THE DEFINITION OF SUCCESS: ACCEPTING NOTHING LESS THAN WHAT YOU HOPE TO ACCOMPLISH BY BUILDING UPON WHAT YOU HAVE PREVIOUSLY DONE

Sometimes an individual is able to succeed, grow and prosper because of a unique skill set, a captivating personality, an influential and motivating mindset OR plain good luck in spite of (rather than because of) the things that are consciously done to create the success.  More often, however, much planning, analyzing, forecasting, and “sweat equity” go into bringing individual thoughts and dreams to fruition.  An individual must selflessly invest his or her time, money and effort to realize the returns that inevitably come when one mortgages their short-term leisure time for long-term rewards – but accomplishing anything, one must envision the future, determine how it can be enacted, then steadfastly advance towards its realization. 

One must closely monitor progress and constantly identify obstacles that could hinder the accomplishment of goals, either avoiding their negative impact or minimizing their effect, in order to help guarantee success.  Changes to established plans should be considered carefully before acting, but actions should be intentional rather than reactive or in response to temporary conditions.  A person will never be able to reach his or her full potential when focused intently upon the path rather than the prize at its conclusion – when looking back to where they have been rather than ahead to where they wish to travel – more concerned with stumbling than learning from each fall.

Individual success can be directly linked to the power a person allows him or herself to take (and the responsibility assumed for each intentional action taken) when contributing freely and creatively to growth.  In order to maximize the chances of success, an individual should first envision the future and where he or she may fit.  Questions that should be asked should include what does one WANT to be, WANT to accomplish, or can realistically EXPECT to achieve?  To taste success one must start with a conclusion - a goal or set of expectations – before embarking upon the path towards accomplishment.  Without an end point, one will never know when one chapter has concluded so that another can begin.  Life without purpose can be eventful but is rarely satisfying.  It may be full of new beginnings but is strangely at a loss for “ends.”  We cannot achieve what we do not believe BUT we will never know how much is possible until we truly identify our abilities, gifts and talents before openly and honestly expressing our expectations and desires for a different or improved future.

Once a goal has been established, an individual must determine how it can be accomplished.  What knowledge or ability must be attained to achieve the goal?  Who must be brought into the solution (to maximize the chances of success) and who should be excluded from its execution (to minimize the potential of failure)?  Too often, training is an afterthought to the accomplishment of a dream.  When we start act without thought we may taste limited success but it will be realized in spite of ourselves rather than because of anything that we intentionally did or could easily replicate.  In order to advance ourselves we must do things differently than they have been done in the past so we must develop new tools, thought processes and methodologies that can be leveraged to build alternative paths that lead to previously unconsidered destinations.  Seeking to leverage that which is common knowledge often reveals only what has been previously accomplished.  In order to fulfill our potential we must expand our horizons beyond the “here and now” to the “what if” and “why not”.

To achieve greatness, people MUST steadfastly advance towards the realization of their dreams.  In order to continually move forward, systems must be put in place to identify obstacles that could hinder progress AND to justify warranted changes.  An individual will never reach his or her full potential should he or she focus too intently upon the path rather than moving towards the prize at its conclusion.  Perhaps we should all take the time to chart a path upon which we can travel, setting our targets high, so that we can be an integral part of a well planned solution RATHER THAN simply a piece of the puzzle or a part of the problem that someone else must resolve.  Only by choosing to envision the future, to enact a solution and to steadfastly advance towards self-actualization (while keeping our eyes on the goal) will we ever achieve our true potential.

One’s potential is not measured by what he or she has done but rather by what he or she is capable of doing.  The potential of an individual is not an accounting of where he or she has been but rather an anticipation of where they might go.  In order to realize our full potential we should recognize and acknowledge the accomplishments of our past, allowing ourselves to bask but for a moment in the memories of what we did – as we let go of what we have proven possible while moving on towards those things that could only have been imagined.

WE MIGHT RUN (OR HIDE) FROM OTHERS BUT CANNOT ESCAPE OURSELVES

People tend to maximize the impact others have on their failures while minimizing their own contribution to negative results.  Likewise, they maximize their personal contributions towards any success while discounting the contribution of others.  They DO NOT realize that distancing themselves from a situation or problem does nothing to eliminate one of the most difficult things to run from – the person they see whenever they look in a mirror.  We can run from places, situations, relationships and the ramifications of the choices we make but we cannot alter “who we are” or how we react by simply positioning ourselves in a different space or time.  When recognizing the need for change and identifying the steps needed to implement it, “the monster in the closet” that needs addressing is often “us” (and the things we do) rather than “them” (or the things done to us).  Identifying and owning our own role in creating a roadblock to success is vital if we are to overcome the obstacles in front of us.  

Too many people live in a world of “what is” rather than in one of “what if” OR “what could be.” They like to make excuses for things that happen “to them” rather than identifying and implementing solutions that change or alter “who or where they are” so they can become “what or whom they wish to be.”  Nobody is going to make us succeed – we must wrap success around ourselves by considering the ramifications of each action we take and the impact that each choice we make has on the world around us.  We cannot run away from “who” we have become – we only shift “what” we are to a new location by identifying our strengths (and utilizing them) as well as our weaknesses (working to correct or minimize their impact on our results) so we can share in the ownership of solutions developed through the contributions of many (rather than through our own limited knowledge or ability).  Though a new environment might provide a fresh perspective, it will not change what we do or how we do it UNTIL we identify our flaws and intentionally act to change (or overcome) them.

We cannot become something different by moving to a new location, beginning a new relationship or taking a new job unless (and until) we change, alter or modify ourselves in such a manner that new initiatives and altered perspectives are probabilities rather than remote possibilities.  Realistically establishing what role we play in the success of an endeavor (rather than claiming all the credit while shifting all the blame) will allow us to (collectively) accomplish much by elevating all to the highest level imaginable rather than lowering others to the highest level we might be able to individually achieve.

OVERCOMING FIRST IMPRESSIONS

Our first impressions often influence the way we respond to and interact with people – whether they are fair, right or completely “off base.”  When we pre-suppose what another’s strengths or weaknesses are because of the way they look, act or present themselves we limit (or elevate) their ability to contribute to the advancement of ideas, the alteration of environments or the success of future endeavors.  When we rush to judgment, defining the capabilities of others based on what we perceive rather than through an analysis of their proven abilities or an examination of the results they produce, we pre-dispose their performance to rise only to the level of competence our minds have established.  Some dangers inherent to allowing our first impressions (be they “spot on” or “way off”) to establish the potential contributions of others would include:

Unfounded perceptions can negatively influence our thoughts and actions – often encouraging us to make inappropriate and potentially harmful decisions.

Our perceptions can cause us to act more on feel than fact – a dangerous and unreliable driver when making significant decisions.  The way others look, dress or speak can indicate much about their actions, reactions and thoughts BUT it can also mislead us into limiting (or elevating) their capabilities.  I worked for a very successful business leader years ago that would always “dress down” when looking to buy any major purchase so that the sales person would not “pre-imagine” how much he could pay for the item but rather think about how low the price might have to go in order to make a sale.  When we label an individual based on what they look like, sound like or appear to be we potentially lose the potential they might have – then wonder why the person did not blossom as we hoped they would when we first met them.  People tend to make judgements based on first impressions but must look beneath the surface when determining the true value of an individual.  Successful individuals (in life, within relationships OR at work) take the time needed to identify (and grow) the strengths of those around them while nurturing (and developing) their areas of weakness.  Unless (and until) we look to leverage the abilities of others we will never be able to overcome the disabilities that we would otherwise focus upon.

We miss much in life when we assume to know what another is thinking as we limit what they might truly be able to contribute by rendering it unnecessary (or unacceptable) for them to speak.

We have all heard someone interrupt another by saying, “I know what you are thinking…” or simply complete another’s sentence only to hear, “That is not what I was going to say.”  When we assume what another thinks (or can contribute), we discount anything they might say or do to improve a situation.  Rather than defining another’s abilities through a potentially inaccurate first impression it is better to ask questions, listen to responses, and drill down to establish their true (or possible) capabilities.  Finding out what someone can contribute by creating an environment allowing him or her to utilize their knowledge as they leverage their experiences to realize their potential will accomplish much.  Successful people provide support and encouragement to individuals around them – helping them define and establish their own reality within a broad framework which has been communicated as being safe and acceptable while allowing (and encouraging) them to learn from failure (rather than trying to prevent them from ever making mistakes).

We tend to fulfill our own prophecies for what we can accomplish AND what others might achieve.  We limit our own potential when we allow ourselves to be content with a partial solution (no matter how much better it might be than what exists now) and inhibit those around us from growing when we establish ceilings that prevent them from reaching their full potential (or building spaces from which they cannot leave to explore other possibilities.  We stifle initiative when we allow our first impressions to dictate acceptable standards, expected actions and what should be accomplished (rather than considering what COULD be accomplished if only others were allowed to stretch their wings and fly on their own).

Some individuals refuse to set goals for fear they might fail – preferring to experience success in whatever they say or do as they measure progress rather than results when performing as directed rather than seeking new and innovative solutions.  While we should measure progress to identify how far we have come and how far we must go, it should be to determine how close we are to the accomplishment of a goal rather than a validation of past success, an excuse for failure or a justification of how far we have come (rather than looking to what might still lie ahead).  We should use accomplishment as a springboard towards future success rather than as a resting place that provides immediate gratification and keeps us from reaching for future rewards.  Had someone not imagined flight as being possible then sought results through practical efforts (rather than stopping when their thoughts had materialized), we may never have left the hanger at Kitty Hawk.  The first impression most had of Albert Einstein was a distracted individual having poor math skills who would never fit into society – an impression he did not accept as a final definition of his worth and value.  He chose to use the “label” as a springboard to accomplish what he dreamed possible rather than settling for what others thought probable – refusing to accept the limits others arbitrarily placed upon his potential as he sought fulfillment and self-worth in his own accomplishments. 

When we establish high expectations, great things happen.  We may find comfort but will rarely experience satisfaction should we settle for something less than the best. 

Individuals tend to rise to the level they are expected to reach – to accomplish the objectives that have been established for them (when they are established) but not often much more than what is expected.  It is important that we overcome our tendency to label people when we meet them, choosing instead to maintain an open mind as we seek astonishing results.  While someone labeled “mediocre” or “lacking” during a first impression does not often realize excellence, mediocrity cannot establish a foothold in our lives (or the lives of those around us) when we truly believe that all people are capable of accomplishing great things.  IF we feel that our first impressions are infallible – and seek to determine our direction based on our pre-conceived values of others – we will thrive ONLY if we can accept that our initial judgments may change and that what was once considered to be a reasonable expectation may, in fact, be but a foundation for future growth.

Successful people find it is easier to work with and build up the strengths of individuals than it is to overcome or try to develop their weaknesses – and that communicating lofty goals and expectations is a precursor to their becoming valued contributors.  Do not let your first impressions (be they overly positive as they may set others up to fail OR too negative as they may discourage and diminish their potential contributions) be the driving force in determining what might ultimately become possible.  Looking at what those around us might be able to accomplish (rather than focusing only upon what they have done) – then equipping them to achieve greatness by accepting their unique and individual potential and building upon the strengths they offer rather than focusing on the abilities they have yet to demonstrate – will allow us all to grow and thrive.

FINISHING THE RACE…

In order to grow and succeed – to contribute to the growth of those around us - one cannot do only what has been assigned (regardless of how well each individual assignment is performed).  Looking back towards where we have been rather than ahead towards where we wish to be – remaining content with the present rather than building upon it as a springboard to the future by doing what works as opposed to seeking what might work better – are signs of a life in stagnation.  If one wishes to achieve “the possible” rather than being content to accomplish only those things that have already been done, the thoughts, ideas and abilities of others must be incorporated into our individual dreams of the future to enhance and transform “what is” into “what could be.”  In order to ensure that such transformation can occur we must:

1)  Understand the difference between efficiency with effectiveness.  An e-mail may be efficient, but a conversation might more effectively resolve an issue without extended “replies and clarifications.”  Effective individuals make sure that every investment of time and/or energy has a direct and measurable impact – they accomplish things that need doing in order to move forward – and do them well – rarely wasting time or energy doing unnecessary things that “might be nice” but are not related to the accomplishment of their objectives.  Efficient individuals accomplish all things well whether or not they serve to advance their cause or move them towards a defined objective.  An immediate e-mail communication may efficiently promote conversation but might not effectively resolve an issue.

2)  Recognize that NOBODY is irreplaceable.   If an individual feels that nobody could EVER do what he or she does, that person has probably (unknowingly) limited what he or she can accomplish.  When we feel nobody could ever do the things we do as well as we do them – and accept that as an unwavering paradigm – we become so enamored with our abilities that we fail to identify our possibilities.  If nobody else can do (or even wishes to try doing) what you can then you will never advance beyond the rung of the ladder upon which you have firmly positioned yourself – potentially poised for greatness but unable to progress from where you are to where you wish to be.

3) Acknowledge that you MAY NOT know all the answers.  Though it may seem that whatever some do or say is right – that any direction they take turns out to be the path that is chosen – nobody has the experience or abilities to make all the right decisions regardless of the situation, environment or time-frame.  In reality, people knowing how to think through all the possibilities so they can ask the right questions are much more valuable than those who feel they are able to give all the right answers.  One must always be open to new ideas, techniques, and ways of doing things.  We can truly contribute to our organization’s success and profitability – or experience all that life could offer – ONLY after identifying the limitations of current systems, policies, practices or procedures by asking questions about how they might be improved.  Nothing will change, however, until we decide to act – to move forward by implementing the answers received of the questions we ask (rather than doing things as we have always done them because we think we know all the answers ourselves).

4)  ALWAYS give credit to others.  People recognizing and acknowledging the ideas and actions of others tend to share a never-ending ride to the success (and glory) – enjoying a seemingly unlimited potential “upside” while tempering their individual “downside” risk.  Those that take credit for another’s ideas had better like themselves a lot because they may not have supportive friends to prop them up in the future. 

5)  Add to existing abilities and upgrade outdated skills while refusing to accept “what is” as “what will always be.”  What was once necessary to maintain a life-long job or to enjoy a long-lasting relationship is no longer sufficient.  Employees who refuse to learn new skills or different ways of doing things typically fail to grow – those who refuse to retrain may not remain.  Unless an individual brings more into a relationship than he or she could ever expect it to return – is willing to give another more than is taken (unconditionally and without expectations), seeking to gain more by sharing than by receiving – he or she will never realize the treasures awaiting them beyond their current reality.

While we may be able to start a race on our own, we need the help, support and efforts of those around us to finish.  Life is not a sprint – it is a marathon.  To accomplish much, we must give much.  To receive support from those around us we must first encourage and support their individual growth.  To rise to the top – to finish the race – we must not only build the foundation upon which we stand (so that we are firmly rooted in our convictions) but we must accept the encouragement and support of those around us as we grow – recognizing both our ability AND our need to change – if we seek to “travel where no one has previously gone” in order to achieve that which has not been previously accomplished.

MAKING SOUND DECISIONS

Whether you feel it best to simply avoid them, live in frustration because of them or view them as an opportunity to shine, decisions are a necessary part of life.  Though some parents (and supervisors) try to protect others from the consequences of poor choices by catching them before they fall – preventing them from experiencing any negative ramifications by insulating them from failure – nobody is completely isolated from the decision-making process.  Some may wish they had a map that would provide a definitive route upon which to travel but the road to change is fraught with danger.  Others would like a detailed instruction sheet so that they know that the actions they ultimately take have a high likelihood of succeeding – preferring to act in ways that would guarantee predictable and consistent results rather than potentially significant rewards if a chance of devastating loss might also be present.  A select few, however, view each decision that faces them as an opportunity to choose which road to take, what path to follow, when to climb (or circumvent) a mountain as they celebrate the chance to act intentionally and exercise independent judgment to accomplish new and different things.

There are as many approaches to making decisions in life as there are people living it – and therein lies the problem.  Since no two people are alike, no two decisions will be alike, either.  There are very few absolutely “correct answers” to a question (though some may be better than others) NOR is any one answer completely wrong (as each solution presents different variables towards the resolution of an issue).  Regardless of the situation, the level of disruption or magnitude of change required, any intentional action taken is better than inaction or unintentional action that results in unintended consequences.  Reviewing and refining the possible actions we could take prior to acting helps to minimize risk and maximize success but far too often individuals delay their actions by dwelling upon why they should not act rather than considering why they should.  A fulfilled and worthwhile life is truly the ongoing result of what we choose to do and the actions we take (or intentionally choose NOT to do or take).

Making solid decisions that result in life-changing experiences requires careful consideration, intelligent planning and intentional action. Most successful individuals establish rules they use to hold themselves accountable for their actions (or their intentional lack of action) so that progress can be monitored and modifications implemented along the way rather than waiting until a destination is reached only to find that it is not where they wanted to go. While everyone lives by some set of values and ethics, some of the rules that provide the “highest return on investment” in the decision-making process would include:

·  It is OK and natural to dislike parts of any job, situation or relationship. It is NOT OK to avoid, refuse to do, or ignore the parts you dislike – or to discuss openly your dissatisfaction with others not having a need to know your opinion.  We accomplish much more when we move forward with a positive attitude than we do if complaining as we go about things we cannot influence or control.  Good decisions are the result of intentional disruptions or informed conformity.

·  It is OK to make a mistake but not OK to repeat the same mistake. Everyone that makes decisions will make their share of wrong decisions.  You have probably never initiated action if you are never wrong.  Most prefer that every choice they make would lead them to prosperity BUT it is OK to make a wrong decision on occasion as long as a lesson was learned.  Learn from your errors, using them as a springboard to leap forward when making decisions based on firm principles and reasonable information.  People will usually work with you – help you make intelligent decisions) – as long as you continue to show measurable progress or the ability (and willingness) to grow.

·  Focus on things you can control rather than worrying about those you cannot. Identify obstacles that are within your sphere of influence so you can remove them and act accordingly.  Actively seek to eliminate the hurdles that are outside of your control by giving them up to someone having the ability to influence or change them.

·  Lying, cheating, or stealing is intolerable if one expects to be valued or respected during the decision making process.  If you are the best performer or individual with the highest results – but those results came through dishonesty or at someone else’s expense – you will not be respected, credible NOR working (or participating in an ongoing relationship) for very long.  It is always more profitable (but much harder) to elevate others and bring ourselves along than to raise ourselves and expect others to grab on as we pass them by.
           

·  Results are recognized – effort is merely a means to the end. Do not seek praise for working hard or contributing greatly – recognition will follow the successful completion of objectives (and will be given to all involved).

·  All individuals may speak, question, and have a voice in any decision but that does not mean all votes are equal. Life is not a democracy.  Input is valued but the individual responsible for the ultimate success of any endeavor must make (and live with the results of) the final decision. Do not confuse “equal” with “equitable” as you live life – nor a democracy with efficiency.

·  Nothing is impossible in life.  While some solutions may not be cost-effective, are seemingly impractical or beyond our ability to implement, “I cannot,” “It is not possible,” and other self-defeating attitudes should not be allowed to enter (or rule) our lives.  Well thought-out solutions to issues you may encounter while doing your job (or during life in general) are not reasons for celebration, they are simply expectations of the way you should continually exhibit and utilize your abilities while striving for new decision, actions or solutions.

Everyone comes to a fork in the road – a decision point that forever changes what they have done or where they are going – redirecting all efforts and activities towards the accomplishment of what has yet to materialize.  Do not walk blindly upon an uncharted path or you may end up missing a turn and becoming helplessly lost within an impossible maze – unable to find an end OR return to the beginning for a fresh start. Establish the rules YOU choose to live by then keep them close to you, guiding your steps and actions as you consciously and intentionally decide to act AND act to implement your decisions.

INVEST YOUR TIME WISELY TO MAXIMIZE RESULTS

Time is seemingly in abundance when we have nothing to do – yet it eludes us when we are so busy that we might prefer it to stand still.  Some attempt to work through one project at a time – from start to finish – then move on to another.  Others work on multiple tasks by attacking different priorities – setting aside one project in favor of another prior to its completion – until all work is eventually completed (hopefully in a timely manner).  Still others tend to operate by “putting out fires.”  They work on one thing UNTIL something seemingly more important comes along, at which point everything is dropped to resolve the immediate crisis before returning to what they were doing.  Regardless of the kind of work style exhibited, too many individuals worry more about when they will finish the race than they do about finding pleasure along the way – or even recognizing the satisfaction of simply crossing the finish line.  Many worry needlessly about things outside of their control – spending precious hours documenting or validating why something cannot be easily accomplished because someone else has authority or control– rather than acting upon things over which they do have influence.   Others feel they never have the enough time to finish what must be done so they dare not “stop to smell the roses” along the way.   Those individuals often find themselves slaves to the very clock they so desperately seek to master – struggling to complete anything on time because they worry more about having the time to appropriately resolve an issue than simply moving forward, one step at a time, until it has been resolved.

Far too many people complain about the lemons in their lives – the disturbances, distractions and annoyances – than they do celebrating the opportunity to make (and enjoy) lemonade.  They dwell upon the fact that others possess the attributes they would prefer to exhibit rather than embracing and exhibiting their individual gifts and abilities.  Rather than finding satisfaction in all they have accomplished, they see only what has not been finished due to a lack of time or how much better a job they could have done “if only” more time had been given.  These people would say, “I did not do anything I wanted to this summer (vacation, holiday, etc.),” mourning that the season passed them by rather than recognizing how much was truly accomplished.  They would prefer to think about what was not done than what they did – often refusing to acknowledge how they may have impacted another as they dwell upon their own changing (and never satisfied) expectations.

Everyone can lose themselves in thoughts about what COULD HAVE BEEN.  It is easy to dwell on lost opportunity – to excuse a lack of execution by saying that the time for action has passed or the contribution that personal action may have made is not worth the effort expended.  It is harder to anticipate WHAT MAY YET BE – to seek issues not yet identified and commit to their being accomplished – and to accept each minor accomplishment as but a step on the road towards the completion of a major life event.  Whenever I become lost in time, chasing maddeningly after the tip of a second hand as it races around the clock, I remind myself that life is not measured by the time it takes to accomplish our objectives but rather by the objectives we are able to accomplish – by the impact we are able to make upon the lives of those around us – in the time we are given.

Summer is not over yet EVEN THOUGH many have already taken vacation and “settled” into a life of “what is” rather than one of “what is next.”  Major roadways are being repaired causing disruption in the “sameness” that many strive to maintain.  Perhaps we could gain more from thinking about the alternatives – the opportunities to explore areas not previously identified – that have been presented rather than dwelling upon how we wish we could live within our normal routine to accomplish our assigned objectives.  We often find ourselves buried by what must be finished before something new can begin rather than truly celebrating all we have done while seeking closure to the opportunities still available.  Whenever we seek what has not yet been done rather than dwelling upon what we did not accomplish we will discover ways never before considered in which we can make a difference in the lives of those around us. 

Seek all that you can possibly imagine in your life this summer by identifying new solutions to unresolved issues rather than making excuses for unintended consequences (or omissions).  Immerse yourself in the beauty around you – finding solace in the cry of a gull or joy in the laughter of a child – as you recharge and refresh prior to beginning anew.  Find peace within the hectic world around you, taking your life back from the clock as it ticks relentlessly on.  Time should never become but a measurement of how long it takes to fulfill your destiny.  Rather, allow it to become the measure upon which your identity, success and accomplishments can be monitored as you drive relentlessly towards fulfillment of your thoughts and the accomplishment of your objectives.

FULFILL YOUR POTENTIAL BY THINKING BEYOND YOUR CAPABILITIES AND SEEKING MORE THAN COULD BE IMAGINED POSSIBLE

Researchers tell us that walking in an upbeat way with your head held high as you look ahead to where you are going can improve one’s mood – and that swaying from side to side while walking (meandering without meaning or purpose) can make one be depressed and sad.  Resisting temptations such as chocolate, fats, and “indulgent” foods elevates one’s self-perception and esteem while succumbing to those temptations creates an attitude of failure.  Talking to a total stranger while travelling (rather than isolating yourself within your own thoughts) helps one to feel more “grounded” and accepted in life.  Sitting with good posture rather than in a slumped-over manner causes individuals to be more positive in their reactions to life and their hopes for the future.  It seems that many of the “right things” we do have a positive affect on our health and our future possibilities while the “wrong” or “questionable” things we do lead us to a more unhealthy lifestyle and less rewarding destinations.  While these conclusions have been developed as a result of observations made during controlled, scientific research, think about some of the corollaries we could take from a “living the dream” rather than an “enduring the nightmare” attitude.

I knew a very capable individual who tended to think more about what might go wrong than what could go right.  He dwelt upon the possible – making sure that he would be able to respond to any contingency imaginable – often missing the opportunity to “strike while the iron was hot” due to his deliberate nature and his over-thinking each situation.  He was hesitant to build upon his accomplishments for fear that the “fall from grace” would be more drastic and destructive than was the rise to success – effectively ensuring that he would not fail because he minimized the possibility of failure by taking sure and measured actions that resulted in predictable and anticipated results. While he never tasted "agony of defeat" he never truly experienced the "thrill of victory" in his life.

I knew another individual that considered a situation, thought about several of the more obvious ramifications of his actions, then decided to act on the information he had “in hand” rather than continuing to “posture” himself in a way that might avoid all risk or minimize the chances of failure.  He often acted (intentionally) knowing what would likely happen, what could possibly happen and what had a small (but realistic) chance of happening – but his actions often put him ahead of his competition and in front of “the crowd,” allowing him to hold his head high in the discovery of the unknown rather than forcing him to look down while following the footsteps of another without fulfilling his or her individual dreams.  While acting before having all the possible outcomes identified may require us to react and respond to more "contingencies" along the way, it will almost always take us to a place where "no man has gone before" as we experience rewards not previously expected, anticipated or imagined. 

Many people silently commit (to themselves) that they will change (multiple times throughout the year) in order to alter their anticipated expectations.  They think that altering their behavior will produce significantly different results BUT are not committed enough to the change that they are willing to share their intentions with another (for fear of failure or in an active resistance to outside authority or control).  When individuals focus on the change rather than looking forward to an altered result – start with where they are and what they have done rather than seeking something different or dreaming of an alternative reality – they tend to experience short-term differences rather than life-altering transition.  Commitments to change come in many shapes and sizes but would include things like going to the gym (for 1 – 2 months), exercising at home (for a week), driving safely (until you are late for a meeting) or spending more time with friends and family (unless there is a major project at work).  Self-generated and monitored expectations of change without external support and accountability seldom result in lasting transformation.  We can accomplish only those things we have seen or done when left to our own devices and given only our own support for we need to be praised and complimented for our positive actions (and held accountable for our shortcomings when experiencing failure) if ever we are to realize success.

If “walking with confidence” helps people be happier, think what the accomplishment of an expressed goal (even if for only a short time) might do for one’s demeanor and self-confidence.  Rather than trying to implement change or speak as another’s mouthpiece or act as his/her clone, why not commit to transform?  Do not accept only what is attainable – rather reach beyond the probable to experience the possible.  Set your targets boldly where people have previously feared to wander – not as a means to challenge defeat but rather as a way to break through to destinations not yet discovered.  When one accepts the things that others have already accomplished and defined as their personal benchmarks for success, how can you NOT know what to expect or WHEN it might happen.  When you seek new frontiers – looking forward with anticipation rather than backwards in fear or dread – there will be less criticism of the choices you make and the roads you take because others have not yet “been there” or “done that” with their lives.

Sincerely believing that you will succeed – when supported with appropriate training and resources – will contribute greatly to success.  Anticipating failure almost always becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.  Setting the bar high keeps your head up (and your attitude will follow).  Failing to set a goal will allow your head to drop as you drift aimlessly without a plan or a target.  Acting happy in life helps us to be more energetic, innovative and accomplished in what we do and say.  Establishing your destination before you determine your route will help you accomplish things nobody has yet done.  Keep your head up while looking forward to where you COULD go and you will experience greatness (rather than looking down to follow the path of another as it leads to anticipated results and expected outcomes).  To “be all that you can be” you must actively and intentionally decide to seek more than you could ever be given.