PLAN FOR (but never EXPECT or ACCEPT) THE WORST WHILE HOPING FOR THE BEST

Some people identify the many things that could go wrong in their life then spend most of their waking hours trying to avoid those possibilities. They find themselves worrying so much about what COULD go wrong that they have no time to consider what MIGHT go right. Focusing on (and investing in) negative outcomes tends to spiral into a self-fulfilling prophecy – when we are so convinced that something is going to fail it becomes our driving force and we make decisions and take steps intended to keep something from happening rather than making something different happen. We become laser focused on avoiding what we think to be inevitable but plan no alternative course of action that could lead us towards an alternative outcome. Avoidance becomes an escape – which takes on a life of its own – but simply side-stepping an issue does not ensure success. If we believe something is likely to become reality, it probably will UNLESS we intentionally change the likelihood by taking definitive alternative action. Successful people (and those that are generally happy) tend to hope for (and expect) the best possible outcome (rather than worrying about possible disasters). While successful people prepare for and remaining cognizant of what COULD happen, they tend to formulate several courses of actions that could be taken IF (not when) the worst begins to happen.

Examples of this kind of thinking are plentiful in society today. Individuals looking to take on new responsibilities or move to a new job often think about what will happen if the move does not work out – whether their old job might still be available or if they might be able to do something else in the new organization if it does not work out. Insecure individuals may seek employment contracts to protect them rather than allowing their accomplishments make them irreplaceable or blame others for their inability to “get invited to the decision-making table.” People go into relationships thinking about how they will move on or who will be there if their partnership “goes south” rather than seeing it as something more permanent that might take time, effort, and personal sacrifice to solidify. Fortunately (or unfortunately) when people expect something to happen it often does. You overeat around the Holidays and know you will gain weight and (surprisingly???) it happens. You make a New Year’s Resolution knowing that you will probably abandon it by February (allowing yourself to get too busy to see it through after about 3 weeks of half-hearted effort). You begin a new project by thinking about why it could never work because it is so different from what is being done now. If one truly defaults to “all that could go wrong” or avoid the potential of great rewards because of the probability of devastating failure the paths you take will typically lead to dead ends, detours and cliffs that will inevitably keep you from moving forward.

Planning for the best DOES NOT (necessarily) mean that one should expect miracles or Devine intervention to produce those results. Wishing and hoping for a BB gun as a child may or may not bring those thoughts to fruition. Hoping for a way to be your company’s President may be a realistic dream for some but may not fall within the “reality” framework for many others. Unless (and until), however, we begin to think like achievers – like a “success just waiting to happen” – will we never become anything more than complainers or finger pointers assigning blame as validation and justification for why what we thought was going to happen did.

Successful individuals RECOGNIZE the things that could go wrong but do not dwell upon them as they focus their efforts and energies on what they EXPECT to happen (a positive result) rather than on how to avoid what might be in the way. They CONSIDER the potential pitfalls of the steps they may have to take in order to plan alternative courses of action BUT focus is on what MUST be done if they are to reach their destination rather than what MIGHT HAPPEN to derail them on their journey to the prize. While hopes and expectations are necessary if one is to succeed, we also must have REALISTIC hopes and expectations that align with our skills, abilities, experience, potential and desires. One could hope to fly an airplane but will not realistically accomplish that without the proper training, practice, and experience. One could hope to lead others upon a path to success but will probably not be able to do so unless they are properly equipped with the skills and training needed to lead (rather than to order, direct or manage) others. One might hope for a strong relationship but must be prepared to willingly give more than they might expect to receive after establishing a solid foundation of friendship upon which a shared life might be built rather than thinking about what could go wrong before investing the time in what might go right or how they might be able “to get out of a relationship” before they give it a chance to grow. 

One cannot succeed when their planning for the worst is driven by an anticipation of or an expectation that the worst is inevitable - that there is no way to avoid what might happen so why plan for an alternative. Success comes to those that expect the best as they plan what they will do to continue moving forward should an obstacle (inevitably and without discouragement) appears.