TIMES CHANGE…DO YOU?

Everyone comes to a fork in the road – a decision point that forever changes what they have done, redirecting all efforts and activities FROM what they have been TOWARDS the accomplishment of what they have yet to become. When we trap ourselves within a world of excuses by defaulting to what might have happened “if only” we had acted differently (while doing nothing to change the way we look at, address or act in response to a situation), we will never experience anything different than we have already lived, felt, and attained. “If only…” will never define “what is…” or “what could be…” should we truly wish to alter the course of our lives and the way we make decisions. Dwelling upon things NOT accomplished (or done poorly) will never initiate change as that tends to reinforce your limitations by rationalizing what has already been said and done (rather than celebrating your abilities and the way they could be applied to seek an alternative reality).

We will never experience our full potential by seeking comfort within a world defined by our past OR by other’s expectations – by doing what is required ONLY by doing it EXACTLY as we are told (without considering how it might be done better) or as it has always been done (without seeking to improve past practices). Life is not a spectator sport – it requires careful consideration, insightful planning, and the intentional implementation of action. Most successful individuals establish basic tenants for their life – rules they use to hold themselves accountable for their own actions. Five significant “truths” that should be considered as one chooses which path to take when confronted with a fork in the road – the trail providing the “highest return on investment” while identifying and maintaining an acceptable level of risk – would include the following:

• It is OK to make a mistake AS LONG AS the same mistake is not repeated with no intention to change or avoid the negative outcome. It is OK to make a wrong decision – any well-thought-out decision is better than no decision – even if the decision might be to delay making one until further research allows us to make an informed choice – but it is NOT all right to avoid deciding just to minimize confrontation, discomfort or fear of the unknown. It is OK to try and fail – as long as we learn from our failures – but it is NOT alright to expect different results by doing the same things and making the same mistakes as we have always done. Learn from your errors, using them as a springboard to propel you forward.
• Focus on things you can control. Identify obstacles that are within your sphere of influence and actively seek to eliminate the hurdles you cannot control by giving them to someone who has the ability to influence them. As you grow, seek to identify the factors you cannot influence or control (but could accomplish MUCH if you could) and either attempt to gain the experience, ability or authority to change them or find ways they can be overcome (or you will never move from where you are to where you wish to be). As you identify obstacles and navigate through troubled waters, maintain a narrow focus upon what is immediately ahead of you (rather than looking several miles down the road when the potholes are right in front of you) so that progress can be made one step at a time.
• Results are recognized – effort is merely a means to the end. If one seeks praise for working hard or contributing, he/she will often be disappointed by life’s realities. Let recognition (and satisfaction) come your way through the results your effort achieves (whether or not anyone else speaks openly about them) rather than seeking praise or validation for each step you take along the way. In the end, we can find satisfaction, purpose and value ONLY in what we see, do, experience and accomplish – and how those things might impact or benefit others – when we fulfill our own expectations rather than seeking outward praise from others.
• All individuals may speak, question, and have a voice in any decision but that does not mean all votes are equal. Life is not a democracy. Input is valued but individuals responsible for the ultimate success of any endeavor must – and will - make the final decision. Do not confuse “equal” with “equitable” as you seek to identify and establish new opportunities. All individuals have different gifts, attributes and experiences that, when applied proportionately to a decision, can have a significant impact. If all such attributes were treated equally, however, decisions may never be made and goals might never be accomplished as too much talk and equality can hinder the decision-making process and keep acceptable risk from being taken.
• There is nothing that “cannot be done” (and rarely anything that cannot be “undone”). While some solutions may not be cost-effective, are simply impractical or beyond our ability to implement, an “I cannot…” “It is not possible,” and “Nobody would do it that way…” attitudes is not acceptable. Well thought-out solutions to issues you may encounter in life are not reasons for celebration, they are simply expectations of the way you should continually exhibit and utilize your abilities as you move forward towards your intended destination…as you anticipate what the NEXT fork in your road might be rather than resting upon your laurels for choosing one correct path. Detours, roadblocks, and other disruptions often interfere with our progress when we make an initial decision but as long as we NEVER give up, give in or give away our ability to make a difference through the things we do, think or say, we will move from where we are to where we wish to be. A results-focused orientation is critical when choosing the right path to take and persistence is required to either follow through OR begin anew as one moves along the road less travelled. 

When choosing a path upon which you wish to travel, focus on (and expand upon) the things you have experienced and accomplished rather than dwelling upon the things that “COULD have been done IF ONLY you had not run out of time” or “Cannot be changed or modified because the ship has already sailed.”  Building from a foundation of “what is” (whether that be good, bad, or constantly changing) will always be more relevant to life than hiding behind “What could have been IF only…”  Seeking “what has yet to happen” as one looks to harvest the best fruits that life can offer will ALWAYS provide a better foundation upon which to build than “Why try?” or “What is done is done…” will ever provide.