Where Have All The Leaders Gone?

During this time of economic, political, international, and cultural transition, when strong, unwavering leadership is needed more than ever, I fear that many leaders have taken leave – or are at least staying so far below the radar screen (and out of the line of fire) that their effectiveness may be compromised. Within families, parents want to be their children’s friends rather than their spiritual and emotional leaders. Within relationships people are so concerned with “avoiding conflict” that critical issues are often overlooked or ignored. Where have they gone…and how can we bring them back…are two crucial questions that must be asked during these times where competent and influential leadership could make all the difference in the world.

While managers can be (and often are) appointed, promoted or anointed, leadership is expressed through an individual’s actions and revealed through his or her character. A manager often identifies and assigns blame while a leader realizes who may be at fault then assumes responsibility for what he or she SHOULD HAVE DONE BETTER in order to prevent an issue. A director deflects criticism and generates excuses while a leader addresses it and takes steps to avoid its recurrence.  In a family, addressing a situation might result in as much “punishment” for the leader as it does for the one being led in terms of lost time or “restricted activities” (when the “crime” demands supervised time as a punishment) while a manager may mandate isolation or “lock down” punishment. In relationships, honesty is, by far, the best policy…but people would prefer to engage in small talk having little significant life-changing possibilities than to talk about potential issues before they become a problem or talk about difficult situations rather than burying themselves in front of a phone or a computer screen – some preferring to “data-communicate” than discuss openly and honestly…preferring to “fire their shots across another’s bow” without giving the opportunity to debate or clarify (I recently saw four people at a restaurant all using their phones rather than taking advantage of the time they could be spending developing or enjoying personal relationships). Far too many individuals seem to be looking for excuses as to why something happened (or did not happen) rather than accepting the present as reality that must be lived, handled, and moved on from while seeking a reasonable and acceptable resolution. It seems that, if you listen carefully enough, everyone ELSE did things wrong…nothing is anyone’s own fault and “what will be will be” seems to be perfectly acceptable (RATHER THAN seeking “what might be better”). Other more specific examples of “lost leadership” would include:

• The news reports on individuals without jobs being unwilling to accept available employment as their needs are being met through government assistance or the delay / forgiveness of loans, debts, or other financial obligations. Though all do not feel this way, many would prefer to “get something for nothing” than to work hard for not much more than unemployment and other federal assistance might provide. Far too many are seeking someone or something to rescue them from financial ruin (preferring to let someone else lead) rather than taking charge of their own situation and finding a long-term solution.
• The government tries to “bring up” those having less by “taking from” those that have more – but in so doing the motivation, desire and ability of those able to make a difference is reduced. Equity does not equal equality and until we recognize that all should provide what they can rather than receiving all that is needed we may never return to an independent and self-supporting world.
• Educated, compliance-oriented professionals who have not yet experienced “practical” reality nor demonstrated an ability to lead are stepping in for individuals having proven knowledge and practical experience as they exit the workforce. While life-long learning is a good and desirable thing, learning from books does not provide the experience that learning from one’s past failures can…in order to “lead by example” one must have experienced an example and planned results rather than living in the theoretical and striving for the best-case scenario.
• In an “I am OK, but I am not so sure about you” society, paranoid (or insecure) individuals view any comment or suggestion that is different from what they might wish or want to happen as being criticism rather than being supportive. They tend to “protect turf” by building walls and silos to keep others out rather than openly sharing and encouraging for the good of the cause or the growth of another…rather than seeking to build upon the strengths of a whole they seek to mandate or impose their individual will to advance a personal agenda.

Individuals must be given the tools (education/knowledge/mentoring) with which to work and the environment (honest, open, accepting and forgiving) in which to operate if they are expected become leaders.  A manager can lead but often gains a following through fear and intimidation, creating a sense of “having to” follow for fear of the consequences. A leader influences by example, gaining the support of others wanting to follow him or her into battle. Leaders prefer to pull others along – managers tend to push others along in front of them (buffering themselves from the realities of life by “hanging out” away from life’s realities. A great leader understands his or her “audience,” be it a corporate group, a family or a significant other, and tempers his or her words, actions, and responses against what the listening party seeks (will accept or understands).  A manager frequently “could care less” what others think or feel as long as his or her individual needs are met.

Look at yourself and your style. Are you a part of the solution or are you a major part of the problem? Do you inspire others to positive action or do your actions encourage them to conspire against you? Do you lead by example or by manage through edict? Do you anticipate “what might happen” and prepare for it or react to “what has happened” by blaming others and getting them to accept (or submit to) the consequences?  In a world being run more and more by feelings rather than facts – by thoughts rather than life experience – by consensus rather than individual courage – perhaps it is time that we all raised our leadership quotient a bit (and expected the same from our leaders!).

Our world needs confident, competent leaders willing to take risks and celebrate (or grow from) their consequences. In business, fair and ethical leaders are a pre-requisite to sustainable growth. In our personal relationships we need to seek honesty and integrity as we work together with those close to us. In our families we need to lead by example. A society that expects others to “do as I say rather than as I do” is one that may “get by” but will rarely thrive.

Where have the leaders gone?  Look in the mirror – we all lead someone or something, be it a business, a family or simply our own existence.  Do not let your mirror be clouded with the promise of something for nothing…with an unbelievable image of something or someone that is not you.  Step out of the shadows and let your intentional actions reflect positively upon someone else as you fulfill your own destiny as you become a leader to those around you rather than an anchor holding them back.