RUNNING AWAY FROM A SITUATION ACCOMPLISHES LITTLE…RUNNING TOWARDS AN OPPORTUNITY CAN ACCOMPLISH MUCH

Many people think that moving away from a situation – that picking up and starting over – is all they need to do to begin a new life and experience different results given the same effort in a new environment. They feel that changing the people, places, and things around them will drastically alter their lives – will magically cause them (and others) to react differently and view their chosen course of action in a way that might somehow be more productive or beneficial. In reality, people rarely run away from themselves when they try to escape their problems so “picking up and starting over” accomplishes very little to generate lasting change.

Many maximize the impact others have on their failures while minimizing their own contribution to negative results. They tend to maximize their personal contributions towards any success while discounting the involvement of others and minimize their own part in failure while maximizing what others did to cause it. We can run from places, situations, relationships, and the ramifications of the choices we make but we cannot alter “who we are” or how we react by positioning ourselves in a different environment. When recognizing the need for change (and identifying the steps needed to initiate it, “the monster in the closet” that needs addressing is often “us” (and the things we do) rather than “them” (or the things done to us). If we are to overcome the obstacles standing between where we are and where we wish to be we must realistically identify the role we played in the success AND/OR of the failings of an endeavor (rather than claiming all the credit while shifting all the blame).

People tend to live in a world of “what is” rather than of “what if.” We like to make excuses for things that happen “to us” rather than identifying and implementing solutions that could change “where or what we are” so we might become “what we wish to be.” We create our own success by identifying the issue, considering the ramifications of each possible alternative solution, taking intentional action (rather than hoping something will change on its own), then measuring the impact our choice made in the world around us – never giving up or moving on until the result we sought has been realized. We cannot run away from “who” we are by transplanting ourselves into a different time and place…we must identify our strengths (and leverage them) as well as our weaknesses (and work to overcome them). We only shift “who and what we are” to a new location when we run from a situation (rather than moving intentionally towards a solution). We cannot become something other than what we have always been simply by moving to a new location, beginning a new relationship, or taking a new job UNLESS we change, alter, or modify ourselves in such a manner that new initiatives and different perspectives are welcomed probabilities rather than remote possibilities.

Change can be good (if it is intentional rather than accidental and planned rather than reactive). Before running where brave men refuse to walk, however, we should ask WHY we want to move, WHAT we will do differently, and HOW our actions (thoughts or attitudes) will be expressed in a more actionable way than they were in the place we wish to leave behind. We should determine if the rewards are more significant than the risks and whether we are as willing to learn from failure as we are to achieve success. Others cannot make us successful (though they might be able to provide us with opportunities to succeed). People cannot be “something different” by simply changing their environment – they must identify their own role in “who and what they are” (along with where they choose to exist) if a “fresh start” is to occur.

Words describe what one wishes to accomplish…actions define success. We cannot do doing things the same way they have always been done and expect different results. We must intentionally invest our knowledge, talents, and abilities to make ourselves successful AND to contribute to the success of those around us. Meaningful change does not come easily and unless we change who we are, all we can leave behind by running away is how others impact what we wish to become.