ARE YOU A PATH MAKER OR A PATH TAKER?

Have you ever met someone who sets a course in life based on how many others are doing the same thing? Rather than identifying problems, investigating root causes, and intentionally setting into motion the actions that would resolve issues in an individual and/or unique way, the path of least resistance is chosen – the one that seems most accepted by others – as these individuals travel upon roads that are well traveled, making “safe” (commonly acceptable) instead of “right” (based on fact rather than the opinion of others) decisions. Though more difficult to find, perhaps it might be better to align with individuals who seem to consistently and continuously “take the high road” in the way things are done and choose the path less traveled (rather than the easiest or most proven) when making decisions – for knowing (and associating with) such people strengthens one’s character which will inevitably lead to success.

Far too many people diminish their potential by following the crowd (doing what is considered by many to be “right and prudent”) rather than following their own beliefs. They seek popularity (or at least acceptance) rather than standing strong on their own values, judgments, and decisions (facing push back or negative opinions). They choose to blend into the majority – accepting the accolades and support that doing what has always been done brings – rather than taking criticism that standing alone often brings. They accept that things are as they should be rather than seeking what they might be if established systems and familiar processes were to be challenged. The “throng” tends to validate itself by thinking, “We are no different than anyone else – the same as all others with whom we associate so how can that be wrong?” rather than believing, “We are all unique individuals whose potential is limited only by our individual actions and behaviors.” The attacks our society mounts against individuals seeking to make a difference through non-conventional methods, actions that have not been validated, or untested thoughts and processes are often enough to discourage all but the brave from forging their own path. By homogenizing our unique characteristics into a single melting pot that can be universally accepted by all, “the many” seek to stifle the ability of all but a rare and outspoken few to make a difference in the world.  Allowing this to happen – either explicitly through participation or implicitly through acceptance – diminishes one’s ability to think, act and contribute in a meaningful way – particularly in any way that might be different than what has always been done in search of results that have never before been accomplished. When we seek the acceptance of others rather than identifying and enjoying the rewards of individual accomplishment, we often find that making others happy may not provide fulfillment.  While there are two ways to approach every opportunity, one tends to foster what is (and what some hope will always be) while the other tends to give us a glimpse into what could be (if only we allow ourselves to leave the beaten path to explore those less travelled). 

Following the crowd is easy. Anyone can do what others expect, go where others are going, act as others act and find a sense of community by blending in with those sharing a common trail or seeking a shared destination. Travelling familiar roads and doing things the way they have always been done can take the bumps and turns out of our journey BUT when we do things as they have always been done, we can expect nothing more in terms of results than has already been accomplished. When we move forward looking in the rearview mirror, focusing upon where we have been and what we have done, we cannot truly see where we are going or what might be accomplished. While teaching my grandkids to waterski I find myself telling them to “look ahead to where they are going rather than watching to see where they have been” if they wish to ski without falling – an axiom that should apply to all we say and do in life but is often abandoned when we settle for the acceptance and validation of others. Only when we accept that much can come from seeking a different reality than that chosen by the crowd will we realize loss can become gain, failure can breed success, and the decision to stop can be either a conclusion (accepting that what is will always be) OR a new beginning (failure is a detour rather than a dead end on the road to success). 

Too many leaders seek acceptance from those they lead rather than striving to earn their respect. Too many parents seek to be friends with their children (and their acquaintances) rather than establishing themselves as role models.  Too many teachers want to be “liked” by their students rather than viewed as being “tough but fair.”  Too many politicians make decisions based on polls that measure what the majority think they should do rather than doing what might negatively impact the majority IF a decision or course of action might be best for the values (and sustainability) of our nation. When forging a path using our personal strengths, values, and character, we tend to lean towards greatness in all that we say, do and accomplish. Alternatively, when we try to make ourselves look better by pulling others down – making ourselves look good by tarnishing another’s reputation or diminishing their abilities – we often find ourselves travelling upon roads fraught with hazards, potholes, barricades, and dead ends. There are two ways to look at every tunnel…to see a river flowing beneath a bridge…to see a path leading up a mountainside. We can see only from where we have come or potentially to where we wish to go but rarely can we see both directions at the same time – rarely can we hope to find what lies ahead by focusing upon what has been overcome behind. 

What kind of transformations might take place in your life (and the lives of others) if more decisions were made (and courses of action taken) driven by “What if…” and “Rather than…” thinking instead of than thoughts of “What is…” and “What is safe?” What might YOU be able to accomplish – what potential might you be able to realize – were you to “march to your own drummer” and forge your own path rather than listening to (and following) the music made by others? You will know (and be able to realize) your true potential ONLY should you choose to accept the risk and opportunity that individuality brings – leaving behind the comfort, support and (often) false security that being “one of the crowd” provides. Only those choosing to be path makers rather than path takers can truly rise to the top.