VALUE YOUR TIME AND FIND JOY IN THE JOURNEY

During this time of unprecedented “isolation,” many are grumbling about all they cannot do rather than all that might be possible.  Why is it that people tend to rush to judgment (particularly of others) without trying to find “the story behind the story?”  Too many hurry up to wait and do anything but “stop to smell the roses” or try to accomplish all that really NEEDS to be done rather than all that they may WANT to be done.  We seem to worry more about how quickly we can finish the race (the lawn, the wash, the cleaning) than about the joy along the way — or even the satisfaction derived from simply crossing the finish line (eventually even if not “first”).  People far too often worry needlessly about things outside their control rather than identifying the things over which they do have influence and acting upon them.  The “stay at home” order is a reality – perhaps a huge inconvenience and a potentially crippling blow to our economy, but a reality that we – as creative individuals – have the ability to work with and through but not ignore or pretend it does not exist.  Fearing that we do not have the time to slow down – to appreciate the things around us because of the unrealistic expectations we sometimes place upon themselves – makes us slaves to the very clock we desperately seek to master as we try to keep ourselves busy to the point of exhaustion so we can complete a journey rather than seeking the enjoyment along the way as we move towards completion.

Many people complain about the lemons in life rather than celebrating the opportunity to make lemonade. The summer weather is too hot (yet January and February will almost certainly bring complaints about it being too cold)...I cannot stay at home because there is nothing there to do (while complaining there is too much to do when in the office so they never make it home on time)...I hate being alone at home (when many have a family that could be loved, relationships that could be strengthened and appreciation that could be shown).  Rather than finding satisfaction in who they are, what they are becoming and all they have accomplished, some see only what has not been finished due to a lack of time, what others are not doing and how the inability of someone else to contribute is getting in the way of what is not getting done. They spend time wishing they had something more rather than being grateful for what they have – wanting what another might have rather than seeking how they might be able to access things that are truly important.  We have become a nation of complainers who find satisfaction in bringing others down in order to make ourselves look better rather than elevating ourselves so we can pull others up with us.  Perhaps we should choose not to rush to judge others by taking the time to ask WHY someone acted in a way we might feel is foolish or ill-advised. Rather than expediting our condemnation, we should take time to consider that our own perspectives (expectations and frustrations) might be the cause of our exasperation rather than the well-intended actions of someone else that just do not fit into our inflexible reality.

Think about how much our words might matter if we offered advice and counsel rather than critically dismissing another’s action as being worthless, wrong or misguided.  While not everyone agrees with the short-term impact that the Governor’s (and the President’s) decisions are making on their lives – and the immediate impact may seem dark and irreconcilable – what has been decided is done so perhaps it is better to work with it rather than complain about it.  Complaining about decisions over which we have absolutely no control provides a short-term “fix” as it allows us to “vent” about our misgivings.  Unless (and until) we take positive action (sometimes which might include enjoying the things we would not have been able to see had we done things the way they have always been done to achieve what has always been accomplished) we will not be able to develop realistic expectations so we may never taste the satisfaction of accomplishment.

Why hurry up to wait? I have been passed by countless drivers rushing to get to a destination that might include half empty parking lots, ravaged grocery shelves and vacant offices as they refuse to leave the deserted passing lane upon which they choose to travel.  If you are going to have to wait anyway, use the time preparing for the journey. You can only control your own behavior. Each individual must take responsibility for his or her own actions so that they might be able to enjoy the rewards (or deal with the repercussions) that result from those decisions.  If someone is frustrating you by being late, use the time productively to think about how you might be able to change the situation. Avoid the senseless feeling of angst caused by another’s thoughtless action by taking something you can do while waiting.  If you can arrive early to a meeting, maximize your time by doing so but call ahead to make sure it is alright with the person you are meeting rather than showing up unannounced. If you are going to be late, call ahead to ask if it is alright or if you should reschedule. At least your tardiness will not be holding others up.  Perhaps focusing on your own flexibility (which you CAN control) will help to make your journey more enjoyable than fretting about another’s inflexibility (rudeness, tardiness or lack of purpose) over which you truly have no control.  Rather than worrying about all that is not happening or not getting done during these times of health crisis, what COULD you be doing to better yourself or help others?  Far more can be accomplished in life when we truly draw a line in the sand and step forward without looking back rather than simply putting out toe over the line but never moving beyond it.

People can be far too quick to blame and too slow to seek responsibility.  They far too often assign fault and transfer blame as to why something cannot be accomplished rather than to seek a workable solution and ensure its implementation.  Some measure the moments of their life by counting the number of breaths they take – the number of things they accomplish or the magnitude of their success. Might not a better measure of our lives be to track the number of moments we can discover that take our breath away – the depth and breadth of our accomplishments or the impact of our relationships? Spend time during the coming “weeks at home” to immerse yourself in the beauty our region provides – the depth of the relationships we have with the families that surround us.

Though we cannot alter the reality in which we find ourselves living we can stop chasing the hands of time as they race relentlessly around the clock. The sands of time will not bury us if we become the master of our own universe by taking the time to appreciate not only where we are going but also how, when and if we chose to arrive. Stay safe during these troubled times but be practical.  Use the time you may not have wanted to accomplish things you had not previously imagined and enjoy sights, relationships and activities that you may once have made yourself too busy to recognize.  Should you add this attitude of discovery to your daily routines when life begins to return to normal, what could possibly stand in your way from reaching the realistic destinations you establish when focusing upon what you can control, influence or change.

HOPE FOR THE BEST (while planning for but NEVER expecting the worst) IF YOU WANT TO SUCCEED

Some people identify the many things that could go wrong then spend most of their waking hours trying to avoid those possibilities.  They find themselves worrying so much about what COULD go wrong that they have no time to consider what MIGHT go right.  Focusing on (and investing in) negative outcomes tends to spiral into a self-fulfilling prophecy of sorts – when we are so convinced that something is going to fail it becomes our driving force and we tend to make decisions, take steps and move towards that destination – laser focused with blinders on and no alternative courses of action being considered.  If we think something it is likely to become reality, it most likely will unless we intentionally change the likelihood by taking positive and definitive action.  Successful people (and those that are generally happy) tend to hope for (and expect) the best possible outcome (rather than worry and fret over the most likely disaster) while preparing for and remaining cognizant of what COULD happen in order to formulate several courses of action to take IF (not when) the worst begins to happen.

Examples of this kind of thinking are plentiful in society today.  Individuals looking to take on new responsibilities or move to a new job often think about what will happen if the move does not work out.  Will their old job still be available?  Will they be able to do something else in the new organization if it does not work out?  Leaders seek employment contracts to protect them rather than allowing their accomplishments make them irreplaceable.  Many years ago workers at a local manufacturing plant sought representation by a collective bargaining agent “in case” the company shut down so they could receive severance pay and a cushion upon which to land RATHER THAN seeking increased compensation to better reward them for their results (the Union was ratified and the company shut down without providing significant severance compensation).  People go into relationships thinking about how they will move on or who will be there if their partnership “goes south” rather than seeing it as something more permanent that might take time, effort and sacrifice to solidify.  Simply put, when people expect something to happen it often does.  You overeat around the Holidays and know you will gain weight and (surprisingly???) it happens.  You make a New Year’s Resolution knowing that you will probably abandon it by February and guess what?  You start to get too busy to see it through after about 3 weeks of half-hearted effort.  You begin a new project by thinking about why it could never work because it is so different from what is being done now.  If that is truly your thinking you should probably never even begin to travel alternative paths because they will only lead to dead ends, detours and cliffs that will keep you from moving forward.

An optimist is defined as a person who tends to be hopeful and confident about the future or the success of something – one who believes that this world is the best of all possible worlds and that good must ultimately prevail over evil.  Perhaps it could also be stated that an optimist is one who believes that the best possible outcome will be realized because of his or her personal actions and the efforts of those involved and engaged.  An optimist is not an unrealistic “rose colored glasses” person but rather one whom fully invests in achieving a positive outcome because he or she SEES and FEELS how their efforts will be rewarded almost before they begin to move forward.  Planning for the best DOES NOT (necessarily) mean that one should expect something that would take a miracle to produce or that has very little fiscal, practical or historical support to happen.  Wishing and hoping for a BB gun as a child may or may not bring those thoughts to fruition.  Hoping for a way to be your company’s President may be a realistic dream for some employees but may not fall within the “reality” framework for many others.  Unless (and until), however, we begin to think like achievers – like a “success just waiting to happen” – will we become anything more than complainers or (even worse) finger pointers assigning blame as validation and justification for why what we thought was going to happen did.

A pessimist is defined as a person who tends to see the worst aspect of things or believe that the worst will happen - a person who believes that this world is as bad as it could be or that evil will ultimately prevail over good.  While pessimists are often right in the results they think they will attain it is usually due to the fact that they set their sights on things that could go wrong (and that, not surprisingly) end up just as they planned.  One must envision success in order to taste success – must expect accomplishment in order to experience it.  A pessimist might share the definition of expectations and results with an optimist BUT the expected results are usually different so the outcomes are typically as different as night and day.

Successful individuals (and leaders) RECOGNIZE the things that could go wrong but do not dwell upon them as their efforts and energies are focused on what they EXPECT to happen (a positive result).  They often CONSIDER the potential pitfalls of the steps they may have to take in order to plan alternative courses of action but their focus is on what SHOULD be done if they are to reach their destination rather than what COULD HAPPEN to derail them on their journey to the prize.  

Great leaders couch their hopes and dreams in reality, however – one could hope to fly an airplane but will probably not realistically accomplish that without the proper training, practice and experience.  One could hope to lead others upon a path to success but will probably not be able to do so unless (or until) they are properly equipped with the skills and training needed to lead (rather than to order, direct or manage) others.  One could expect to earn a six figure income and be well prepared for retirement by the age of 50 but will probably not do so without training, a specialized skill and good planning.  Hopes and expectations are necessary if one is to succeed but we also must have REALISTIC hopes and expectations that align with our skills, abilities, experience, potential and desires. 

LOOK BEYOND WHAT YOU SEE TO REALIZE WHAT MAY BE…

First impressions influence our attitudes as we work with others – sometimes positively but far too often in a negative manner.  Until (and unless) we allow ourselves to view people with an open mind – seeking the value they could bring rather than limiting their contributions by pre-evaluating their abilities based on our initial thoughts and feelings – we will never be able to realize how much of an impact they might be able to make.  We must dig deeper when we work with others – continually seeking to identify the “method to their madness” as we deliberately limit the “madness our own methods” can sometimes create.  While being a good judge of character is a leadership strength, following ONLY the paths that our tunnel vision allows us to easily identify can create much distraction and confusion along our road to success.

Unfounded perceptions can negatively influence our thinking and our actions – potentially undermining another’s ability to contribute and the possibility of enhanced organizational success.  The owner of a small machine shop once stated that he “would like to have a whole shop full of employees like the 76-year old who had retired then come back to work.  He noted his perceived loyalty and leadership ability that was seemingly inspirational to other employees.  Employees revealed that they were always looking for other opportunities – not so much because they did not like the work but rather because they did not want to end up working until they died because they “could not afford to retire” like the 76-year old “role model” that still had to work.  The “individual in question” stated that he was aware of both the owner’s and his fellow worker’s thoughts but that the REAL reason he worked was that it gave him something to do on a regular basis AND that “if I ever met his wife I would know why he still came to work!”  Often our perceptions can taint our thinking – many times creating false perceptions or huge misconceptions.  When working with others we should ALWAYS take time to question, listen and learn before leaping to judgment.

  

When we act on available information (without first validating our position and/or asking for clarification) we often initiate disaster.  Many years ago, my wife and son were engaged in a heated discussion when I arrived home from work.  It seems that he had been sent to the principal’s office for “hitting a kid with leaves” on his very first day of kindergarten.  She could not understand why “throwing leaves at someone” was an offense worthy of a principal’s attention.  He could not understand why she kept asking him about the situation after he had clearly and concisely answered her question about hitting a fellow student with a bunch of leaves – agreeing that he should not have been punished for such a trivial infraction.  I looked at my tearful son and asked, “How big of a stick were the leaves attached to?”  Upon hearing the “right” question he brightened and made an inch wide circle with his fingers and said, “Oh, about this big – nobody asked me that!”  We often lose sight of where we are going because we are so focused on what we think we know as determined by where we have been, what we have heard and what we have experienced.  Never form an opinion without first thinking about all the things that COULD BE rather than simply focusing upon what we think IS or HAS TRANSPIRED.  Always take the next step to learn “the rest of the story” before committing to a course of action or changing what has always worked (and is still working) to something that has not been tested, tried or thought about.

In order to maximize our own potential (AND encourage others to reach theirs) we must recognize that others truly do matter in life.  We can lift each other up (or weigh each other down) depending on how we view the relationships we might be able to establish.  If we verify our perceptions before we pass judgment we can often avoid making assumptions that could lead us down the wrong path.  If we ask for help and opinions from others before acting on our own – particularly when they may have already “been there and done that” – our journey can become much easier (for we may not have to “reinvent the wheel” before rolling down the road).  If we truly seek what others can contribute and listen to their words when we see their mouths moving (rather than using their “talk time” as an opportunity to catch our breath before continuing to “have our way” or “impose our will” upon others) we may find support and affirmation coming from unexpected sources all around us. 

People tend to act and respond in the manner they are treated.  If we respect others and help them to elevate their ideas to the next level they will contribute in surprising ways.  If we assume that others are but pawns within the chessboard of life – foot soldiers whose only purpose is to “march into battle” as ordered without questioning the “why” of their actions or the “where” of their going – we will never come to appreciate the “hidden good” that others have within them – good that will bubble to the top making their NEXT employer or relationship great.  Look beyond the obvious to make sure you pay enough attention to what others say and do (and sometimes what they may NOT say or do because of fear or intimidation) that you can enjoy the difference their input makes in your life (AND you in theirs).

WHAT IS YOUR PERSONAL MISSION STATEMENT?

Every organization must have a mission – a vision – a reason for “being.”  Though a business can (and does) impact society by providing jobs, work is a necessary part of the process of producing results NOT the result of an organization’s efforts to create meaningful activity.  Work without purpose may keep an organization busy (for a time) but may not produce the income needed to sustain its activities unless it is fulfilling a need better than anyone else.  Without a mission, an organization cannot focus its resources towards the accomplishment of an identified purpose, choose the direction it should go or qualify the decisions it must make to be a vital and contributing part of the business community.

In order to be effective, an organization’s mission statement must clearly (and concisely) define why a business exists, what it does, and (sometimes) who it serves in a way that can be easily remembered and communicated.  Nike has established the phrase, "To bring inspiration and innovation to every athlete in the world" as its mission statement – implying what it does by who it serves (they have also become well established by the tag line “Do It” over the years).  "Our mission: to inspire and nurture the human spirit one person, one cup and one neighborhood at a time" is the stated purpose of Starbucks Company as it references the inspirational experience it hopes to provide consumers.  Coca Cola’s mission, “To refresh the world - in mind, body and spirit; To inspire moments of optimism - through our brands and actions; To create value and make a difference everywhere we engage” states what the company does (again focusing upon the inspirational) without ever saying what it produces.  Kohl’s mission, “To be the leading family-focused, value-oriented, specialty department store offering quality exclusive and national brand merchandise to the customer in an environment that is convenient, friendly and exciting” says what it is without limiting itself to any particular product or brand – but, even with such a broad statement of purpose it is finding that the battle against on-line competition is great.  While no two mission statements are the same, each successful enterprise must be able to state why it exists by communicating what is being provided in a way that people understand – whether it be the primary product, an emotional or inspirational reaction to the product or the change / difference that results from their being in existence.

We often accept that business needs a mission – a purpose and reason to exist – but fail to transfer that essential reality to our own lives.  In order to establish value in ourselves, everyone needs to establish a PERSONAL mission statement to guide their individual actions, efforts, activities and the way their values are expressed.  A personal mission statement is a bit different from a company mission statement, but the fundamental principles are the same – it should provide clarity and a sense of purpose (whether people see what is being done or not – as a Mission Statement should be internally self-guiding rather than externally validating).  It should define who you are and how you live – not necessarily what you may do (or not do) when others are watching. 

When we drift without purpose towards an unidentified objective we often take a long time to accomplish very little.  Though we cannot miss a target unless it has been clearly identified and posted, cannot fail unless we establish goals and objectives and will never be disappointed if we do not seek to be something more than we have already become, life without purpose (objectives and challenges) becomes meaningless.  A sailboat needs a sail (to capture the wind) and a rudder (to set a course) if it is to move forward.  It needs a keel to stabilize its journey and an anchor to hold it in place during times of rest.  Though there are many parts and pieces that work together to make a sailboat move ahead, unless a destination has been identified and deliberate action is taken to move towards it, the best wind, the most favorable seas and the mildest conditions will be wasted unless a “reason to sail” has been established.  A boat does not need sails, rudder or keel if it is content to float upon the sea – to simply bob upon the water – but it will never be more than a useless hull without a defined purpose and a planned destination.  Unless we (personally) know what we wish to accomplish through the actions we take and the decisions we make, we will never learn what we need to know (do or understand) in order to add value (to ourselves, our friends or our society) – becoming more of a burden to those around us rather than truly making a difference in this life.  We must dedicate our actions, our efforts and our thoughts towards the accomplishment of SOMETHING if we hope to accomplish ANYTHING – and must identify what that “something” might be if we hope to focus our efforts, abilities and aspirations upon its realization.  Drifting through life without purpose is like building a boat without balance, power or a way to steer its course – you can become a functional “barge” able to carry the load of another but cannot choose where to go, how to get there or how the burden you carry can be removed without the active assistance of others.

Writing a personal mission statement offers the opportunity to establish what is important to us, often allowing us to make a decision that will focus our thoughts and establish a course of action rather than wasting energy and resources without knowing where we might want to go or how we might want to make a difference.  As we establish a personal mission statement, we should seek to ask the right questions rather than trying to provide the correct answers – to expand our horizons to regions we have not yet explored rather than limiting them to our “known and comfortable” universe.  An individual mission may be as simple as “I will make a difference in all I say or do,” or “I will live everyday with Integrity and vow to make a positive difference in the lives of others by exercising my abilities for the good of all people.” It may a “short term” objective like, “I will complete my education so that I can pursue a new career.”  It may be as complex (and convoluted) as, “I will apply wisdom to advance myself (and others around me) while seeking and establishing new opportunities that add value to my community.  I will never give up (though I may occasionally give in) while seeking to bring to fruition all that I might hope or imagine myself to be.”

  

Make your dreams become reality by “memorializing” them in writing – by telling another about them so they can hold you accountable for their fulfillment – to establish a Personal Mission Statement.  While establishing your mission statement, make sure it connects your own unique purpose with the profound satisfaction that comes from that purpose being fulfilled (or you may lose interest in “moving on” when the going gets tough or “following through” when popular opinion is against you).  As for me, I would seek to contribute more than I take from life, to help more than I need assistance and to leave this world a better place (having seen and experienced its fullness) by leveraging the gifts I have been given to accomplish all that I have the ability to influence (and accept what I cannot).  Do not live another day (or take another breath) without establishing a purpose for your existence so that you can not only enjoy what you have accomplished but that you might also become all that you might be.

THE BASIS FOR EFFECTIVE LEADERSHIP

Great leaders tend to be humble individuals that do not take credit for things done well by others and often assume the blame for experiments that fail.  They tend to be self-effacing individuals who display a fierce resolve to do whatever is needed to get the job done right (and well) while channeling their ego needs from themselves to building their department (organization or company).  Strangely this description seems to go against the way that companies have traditionally chosen their managers – promoting the most competent, highly skilled achievers into positions that should allow others to emulate their competence and accomplishments (unfortunately often without any tools or training that might make this possible).

Ask most people who they feel are the true leaders of industry and you will probably hear names like Jack Welch, Donald Trump (at one time – perhaps not so much by not so many people now), the founders of Google, Amazon or McDonald’s - or some other outspoken champion of change.  While these individuals may be change agents, they may not be effective in the “long term” as they tend to initiate change or create new markets WITHOUT having the patience (or interest) in “seeing things through” to their logical conclusion.  They may not be as able to foster employee “buy in to change” as would a humble leader willing to lead others and pass on accountability (as well as responsibility) to others.  An effective sports leader once said that it “was not his responsibility to BE stressed but rather his duty to CREATE stress in others that would help them to grow.”  Perhaps it could be better put that respected leaders do not inflict pain but rather they bear the pain of others so that organizational gain can rise from the growth achieved by overcoming individual pain.  Perhaps greatness could be better measured by the magnitude and efficiency of change – the number of people involved as active participants in making the change happen and the impact of change on an organization’s bottom line – rather than simply from doing things differently or changing the “status quo” to make a mark on the world.

Humility is disciplined strength.  Humble leaders are quick to give credit and slow to accept praise.  While a leader must be competitive in order to grow an organization, the manager who takes all the credit will find him/herself without a team to enact change.  If two coaches were to take all the credit for their team’s success (and blame their losses on the team’s an inability to listen or learn), the “thrill of victory” and the “agony of defeat” would be reduced to words and claims spoken without action – to a debate (that would surely become a debacle) rather than an event worth watching.

Whenever we seek the cooperation of other people, whether from a position of authority or not, we should speak honestly and directly.  Communications should be plain, pointed and specific.  Facts should be stated, with any assumptions taken in arriving at the facts clearly explained.  After establishing one’s frame of reference, the conclusions derived from the facts should be detailed and discussion and/or dissension allowed in order to gain the support of others required to initiate action. The best communications are spoken (in simple and direct language that everyone understands) rather than written (within text messages) or relayed through intermediaries.  Respect is not purchased by cashing in an astounding vocabulary – it is earned by simply stating one’s position so that it can be clearly understood (discussed, enhanced and explained fully) prior to its being acted upon.  Leaders must recognize and understand that the right to be heard (and the expectation to be listened to) is never automatically given to anyone – and when assumed it does not (in and of itself) give us the right to be taken seriously.

Being positive is always more effective in the long run than being negative.  Being direct and honest, however, does not mean one is entitled to be demanding or degrading.  Had you worked on a project for several months only to have it “put on hold,” would you rather be told that you wasted your time and efforts or that they helped to keep the organization from making a serious mistake?  Being positive with others, even when putting something on hold or dismissing it, helps to maintain an individual’s dignity and establish their worth.  A leader’s integrity is not something that can be given to or “bestowed” upon another – it must be earned by the words spoken, the actions taken and the attitudes expressed every moment of every day.

People respect individuals having integrity.  Saying what you mean then doing what you say are two of the greatest attributes that a leader could possess.  Nobody is perfect – we are all human, and humans make mistakes.  The way we deal with those mistakes, however, will either insure our ascension within an organization or guarantee our fall. While leaders must provide a clear sense of direction for their organization, they must also be honest in accepting not only the credit for success but also the blame for failure.  An individual able to do so will have gained immense credibility within his or her organization – credibility that will translate exponentially into positive results.

While charismatic or forceful leaders may produce “quick fix” solutions with lower risks (cutting costs and making splashy, quick change usually saves money in the short term), organizations are probably better off to seek stability, long-term growth, and sustained success.  In today’s environment of corporate (leadership) distrust, perhaps more of us should learn how to balance ego with humility, put corporate and employee growth before our own, then reap the rewards of organizational success. 

Humility in management should be one goal we all strive to achieve.  Once achieved, there would be no greater way to recognize its assimilation than to honestly and selflessly thank those around us for making it happen!

The Not So Dirty Secrets Effective Leaders Tend to Keep

If you listen to the radio, search the internet or read a newspaper, every politician, local or civic leader, sports celebrity (and even many church leaders) seem to have expressed an unpopular opinion, have made a “politically incorrect” comment, behaved in an inappropriate manner or has kept some “dirty little secret” from the public (which, either accidentally or purposefully has “leaked” or become exposed to the public).  We are left with tarnished heroes, questionable leaders, shaky relationships and a plethora of “conspiracy theories” from which we must filter the accusations, investigate the claims and make our own value judgments.  

It seems we rarely are able to “judge a book by its cover” or “take someone at face value” anymore as “what we see is no longer what we get” from many individuals we once trusted.  Rather than “building others up” we seem to have an increasing number of individuals being given leadership roles who would prefer to bring others down (so they can look better or at least rationalize that they are not “so” bad).  It is an exception that individuals lift others up (rising to the top upon their accomplishments) – that they manage others using the same standards they might apply to themselves – rather than the “rule” it once was.  Though business does not typically examine its leaders with the same level of scrutiny we do our political candidates (nor do we apply the same standard to our personal relationships as we seek comfort in the current rather than challenging ourselves to change), many individual “secrets” kept will affect our effectiveness when given the opportunity to take action or make decisions in ANY leadership role we may assume.

To manage others (or effectively navigate through situations) we typically develop and communicate well-defined expectations identifying what must be done (sometimes HOW it must be done), when it must be accomplished, what rewards will be given (if success is achieved) and what might be the negative impact if “good intentions” and “supreme efforts” fail to produce acceptable results.  Effective leaders initiate processes (after ensuring that individuals expected to perform are qualified, trained and capable) by clearly stating what must be accomplished THEN getting out of the way so that work can be accomplished (while monitoring progress, helping to guide efforts and maintaining control of the time-frame, not the specific actions or activities).  Linking rewards to the level of performance demonstrated are invaluable components in the management of people. An effective leader allows others to exhibit their strengths, learn from their mistakes and grow by realizing their own capabilities.  While controlling and overbearing managers MAY accomplish what is expected in the time allotted, the “dirty little secret” that is often ignored is that they rarely build loyalty, create independent thinkers or help others grow.

Effective Leaders often operate more in the world of what could be possible rather than what is probable.  They tend to identify their successes and measure their accomplishments against a “fluid and flexible” set of values, standards and expectations.  A list of “secrets” managers should consider to ensure their success (AND that could be applied liberally to any personal situation or relationship to make it successful) would include:

• It is OK and natural not to like everything you must do to accomplish your job (or be successful within a personal relationship).  It is NOT OK to avoid, refuse to do, or ignore the parts you dislike (or to remain “painfully silent” within a martyrs role to keep from talking about an issue or concern).
•  It is OK to make a mistake AND to make a wrong decision as long as you learn from the error, can correct its negative ramifications and grow in the future.  It is NOT OK to keep making the same mistake or to expect to grow by taking the path of least resistance – the road well-traveled upon which everyone else goes – if you hope to achieve different results than everyone else experiences.
• One must ACT on the things that can be controlled while IDENTIFYING obstacles outside of your sphere of influence that might prevent you from achieving your objectives.  Once identified, either act to eliminate the hurdles OR actively seek the help of someone who DOES have the ability to overcome the inevitable so that you can move on to accomplish the improbable.
• Lying, cheating, or stealing is intolerable.  Great performers whose high results come through dishonesty or at someone else’s expense will be discredited and lose the respect of others.  Respect is a value that is sometimes difficult to earn and hard to define or assign but easily lost and almost impossible to restore.
• Effective leaders truly believe that there is nothing that “cannot be done.”  While some solutions MAY be cost-prohibitive, impractical, or beyond our ability to implement, “I can’t,” “It’s not possible,” or “don’t try it” are attitudes that are not part of successful conversations. 
• Well thought-out solutions that resolve issues encountered while doing your job are not reasons for celebration – rather they are expectations of the way you should continually exhibit and apply your abilities.  Achieving a milestone within a relationship should not be “the end” but rather simply a “new beginning.”  Effective leaders tend to be eternally optimistic – believing that while “Rome may not have been built in a day” it was definitely constructed through the work and efforts of many committed to accomplishing a seemingly impossible dream.

In order to be successful we must say what we mean, mean what we say, live as we would want

others to live, wear our values on our sleeves and BE all that we proclaim (or profess) to be.  When we live transparently (not perfectly) our secrets become revealed as the values we choose to live by and the standards we expect others to apply as they reach for their own stars (with a little help from their leadership friend).