MINIMIZING THE STIFLING POWER OF NEGATIVE THINKING

Have you ever had a really great idea that was shot down by your boss, your team, or your partner before it had a chance to evolve into reality? Have you wanted to try something new and different…an unproven approach to resolving a recurring problem…but hesitated to invest the time for fear of being told “no?” Have you ever worried so much about what might go wrong that you did not have time to think about what might go right? What about a fear of being rejected or turned down that was so overwhelming that you chose to stay the course even when you were fairly sure the status quo would replicate the unacceptable here and now? The stifling power of negative thinking can imprison us within a room from which we can see no escape while it prevents us from fulfilling our potential.

Individuals typically have at least two roads upon which they might travel when faced with a decision or situation that requires intentional action in order to reach a desired destination – one being proven and tested with the other being less travelled. Think about how you might feel if you were walking alone upon an unimproved mountain trail on a dark, stormy night hurrying to reach the safety of your camp. Suddenly, the path before you disappears – the ground opens up – and you find yourself falling uncontrollably into the void. With nothing and nobody to cling to for support, you feel helpless. You cannot save yourself as you fall into an abyss, “finally” stopping several feet into your slide (but feeling like the ride was an eternity). Others experience the same helpless feeling when you encourage them to take risks or step outside of their comfort zone then let them “take the fall” should anything go wrong. Negative thinking – particularly the anticipation of abandonment that others feel when they believe your support will be withheld should something “bad” happen (while knowing you will be happy to assume responsibility when something goes right) – can be paralyzing.

Today’s world has given us enough to fear (social, economic, political, environmental, and physical uncertainty) that we do not need to layer upon what others already experience through our negativity in words, thoughts, or actions. When others depend upon you to train, support, or share experiences with them but you demonstrate a lack of empathy, trust or understanding, do not be surprised when they allow the power of negative thinking to speak louder than the words of encouragement that you might share. Just being there when the gaping chasm opens up in their path can provide a safety net to break their fall rather than allowing the dark to swallow them up. The knowledge that someone is there for them to support their decisions and – throwing them over the edge without a lifeline as they tumble helplessly through the darkness. DO NOT hold onto an individual so tightly that he or she is unable to explore but DO give others a rope to hold onto should they venture into the unknown. Provide them with the support needed to minimize the risk of falling BUT allow them to learn from failing (as well as from succeeding) if you wish to see positive optimism supersede negative thinking.

The next time you think about “fixing” another’s problem for (rather than with) them, saying “something cannot be done” (rather than it might not be fiscally possible), or in any other way stifling an employee’s creative spirit, think about how YOU would feel if in free-fall down a mountainside – surrounded by negativity and despair – without an obvious way out nor a safe harbor in sight. Be supportive and “positive” to others so they can strengthen themselves and those around them. Stifle the power of negative thinking by encouraging others – whether they succeed or fail – to always try, learning from their mistakes and celebrating their victories, as they move relentlessly forward towards the accomplishment of their goals rather than wallowing in futility within the brackish waters of defeat.