ARE SELF-IMPOSED BOUNDARIES BECOMING INSURMOUNTABLE BARRIERS THAT PREVENT YOU FROM REALIZING YOUR POTENTIAL?

What forms a boundary for you – a wall or obstacle that keeps you from doing what might be possible for fear of leaving what is currently acceptable or probable? Are your boundaries formed from your life experiences – from the things you did (or did not do) as a child? Perhaps you limit yourself  out of respect for the past (the way things always were or have always been), relying upon the “tried and true” to rule the day rather than seeking a brave new world for which there is no “owner’s manual.” Some disregard historical limits out of their desire to run from the past – but do so without thought or consideration of what might be better (rather than simply different). Is our hesitancy to abandon the comfort we feel within a practiced, predictable, and pragmatic world nurtured by our reluctance to enter situations where we have no experience or exacerbated by our fear of failure should we try to step forward with no guarantee of success? Whatever the reasons, many individuals limit their potential by building boundaries that contain them within their present (which was formed by their past) keeping them from ever entering a future that could be different in so many ways. 

Perhaps the time has come to identify our limitations and cast off the ties that bind us to them. We need not mount a charge up a mountainside or completely and utterly destroy the walls we have so carefully constructed around us in order to initiate change. We must, however, identify our boundaries, understand why they exist and take intentional action to overcome the limitations they place upon our advancement and growth if we wish to make a difference – to make positive change – within this world. The critical components in initiating change are identifying what keeps us from doing what we know we should (or want to) do then acting to minimize (or eliminate) the barrier that prevents us from moving forward. We need not “open doors and blow roofs off” to initiate change…to completely leave our roots in order to identify new trails upon which we might wander…be we DO need to at least open a window of possibility if we wish to let something different into (or accomplish something not yet considered possible within) our lives. 

We are provided much by society without even trying to accomplish anything on our own…things that ensure a comfortable lifestyle built upon the accomplishments of those coming before us and the dreams of those living beside us. Many find so much comfort in what has been they refuse to seek what might be…to initiate a journey that might lead them to things not yet considered and places not yet travelled. Stability and consistency can be good and meaningful, yet they can inhibit our growth and throttle our progress if we allow the past to envelope our lives. We should cherish our experiences, build upon our abilities, and learn from our mistakes as we continually seek new and better ways to accomplish things…as we venture forward into the unknown looking for a place not realized. One may need to risk much in order to initiate minimal change but can mitigate the risk and likelihood of failure by planning, considering alternatives and anticipating what might happen (being ready to react to it) by equipping ourselves to act with the training, peer or outside support or the knowledge needed to transform “what is” into “what could be.”  If we recognize and acknowledge several “truths” about our past (which often serve as boundaries), we may be “released” to move forward in a new direction more freely. 

1. Who you are is often a result of where you came from and the experiences you were provided. This past should never become the destination you seek but rather a firm foundation from which you begin your journey. Far too many individuals mask their fear of advancing beyond their present reality – and some even to face the reality of their present situation – by hiding themselves within the richness of their traditions and the heritage of their past. Holding on to the past is not a bad thing. When holding on causes us to hold back, however – when retaining traditions and deep cultural heritage becomes a destination in which we find comfort rather than the historical foundation from which we find our strength and launch our endeavors – we discourage growth, encourage stagnation, and set ourselves up to MAINTAIN (rather than to change) the world in which we live.
2. When one thinks of who they are and where they come from, expecting more to be given them than they hope to contribute – asking for more than they are willing to share – they often find themselves settling for “what is” within their world of tradition and pride, potentially building a barrier that will keep them from changing focus from a world of entitlement to one offering an unlimited future that has yet to be realized within our world.  One must continually give of oneself in order to gain – knowing and expecting another to refill them through reciprocal sharing – in order to expand their sense of past into a hope for tomorrow. 
3. Should a society (an organization or an individual) find contentment in what is, seeking no more nor accepting less – refusing to acknowledge or recognize that growth and advancement comes only through change – innovation will be lost and mediocrity will thrive. A society (or individual) without dreams is but a hollow shell of what could potentially be. Unless (and until) we seek the tools that will enable us to initiate change effectively (Training, Coaching, Mentoring, Diversification of Experience), we may find pride and accomplishment in what we have been given but will rarely build a new hope for ourselves (or those who come after us). 

Traditions, experiences and our pasts – relationships and acquaintances, knowledge and how it is applied – are the “glue” that holds us together on the framework upon which we build our lives. They can also, however, serve as boundaries that keep us from new discoveries, different experiences, and unprecedented actions. Striking a balance between where we came from, who we are, and what we wish to become will help us move from what once was through what now is to what might possibly be. Remember and celebrate your past, your traditions and your heritage but DO NOT allow them to prevent you from looking ahead to what could be and moving forward to reach lofty goals – to fulfill high expectations. Learn from your experiences, seek life-long learning opportunities (formally or informally), and build upon what you have accomplished to make a difference BUT be careful that your boundaries do not become barriers that prevent growth, change and relationships.