INEFFECTIVE PRIVATE RESOLUTION OR LIFE-CHANGING PUBLIC REVOLUTION…YOU BE THE JUDGE

It seems that people can make the worst out of even the best situation. Many see the new beginnings ushered in by January 1^st each year as a justification to leave what they have in search of something different (without identifying why they want to leave nor what must be done to change). Whether they find a new job within their organization or seek a new job elsewhere…whether they find new friends or simply isolate themselves from the friends that no longer fill their needs…whether they truly commit to “hit the gym” or they decide to just “give it a try,” or whether they seek to renew a relationship that has been failing or find a new one (that will probably fail without systemic change)…far too often people “run from” a situation rather than “running towards” a better opportunity. We cannot expect anything other than what we have always had unless we decide to do something different than we have always done. Unless (and until) we intentionally choose to do things in a way that has never been tried will we be able to “foster revolution” that can change the world (rather than maintaining the status quo which will keep it from ever changing).  Whenever you seek change, consider the following:

1)      INDIVIDUALS SEEKING CHANGE ARE OFTEN MORE DRIVEN BY WHAT THEY WISH TO LEAVE BEHIND THAN BY WHAT THEY WISH TO BUILD UPON ONCE.  Many seek new jobs because they think the boss is intolerable, the environment oppressive or the work is not what they thought. Their once “ideal opportunity” has become meaningless – offering no growth or potential. Their relationship has become cold (and they typically refuse to accept any responsibility in its cooling). Unless one seeks to identify (and accept) his or her role in the negative, however, leaving “the wrong job or running from a struggling relationship for anything other than the “right reasons” will only delay the inevitable decline or loss of “what is.”  Before looking outside for the solution or running to someone else (inevitably destined to repeat the catastrophic failure that initiated the transition), examine what changed, why it changed AND what you might be able to do to restore the luster (rather than blaming others and excusing yourself).2)     

IDENTIFY YOUR PERSONAL STRENGTHS WHEN CONSIDERING CHANGE.  It is surprising how few people can answer the question, “What do you like most about what you do, who you are, or with whom you choose to spend your time?” If seeking a change, people typically seek as little PERSONAL disruption as possible (while wanting as large a difference as imaginable)…as similar a situation as they were used to (but wanting no difference in effort or actions elsewhere to result in significantly increased results)…as much acceptance and influence within their relationships (giving more than expecting to receive). Those that successfully change often leverage their gifts, talents, and abilities to help them transition from one place to the next – from one relationship to another – but will RARELY find satisfaction without building upon what they “like” as they leave the “identified dislikes” behind.

3)      ISOLATE AND ACKNOWLEDGE THE NEGATIVES WITHIN YOUR CURRENT SITUATION WHEN CONSIDERING CHANGE.  Individuals often dwell so much on the negatives of where they have been that they inadvertently become the sum and substance of who they are. Many find that the thing they dislike most about their current situation actually has nothing to do with their duties, responsibilities, or actual day-to-day interactions. Rather, the “things” we dislike the most are often part of the environment in which we work, the people we work with, the level of responsibility we are given (or we assume), the LACK of responsibility we perceive we have (or have accepted), the boss – or even our dissatisfaction we have with the face we see in the mirror were we to compile a list of “dislikes.” Before taking action to disrupt your existence, make sure that it needs disrupting. A relatively minor issue should not force you into giving up something you might otherwise enjoy…an irritating idiosyncrasy should not force one away from an otherwise happy relationship…a bump in the road should initiate conversation rather than trigger the immediate abandonment of what were once hopes and dreams. Unless we acknowledge our own negatives (and how they might contribute to our personal dissatisfaction), we will probably NEVER escape from what we perceive to be imperfection as we will more often than not carry that “baggage” with us to the next event, environment or relationship.

Change often requires us to take a “road less travelled” if we wish to arrive at a location where we can complete something not yet accomplished by doing things never before done. People are often more comfortable doing what they have always done – and blaming others for what is not to their liking. If you seek “differences” in your life…want to make resolutions that can be maintained OR revolutions that will shake the world…intentionally act and “do” things differently while expecting alternative result. Why focus on the things you DO NOT LIKE when seeking a new opportunity that might provide the things you WOULD PREFER to accomplish?  Seek change ONLY if you are willing to walk away from the world you know to enter one you can only imagine. Leverage the strengths you possess – building upon them to accomplish great things – rather than wishing and hoping for the ones you wish you had. The difference between a resolution and a revolution is simple…a private resolution lacks public accountability while a public revolution refuses to allow us to hide behind good intentions or mis-appropriated efforts while seeking meaningful change.