10 Hidden Truths That Can Help Us Thrive in Life

Everyone gets “stuck” occasionally…stopped dead in their tracks, unable to (or uninterested in) moving forward, wanting to do so much that just getting started seems like an impossible task or when not able to figure out where to begin simply stay where they are. It is not always a particular problem that knocks the train off its rails, it is sometimes an all-encompassing frustration – a massive mental block or perceived mountain that seemed to grow from a mole hill – that prevents us from accomplishing anything at all. Our attention gets scattered, our energy lessens, and we end up putting minimal effort into the accomplishment of our most important and critical activities. In order to “move beyond” the stagnant pool in which we find ourselves we must often identify what we are thinking that makes us feel so different, underachieving, or frustrated. When we are overwhelmed or confused, we often find ourselves ignoring several simple but hard truths about ourselves that must be accepted before we can move forward. Identifying what we want to change in order to alter or modify the results we will be able to accomplish then ACTING to make the changes happen are great points from which to step as you seek self-motivation and significant rewards.

When you decide that SOMETHING must change and focus first on YOURSELF before seeking to change others you do not have to think very hard for actionable answers. We all have a list of things that we should accept, must accomplish, or need to realize and more often than not the unwillingness to face one of these truths is what is keeping us stuck. Identifying and accepting the validity of these realities will almost always release the tension that holds us back so we can move forward with an anticipation of success. A typical list of “hidden truths” that might be identified would include:

1. No person is an island. While people can be independent, rely upon their own experiences and abilities, seek self-actualization and internal validation rather than depending upon encouragement or support from others and be happy doing what they have always done while accomplishing what they have always received, individuals grow through community. When we recognize that others can challenge us and hone our abilities rather than seeing the input of others as a roadblock or barricade to progress, we will be able to enhance “what is” in unexpected ways as we openly seek “what could be” or “what is best.” 
2. People are self-absorbed and tend to think “me first” when interacting with others. We all spend much of our mental energy thinking about ourselves which, in and of itself, is not necessarily a bad thing. Self-reflection is how we become stronger, which in turn makes us better equipped to help others. What IS wrong is if our thoughts become entirely centered around ourselves rather than seeking to accomplish good for the whole. 
3. Most people will not understand us and that is really okay. If we can get comfortable within our own boundaries and possibilities — comfortable enough to present the truest version of who and what we are to the world — the acceptance found in living a genuine life will be far more valuable than needing others to accept us. When we are “comfortable in our own skin” those that support and validate us will become the ones who matter most while those choosing not to will experience a loss from our absence rather than enhancing their gain.
4. Knowing all the answers might be the recognition that many seek. Knowing the questions to ask that might help to clarify (or identify new) answers is probably much more significant when developing a sense of accomplishment. Knowing it all does not lend itself to happiness…applying what you know to new situations and learning from the success or failure of the questions that rise to the top does.
5. We only get stronger by doing hard things. When life is easy, we become complacent. Growth comes from doing things that require serious effort – that often end in failure before ultimately providing new and unanticipated results.
6.  Living requires us to make difficult choices. Anything we do is a choice about how our abilities are invested in order to realize the best possible return. Will we catch up on emails or meet friends for a drink? Will we spend an extra hour at the office or go catch a movie? When we think about the choices, we must make in both our personal and our professional lives we understand how huge it is to identify, consider, plan, anticipate and act as we take one day at a time within this life we lead.
7. Free things are often worthless. When you give away all your time or work for free – your thoughts, feelings, emotions and passion without care or expectation – others may not always value what you give. While not necessarily a bad thing, those giving anything with the requirement that it be repaid in full are often disappointed. When one truly gives more than they can or will ever expect to receive in return, he/she often gets back more than could ever be anticipated.
8. 
   Maintaining relationships takes effort. Never take people for granted or they might walk away. If one INTENTIONALLY allows or accepts a relationship to end it is one thing but if it dissolves out of a lack of attention, care or due to self-serving ambition it may not only be gone but will probably never be re-established.
9. Suffering can be a good thing. A little bit of pain can bring a lot of perspective and empathy. Do not be afraid to experience pain BUT do not dwell within it as it can keep you from incorporating life’s lessons into the growth that can be experienced by learning (and moving on) from its mistakes.
10. It is okay to stand alone. We do not have to be around people 24/7 NOR do we need to be friends with EVERYONE including people we do not enjoy spending time with OR maintain a relationship with someone who does not make us happy. While we WANT to be successful, socially accepted and acceptable to others we NEED to be comfortable with ourselves, confident in who we are and happy in what we are becoming.

It is painful — and helpful — to live within our discomfort at times. We can learn from trials AND grow from past tribulations as long as we truly value the “getting up” more than the “staying down” while seeking a world teeming with possibilities rather than one stagnant in its complacency.