EXPRESS INTEGRITY WHEN FACING (AND OVERCOMING) ADVERSITY

When faced with difficult decisions, we all must make choices that are well thought-out and that lead to a planned “end point.”  When given a choice, far too many individuals take the path of least resistance – one that might appear to be more popular – rather than taking “the high road” wherever it may lead.  Perhaps its time we focused on acting ethically and consistently in our dealings with others (rather than acting out of convenience or in our own best interest).  “Integrity” not an object we can seek nor a destination we can find, it is the keystone to all human interaction – a path to follow as we seek to find meaning and fulfillment in our everyday actions.  Integrity is the “high road” upon which we should travel as we build meaningful, trust-filled relationships.  We must demonstrate integrity if we are to lead others (rather than following them blindly) as we travel through life.  Without integrity we cannot achieve consistency.  A path worth following must be based upon facts that are tempered by personal values which can be expressed openly and honestly to others if we expect it to lead to a predictable (and desirable) destination.  Travelling upon such a path will prove fruitful regardless of the circumstances that influenced your initial decision to embark upon that trail.

“Ethics” has become but a word linked to a particular situation or set of circumstances.  Such a linkage would indicate that one’s values and beliefs change depending upon whom we are with or what the situation in which we find ourselves may be.  In life, our environment and those we are with DO change frequently, BUT our value system – our ethics – cannot drift upon the winds if we are to remain an anchor to those around us.  In order to be a contributing part of the solution rather than a significant part of the problem, our values must serve as a rock-solid set of principles to establish and guide proper conduct. This set of principles should ALWAYS influence our decisions and choices, outwardly determining our actions, if we are to express integrity and establish credibility.  Unless our exhibited actions are natural expressions gained through training, experience, and an application of closely held principles in real life situations, however, those depending upon us for guidance will lose confidence in our choices and fearful of our leadership decisions – often seeking other beacons to lead them from danger.

Making purposeful choices – charting a course and sticking with it as long as it leads towards the destination we have chosen – will help us establish respect.  In order to avoid being more “stubborn” than “purposeful,” however, we should be prepared to change our mind (and potentially change our direction) should the situation around us (OR the facts upon which our initial decision was based) be significantly altered.  In life, the only thing that is certain is change – not the direction of change nor the likelihood of controlling change, only the knowledge that change will (and does) happen so we must be prepared to manage it.  The key to making change purposeful is being able to assess the nature of change and act in a manner that embraces the possibilities it brings rather than closing out the opportunities it generates.

Why would one assume the responsibility and accountability for the results of making decisions at the risk of
highlighting their own individual frailty?  Leaders often find themselves placed in a position to make or break relationships, ensure the success of a venture or institution, or bring about the failure of a dream with every decision they make.  Good leaders typically thrive on “making a difference.”  All of us like taking the credit for things when they “go right.”  A good leader will quietly accept the praise for a job done well (often spreading it graciously over the efforts of a team) but will also willingly assume blame for things that went wrong (often individually, sheltering “the team” from outside criticism).  Such a leader will not accept a negative result as being a “final destination,” rather viewing it as but a resting point along the road to success – an obstacle that must be identified, addressed, and leveraged in a way that adds (rather than detracts) value.  Becoming a good leader requires us to praise loudly while blaming softly.  An individual cannot assume this responsibility when he or she consistently strives for the acceptance of others for such transparency clouds the intent of our thoughts and actions.

As we work together to coexist (and, perhaps even more significantly, to co-contribute to the expression and accomplishment of our dreams), we should focus upon our destination as we move steadfastly towards its accomplishment.  There is never a wrong time to make the right decision in life (NOR a decision that cannot be changed should the situation, facts or circumstances change) as long as we dare to be ourselves.  We must be unafraid to demonstrate the strength of our convictions as we face (and overcome) adversity, guided by our morale compass, if we hope to lead others to safety beyond life’s dangerous and rocky shores.

PROVIDING PATHWAYS

People face crossroads throughout their lives.  Some stressful situations are the result of unavoidable circumstances within our daily lives.  Most, however, are a result of our own individual failure to anticipate the potential ramifications of decisions we make (or choose not to make).  An idealist might ask how much stress can be avoided if timely and “correct” decisions that lead to a proper course of action are made BEFORE a difficult situation arises.  A realist would probably opt to consider how much stress is acceptable and what are the most likely avenues of escape when it becomes too much.  An optimist might look at stress as a proving ground – an opportunity to become stronger and prove one’s self-worth while moving towards a better place.  A pessimist might look at stress as a roadblock that makes the path impassable, causing one to turn around and seek the comfort of familiarity rather than forging ahead.  Some take accountability for their stress and share the success that might result from their efforts to move forward.  Others blame failure and complications on someone else while taking credit for gains and personally assuming any growth that might come from moving through difficult situations.

We all play a significant role in our own happiness (or sadness) yet can be major contributors to those same feelings in others depending upon the decisions we make and the directions we choose to take.  Dealing with people is an art.  In order to advance ourselves we must often provide others a “safe passage” so they can come along beside us as they actively contribute.  We should consider each situation we face – each decision we make – as an opportunity to find not only those parts of a solution that might be “partially true” but also what could be “potentially false.” As we provide a path for others to follow (which will hopefully allow them to become a “trailblazer” at some point in time), consider the following:

• Knowing what you want is half the battle.  Expressing what you want WITHOUT stifling creativity by saying how to do it is the other half.  The first question is a half truth – people should not be told exactly how to do things all the time – but they MUST be told what is expected if they are to achieve any fulfillment from their contributions and assisted along the way should they run into temporary obstacles or experience set-backs.
• All people bring a degree of experience and expertise to any situation.  They probably would not be in a position to offer their opinion if they were not at least marginally able to contribute to the resolution of an issue, concern or problem.  As soon as you think (and in some way express) that a question is “stupid,” you have lost all respect.  Not everyone knows the right answers (nor do many know the right questions!), so we should not expect people around us to act without some form of feedback or direction.  Allowing someone to run in whatever direction they choose might be good for their endurance BUT undirected effort and activity can create frustration, waste time and produce ineffective results.
• People are (and should be) expected to contribute to the resolution of a problem or the elimination of troubling situations by applying their individual skills and abilities.  They must also receive appropriate praise and effective correction – targeted towards improved performance – if we expect them to leverage their unique gifts as we develop and implement mutually beneficial solutions.
• Worrying about things or situations around us is a good thing.  Hiding reality from others is not so healthy. While people contributing to the resolution of a situation do not all need to know the same information, the DO need to know SOME information in order to act.  If we wish to be an island, expect to receive the limited rewards that a self-contained eco-system might provide.  When we want to receive all that is available to us – to benefit most from the efforts that a group can contribute – inform those around you what is going on, what will (or will not) work, what obstacles exist (and which are merely bumps in the road) and how they can help.  Letting others become involved is not a sign of weakness – it allows them to get involved in choosing the path to take so that there is “buy-in” to the path chosen – whether it is the “best path” (in our own opinion) or one that will (eventually) lead to the same destination.

Sometimes a “definite maybe” is the best way to work with those around us – expressing neither a strong directive nor an unarguable premise before asking for input and listening for a response from those around us. Provide a passageway by looking back while moving forward – by reaching out while holding back – by running ahead while encouraging others to follow – allowing us to move forward together.  Life does not stand still for anyone.  Allowing others to think their road is a straight and narrow passage to a known future as they travel upon a defined route does nothing to help them grow – it simply allows them to exist!  Providing passageways for them to consider as they move forward in life, however – being available as a resource should the need arise without becoming the only source of direction when the going gets tough – will help develop those around us into functioning contributors to our great society.

MOVING FORWARD REQUIRES LETTING GO

Why is it that when “all has been said and all has been done,” many continue to seek what more they might say and what else they can accomplish?  They seem unwilling to close the door – to move on once a decision has been made – continuously second guessing themselves to the point that “all that was said” becomes meaningless noise and “all that was done” loses its significance.  What may have been a great solution to a tough problem becomes a rest stop rather than a destination.  Rather than dousing the flames they smolder – ready to reignite as they devour our time like a fire feeding upon dry leaves in a forest.  Rather than being put to rest so their talents can be channeled towards the resolution of other issues – so that they can move on to climb other mountains – the steps they have taken and the accomplishments they have experienced become the goal rather than the springboard for future success.  When you feel that “all has been said,” quit speaking and start acting.  When you sense that “all has been done,” turn away from the closed doors so you can begin opening new ones.

It is never wrong to change your mind or shift direction IF the conditions or factors that led to your decision change.  It IS wrong to avoid making a decision or setting a course of action because you fear you may have to change your mind.  When we become paralyzed by our analysis of a situation – unable (or unwilling) to accept the validity of our thought processes once an issue has been identified and a resolution formulated – we establish insurmountable roadblocks that prevent us from moving or doing anything.  We become pawns

to the process rather than stewards of the solution.  We become bound by a need for absolute certainty, losing sight of the possibility that “a fix has been found” allowing us the freedom to consider new opportunities and challenges.  When we focus on finality rather than simply seeking closure, we stifle our ability to innovate.  We limit our ability to take calculated risks that may open new doors when we exerting all our energy nailing shut the doors behind us.  We must shift our vision forward if we wish to let go of the past so we can move ahead into the future – allowing ourselves the luxury of turning around to face forward rather than walking backwards towards an unseen cliff.

In order to thrive we must learn to innovate rather than finding comfort in what always was (because it may never again be)!  We must learn to think of alternatives (rather than simply “doing what is expected") if we wish to taste success.  We must apply our knowledge to new situations rather than memorizing answers to questions that have already been (or may never be) asked.  When all is said and done, our emphasis must be on recognizing accomplishment rather than rewarding effort – or people around us will continue to try proven solutions rather than accomplishing great things.

Everyone wants “change” but few take the time to define what “change” truly entails.  What lies ahead for us?  Is the light at the end of the tunnel one of Hope or is it one of unavoidable Disaster?   Listening to promises of change is never a bad thing in and of itself.  Such promises, however, should always identify what is being targeted AND what the alternative will be.  Seeking change just to alter the present is hollow unless we know – and are willing to accept – the alternative opportunities available when we decide to change (OR the consequences that will necessarily follow should we NOT change).

Before accepting the premise “all that could possibly be spoken has been said and all that could be accomplished has been done,” think about what might be possible (rather than dwelling upon those things that have  already been accepted as feasible or worrying about things that may not work).  Identify where you want to be – intentionally thinking about what must be changed (and what should be left the same) – before seeking the promise an unrealized future may hold (or worse, accepting only the reality of an already fulfilled past).  Embrace the opportunities that an uncertain future offers, moving deliberately forward in an effort to grow from them, rather than worrying about things you cannot control or obsessing over change that is going to happen regardless of what you may (or may not) do.

Individuals either embrace the opportunity of a new tomorrow by consciously (and intentionally) leaving

behind what is not working as they seek what might work OR they are swept up in someone else’s vision without thinking about its ramifications.  Do not fear change – fear only those things AND individuals that refuse to change as you seek to expand your present-day reality into a fresh new tomorrow.  Closing one door usually opens another – but it does not eliminate the opportunity to reopen the door should situations change.  All may never be said – and all may never be done – but we all should recognize and acknowledge “stopping points” from which we can move forward if we ever hope to hear what has yet to be said or experience what has not yet been accomplished.

RESOLVING TO CHANGE

The only certainty about change is that it will happen – regardless of what we do or say.  We can anticipate change – planning alternative reactions to the multitude of possibilities that might present themselves – but rarely can we predict with any degree of accuracy what we will be doing next year – or even tomorrow.  Change is far too elusive to be contained – its possibilities far too numerous to be compartmentalized within our finite minds.  In order to accomplish change we must act with purpose, refuse to accept the status quo – constantly identifying new possibilities through a process of screening or validating their potential benefit by measuring their rewards against the investment of time and effort required to bring them to fruition.

As we move from one year to the next, many make definitive resolutions of what they wish to change – proclaiming what will be different or what things in life they will leave behind – without ever taking the time to identify what must be changed BEFORE they move forward.  They often fail to realize their dreams because they do not identify and eliminate the behaviors that led to the need for change.  We cannot expect to see different results until we start doing things, thinking about our capabilities or reacting differently to the stimuli around us.  Change is as much about identifying where we want to MOVE FROM as it is about looking towards where we wish to be.  We need to establish goals and objectives in order to begin a journey towards change – but to accomplish change we must intentionally decide to move away from our past without becoming comfortable OR fearful within the “present” we find if we wish to embrace all the future might hold.

We must come to grips with who we are and what we do well if we seek lasting change.  We must embrace

our positive attributes while alienating the negative – and accept that where we wish to be IS an extension of where we are rather than a foreign soil or a different planet.  Change most often succeeds when it is gradual – when it builds from our strengths while minimizing our weaknesses – rather than proclaiming that things will be different without planning, preparation or self-awareness.  We can initiate and maintain change that builds upon what we do well – that does not require a complete transformation of who we are or what we portray ourselves to be.  It is relatively easy to change when we can alter a negative behavior or isolate a wandering thought to receive a greater reward than we would have had if we remained tied to what we did or where we were.  Self-directed change can be accomplished when the initiator of change is able to monitor progress, see results and continue to move forward because the positive benefits gained are greater than those received had change NOT been initiated.  Typically, resolutions that result in visible physical or behavioral change that others notice and comment upon passively feed one’s desire to maintain their change.  When obvious “positives” come from minor behavioral changes or altered choices, resolutions are often at least partially (if not fully) realized.

Other resolutions, however, while initiated through internal desires (one must WANT to change before change can occur) may need external oversight to keep the train on the track and moving in the right direction.  It is almost impossible to “resolve” to be something different or “wake up” as someone other than who we have always been without some kind of outside accountability.  Far too often when we make a personal commitment to alter our behavior we compromise our internal standards when “the going gets tough” by allowing ourselves to “stop going.”  We accept a level of “sameness” when we measure our results and answer only to ourselves.  While short-term change can be dictated, lasting change occurs ONLY when we internally formulate the “what”, fully realize the “why,” understand the “how” and are fully committed to the “what will be.”  Relying upon a trusted friend, partner or co-worker to discuss the distractions while holding us accountable to push forward will help us make significant and lasting change.  We must declare these resolutions publicly (even if the “public” to whom we declare them is but one or two) rather than keeping them secret IF we truly want help in our accomplishing transformational change.

As the New Year approaches, take the time to start fresh BUT hold on to those things that you do well –

that move you forward – rather than resolving to be drastically different.  Change is good – but sometimes choosing NOT to change can be just as rewarding.  Do not, however, accept mediocrity as a standard or find comfort in complacency.  When you resolve to change, do whatever it takes (internally OR with an external accountability partner) to initiate, monitor and maintain the change.  Resolve to make this year one of successful resolution so that you might be able to accomplish revolution in your life!

CREATING (OR ALLOWING) BEHAVIORAL CHANGE

There are three ways we can try to change another’s behavior.  We can order someone to change, enforcing the altered behavior with penalties or threats (coercion).  We can provide a reward or some other external recognition that is of value to them should they change (motivation).  We can provide a path that will make them a better person or allow them to be something different than they are (inspiration).  Whether in a business or personal relationship – or any role in which we find ourselves interacting with another in order to accomplish a single objective – positive and meaningful change results from an intentional action (even if one intentionally decides not to act) rather than an accidental happenstance.

Supervisors often coerce individuals to change.  They issue orders, give directions and tell people what to do (and often how to do it).  Theirs can often be a world having few opportunities for independent action so they provide even fewer chances for people they supervise to act independently.  While supervision IS (thankfully) changing, many individuals leading work that can be accomplished without much training or preparation spend much of their time assigning work, reviewing processes and measuring results, leaving little time to invest on motivating or influencing altered behavior.  Rather than asking or laying the groundwork for

change, they direct and monitor activities so they can achieve.  We negate individuality when coercing change as responses become defined and expected rather than encouraged and supported.  In personal relationships, individuals who coerce others often tear them down to build themselves up – focus on “what went wrong” rather than celebrating “what went well.”  Coercive individuals tend to get what they want but may get ONLY what they want – and often find that their gains are short term and of limited value.  They find that telling may produce quick results but rarely does it produce the best result imaginable.

Managers often motivate individuals to change.  They identify alternatives, provide choices and give people reasons that make them want to alter their behavior.  Motivation to change can be as minimal as providing a tangible reward to induce action.  When combined with punishment for not changing, motivation can be a powerful means of producing results.  The problem with motivation, however, is that an external force must initiate the change.  In a working relationship, a manager often identifies what is best for the organization, the employee and him or her self then initiates action by spelling out what will happen if change does not occur (coercion) but also what will happen should favorable change occur (motivating the alteration).  As long as a manager is present to identify a suspect behavior and provide reason to change, good things will happen. Rarely, however, will an employee used to constant motivation see the need to change unless they continue to receive external impetus.  In a relationship, individuals who motivate often do so by first “breaking down” another (coercion) but then provide a reason that change would be beneficial (often benefiting the motivator as much if not more than the motivated).  Much can be accomplished when individuals are motivated to change – the problem with motivation, however, is that an object at rest (or an individual whom is content to do what he or she is doing) tends to remain at rest (or doing what has proven to be comfortable).  Until one is convinced that they must change their behavior if they are to receive different results, they will not experience growth.

Leaders inspire others to change.  Rather than telling people what must be done they show individuals a better way.  Rather than dwelling upon an individual’s negative behavior they reward positive efforts.  Leaders paint a picture of “what if” or “what could be” rather than one of “what is” or “what will always be.”  A leader makes people want to change in order to achieve something they wish to have, accomplish or become.  Inspirational change goes beyond telling (coercion) and past selling (motivation) – it leads another towards self-actualization.  Inspiration causes people to see why changes should take place, creating an internal desire to abandon who they are to become what awaits them.  Inspirational change is often caused by one’s desire to “be like” another or to achieve what someone else has accomplished – to make oneself (or another) proud of their actions.  In a personal relationship, inspirational leadership makes another want to join in (rather than follow) and to share the "road less traveled" (rather than taking the quickest, fastest route to nowhere).  Rarely will inspirational leaders tell another what must be done or how to do it – they allow their actions to speak louder than their words.  When we look to be that which has not yet been identified we initiate lasting change – which becomes the platform for continued growth.

Whether you choose to coerce, motivate or inspire change, recognize that an individual must see a reason to change before they will abandon their ways to pursue a new horizon.  We cannot CREATE change within an individual – we are only able to initiate it.  We cannot FORCE change within an individual – we are only able to guide it.  We cannot make another do that which they choose not to – we can only provide positive reasons to act AND identify negative consequences should they choose not to act.

THE POWER OF ASSUMING SUCCESS (RATHER THAN ACCEPTING DEFEAT)...

Why are some people invigorated by a seemingly insurmountable task while others seem paralyzed by the same situation?   Some see the opportunity to make progress towards the completion of a project while others shut down unless they see an immediate conclusion well within their reach.   Other than the obvious propensity towards taking risks, there is one underlying characteristic differentiating the two attitudes – the ability to question “why not?” before acting rather than needing to understand “why” before formulating a plan and moving forward.

Everyone comes to a fork in the road – a decision point that forever changes what they have done, redirecting all efforts and activities towards the accomplishment of what they have yet to become.  Many attempt to “define” this moment through resolutions to change but find that shifting directions is a process rather than an event.  We cannot “will” ourselves to eliminate years of bad habits in one moment – it takes time to undo what we often do to ourselves.  “If only…” will never define “what is…”  When we trap ourselves within the world of excuses by asking what might have happened “if only” we had acted differently, we lose sight of reality.  Dwelling upon things NOT accomplished will never initiate change – it only reinforces your limitations (rather than celebrating your abilities).  

Some individuals act in accordance with established policy, practice or procedure whether or not that may be the best way to do something.  Others constantly question what they are asked to do as a means to test and temper the validity of an action prior to its being taken.  What good does it do to advance an idea unless it makes a difference?  One will never experience their full potential by seeking comfort within a world defined by other’s expectations.  Life is not a spectator sport – it requires careful consideration, intelligent planning and intentional action.  Most successful individuals establish basic tenants for their life – rules they use to hold themselves accountable for their own actions.  While everyone lives by some set of values and ethics, some of the rules that provide the “highest return on investment” would include the following:

•  It is OK to make a mistake BUT do not repeat the same mistake.  It is OK to make a wrong
  
  decision – any well-thought out decision is better than no decision.  Learn from your errors, using them as a springboard to propel you forward.   People will usually work with you as long as you continue to show measurable progress or growth.  
• Focus on things you can control.  Identify obstacles that are within your sphere of influence and actively seek to eliminate whatever hurdles you can by giving them up to someone who has the ability to influence them.  Likewise, seek to find the factors you cannot influence or control and give them up immediately.  
• Lying, cheating, or stealing is intolerable.  If you are the best performer or individual with the highest results…but those results came through dishonesty or at someone else’s expense…you will not be respected, credible NOR working (or participating in an ongoing relationship) for very long.
• Results are recognized – effort is merely a means to the end.  Seek not praise for working hard or contributing greatly – let recognition come your way through the results your effort achieved.  Do not begin your new year THINKING about change – take intentional actions to initiate change. 
• All individuals may speak, question, and have a voice in any decision but that does not mean all votes are equal.  Life is not a democracy.  Input is valued but an individual responsible for the ultimate success of any endeavor must – and will - make the final decision.  Do not confuse “equal” with “equitable” as you seek to identify and establish new points from which you can leap forward during the coming year.  
• There is nothing that “cannot be done.”  While some solutions may not be cost-effective, or are simply impractical or beyond our ability to implement, “I can’t,” “It’s not possible,” and other self-condemning attitudes are not acceptable.  Well thought-out solutions to issues you may encounter while doing your job (or during life in general) are not reasons for celebration, they are simply expectations of the way you should continually exhibit and utilize your abilities.

As the curtains of time fall on another year, focus upon the things you have experienced rather than the things that “COULD have been accomplished IF ONLY you had not run out of time.”  Somehow, building from a foundation of “what is” seems much more relevant to life than hiding behind “What could have been.” Seeking “what has yet to happen” provides a much better foundation upon which to build than does “Why try?"  The sands of time can either flow unobstructed to their logical end OR they can break out of their paradigm to become something never before imagined.

WHEN “EVERYBODY DOES IT,” WHERE DOES EVERYONE GO AND WHAT DOES EVERYONE ACCOMPLISH?

Have you ever met someone who sets a course in life based on how many others are doing the same thing? Rather than identifying problems, investigating their root cause and acting to resolve them they tend to take the path of least resistance and “go where others are going.” They often highlight the “wrongs” of others so
their questionable actions seem much more “right.”

The travesty in life is that far too many people diminish their potential by following the crowd.  They do what is popular rather than standing strong on their own values, judgments and decisions.  They choose acceptance by the majority rather than the criticism that standing alone often brings.  They accept the stagnation of “what is” rather that seeking the opportunities of “what could be.”  Their mantra might be “I am no different than anyone else” rather than “I am a unique individual whose potential is limited only by my own actions and behaviors.”

Following the crowd is easy – you do what others accept (and often what they expect), go where others are going, act as others act to blend in to their fabricated sense of community.  Only when one recognizes and acknowledges that much can come from seeking a different reality than that chosen by the crowd will he or she begin to realize that loss can become gain, failure can breed success, and the decision to stop can either be an end to an unfortunate set of circumstances OR the impetus to move forward.  It seems that each end is but a beginning, and every beginning concludes an end.  Followers of a crowd tend to accept the group’s vision as a final destination.

Those destined to be leaders gain confidence through training, affirmation, confirmation and acceptance by others whom they respect.  They seek strong mentoring from successful individuals.  They see the future as something not yet clearly defined – recognizing that as it is clarified and accomplished it will fade into the past, leaving room for more growth and continuous forward progress..

Had Fulton listened to “common wisdom” would he ever have invented the steam engine?  Would the Wright brothers have launched their dreams into the air had “the crowd” determined the way?  Is our nation stronger and more stable because our leaders make decisions based on polls that measure what the majority think they should do – taking the more acceptable route – rather than seeking potentially unpopular counsel?  Might we be in a better place if our leaders simply acted to bring the promises made to the people that elected them to fruition?

What might YOU be able to accomplish – what potential might you be able to realize – if you “marched to your own drummer” rather than listening to the tunes sung by others?  Make the most of your individuality in whatever you may say or do.  While many people try to be something or someone they wished they were or would like to become, there is only one you in the world.

As the “old year” winds down and the curtain is drawn on a new act, resolve to be yourself in whatever you
say and do – to seek your own answers to life’s complications rather than living as someone else might wish.  Claim your “wins” and admit to your failures – accepting (and sharing, when appropriate) the credit for things done “right” while assuming responsibility for mistakes (and resolving any hardships they may have caused) as you move towards the discovery of new opportunities.  When we misrepresent facts or exaggerate the truth we often find ourselves tangled within an inescapable web formed from our initial deceit (white lie or misrepresentation).  Rather than “living larger than life” during 2014, accept the life you were given and build upon it.  Leverage your strengths and identify any areas that might need to be improved.  Once identified, act to initiate necessary change so you can move forward.

Take a stand this coming year to do what is right REGARDLESS of the personal ramifications or pain that might result.  Remember that the hardest lie to live is one you have internalized as truth – particularly if those around you believe similarly.  Being true to yourself is one of the most noble and admirable decisions you can make – surpassed only by your being true to those around you.