CHOOSING WHICH PATH TO TAKE WHEN YOU REACH A FORK IN THE ROAD

Everyone comes to a fork in the road – a decision point that forever changes what they have done, redirecting all efforts and activities towards the accomplishment of what they have yet to become. Many attempt to “define” this moment through resolutions to change but find that shifting directions is a process rather than an event. We cannot “will” ourselves to eliminate years of unhealthy habits in one moment – it takes time to undo what we often do to ourselves. “If only…” will never define “what is…” or what could be should we truly wish to alter the course of our lives and the way we make decisions. When we trap ourselves within a world of excuses by defaulting to what might have happened “if only” we had acted differently (while doing nothing to change the way we look at, address or act in response to a situation), we will never experience anything different than we have already lived, felt and attained. Dwelling upon things NOT accomplished will never initiate change as it tends to reinforce your limitations by rationalizing what has happened (rather than celebrating your abilities and the way they could be applied to seek an alternative reality).

Some individuals act in accordance with established policy, practice or procedure whether or not that may be the best way to do something as it is easy, often the path of least resistance and proven to at least accomplish the bare minimum. Others constantly question what they are asked to do as a means to evaluate and temper the validity of an action prior to its being taken as they seek to advance “what is” to “what could be.”  We will never experience our full potential by seeking comfort within a world defined by other’s expectations – by doing what is required ONLY by doing it EXACTLY as we are told (without considering how it might be done better). Life is not a spectator sport – it requires careful consideration, intelligent planning and the intentional implementation of action. Most successful individuals establish basic tenants for their life – rules they use to hold themselves accountable for their own actions. Six “truths” that should be considered as one chooses which path to take when confronted with a fork in the road – the trail providing the “highest return on investment” while identifying and maintaining an acceptable level of risk – would include the following:

 ·       It is OK to make a mistake AS LONG AS we do not repeat the same mistake over and over again. It is OK to make a wrong decision – any well-thought-out decision is better than no decision – even if the decision might be to delay making one until further research allows us to make an informed choice – but it is NOT all right to avoid deciding just to minimize confrontation, discomfort or fear of the unknown. Learn from your errors, using them as a springboard to propel you forward. People will usually work with you and allow you to learn from your mistakes as long as you continue to show measurable progress or growth.

·       Focus on things you can control. Identify obstacles that are within your sphere of influence and actively seek to eliminate whatever hurdles you can by giving them to someone who has the ability to influence them. Likewise, seek to find the factors you cannot influence or control and either attempt to gain the experience, ability or authority to change them or find ways they can be overcome OR you will never move from where you are to where you wish to be.

·       Lying, cheating, or stealing is intolerable. If you are the best performer or individual who consistently produces the highest results – but those results came through dishonesty or at someone else’s expense – you will not be respected, credible NOR working (or participating in an ongoing relationship) for very long.

·       Results are recognized – effort is merely a means to the end. If one seeks praise for working hard or contributing, he/she will often be disappointed. Let recognition (and satisfaction) come your way through the results your effort achieved (whether or not anyone else speaks openly about them). In the end, we can find satisfaction, purpose and value ONLY in what we see, do, experience and accomplish – and how those things might impact or benefit others – when we fulfill our own expectations rather than seeking outward praise from others.

·         All individuals may speak, question, and have a voice in any decision but that does not mean all votes are equal. Life is not a democracy. Input is valued but individuals responsible for the ultimate success of any endeavor must – and will - make the final decision. Do not confuse “equal” with “equitable” as you seek to identify and establish new opportunities. All individuals have different gifts, attributes and experiences that, when applied proportionately to a decision, can have a significant impact. If all such attributes were treated equally, however, decisions may never be made and goals might never be accomplished.

·         There is nothing that “cannot be done” (and rarely anything that cannot be “undone”). While
some solutions may not be cost-effective, are simply impractical or beyond our ability to implement, “I cannot…” “It is not possible,” and “Nobody would do it that way” approaches and attitudes are not acceptable. Well thought-out solutions to issues you may encounter in life are not reasons for celebration, they are simply expectations of the way you should continually exhibit and utilize your abilities as you move forward through life…as you anticipate what the NEXT fork in your road might be rather than resting upon your laurels for choosing one correct path. Remember, too, that detours, roadblocks and other disruptions often interfere with our progress when we make an initial decision. NEVER give up, give in or give away your ability to make a difference through the things you do, think or say. A results-focused orientation is critical when choosing the right path to take and persistence is required to either follow through OR begin anew as one moves along the road less travelled.

As the sands of time begin to bury yet another year, expand upon the things you have experienced rather than dwelling upon the things that “COULD have been accomplished IF ONLY you had not run out of time.”  Somehow, building from a foundation of “what is” seems much more relevant to life than hiding behind “What could have been.”  Seeking “what has yet to happen” provides a much better base upon which to build in this life than “Why try?”