TO WHAT WILL YOU AWAKEN?

Everyone comes to a fork in the road – a place in life where they say, “no more” yet truly seek “no less.”  When we finally realize that life cannot continue at the insane pace we tend to pursue – that running towards a goal is far more important than running from a place we wish to abandon – we begin to understand that what motivates us to move can make a huge difference in where we may end up and when we may arrive…that allowing fear and emotion to drive our decisions may not produce the best results.  We eventually (and inevitably) run into a wall when our dreams for the future are overshadowed by our memories of the past…when looking behind us in the rearview mirror keeps us from realizing the opportunities that might be in front of us, locking us firmly into a “present” that is not growing, fulfilling or likely to change.

Some might say that we too often senselessly hold on to what we have (particularly that which does not contribute to our own or other’s growth) by over-valuing what has been (using our past accomplishments as shelters and destinations rather than foundations and springboards). Perhaps we should invest more in seeking what has not yet been revealed as we move forward towards what we want to accomplish and where we wish to go. When you quiet your soul and vanquish your fears – calm your apprehensions and begin to recognize that the light at the end of the tunnel into which you have entered may not be a train coming at you but rather a beacon leading you towards a dream that has yet to be realized – you enter into a new world of possibilities that sees life through a lens of “what could be” as an achievable alternative to seeking no more than “what has always been.”

We all awaken (eventually) to realize that our hoping for someone to give us something we do not have must stop – that we can no longer wait for change to “just happen,” others to “show us the way” towards being different, or that happiness, safety, and security will be waiting for us to discover without any effort or planning on our part. We must consciously and intentionally act to initiate change by leveraging our own abilities, experiences, and knowledge – accept the reality that we all have strengths, weaknesses, beauty, and warts. Nobody can (without intentional thoughts and actions) live like “Prince Charming” or “Cinderella” waiting to be provided a happiness in which they might live happily ever after by simply being in the right place at the right time (or kissing a frog). We must realize that life cannot be a fairy tale unless (and until) we recognize that peace and serenity is born through an acknowledgement (but not the acceptance) of our own inadequacies and an acceptance of the imperfections of others. Once we awaken to realize that life is a fluid state of flux rather than a static state of entitlement, we can cast aside the chains that hold us back as we reach out to grasp the lifelines that will pull us forward.

We view ourselves (and the world around us) through a filter born of the messages and opinions ingrained in us throughout our childhood then reinforced by the successes or failures – the acceptances or rejections – we have experienced throughout adulthood. Only when we begin to sift through the “junk” we have been fed about how to behave, what to wear, how to act and what to value – to determine what is real and important to us rather than reaching towards what was expected to be valued and significant for us by others – will we learn to open ourselves up to new worlds and different opportunities.  We cannot begin to reassess and redefine who we are and what we really stand for until we recognize that our individuality is shaped by our external influences and our internal desires – and how we allow each to impact the other. We must come to own what we can initiate (control and enact) and accept what we cannot change (alter or eliminate) before we can move forward to claim a life that is different from any we may have already experienced (or even possibly imagined).

As we awaken to the possibilities of a new and altered life, we begin to learn the difference between wanting and needing – discarding the doctrines and values we have outgrown or should never accepted to begin with as we follow our hearts, instincts, and consciences. We learn that it is truly in giving that we receive – that we can discover fulfillment and accomplishment through creating and contributing – but ONLY if we stop maneuvering through life as a consumer long enough to recognize that creation and consumption are distinctly different paths leading towards opposing and conflicting objectives. We must learn the differences between guilt and responsibility to thrive. We must learn the importance of setting boundaries and knowing when to say “no” rather than always saying “yes” (for when we extend ourselves beyond what we are capable of doing – even if it is intended to relieve the pressure on those around us – we may actually stifle the growth of others while reducing our own ability to initiate or master new things).

In the depths of our confusion when we find ourselves at an inexplicable fork in the road, we come to realize that, for the most part, we get from life what we believe we deserve (whether that be good or bad) and that much of life is a self-fulfilling prophecy. In order to achieve success, we need to believe that success is probable (or at least possible). We must recognize that anything worth achieving is worth working for – and that wishing for something to happen is far different than working to make it happen. In order to initiate change we need to identify a destination, establish a direction we will travel, then exhibit discipline and perseverance to stay on track. Before embarking upon a journey of change it is important that we recognize nobody can do everything alone, that it is OK to ask for help (and not a weakness of shortcoming to accept it) as we move forward towards a different reality.

When one feels that an impossibly large load has been dumped in front of them – that there is no reasonable or realistic way to get around the obstacle in front of us – we may come to realize life is not always “fair.”  We do not always get what we think we deserve – and sometimes bad things truly do happen to good people. We must learn to fight for what we want in life, however, rather than living under a cloud of impending doom if we hope to understand that fear of failure is not the only impediment to our growth – that a fear of success (and the unknown that accompanies it) may be an equally binding tie that holds us back OR launches us forward as we seek paths that will keep us moving towards what we could become.

We all awaken to a new dawn each day we rise. Far too many individuals are content to wake each morning and do what they have always done (with whom they have always done it) then go to sleep at night without accomplishing anything new or becoming anything different – not out of choice but rather out of obligation. If we are to make the most of the days we are given, we must learn from our failures rather than allowing our hopes to be buried by them. We must face life with and attitude of “Why Not?” rather than wallowing in one of “Why Me?” Those that awaken to what could be often seek the path leading towards “what might be possible” rather than settling for “what is and will never change.”  When we live our lives “as they could be” rather than being content to find comfort in “what they are” we will find ourselves awakened to a world of possibilities. 

WORDS ATTRACT ATTENTION – ACTIONS INITIATE RESULTS

While words and promises can be compelling, the true measure of a person is not what is said but rather what is done. Following a leader’s actions is much easier than believing promises – especially if what is said changes like the ever-shifting winds. Though a zebra may think itself a horse it cannot lose its stripes. A child’s storybook once portrayed a porcupine that thought himself to be “fluffy” rather than “prickly,” but his actions spoke louder than his words. We have often been told that “if we can dream it, we can do it,” but until we take intentional action to move from where we are to where we wish to be, nothing changes from what it is to what it could become. In order to lead effectively we must let go of the misconception that people will listen to what we say (and ask) without regard to what we do (or expect to be done) to accomplish what we want (without appropriate explanation) as we seek different results (without leading by example).

How can we expect our employees to adhere to an “eight to five” schedule if our day frequently begins at eight fifteen or ends at four thirty – with errands extending lunch and personal phone calls, internet inquiries or text messaging disrupting us from fulfilling our responsibilities? (Forget about the fact that you might have been doing company business the previous night, or that lunch was really an important business meeting or that breaks are not part of the daily routine…people SEE you coming in late or leaving early, your actions screaming far more loudly than the whispers of reality.)  Parents tell their children to obey the rules (as they break the speed limit driving them somewhere), to respect their teachers (as they complain about the “boss that does not know anything”), and to take time to enjoy life (when they are “too busy doing their own thing” to play catch in the yard or ask how a child’s day went).  Many sales organizations make unrealistic promises to customers (in order to “close the sale”) that must be kept by employees working long hours (evenings, weekends, and Holidays) while the people making the promise spend time with their family. While this “customer service” reality may be hard to avoid, repeated abuse of the time of others while no apparent “self-sacrifice” is perceived by those putting in the time will minimize the credibility of the “abuser” and create hard feelings within an organization.

We are not perfect and must learn to lead effectively by acting in a consistent and predictable manner (NOT necessarily doing the same thing in the same way all the time but rather by thinking in a logical manner that recognizes and considers the factors influencing success before acting in a way that those being led can understand). If we wish to be who we truly are rather than presenting ourselves as what we wish we could be, it would be wise to remember: 

1)                  Words are but whispers when compared to the shouts of our actions. People more often believe what they see than what they hear. Those around you establish their perception of you by what you do – by how you act – not by the things you say, ask or request. We may try to reinvent ourselves with eloquent words, but we are truly only what our actions establish us to be in the eyes of others. If a picture is worth a thousand words, how many volumes would a day’s worth of our actions (be they good or bad, consistent, or random) write upon the pages of the lives of those with whom we interact on a regular basis fill?

2)                  It is better to compromise than to criticize – to live in the house you have built through your actions than in the rubble of another’s house you destroyed with your words. Criticism is destructive. Competent leaders do not tear others down to make themselves look good…they build others up to make ALL improve. One cannot lead by pushing from behind – leadership leverages the abilities of all to move the group into a singular direction that benefits the whole – to raise the abilities of all so that the team can achieve an ever-increasing level of competence – pulling others along with them as they rise to the top rather than dragging them down so the “top” is not so far away.

3)                  Look inwardly when assigning blame. People often defend their inappropriate actions by shifting blame to others. Rarely does an individual come out and say, “It was my fault.”  Far more often it is, “Sam over there did something much worse than I would ever do. Address him before you talk to me.”  When we measure ourselves against the actions of others, we will never truly see value in what we may have done (nor the full impact that our mistakes may have initiated) – we see only the relative value of how our actions compare to another’s (concluding that “better than another” is “good enough” rather than striving to be the best).  Far too many politicians blame all failures on their predecessors while claiming all success as being their own –deflecting and deferring rather than speaking boldly and acting with confidence (assuming both the credit for decisions “gone right” and the blame for actions that failed).

4)                  Judge yourself using the same standards you apply to others. The greatest leaders of our times would never ask others to do what they would not do themselves. Great generals lead their troops into battle rather than following them from behind. Parents must “walk the talk” for their children. Managers cannot expect full productivity without giving it themselves. Anyone in a meaningful and sustainable relationship must share equally and contribute proportionately to a mutually beneficial outcome (rather than expecting another to be you or do things exactly as you would do them).

Effective leaders seek truth rather than distributing consequences. They focus more on what they are doing than on what others may not be doing – leading by example rather than by edict. They seek and provide “treats” much more frequently than they do “tricks.” In order to lead effectively, we must recognize that nothing we say will overcome the things others see us do – that our actions are the clanging symbols of a band while our words are the whispering flutes…often lost within the collective but vital and necessary as part of an overall masterpiece. Were we to live each day as if we lived in a glass house having no shades or blinds to mask our actions, would our words reinforce our reality or would our reality fade to but a reflection of our words? Only when we can accept the results that come from others doing what they see us do rather than performing as we tell them to act will we become leaders within our work, our personal lives, and the reality of those around us.

REFLECTIONS ABOUT GREAT LEADERS

Leaders inspire others to change. Rather than telling another what must be done (or what has been done wrong) they show individuals a better way. Rather than dwelling upon an individual’s negative behavior and their shortcomings they acknowledge positive efforts and reward positive results. A leader paints a picture of “what if” or “what could be” rather than “what is” or “what always will be,” making sure that stakeholders within the process are included in the “painting” as easily recognized key contributors. We cannot make an individual do what they choose not to do but we CAN provide positive reinforcement and identify potential negative consequences should they choose NOT to act appropriately. Leadership IS NOT an attribute isolated to your work environment…it is a characteristic that should indwell us in all of our relationships and interactions if we are to become all that we can be WHILE making those around us grow to their full potential as well.

Leaders typically demonstrate the ability to influence by example to gain the support of others that choose to follow them RATHER THAN forcing them to follow a lead they do not believe in or trust. Successful leaders put more effort into selling than they do telling – into securing “buy-in” and sharing ownership than they do in making excuses or assigning blame – recognizing that people contribute more if they WANT to do something than if they HAVE to do it. They anticipate “what might be possible” and prepare to advance that objective rather than reacting to “what did happen” and blaming others to avoid accepting the consequences. Gaining respect and credibility in the eyes of those being led is far better than trying to be a friend of those being managed or protecting them from tasting defeat. Asking “what part of this (situation, crisis, shortcoming, failure, or damaged relationship)” did I cause (before pointing out what the other party may or may not have done), accepting and admitting it, then taking proactive steps to keep it from happening again goes a long way to building a leader’s support and long-term credibility.

Leaders remain true to their values – transferring the skills and aptitudes they have learned onto others by saying what they believe and doing what they know to be right. Great leaders tend to display a fierce resolve to do whatever is needed in order to accomplish their stated objectives without really caring who gets the credit for the work AS LONG AS the anticipated results are accomplished. Saying what you mean – then doing what you say – are the two greatest attributes that a leader can exhibit. In a working environment those two simple actions create credibility and confidence…in a personal relationship they create trust and solidarity.

Exceptional leaders (within a work or a personal setting) recognize that their actions speak far more loudly than do their words. They look for the good in others, loudly praising their positive actions, interactions, and attributes (publicly when appropriate) while quietly addressing their shortcomings (privately and behind the scenes). Though negative behavior needs to be addressed, they make an effort to acknowledge and verbalize appreciation for things done well. Words describe what one wishes to accomplish but actions lead to the results that define success. An individual blessed with the gift of communication can paint a picture with the words he or she speaks. An individual blessed with the gift of accomplishment can achieve great things with or without the help of others. The rare individual possessing both gifts can accomplish things not yet imagined by engaging the abilities of others to raise both the floor (elevating those things once seen as unlikely to be accomplished) and rip off the ceiling (allowing them to grasp for the things that were considered to be out of their reach).

When all is said and all is done, our emphasis MUST be on recognizing accomplishment rather than rewarding effort OR people will continue to try tested and proven ways of doing things rather than attempting the unconsidered to achieve the unimaginable. While all individuals SHOULD be able to play on a team – to share in the rewards of a group’s efforts and work together to accomplish more than any one individual could have done on their own – every team needs a leader to monitor its activities, measure its efforts and acknowledge its accomplishments or the “wins” will become insignificant events while the “tries” will become praiseworthy. A leader identifies the issues, points out the challenges, equips the team (or partner) with the resources and abilities to perform then gets out of the way and observes from a distance…monitoring progress and helping to avoid pitfalls…but does not “protect” someone from learning through faltering or prevent them from finding a different path to a defined objective.

There is no limit to what can be achieved when one seeks results rather than recognition – when the goal becomes to accomplish our objective rather than making sure that we receive what we believe to be the appropriate credit for our individual (or our team’s) efforts. While doing things “as they have always been done” will often result in an “acceptable” result, is it not better to strive for excellence (rather than to thrive on mediocrity) and to push the boundaries out towards the unexplored horizon (rather than living comfortably within defined silos and contained fields)?

Before we can move from “what we have” to “what we hope for” we must realize that one journey must end before another can begin – that we must free ourselves from the constraints (and restrictions) that hold us back before we can wrestle with new opportunities. We must acknowledge that, before taking a new path to an unknown destination, we must abandon the old and familiar roads that have taken us safely to places in which we have found comfort. All change begins with the deliberate consideration of an intentional action that, if initiated, will forever alter where we are as it redefines where we are going. Without a goal – an aspiration to accomplish that which has not yet been achieved and to imagine that which has yet to be considered – and a way to measure progress towards its accomplishment, one will never know how far they have come nor how far they have yet to travel. The secret to being all that you can be is in setting realistic goals that stretch your reality from what it is to what it has not yet been accomplished. How can one move forward if they do not know when to begin their journey NOR where to cease their wandering?

In order to MAKE a difference in life we must be willing to BE different. We cannot remain “one of the crowd” doing things the same way that have always been done if we expect change to occur. We all choose which path we wish to travel – neither path being totally “right” or completely “wrong.”  We all live with our choices – holding fast to the possibilities (or the probabilities) that our actions dictate or choosing to pursue the unknown. Whether you are a seeker or a planter – a dreamer or a doer – you will receive back in direct proportion to what you have invested in – limited ONLY by your own acceptance of (or refusal to accept) reality.

Before we seek safe passage, we must first dream – for without dreams we cannot establish goals and targets that have not yet been considered so that we might be able to achieve that which has not yet been discovered. Before we determine which path we will follow we must immerse ourselves in all things that could be possible rather than seeking only those things of which we can be assured. Allow each pathway you take provide safe passage to the fulfillment of your dreams – never giving in or giving up no matter what obstacle may block your way. Seek greatness (rather than settling for adequacy). Reach for the stars (rather than being content to bump against the ceiling). Live within your potential (rather than limiting your success to those things that have previously been achieved or engaging only in the things you know how to do). Great leaders do not measure success by how many times they have tried nor even how much they have accomplished but rather by what they learned each time they stumbled – by the number of times they picked themselves up after being knocked down – as they positively influence the lives of those around them while persevering to do the things once thought to be beyond their reach (but never outside of their imagination).

BE A BEACON...

Today’s world is fraught with danger – a place where “not knowing” is an excuse rather than a valid justification. You can search on the computer, listen to the radio, or watch television and (depending upon which channel or version you happen to see or hear) find a treasure trove of information, representations and (sometimes) biased opinions about the same story (which never seem to coincide with the “truth” told by another outlet). There is no scarcity of news or information but there seems to be a void (at times) in terms of a credible resource that will RESEARCH the news-worthy situation, ANALYZE the story behind what happened then REPORT INFORMATION in a way that will allow a reader or listener to understand what is happening (rather than simply believing what they are being told). Too often individuals entrusted to report today’s events fabricate or embellish stories rather than simply stating facts as they seek to advance or validate their own opinion rather than allowing others to make their own decisions based upon the reported truth. Shining the light of self-serving opinion IS NOT the kind of beacon that individuals need to keep them from crashing upon a rocky shore during times of turmoil – it is a false security that will often lead to tragedy after leading another into the darkness. 

The many challenges provided by today’s global economy are not unprecedented threats to our sustainability. If you have never read Any Rand’s classic novel Atlas Shrugged, a small investment of your valuable time could reap invaluable rewards. In an uncanny foretelling of our times, Rand points out that “Government ‘help’ to business is just as disastrous as government persecution. The only way a government can be of service to business is by keeping its hands off.” How true in a time of fiscal cliffs, automatic budget cuts and increased taxation intended to redistribute wealth or create equality (rather than equity) in our society. Helping another find their way IS NOT finding it for them and leading them to a destination of your choosing. It IS assisting them as they identify the problem which can be addressed through their own intentional actions while serving as a guide to get them through unfamiliar territory along the way. 

Rather than seeing a storm as a possibility to shine, many view turbulence and tempests as being limitations placed upon their future. To this Ayn states, “Live and act within the limit of your knowledge and keep expanding it throughout the limit of your life. If one does not know, do not get scared – learn.” As you plan, respond, and anticipate, remember that what you know (and how you apply that knowledge to any specific situation) is the major obstacle most face when reaching towards their future. It is not a lack of ability, of trying or of “good intentions” but a lack of commitment and drive that prevents an individual from succeeding…a lack of trust (in their own abilities OR in the help offered by others) that keeps them from trying. 

Elsewhere Rand states, “Do you know the hallmark of a second rater? It is resentment of another’s achievement. They envy achievement and their dream of greatness is a world where all have become like their acknowledged inferiors, not knowing that such dreams are the infallible proof of mediocrity.” Those unable to rise to the top through their own merits or abilities often climb over others by minimizing their value and diminishing their worth. Rand observes that “The question is not who is going to allow you to accomplish your goals – it is who will you allow to stop you (from accomplishing them)?” We are often our own worst enemies because we rush forward as soon as an opening exists then move blindly without input from others, oblivious to the light that a beacon to safety can offer during our self-imposed storms. Compounding that, we expect others to act quickly before gathering information that could be critical to the successful accomplishment of their objectives. Being a beacon is more than simply shining a light – it is also reflecting and redirecting the light of others so they might find their way even when the nights are darkest and the storms most violent in their lives. 

Do not allow yourself (OR others) to be lost in a fog or be shattered upon the rocks. Be a beacon that can “lighten” the load of others while helping them to find their own safety through the rocky shores that life presents us. Seek a guiding light from others should you become lost yourself as it is impossible to lead another when you need leadership yourself. There is no shame in admitting the need for help or support as long as accepting it provides us with the skills, knowledge, and ability to move forward on our own. Extinguishing the beacon of another, however, by closing it out or shutting it down…or shining our own light upon the safety of the shore rather than the turbulence of the waters…is a travesty which should not be allowed nor tolerated.

REFLECTING ON THE PAST TO ENSURE SUCCESS IN THE FUTURE

There are as many definitions of “success” as there are people seeking it. The dictionary defines success as “An event that accomplishes its intended purpose or a state of prosperity or fame”. Individuals often define it as “having arrived” or as “reaching the top,” whatever the top is and wherever having arrived might be. Let us consider for a moment that success is both the measure of how a person favorably impacts another and how much a person’s life improves due to his or her own planned, deliberate actions. Is there anything we can learn from intentionally reflecting upon what we have done that might positively impact what we have not yet achieved? Are there thoughts or attitudes that we engage in which pre-dispose us either to success or to failure? Does our past necessarily predict our future (or are we able to alter where we might go by how we think, act, and respond)? Whether we focus on our jobs, our relationships or our personal lives, success comes ONLY IF we purposefully establish a destination and then take intentional action that will lead us from where we are to where we wish to be. 

To some individuals, success is not a “possibility,” it is a probability…a foregone conclusion...something that is not considered an “if” but a “when.” The accomplishment of objectives for successful individuals is not seen through a “can it be done?” mindset but rather in a “what will be done AFTER this has been accomplished?” frame of reference. Success tends to elude individuals who dwell upon “what could go wrong.” It prefers to dwell within those who seek (and celebrate) “what is going to go right.” Successful individuals anticipate distractions and plan how to overcome them IF they arise. Those struggling to find success tend to wallow in their self-doubt and failures - working hard to anticipate and avoid all the troubles they feel WILL arise in their lives STOPPING them from becoming what they wish and hope to be (while taking little intentional action to MAKE that change happen). Trapped within a form of “analysis paralysis,” many people become so afraid to change – to risk impacting or upsetting what is (even if it is uncomfortable or undesirable) for fear of what might be (fearing the “worse” more than they seek the “better). Success IS NOT condemning oneself to the stagnant waters of the status quo just to avoid the potentially turbulent rapids of a river flowing quickly towards an awaiting tranquil pond of abundance.

How can one avoid the complacency of “status quo” within a world where simply “keeping pace” translates to being left behind? The ability to anticipate the unexpected - to exhibit flexibility and change direction when necessary – is a major success factor regardless of how you chose to define it. In order to succeed, to favorably impact yourself and others, three simple strategies should be considered:  

1)         Clearly define your personal and professional goals in order to establish what you would recognize and accept as being success. Write down both your successes (from what you have done in the past) AND your shortcomings (from actions taken OR not taken in the past). Once formalized, share your observations with a friend or associate. Leverage the support of those around you to ensure the plans you choose to make are followed-through rather than being allowed to languish.

2)          Assume that success is a foregone conclusion rather than a mere possibility. If you believe that something COULD happen, it MIGHT happen. If you believe that it WILL happen, nothing can deny it from becoming a reality. While success may take time to come to fruition, knowing that it will (even if it might not be as quick as you might wish) makes it much more likely to happen than hoping it might or wondering if it might actually materialize.

3)         Anticipate distractions (and detractors), planning how to overcome them IF THEY SHOULD ARISE rather than wasting time and energy assuming THAT THEY WILL ARISE (so why even begin, particularly if such agonizing significantly delays your acting in the first place). Roadblocks always detour progress but it important to remember they simply add time to a journey. Obstacles rarely block us from reaching our destination – they simply slow us down so we might gain the time to recognize an alternative solution, one that may be less direct but safer…one that, upon reflection, may be the best way to reach a goal. 

Regardless of what your goals are…what your definition of success might be…what your idea of accomplishment is…remember that the only wrong action is inaction – the only poor decision is one that is never made. Successful individuals often rest, retreat, or even circle back - but they always do so with the intent of moving steadfastly towards their final destination rather than being distracted along (or before ever beginning upon) the way. 

As you reflect on the successes (and failures) of your life, duplicate the positive actions that “made a difference” in order to help you move forward. Look ahead by assuming that success will be a foregone conclusion – facing each challenge with conviction, purpose, and a singular focus – as you seek to change your life, station, position, a relationship OR to positively impact your own life and the lives of those around you. SOMETIMES success can be a new result, other times progress on the implementation of a process, and occasionally the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Whatever success is to you, identify it, move towards its actualization, and celebrate its accomplishment as you move through life making the possible real and the seemingly inevitable but a bump in the road.

If Acting Happy Can Make One Feel Good, What MORE Could Hoping, Dreaming and Reaching for the Stars Do?

The Wall Street Journal once reported that walking in an upbeat way could improve one’s mood – and that swaying from side to side while walking would cause one to be more depressed. Resisting temptations such as chocolate, fats, and “indulgent” foods elevated one’s self-perception while succumbing to those temptations created an attitude of failure.  Talking to a total stranger while travelling rather than isolating yourself within your own thoughts and sitting with good posture rather than in a slumped-over fashion also caused individuals to be more positive in their reaction to life. It seems that many of the “right things” we do have a positive affect on our health and demeanor while the “wrong” or “questionable” things we do lead us to more unhealthy destinations. While these conclusions are the result of observations made during controlled, scientific research, think about some of the examples we might see or feel in our daily lives – whether they be at home OR at work.

Some very capable individuals tend to think more about what might go wrong (stressing and agonizing over the possibility that their darkest fears might come true) than what could go right (sending them into uncharted waters that could lead them to unimagined accomplishments).  They focus and dwell within the world of possibilities, as defined by their previous experiences, making sure they can respond to any contingency imaginable (without even considering what MIGHT be possible) – often missing the opportunity to “strike while the iron was hot” due to their deliberate nature and over-analyzing each situation to fit it into a neat little box that is defined by past knowledge and proven actions.  Other individuals consider a situation (challenge or opportunity), think about several of the more obvious ramifications that their actions might cause (knowing that each of their actions initiates an equal and opposite reaction), then decided to act based on what is known at the moment (rather than continuing to “posture” themselves to avoid all risk or minimize the chances of failure which often leads to stagnation or a lack of action).  These individuals often act (intentionally) knowing what might likely happen, recognizing what could possibly happen, and what had a small (but realistic) chance of happening (that would result in unimagined gains). The actions of these individualistic groundbreakers are often opposed to the tried and true…to the appropriate and acceptable methods – but they often put him ahead of the competition and in front of “the crowd.” Risk-takers often become dream makers able to hold their heads high in discovery rather than hanging them low in the successful accomplishment of the status quo.

People often begin each day with resolutions to change – an expressed thought of altered behavior that would result in significantly different results. Resolutions, however, tend to be immediately achievable transitions rather than long-term transformations – acts that are committed to lightly, rarely shared (accountability is not a good thing for many) and might be nice if accomplished but will not ruin anything if not.  If “walking with confidence” and “eliminating a sway while walking (ENTIRELY different from a swagger…one is a walk of insecurity while the other is a walk of confidence), think of what the accomplishment of an expressed goal (even if for only a short time) might do to an individual’s psyche.

Rather than “resolving to change,” commit to transform.  Do not accept only what is attainable – reach beyond the probable to experience the possible.  Set your targets boldly where people have previously feared to wander – not as a means to guarantee defeat but rather as a way to break through to destinations not yet discovered.  When you accept the things that others have already accomplished as your benchmarks, critics (and cynics) will always point out what did not work in the past while predicting your demise. When you seek new frontiers – look forward with anticipation rather than backwards in fear or dread – others are less apt (or able) to criticize because they have no basis (or experience) to support their predictions of failure, nor do they have the ability to say overcome those failures with what is right. 

Sincerely believing that you will succeed – when supported with appropriate training and resources – will contribute greatly to success.  Anticipating failure almost always becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.  Setting the bar high keeps your head up and your attitude will follow. Failing to set a goal will allow your head to drop as you drift aimlessly without a plan or a target but setting specific and limited goals that you know you can achieve tend to contain you rather than opening up the horizon for a new adventure into the unknown and unimagined

Act happy if you seek joy in life. Establishing your destination before you determine your route will help you accomplish things nobody has yet done. Predicting success (rather than assuming failure) will help you to succeed. The experts tell us to “walk happy to avoid depression?” I would say that is a great start…but only a start…to becoming a more successful “you.”

CREDIBILITY KILLERS

Life holds limitless possibilities – often influenced by the choices we make (or avoid making) every day. We have many opportunities to make a difference – most influenced by the way we perceive an issue, problem, or situation – yet many choose to obfuscate their influence by neglectfully doing nothing rather than intentionally doing something – or by asking for suggestions before moving forward upon a pre-determined path from which there was no room to consider alternative ideas. Respected leaders decide to act when action is necessary (and INTENTIONALLY choose NOT to act when allowing a situation to run its course). What many do not recognize is that taking no action can often create as much significant and meaningful change as planning and implementing for change if we are willing to accept the results of our inaction. When we preface failure with validators such as “but…” “if only…” or “it was not my fault…” we discount any learning or change that our efforts may have initiated by self-excusing our shortcomings and minimizing the need to succeed by accepting less than our best – a result that NEVER goes unnoticed by those looking to us for insight, direction, and leadership. 

Complacency is the strongest of emotions – more powerful than love or hate because it represents an acceptance of everything and a lack of conviction for anything – and perhaps the greatest killer of credibility that exists. Complacency cannot be argued or discussed – it is simply “existing” without feelings, recognition of others or acknowledgement of the value, feelings, or contributions of other individuals. Complacency obscures any thoughts of change behind the mask of “But…” (when linked to an “I hear you BUT it does not really matter because my mind is made up…) then buries it forever beneath the surface of “What do you think about…” (when you really do not care to think differently than you already do) or “It would have been different if only…” (when the blame is shifted or responsibility to another or side-stepped as being unimportant).  Leaders justifying their inaction or unintended failures by using these deferrals often create animosity and inferior results by shutting out plausible alternatives that “were not their own.”  When one asks for thoughts or ideas and, upon hearing a plausible suggestion immediately respond with “…that is what I was thinking…” (when it is obvious they “did not have a clue” or they would have “led” with their own idea while seeking validation from others) does not reinforce leadership knowledge or credibility. Awareness – and the taking of action based on that awareness – is the key to eliminating complacency and establishing credibility as you chart the path upon which you choose to travel (AND upon which others will confidently follow). Credibility Killers within Leadership might include words and actions (either intentional or inadvertent) such as:

• “I know I asked what you thought about this idea. I am going to do it my way anyway.”  Great leaders present ideas and alternatives then ask for suggestions that might make them more actionable and likely to succeed. They often will accept alternative solutions that may be more widely accepted even if it means altering their own thoughts or accepting a good idea with more support rather than the best idea having less support. When a leader asks for input, thought, and dismisses it – either by words or actions – employees are less likely to offer suggestions in the future as they do not believe you really care what they think anyway. 
  

• Credibility can be destroyed when leaders respond to others with “Thanks for your input BUT…” or continually react to what was done with “Great job BUT did you think about doing it this way?”. Whenever someone invokes the “but” card, the listener learns that nothing is important if said before the “but” AND only what comes after it will be acted upon by the speaker. People follow leaders who listen, analyze, explain and act…leaders that say what they plan to do AND why they plan to do it…rather than announcing their decisions and directions from behind the “but…” card. Choosing a direction by intentionally (OR unintentionally) minimizing the thoughts and contributions of others (without a rational reason or an honest consideration of employee’s suggestions) will create lemmings that follow rather than individuals who challenge and contribute to change. Managers sometimes encourage “mindless” following…leaders rarely find satisfaction in such an approach. 

• “Things would be different IF ONLY… (I had been recognized for the contribution I personally made to my company (or my relationship), someone else had done something differently or I would have just done it myself…”). Far too often people expect an immediate “return” for their efforts and are disappointed if they are not given one. Few people can find reward (or satisfaction) in their individual accomplishments or progress made towards the completion of a goal (rather than the completion itself). Most individuals require verbal recognition or visible rewards from “outside” rather than “inside” to feel appreciated and realize their actions are meaningful. If every situation (or relationship) were blanketed by an attitude of “how much can I give” rather than “how much will I receive,” we might find ourselves too engaged in basking within our accomplishments to seek excuses for our failures. When we focus on “what is” we rarely have time to focus on “what could have been IF ONLY…” Great leaders tend to act based on what they can control and THINK ABOUT how they can control (directly or indirectly) those things outside of their immediate realm of authority or range of accountability. “If only…” may provide an excuse as to why things did not go as planned but it can kill credibility when applied frequently as it minimized accountability and negatively impacts respect. 

Self-defeating (and action deferring) statements might make sense to someone looking to take the easy way through life, but not for someone passionately believing in maximizing the human potential. Exceptional leaders replace “if only…” with “what if?” They openly and honestly take responsibility for their failures (and learn from them). Leaders ask for (then consider and accept or provide sound reasons to reject) the advice of others before acting. Managers may ask for opinions from others but rarely provide reasons that the suggestions were not considered when their pre-conceived ideas are implemented. While great leaders may not ask for other’s opinions all the time (as their ideas are frequently well thought out and logically sound), only poor leaders ask for advice then proceed with their own thinking (without considering the suggestions given or thinking about their applicability). 

Leaders should not hide behind the “but…” escape hatch, sidestep responsibility for shortcomings by saying “if only…” or seek input (unless they plan to consider what is offered and explain why what was given will or will not be implemented). They cannot accept the thoughts offered by others as being “…just what I was thinking…” when it is obvious that HAD they been thinking something they would have led with their thoughts and sought validation rather than fished for solutions that could be claimed as their own. Credibility comes from saying what will be done and doing what is said…from listening, considering, and acting (explaining to all WHY the course taken was chosen) and from replacing “things would have been different IF ONLY…” with “the results are what they are BECAUSE OF what I (or we) did…and we can learn from them and change the outcomes if we alter our thoughts or the way we acted…”.  We establish and enhance credibility whenever we can honestly replace, “I would have done this except for…” with “I am glad I did this because…”