THE GAMES WE LEARN TO PLAY AS CHILDREN IMPACT US WELL BEYOND OUR CHILDHOOD

We learn to play many games as children – unfortunately resulting in us learning as much how to follow as to lead. “Simon Says…” is a game played by many a child where creativity and originality are discouraged in favor of doing exactly what is asked, allowed or permitted.  I once played “Simon says…” with my grandchildren while on vacation – having them walk obediently into the water without thinking (AND teaching them a lesson that those with longer strides will get wet sooner doing the same thing).  Many lessons in life MAY be learned by doing what we are told but far more can be gained through trial, error and learning through experience.

“Follow the leader” is another childhood game that discourages individuality in favor of simply blending in with a crowd. There can be only one leader while, by necessity and design, there are many followers. If you are fortunate enough to “lead”, you can pretty much choose the path that will be followed (your road to success) by deciding where the group will go, how it will get there and how much time it will take to reach your destination.  If you are among the many followers, however, it is hard to have much say in where you are going because you become too busy watching those ahead of you (without really focusing on where they might be going) while trying to stay ahead of (or at least out of the way of) those behind you.  Sadly, many schools, businesses, families and communities feel driven to teach individuals how to function in teams BUT fail to recognize that every team needs a leader.  Worse than that, many of our institutions have begun to feel that ANYONE is (and should be) able to lead – that all should somehow be treated (and able to respond) EQUALLY rather than EQUITABLY.  An effective leader must recognize that the people he or she is leading will follow anywhere but they can do that only if they see someone “out front” that they can trust (one cannot lead from behind).  Someone must break the ice or part the waters in order to be followed.

Dodge-ball – a “staple” when I was growing up (but now considered too dangerous to play) was another great learning game.  Those strong and accurate enough to throw the ball at the feet of others often won the game…those agile and alert enough to catch whatever was thrown their way also became strong contenders.  As with many children’s games, however (and with life itself), there was ultimately only one winner (those playing hard did not receive rewards or recognition).  The “winner” often came from the ranks of “the strong and developed aggressors” or the “agile anticipators” rather the “common folk” (which reflects what often happens in business as well – those developing their skills and talents usually receive many of the benefits given to those that “win” while those willing to play without personal investment or sacrifice tend to follow).

In order to grow and develop we must take the principles of what “Simon says…” and building on and expanding the stated expectations beyond the original directive to find success not considered possible.  We must “follow the leader” long enough to learn what direction we are going so we do not become lost during our travels but should, at some point in time, break away from the pack if we truly wish to demonstrate our abilities and tread where others fear to wander.  We must be agile and anticipate what might be coming if we expect to catch whatever life throws at us (and successfully deal with it) OR we must hone and develop our skills so that we might become the individual able to “take the shots” and “avoid the repercussions.”  Some have said that one learns all there is to know in life by the end of the kindergarten.  While this may not be entirely true, paying attention to the principles taught by children’s games can help us to overcome many of the challenges and opportunities presented to us in life as we grow older – and bring success in the ventures we choose to pursue if we listen to what we are told (and filter out what might be detrimental), follow where we are led (until we are able to venture out on our own) and anticipate what might be coming towards us (or develop our skills to the point that we might be able to better control the game).

The games we learned as children can be both fun and developmental because they do not often cause irreparable harm.  Rather they often provide a strong foundation upon which we can build as we grow and will help to create who we have become OR what we might one day achieve.  The decisions we make and the directions we take as adults, however, can result in more serious consequences than sitting out and watching until the next game begins.  We learn to play games as children so that we might be able to build upon our experiences when we grow.  We must build upon the lessons of right and wrong – of win or lose – learned as children if we want to benefit from the things we choose to do and gain from the activities in which we participate. 

Children’s games may be fun to play and teach subliminal lessons but they are the foundation from which we all grow.  Ask any child “who won” during a soccer game (that no longer tracks the score so nobody “loses”) and you will find that he or she knows exactly what the final score was (and often who scored the goals and who let them go past).  Ask any child who truly cares for them – who spends time with them – and you will receive an immediate answer.  Ask any child if they would rather play (without caring who wins) or would rather win (and enjoy playing the game to its fullest) and you will find that PERHAPS “adult values” of winning, of succeeding and of giving your all (expecting to be rewarded based on the degree of investment made) are established at a very early age.  Learn from the games of your youth – incorporate their lessons and assimilate their rewards – and you will find that the successes you find throughout your life are often built upon the foundation of play we enjoyed as a child.  The next time you get a chance to engage a child in play DO NOT let the opportunity pass you by.  Perhaps they can learn as much from the game as you did – which will serve them well as they continue to grow.