DEVELOP YOURSELF TO DEFINE YOUR FUTURE

We should never try to be someone we are not as there is only one you and we should try to make that the best possible alternative in our life as it is the only variable we can truly control. Many individuals feel they must do something (or be something) different to be successful because they are unhappy (discontented, ashamed, embarrassed by or frustrated) with themselves. Unless there is more to be gained by changing, however, than pain to be felt should we NOT change, such corrections rarely prove effective (lasting, foundational, or earth-shattering). People change very little once they have established their basic values, patterns and thought processes…discover what thoughts and actions provide maximum results that require minimal effort. Because people are creatures of habit, it is often easier to leverage accomplishments and proven abilities than it is to envision an emerging future by building upon hopes and dreams in an effort to create a new and different reality. A “well known philosopher” (Dr. Suess) once aptly proclaimed, "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." We should seek to become all that we can because WE want that outcome, not because SOMEONE ELSE wants it, or we may have difficulty sustaining the energy level needed to initiate and grow from change.

People often sit back and think about what they have (or do not have), who they are (or who they might wish to be), and what they want to do (or to do differently) as they seek to alter the course of their lives. One must first, however, imagine something as being possible before it can become probable – yet dreams take time, patience, sustained effort, and an individual’s willingness to fail (then learn from it rather than succumbing to it) if we hope to achieve anything more than we have done in the past. Unless (and until) we dream of something different and invest more than passing thoughts in its realization, nothing will change.

While “failure” is not a desired (nor welcome) outcome of the change process, dreamers often recognize that there is a very real possibility they may not achieve immediate success. Robert F. Kennedy once said "Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly." Individuals who have truly made a difference in this world understand that failure is not the worst thing that might happen to them – failing to try (or refusing to learn from their failure) is far more impactful (and personally devastating). While much intentional thought and deliberate action is required to succeed, individuals making a difference in life recognize that nothing of significance is ever accomplished without having to overcome criticism, conflict and doubt as they move from the established road to a path less travelled. Further, if thoughts are to become reality, the word “impossible” must never be considered. While facts, information and well-considered alternatives are the building blocks of change, when our dreams become real to us – taking on a life of their own as we strive to fulfill the possibilities that they present – the facts do not really matter.  What we BELIEVE we tend to ACHIEVE – it is those things we only wish and hope for (without believing we could ever accomplish them) that often fall to the wayside.

Life is a series of starts and stops – of closed chapters and of new beginnings. If we are to realize change, it is important that we not only recognize the need for altered behavior as we plan for a different outcome but that we also intentionally ACT to make it happen. Knowing the facts and understanding how to make change happen does not ensure transformation. Even if we know what must be done AND recognize our role – realizing the path that must be taken should we choose to leave where we are in pursuit of what we wish to be – we will be run over and left behind if we just sit and consider what the next steps might be rather than moving forward, one tentative step at a time.

During times of change – of altered perspectives and intentional actions that create potential conflict and send us into unchartered waters – many seek to follow individuals more willing to take risks. They hope for the rewards earned by those willing to risk much by hitching their wagons to another’s star. They seek equality rather than equity in the world – often pulling down those who are successful, taking from them the fruits of their labor in an effort to narrow the gap between “those who have and those who have not.”  Think about how much could be accomplished (and achieved) if “those without” would be willing to accept the tools necessary to narrow the gap and learn how to use them to elevate themselves (rather than hoping to have what they feel they deserve handed to them by those who have worked and invested to make a difference). 

Mark Twain once said, "Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first." We are not “owed” success – we must identify what WE consider to be success before seeking ways that might move us from possibility to probability, then ACT INTENTIONALLY to make our hopes and dreams become reality if we are to experience change. What might be possible if everyone worked towards an elevated goal rather than accepting their current reality as an end?  Imagine the heights we could achieve if all attempted to reach the top of their mountain rather than being content to rest its shadows and the valleys. Think of the dreams that might be brought to fruition if all viewed their present position in life a starting point rather than a destination – a beginning rather than an end. Embrace (without fearing) failure and accept (without hesitation) each opportunity or challenge that enters your life if you seek to transform the dreams you may have into the reality that you can achieve.