BECOMING WHAT WE WERE MEANT TO BE…

Far too many people try to act like who (or what) they wish they were rather than who they really are...seeking to be something or someone that others might “like better” or who might be more impactful without investing the “sweat equity” required to initiate change and produce transformation.  In order to modify our core beliefs, personality characteristics and learned abilities so that we become who we hope to be, we must see more gain from the change than we feel pain from NOT changing.  People change very little once they have established their basic values, patterns and thought processes.  It is often easier (and more effective) to leverage an individual’s strengths than it is to try to build up their shortcomings.  As Dr. Seuss so aptly proclaimed, "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."  We are who we become because of the choices we make and the roads that we take.  Whether those choices are intentional or we simply accept what others expect us to be and do, our actions shape and mold us into what we become.  Should we wish or hope to be anything different we must consciously decide to move from where we are to where we wish to be as we strive to satisfy and fulfill our own destiny RATHER THAN trying to please another or try to be all that another would have us be (for them rather than for ourselves).  When we seek to realize our full potential to become “all that we can be,” what others think or feel really does not matter for their expectations will change like the wind and only that which is real and anchored within ourselves will survive the storms of life.

Before we can achieve we must identify what needs to be accomplished and visualize the steps we should take to begin our journey – recognizing that the trail we choose may lead us through many detours and dead ends – forcing us to start and stop many times along the way – but will deter us only if we allow ourselves to be distracted by what might seem like the easy way out.  It may be that those who do most, dream most (Stephen Leacock).  We should dream about what we wish to have or accomplish, who we are or might wish to be, and how we expect to make a difference in the lives of others – recognizing how each might differ from our current circumstance.  One must first imagine something as being POSSIBLE before it can become PROBABLE – yet "Dreams take time, patience, sustained effort, and a willingness to fail if they are ever to be anything more than dreams." (Bryan Linkoski).  Dreams can become the destination to which life leads us as long as we give ourselves permission to follow them – to put our own wishes and desires on an equal plain with the expectations that others place upon us.  Those without dreams – without hopes of accomplishing more than they have or having more than they have been given – may live comfortably (and possibly find happiness within the walls that security might provide) but will never achieve greatly and rarely find true joy in life.

While “failure” is not necessarily a desired outcome of change, it is not often fatal.  We must realize that success rarely occurs without failure and that gain does not stand alone without loss.  Robert F. Kennedy said, "Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly."   Individuals who have truly made a difference in this world understand that failure is not the worst thing in they will ever face (and conquer).  Rather, the worst thing is to have failed to try – to not “get up” after being knocked down by life – refusing to push forward through trials for fear of what might be lost rather than looking forward to what might be gained.  Much intentional thought and deliberate action is required to succeed – failure becomes but the path of least persistence should we choose to avoid the pain that so often proceeds gain.  If we are to transform thoughts to reality, the word “impossible” must not be a part of our vocabulary.  While facts, information and well-considered alternatives are frequently the building blocks of change, perhaps Dexter Yeger appropriately described its essence saying, "If the dream is big enough, the facts don't count.”

Life is a series of chapters coming to an end as pages are turned to reveal new beginnings.  Knowing the facts and understanding how to make change happen does not ensure transformation in and of itself, however.  Will Rogers stated, "Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there."  As we seek change in our lives, actions and attitudes we should always consider that we are here to add what we can to life, not to get from it what might be offered.  We cannot hope to be any different unless (and until) we consciously leave what we have or where we are by consciously reaching for what we might want or how we would prefer to live.  Comfort (the coming to terms with who we are and what we can or cannot do) discourages change.  If life were meant to be stagnant we would not have been provided with a mind, a spirit and a free will to exercise the talents and abilities we each possess.  We would have been rooted in place rather than being allowed to wander – finding satisfaction with things as they have always been rather than seeking those possibilities that have not yet materialized.  We would be comfortable and content within “the box” that we accept as our limitation rather than choosing to stand upon it to search for new opportunities, seeking what “could be” rather than accepting “what is.”  Life is limited not by what the world tells us is impossible but rather by what we allow ourselves to believe is possible.

Mark Twain once said "Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first."  We are not “owed” success – we must identify what it means, seek it without limitation then INTENTIONALLY ACT to make it become reality within our lives.  Think big, act audaciously (without fear of failure) and keep your eyes focused on the prize (even if you begin to slide backwards along the way) as you transform failure’s lessons into success.  While being what another might wish you to be or acting as he or she might want you to act could provide a life of comfort and security – of avoiding conflict and minimizing risk, being true to yourself – seeking to become the most that you can be and settling for nothing less than the happiness you deserve – will ultimately provide joy in your journey and the fulfillment of your true potential.