THREE WAYS TO INITIATE CHANGE

There are three ways we can try to change another’s behavior – order change then enforce the altered behavior with penalties or threats (coercion), provide a reward or some other external recognition that is of value should they change (motivation), or show a path that will make them a better person or allow them to be something different than they are (inspiration). Whether in a business or personal relationship – or any role in which we find ourselves interacting with another in order to accomplish a single objective – positive and meaningful change results from an intentional action (even if one intentionally decides not to act) rather than an accidental happenstance – with the most effective change being planned, engages all having an interest in the altered results and provides more “gain” than “pain” to those expected to participate.

Supervisors (or those seeing themselves as being “dominant” in a relationship) often coerce individuals to change. They issue orders, give directions, and tell people what to do (and usually how to do it). Theirs can often be a world having few opportunities for independent action (having been appointed or selected based on their strong technical abilities or assuming control out of either hidden inadequacies or self-proclaimed expertise) so they provide few chances for people they supervise to act independently. Coercive individuals often expect a response of “how high?” when they ask another to “jump” rather than “Why are we doing this?” or “Is this really the best way?” They spend much time assigning work, reviewing progress (and processes), and measuring results (and how they were accomplished), leaving little time to invest on motivating or influencing altered behavior. Rather than asking or laying the groundwork for change, coercive individuals direct and monitor the activities of others so they can personally benefit from their accomplishments. Individuality is negated when change is coerced as responses become defined and expected rather than encouraged and supported. In personal relationships, individuals who coerce others often tear them down to build themselves up – focus on “what went wrong” rather than celebrating “what went well” while justifying their own poor behavior by pointing out another’s worse results. Coercive individuals tend to get what they want but may get ONLY what they want – and often find that their gains are short term of limited value or sustained duration. They find that telling may produce quick results, but rarely does it produce the best result imaginable.

Managers often motivate individuals to change. They identify alternatives, provide choices, and give people reasons that make them want to alter their behavior. Motivation to change can be as minimal as providing verbal praise and recognition (publicly) to providing a tangible reward (privately OR publicly) intended to induce alternative actions. When combined with punishment for not changing, motivation can be a powerful means of producing results. The problem with motivation, however, is that an external force must initiate the change. In a working relationship, a manager often identifies what is best for the organization, the employee and him- or her-self then initiates action by spelling out what may happen if change does not occur (coercion) but also what will happen should favorable change occur (motivating the alternative action). As long as a manager is present to identify a suspect behavior, assist in the avoidance of negative consequences, and provide reason to change, good things will happen. Rarely, however, will an employee used to constant motivation see the need to change unless they continue to receive external impetus. In a relationship, individuals seeking subtle control often do so by first “breaking down” another (coercion) then providing a reason that change would be beneficial (often benefiting the motivator as much if not more than the motivated). Much can be accomplished when individuals are motivated to change – the problem with motivation, however, is that an object at rest (or an individual who is content to do what he or she is doing) tends to remain at rest (or doing what has proven to be comfortable). Until one has been convinced that their behavior must change to receive different results, he or she will typically not experience growth.

Leaders inspire others to change. Rather than telling people what must be done they suggest that change is warranted and show individuals a better way. Rather than dwelling upon an individual’s negative behavior (or weaknesses) they reward positive efforts (or call out exceptional attributes). Leaders paint a picture of “what if” or “what could be” rather than one of “what is” or “what will always be.” A leader makes people want to change in order to achieve something they wish to have, accomplish or become. Inspirational change goes beyond telling (coercion) and selling (motivation) – it leads another towards self-actualization. Inspiration causes people to see why changes should take place, creating an internal desire to abandon who they were to become what awaits them in a different place. Inspirational change is often caused by one’s desire to “be like” another or to achieve what someone else has accomplished – to make oneself (or another) proud of their actions. In a personal relationship, inspirational leadership makes another want to join in (rather than follow) and to share a road less travelled (rather than taking the quickest, fastest route to nowhere). Rarely will inspirational leaders tell another what must be done or how to do it. When we seek that which has not yet been identified we initiate lasting change – which becomes the platform for continued growth.

Whether you choose to coerce, motivate, or inspire change, recognize that an individual must see a reason to change before they will abandon their ways to pursue a new horizon. We cannot CREATE change within an individual – we are only able to initiate it. We cannot FORCE change within an individual – we are only able to guide it. We cannot make another do that which they choose not to – we can only provide positive reasons to act AND identify negative consequences should they choose not to act. Change can alter the direction of “what is” in order to move towards “what could be” but will never be life-altering UNLESS an individual initiates it to foster personal growth.