAKING SOUND DECISIONS

Whether you feel it best to simply avoid them, live in frustration because of them or view them as an opportunity to shine, decisions are a necessary part of life.  Though some parents (and supervisors) try to protect others from the consequences of poor choices by catching them before they fall – preventing them from experiencing any negative ramifications by insulating them from failure – nobody is completely isolated from the decision-making process.  Some may wish they had a map that would provide a definitive route upon which to travel but the road to change is fraught with danger.  Others would like a detailed instruction sheet so that they know that the actions they ultimately take have a high likelihood of succeeding – preferring to act in ways that would guarantee predictable and consistent results rather than potentially significant rewards if a chance of devastating loss might also be present.  A select few, however, view each decision that faces them as an opportunity to choose which road to take, what path to follow, when to climb (or circumvent) a mountain as they celebrate the chance to act intentionally and exercise independent judgment to accomplish new and different things.

There are as many approaches to making decisions in life as there are people living it – and therein lies the problem.  Since no two people are alike, no two decisions will be alike, either.  There are very few absolutely “correct answers” to a question (though some may be better than others) NOR is any one answer completely wrong (as each solution presents different variables towards the resolution of an issue).  Regardless of the situation, the level of disruption or magnitude of change required, any intentional action taken is better than inaction or unintentional action that results in unintended consequences.  Reviewing and refining the possible actions we could take prior to acting helps to minimize risk and maximize success but far too often individuals delay their actions by dwelling upon why they should not act rather than considering why they should.  A fulfilled and worthwhile life is truly the ongoing result of what we choose to do and the actions we take (or intentionally choose NOT to do or take).

Making solid decisions that result in life-changing experiences requires careful consideration, intelligent planning and intentional action. Most successful individuals establish rules they use to hold themselves accountable for their actions (or their intentional lack of action) so that progress can be monitored and modifications implemented along the way rather than waiting until a destination is reached only to find that it is not where they wanted to go. While everyone lives by some set of values and ethics, some of the rules that provide the “highest return on investment” in the decision-making process would include:

·  It is OK and natural to dislike parts of any job, situation or relationship. It is NOT OK to avoid, refuse to do, or ignore the parts you dislike – or to discuss openly your dissatisfaction with others not having a need to know your opinion.  We accomplish much more when we move forward with a positive attitude than we do if complaining as we go about things we cannot influence or control.  Good decisions are the result of intentional disruptions or informed conformity.

·  It is OK to make a mistake but not OK to repeat the same mistake. Everyone that makes decisions will make their share of wrong decisions.  You have probably never initiated action if you are never wrong.  Most prefer that every choice they make would lead them to prosperity BUT it is OK to make a wrong decision on occasion as long as a lesson was learned.  Learn from your errors, using them as a springboard to leap forward when making decisions based on firm principles and reasonable information.  People will usually work with you – help you make intelligent decisions) – as long as you continue to show measurable progress or the ability (and willingness) to grow.

·  Focus on things you can control rather than worrying about those you cannot. Identify obstacles that are within your sphere of influence so you can remove them and act accordingly.  Actively seek to eliminate the hurdles that are outside of your control by giving them up to someone having the ability to influence or change them.

·  Lying, cheating, or stealing is intolerable if one expects to be valued or respected during the decision making process.  If you are the best performer or individual with the highest results – but those results came through dishonesty or at someone else’s expense – you will not be respected, credible NOR working (or participating in an ongoing relationship) for very long.  It is always more profitable (but much harder) to elevate others and bring ourselves along than to raise ourselves and expect others to grab on as we pass them by.
           

·  Results are recognized – effort is merely a means to the end. Do not seek praise for working hard or contributing greatly – recognition will follow the successful completion of objectives (and will be given to all involved).

·  All individuals may speak, question, and have a voice in any decision but that does not mean all votes are equal. Life is not a democracy.  Input is valued but the individual responsible for the ultimate success of any endeavor must make (and live with the results of) the final decision. Do not confuse “equal” with “equitable” as you live life – nor a democracy with efficiency.

·  Nothing is impossible in life.  While some solutions may not be cost-effective, are seemingly impractical or beyond our ability to implement, “I cannot,” “It is not possible,” and other self-defeating attitudes should not be allowed to enter (or rule) our lives.  Well thought-out solutions to issues you may encounter while doing your job (or during life in general) are not reasons for celebration, they are simply expectations of the way you should continually exhibit and utilize your abilities while striving for new decision, actions or solutions.

Everyone comes to a fork in the road – a decision point that forever changes what they have done or where they are going – redirecting all efforts and activities towards the accomplishment of what has yet to materialize.  Do not walk blindly upon an uncharted path or you may end up missing a turn and becoming helplessly lost within an impossible maze – unable to find an end OR return to the beginning for a fresh start. Establish the rules YOU choose to live by then keep them close to you, guiding your steps and actions as you consciously and intentionally decide to act AND act to implement your decisions.

INVEST YOUR TIME WISELY TO MAXIMIZE RESULTS

Time is seemingly in abundance when we have nothing to do – yet it eludes us when we are so busy that we might prefer it to stand still.  Some attempt to work through one project at a time – from start to finish – then move on to another.  Others work on multiple tasks by attacking different priorities – setting aside one project in favor of another prior to its completion – until all work is eventually completed (hopefully in a timely manner).  Still others tend to operate by “putting out fires.”  They work on one thing UNTIL something seemingly more important comes along, at which point everything is dropped to resolve the immediate crisis before returning to what they were doing.  Regardless of the kind of work style exhibited, too many individuals worry more about when they will finish the race than they do about finding pleasure along the way – or even recognizing the satisfaction of simply crossing the finish line.  Many worry needlessly about things outside of their control – spending precious hours documenting or validating why something cannot be easily accomplished because someone else has authority or control– rather than acting upon things over which they do have influence.   Others feel they never have the enough time to finish what must be done so they dare not “stop to smell the roses” along the way.   Those individuals often find themselves slaves to the very clock they so desperately seek to master – struggling to complete anything on time because they worry more about having the time to appropriately resolve an issue than simply moving forward, one step at a time, until it has been resolved.

Far too many people complain about the lemons in their lives – the disturbances, distractions and annoyances – than they do celebrating the opportunity to make (and enjoy) lemonade.  They dwell upon the fact that others possess the attributes they would prefer to exhibit rather than embracing and exhibiting their individual gifts and abilities.  Rather than finding satisfaction in all they have accomplished, they see only what has not been finished due to a lack of time or how much better a job they could have done “if only” more time had been given.  These people would say, “I did not do anything I wanted to this summer (vacation, holiday, etc.),” mourning that the season passed them by rather than recognizing how much was truly accomplished.  They would prefer to think about what was not done than what they did – often refusing to acknowledge how they may have impacted another as they dwell upon their own changing (and never satisfied) expectations.

Everyone can lose themselves in thoughts about what COULD HAVE BEEN.  It is easy to dwell on lost opportunity – to excuse a lack of execution by saying that the time for action has passed or the contribution that personal action may have made is not worth the effort expended.  It is harder to anticipate WHAT MAY YET BE – to seek issues not yet identified and commit to their being accomplished – and to accept each minor accomplishment as but a step on the road towards the completion of a major life event.  Whenever I become lost in time, chasing maddeningly after the tip of a second hand as it races around the clock, I remind myself that life is not measured by the time it takes to accomplish our objectives but rather by the objectives we are able to accomplish – by the impact we are able to make upon the lives of those around us – in the time we are given.

Summer is not over yet EVEN THOUGH many have already taken vacation and “settled” into a life of “what is” rather than one of “what is next.”  Major roadways are being repaired causing disruption in the “sameness” that many strive to maintain.  Perhaps we could gain more from thinking about the alternatives – the opportunities to explore areas not previously identified – that have been presented rather than dwelling upon how we wish we could live within our normal routine to accomplish our assigned objectives.  We often find ourselves buried by what must be finished before something new can begin rather than truly celebrating all we have done while seeking closure to the opportunities still available.  Whenever we seek what has not yet been done rather than dwelling upon what we did not accomplish we will discover ways never before considered in which we can make a difference in the lives of those around us. 

Seek all that you can possibly imagine in your life this summer by identifying new solutions to unresolved issues rather than making excuses for unintended consequences (or omissions).  Immerse yourself in the beauty around you – finding solace in the cry of a gull or joy in the laughter of a child – as you recharge and refresh prior to beginning anew.  Find peace within the hectic world around you, taking your life back from the clock as it ticks relentlessly on.  Time should never become but a measurement of how long it takes to fulfill your destiny.  Rather, allow it to become the measure upon which your identity, success and accomplishments can be monitored as you drive relentlessly towards fulfillment of your thoughts and the accomplishment of your objectives.